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Men and their weight room
veggiehottie
Posts: 590 Member
I am so tired of men who think they own the weight room! Ugh.
I have been lifting for years, and am proud to say that I know my $&it! Today I went to a new gym and attempted to show my 9 year old son how to lift for his first time (I am a single mom, and unfortunately do not know any guys who can show him this).
The men in this room were soooooooo rude. Basically crowding us out, not caring where we were standing, etc. etc. No smiles were to be found and some of them even looked annoyed. (This was not all the guys in the room, some of them were doing their own thing too, and left us alone.)
I have experienced this before when I was solo, but never to the extent as today when I was with my kiddo. I mean, what is that? Because I was the only woman in the room? Because I was attempting to show my son how to do it? Because we were new faces?
I have been lifting for years, and am proud to say that I know my $&it! Today I went to a new gym and attempted to show my 9 year old son how to lift for his first time (I am a single mom, and unfortunately do not know any guys who can show him this).
The men in this room were soooooooo rude. Basically crowding us out, not caring where we were standing, etc. etc. No smiles were to be found and some of them even looked annoyed. (This was not all the guys in the room, some of them were doing their own thing too, and left us alone.)
I have experienced this before when I was solo, but never to the extent as today when I was with my kiddo. I mean, what is that? Because I was the only woman in the room? Because I was attempting to show my son how to do it? Because we were new faces?
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Replies
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sorry to hear that the folks in the gym were so rude! But one comment I have is a 9 year old is way to young to be in a gym let alone the weight lifting area. I'm actually very surprised the gym let you bring him in.
I know at my gym the age limit is 16 years old and I can't think of when I've seen anyone that young in the lifting area.
I really don't think it's appropriate to bring someone that young into an area where if they are not paying attention (and what 9 year old pays attention?) they could get seriously hurt.
I think doing basketball or tennis or racquetball even would be great and maybe some group classes where they allow 9 year olds to attend would be good. But not the weight lifting area of a gym.0 -
I don't like to jump to the conclusion that someone's an *kitten* because you're a certain race, sex, etc. I think the guys at your gym just didn't pass sandbox 101 and learn to share.0
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@Arleigh - I know of an 8 year old boy who deadlifts over 100lbs. So long as it's done safely, there is no problem with children resistance training - most issues are related to attention span.
I think the guys in this gym are just rude; nothing to do with much else - that's probably just what the culture is in that gym.0 -
I know. Everyone treats me like a beginner. Or that I'm invisible.0
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Actually, my gym DOES allow 9 year olds in (it is the minimum age). They even have intro strength training classes for them!
The attention was a bit of a problem, but he did relatively well.
I did some research on it before taking him in, and read that weight lifting with light weights would be appropriate for his age level. I did not have him lifting heavy or anything, just little dumbbells.
He is a big, strong kid (4''11, 110 pounds, looks like he is 13). He can reach all of the machines, there is no way they thought he was too little. He can physically handle it, in my opinion.0 -
I have to agree with Arleigh7, I think it might be more of an age thing. As far as I know a lot of gyms have age limits and I have a feeling 9 is probably beneath most of those limits. You might have actually been breaking a gym rule by bringing him with you, I'd check with a manager there.
Edit: never mind, I just saw your response, lol.0 -
When I'm in the weight room I dont smile at anyone, I dont talk to anyone, I'm focused. In my opinion maybe they were just trying to get their workout in. My son is 9 years old and I would NEVER let him in the weight room. Our free weights start at 20 lbs and there is no way he could lift that or reach any of the machines. They were probably wondering what he was doing there.0
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I've got a 10 year old son, and as much as I approve of kiddo's learning to exercise wisely, I have to say I'd find it really weird to see a mother in the gym with a child that age as well. I wouldn't stare or be funny about it, would just think, hmmm kinda strange and carry on with my workout though lol.0
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OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.
Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?0 -
There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.0
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There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.
Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym. Not because I don't think they should work out or learn, just that I go to the gym to get away from kids.0 -
There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.
Exactly the same here. I have used several different gyms, several being military gyms, very macho and male dominated. Never ever had any hassle, strange behaviour, unfriendly attitudes whatsoever. Well not to my face anyway..... Maybe I've just been lucky though?0 -
Just hold your own. I consider it the opposite of sexist when the men don't give me special treatment.0
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You posted the question, so I presume you want honest answers and opinions. . . A commercial weightlifting gym is not a place for (most) 9 year olds. Many people feel that the gym is their respite and escape from children for a little while. That does NOT excuse overtly rude behavior though. Remember, the gym is not normally a bastion of polite behavior and social grace. But if you believe you're being treated badly, man up (pun intended) and SAY SO!0
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Most women, in their life time, are not subjected to equal treatment. In the weight room, is one place where a woman might feel more of what it's like when men are neutral towards you.
They aren't smiling, kissing your *kitten*, holding the door for you, or trying to make you laugh. At that moment, they don't even care that you exist.0 -
OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.
Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?
^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.0 -
I kind of feel the same way but today, we had several other women there and I was able to compare. They acted just like the guys do. I think what we perceive as serious, unfriendly, rude, etc. is just FOCUS. I also checked my attitude and I noticed that I'm very serious myself when I lift. I probably even look annoyed. lol0
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Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym........ I go to the gym to get away from kids.
The OP checked and the son is in the age allowed... sounds like you should review your gym's policy on age limits. I see a father and son in my gym about 3 days a week- the son is one of the most considerate and polite people I ever see there. Not to mention, he's a hard worker- I like seeing him there, it helps me stay motivated.
anyone who doesn't want to see younger people at the gym should seek out an adults only gym.0 -
OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.
Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?
^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.
^ What they both said0 -
Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.
I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.
I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.
The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.0 -
Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym........ I go to the gym to get away from kids.
The OP checked and the son is in the age allowed... sounds like you should review your gym's policy on age limits. I see a father and son in my gym about 3 days a week- the son is one of the most considerate and polite people I ever see there. Not to mention, he's a hard worker- I like seeing him there, it helps me stay motivated.
anyone who doesn't want to see younger people at the gym should seek out an adults only gym.
The gym where I am a member is adults only, 16 and up. But thanks for the advice/assumptions.0 -
Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.
I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.
I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.
The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.
Well, you can't change the guys. So, definitely try going in there with a different mindset or find a women's only gym. Maybe just take your son to the YMCA for weight classes if he wants to continue weight training. Or invest in a few free weights to have at home for him.0 -
Maybe they did treat you differently, but it's more likely because of above bold than their gender; get to know them and they'll treat you the same, more than likely.Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.
I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.
I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.
The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.0 -
OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.
Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?
Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.0 -
Thanks to ALL of you for your opinions and answers. Happy holidays!0
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Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.
I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.
I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.
The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.
You can't expect people to treat strangers the same way they treat their personal friends- male or female. That's just silly.0 -
I've been intimidated by men in the freeweights area at other gyms and am glad that 99% percent of my fellow gym members are fine. No one talks or is overly friendly, but we're working out. I will only smile if I happen to make eye contact with someone, but I don't seek it out.
I will say that I'd be annoyed as well if I had a 9-year-old in the weight area.0 -
OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.
Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?
Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.
<applause> You beat me to it! I was just about to say, "A sad day if that is what is now considered to be treating someone like one of the guys".
Well spoken, thank you.0 -
You can't expect people to treat strangers the same way they treat their personal friends- male or female. That's just silly.
no - but you can expect people to treat others with equal respect. That's just basics.0 -
Just hold your own. I consider it the opposite of sexist when the men don't give me special treatment.
I agree. In fact, I find it completely obnoxious when guys come over to me to try to tell me how to do something "right" or say I lift heavy for a girl or anything like that. I find it condescending. Treat me like everyone else, please 0
This discussion has been closed.
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