Men and their weight room

LoveMyLife_NYC

No guys are rude to me in my gym. Some of the guys even recognize me now and give me a nod or say hi. There are a few groups of guys who are notorious for sitting around on the equipment and talking for an hour while everyone else is trying to get them to move so they can get a set in. No one is rude to them about it, but they are kind of a joke at the gym.

The only time I ever got totally offended by a guy's behavior at the gym was when this guy watched me finish a set of leg presses, came over to me, and started re-racking my weights without asking (I guess to be a gentleman? But it just wasn't the place for it). :grumble: I'm not in the weight room to have someone else lifting my weights for me... he hasn't done that again. But no... my gym is pretty awesome.

heatherloveslifting

Wow, I love my gym. Guys outnumber me about 20:1 in the weight area, but everyone (men and women) has been really nice and polite so far. In all honesty though, our gym is 16 and up and I would not want to work out in a room full of nine year olds.

monty619

i think its cuz ur kid was in the gym... honestly if i saw kids in the gym let alone being encouraged by adults honestly id be a little annoyed... kids get stronger by playing sports outside and wrestling with each other, not lifting weights in a gym... pushups and pullups at most but if i saw a 9 year old using the machines or free weights i would be like WTF..

just my honest opinion.

dave4d

When I was at the gym, today, I saw a child that was around that age. His mother would check on him occasionally, and he was working out with the machines, using good form, and discipline. I was quite impressed. He eventually went to the basketball court, and shot hoops till his mom was done.

I understand why people are scared to have kids in the weight room. Most try to lift too heavy, or run around creating havoc, but there are a few that do it right. I'm sure he was taught well by his mother about proper behavior in the weight room.

harlanJEN

OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.

^^^^^ THIS
Totally

I'm a woman ... And I get my feathers ruffled when I hear/read a comment such as " men and their weight room" . I consider it sexist and bashing. I'm sure that wasn't your intent .. But it can be / is taken as offensive

I've never been treated rudely, in fact, I'm pretty much ignored and I in turn ignore .... I'm there to workout, not socialize, as are the other folks ( who are, indeed, mostly men ... who have stumbled into "my" weight room) : )

meshashesha2012

i'm not a man but a 9 year old in the weight room is weird. of course it depends on how mature that kid is, but i've never seen a child in a gym not run around acting like a child and most likely you the non parent has to act like a babysitter if the kid is doing something potentially dangerous.

and started re-racking my weights without asking (I guess to be a gentleman? But it just wasn't the place for it).

thi happened to me today. i was ok with it. i'd LOVE to have a racking and reracking minion. i even asked him if he knew where the bumper plates were because i couldnt find them and wanted to practice clean he looked and couldnt find them either. i didnt feel bad about having him look either, i'm a haughty b*tch and jump on any chance i get someone offers to perform menial labor for me :laugh:

Laces_0ut

i wish my parents had me weight training at a young age. bravo to you!

DavPul

OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.

I must be missing something. Where did I call someone a *kitten*? I must have come off as unhappy with my gym but that's not the case at all. I enjoy my time at the gym and feel like I'm treated fairly. And I treat others fairly. I don't judge my gym experience by number of smiles received.

RECowgill

Sorry this happened to the OP. I got no problem with kids in the weight room provided they're supervised or trained, which sounds like what you were doing. There was a dad with his son in the gym today, I don't have a problem with it. I think its a good thing to get kids thinking about weightlifting so they're more comfortable and at ease with it later.

Also I think this kind of sexism against women in the weight room is just awful. It still goes on way too much, I don't see a lot of women at my gym and I think that's too bad.

For what its worth, my mother was a Boeing airplane mechanic for the better part of a decade. Total boys club, she had to deal with a ton of crap daily and often. But she did it, I don't know how. It's not cool and people need to be more respectful and mindful of their own business.

chocolatecroissant

I was interested in the title of the original post as I know that I often think of the weights area as male dominated - and men are in the vast majority - but (in my gym at least) they're not rude, just focused. I know that I avoid a lot of the free weights areas as I am intimidated by the men - especially groups of men - there. But I'd probably be just as intimidated by groups of women! THey aren't intimidating - but I am still intimidated!! Interesting thread and it doesn't sound like it's put you off so hope it's a better experience for you next time.

DakotaKeogh

Yet another whiny hater. Get over it.

RECowgill

I was interested in the title of the original post as I know that I often think of the weights area as male dominated - and men are in the vast majority - but (in my gym at least) they're not rude, just focused. I know that I avoid a lot of the free weights areas as I am intimidated by the men - especially groups of men - there. But I'd probably be just as intimidated by groups of women! THey aren't intimidating - but I am still intimidated!! Interesting thread and it doesn't sound like it's put you off so hope it's a better experience for you next time.

Yeah don't feel intimidated get in there and do your thing!

Lozze

For those who have never experienced this count yourselves lucky! I used to think the same, until I moved and my closest chain gym was exactly like this. Young guys staring at women who walked in and drooling, treated like you were doing it wrong and just very intimidating. You rarely saw women in there and mostly on cardio. When a newer chain one opened I switched and was talking to one of the guys there who had gone to the old one and he mentioned how intimidated he'd been!

Sometimes it's just the gym and the atmosphere allowed to be there.

OP having read your story, I doubt it was anything to do with your gender, but your young son. People are wary about kids in that the of environment and for good reason.

Maaarkk

I don't think girls should be intimidated by the weights room, but a lot of the time it seems they are. My girlfriend refuses to come into the free weight section unless its about the last 10 mins of my workout and she's waiting for me to hurry up so she can get out of there lol. I know in my gym though that when a girl walks through the weights section you can see everyone staring which is probably the reason they get most intimidated. I think everyone stares because it seems unusual for them to be there. Whereas if they used it more frequently it would seem normal then they probably wouldn't get much/any notice.

EvgeniZyntx

Ah, I love these catch 22 situations. If I smile at a woman In the weight room I'm sometime considered as coming on to them and now if the OP is ignored we are rude. Great. The title of this thread and the associated assumptions suck. In my gyms eople are greeted and that's about it. I expect to be mostly ignored - respectfully so.

Last week I went with my two daughters to the gym, both are total novices at heavy weights and do not like barbells - it's likely neither will get into them for a while. But one spots me. Should I get upset that I'm ignored, no one smiles at me and I get asked when I will free the bench? Am I getting crowded out? Hmmm, maybe I should be more concerned.

OP - i'd likely respectfully ignore you in my gym, the weight area is small, I'm doing my thing and mostly focus and not try to think about others because quite frankly it is a place where personal space gets squeezed, it smells, we grunt and move things. I would not bring my own 10 or 8 year old there ever (and the fact that they are girls should not be a consideration, they do participate in all my other sports) because of the tightness of that space. Kids always get a smile from me.

I'd also question weightlifting for someone at 10 - given that their neuroskeletal system is not fully developed and that compression stress is a significant factor in bone modeling - I know from my experience in designing hip prosthesis that functional modeling in children competitive gymnasts, ballet, etc. can lead to (but not necessarily) this type of structural damage. If you do continue, make sure weights are kept reasonable low. Btw, this does not hold for kids with the pediatric need to use weights due to growth or structural imbalance; we corrected a slight congenital scoliosis (18% reduced to 7%) in my second daughter thanks to weight loaded exercises.

Dave198lbs

I have belonged to maybe 6 gyms as I have moved around, upgraded, etc one was a YMCA. Not one of them would allow a 9 year old child in the weight rooms. I dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I could not imagine trying to work out with a large number of children in there.

Should a nine year old be lifting weights? Ideally, no. They should be playing with other children in their age group. If they are going to lift, they would need very close supervision to avoid injuring themselves or others I would think.

More and more women are lifting at the gym these days and I do not notice them being treated any differently than anyone else who is going about their business. I dont really pay that much attention tho. There are occasionally both men and women who seem intent on drawing attention to themselves and they usually dont last long or they end up realizing that is the wrong place for that and eventually blend in like the rest of those there to get in their workout.

DavPul

Ah, I love these catch 22 situations. If I smile at a woman In the weight room I'm sometime considered as coming on to them and now if the OP is ignored we are rude. Great. The title of this thread and the associated assumptions suck. In my gyms eople are greeted and that's about it. I expect to be mostly ignored - respectfully so.

Very well said. If my head turns slightly in the direction of a woman I'm a drooling creeper, if i try to correct their form I am insulting their intelligence, and if I ignore them completely I'm rude and possibly intimidating.

"The only way to win is not to play"-WOPR

letjog

I'd be pissed off if there were kids in the gym too.
It's bad enough having them screaming in the changing rooms after the school uses the pool.

9 year olds should not lift HEAVY as it is damaging to their unfused growth plates. Light weights only.

Nirlbou

I was raised by a single mom, and it took me 35 years to get into a gym, I say go, teach him good form, stay under 40lbs to prevent stunted bone development, and expose him to men you want him to learn from, and if those men can't play well with others point it out to him and keep on going. Going once you are in the way. Go everyday, they will get over it quickly.

sm1zzle

I am so tired of men who think they own the weight room! Ugh.

I have been lifting for years, and am proud to say that I know my $&it! Today I went to a new gym and attempted to show my 9 year old son how to lift for his first time (I am a single mom, and unfortunately do not know any guys who can show him this).

The men in this room were soooooooo rude. Basically crowding us out, not caring where we were standing, etc. etc. No smiles were to be found and some of them even looked annoyed. (This was not all the guys in the room, some of them were doing their own thing too, and left us alone.)

I have experienced this before when I was solo, but never to the extent as today when I was with my kiddo. I mean, what is that? Because I was the only woman in the room? Because I was attempting to show my son how to do it? Because we were new faces?

There's a little bit of that going on in almost every weight room at any gym.
*kitten* pure and simple.
Now you atleast you have a real world example of how not to act in life, and you can tell your son "This is not how respectable human beings act."