Men and their weight room

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  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym........ I go to the gym to get away from kids.

    The OP checked and the son is in the age allowed... sounds like you should review your gym's policy on age limits. I see a father and son in my gym about 3 days a week- the son is one of the most considerate and polite people I ever see there. Not to mention, he's a hard worker- I like seeing him there, it helps me stay motivated.


    anyone who doesn't want to see younger people at the gym should seek out an adults only gym.

    The gym where I am a member is adults only, 16 and up. But thanks for the advice/assumptions.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.

    I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.

    I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.

    The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.

    Well, you can't change the guys. So, definitely try going in there with a different mindset or find a women's only gym. Maybe just take your son to the YMCA for weight classes if he wants to continue weight training. Or invest in a few free weights to have at home for him.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.

    I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.

    I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.

    The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.
    Maybe they did treat you differently, but it's more likely because of above bold than their gender; get to know them and they'll treat you the same, more than likely.
  • strongmind_strongbody
    strongmind_strongbody Posts: 82
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    Thanks to ALL of you for your opinions and answers. Happy holidays!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.

    I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.

    I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.

    The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.

    You can't expect people to treat strangers the same way they treat their personal friends- male or female. That's just silly.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    I've been intimidated by men in the freeweights area at other gyms and am glad that 99% percent of my fellow gym members are fine. No one talks or is overly friendly, but we're working out. I will only smile if I happen to make eye contact with someone, but I don't seek it out.

    I will say that I'd be annoyed as well if I had a 9-year-old in the weight area.
  • Yogi_Carl
    Yogi_Carl Posts: 1,906 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.

    <applause> You beat me to it! I was just about to say, "A sad day if that is what is now considered to be treating someone like one of the guys".

    Well spoken, thank you.
  • Yogi_Carl
    Yogi_Carl Posts: 1,906 Member
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    You can't expect people to treat strangers the same way they treat their personal friends- male or female. That's just silly.

    no - but you can expect people to treat others with equal respect. That's just basics.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
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    Just hold your own. I consider it the opposite of sexist when the men don't give me special treatment.

    I agree. In fact, I find it completely obnoxious when guys come over to me to try to tell me how to do something "right" or say I lift heavy for a girl or anything like that. I find it condescending. Treat me like everyone else, please :)
  • LoveMyLife_NYC
    LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
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    No guys are rude to me in my gym. Some of the guys even recognize me now and give me a nod or say hi. There are a few groups of guys who are notorious for sitting around on the equipment and talking for an hour while everyone else is trying to get them to move so they can get a set in. No one is rude to them about it, but they are kind of a joke at the gym.

    The only time I ever got totally offended by a guy's behavior at the gym was when this guy watched me finish a set of leg presses, came over to me, and started re-racking my weights without asking (I guess to be a gentleman? But it just wasn't the place for it). :grumble: I'm not in the weight room to have someone else lifting my weights for me... he hasn't done that again. But no... my gym is pretty awesome.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Wow, I love my gym. Guys outnumber me about 20:1 in the weight area, but everyone (men and women) has been really nice and polite so far. In all honesty though, our gym is 16 and up and I would not want to work out in a room full of nine year olds.
  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    i think its cuz ur kid was in the gym... honestly if i saw kids in the gym let alone being encouraged by adults honestly id be a little annoyed... kids get stronger by playing sports outside and wrestling with each other, not lifting weights in a gym... pushups and pullups at most but if i saw a 9 year old using the machines or free weights i would be like WTF..

    just my honest opinion.
  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
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    When I was at the gym, today, I saw a child that was around that age. His mother would check on him occasionally, and he was working out with the machines, using good form, and discipline. I was quite impressed. He eventually went to the basketball court, and shot hoops till his mom was done.

    I understand why people are scared to have kids in the weight room. Most try to lift too heavy, or run around creating havoc, but there are a few that do it right. I'm sure he was taught well by his mother about proper behavior in the weight room.
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    ^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.

    ^^^^^ THIS
    Totally

    I'm a woman ... And I get my feathers ruffled when I hear/read a comment such as " men and their weight room" . I consider it sexist and bashing. I'm sure that wasn't your intent .. But it can be / is taken as offensive

    I've never been treated rudely, in fact, I'm pretty much ignored and I in turn ignore .... I'm there to workout, not socialize, as are the other folks ( who are, indeed, mostly men ... who have stumbled into "my" weight room) : )
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i'm not a man but a 9 year old in the weight room is weird. of course it depends on how mature that kid is, but i've never seen a child in a gym not run around acting like a child and most likely you the non parent has to act like a babysitter if the kid is doing something potentially dangerous.
    and started re-racking my weights without asking (I guess to be a gentleman? But it just wasn't the place for it).
    thi happened to me today. i was ok with it. i'd LOVE to have a racking and reracking minion. i even asked him if he knew where the bumper plates were because i couldnt find them and wanted to practice clean he looked and couldnt find them either. i didnt feel bad about having him look either, i'm a haughty b*tch and jump on any chance i get someone offers to perform menial labor for me :laugh:
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    i wish my parents had me weight training at a young age. bravo to you!
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    Dude, where are you working out? :frown: Where I live, that is NOT normal treatment in the gym. Just because it's a gym doesn't mean people should feel like they need to compete for the"*kitten* of the Year Award" just to get a good workout. The guys at my gym are 99% gentlemen, to each other, and to the women who lift. Occasionally, they even smile and say Hi. It's shocking--but you CAN be a decent human being and still manage to workout hard.

    I must be missing something. Where did I call someone a *kitten*? I must have come off as unhappy with my gym but that's not the case at all. I enjoy my time at the gym and feel like I'm treated fairly. And I treat others fairly. I don't judge my gym experience by number of smiles received.
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
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    Sorry this happened to the OP. I got no problem with kids in the weight room provided they're supervised or trained, which sounds like what you were doing. There was a dad with his son in the gym today, I don't have a problem with it. I think its a good thing to get kids thinking about weightlifting so they're more comfortable and at ease with it later.

    Also I think this kind of sexism against women in the weight room is just awful. It still goes on way too much, I don't see a lot of women at my gym and I think that's too bad.

    For what its worth, my mother was a Boeing airplane mechanic for the better part of a decade. Total boys club, she had to deal with a ton of crap daily and often. But she did it, I don't know how. It's not cool and people need to be more respectful and mindful of their own business.
  • chocolatecroissant
    chocolatecroissant Posts: 155 Member
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    I was interested in the title of the original post as I know that I often think of the weights area as male dominated - and men are in the vast majority - but (in my gym at least) they're not rude, just focused. I know that I avoid a lot of the free weights areas as I am intimidated by the men - especially groups of men - there. But I'd probably be just as intimidated by groups of women! THey aren't intimidating - but I am still intimidated!! Interesting thread and it doesn't sound like it's put you off so hope it's a better experience for you next time.

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