Absolutely Devastated

GiftsbyNature
GiftsbyNature Posts: 54 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Long story short, I weighted 236 lbs at my heaviest. I worked out, did yoga, ate right and lost over 80lbs to reach my goal of 150. Then life fell apart. My husband ( who was abusive) left me, you would think this was a good thing but for some reason it sent me into a spiral wondering if everything he had said all along was right. The fact that he proceeded to date a girl still in highschool only compounded my confusion. I lost my routine and my focus and gained back to almost 180. My son is three and I want to be the healthy run around town mom with him...but I am in dire need for supportive friends to guide me back to the positive person that I was once upon a time. Thank you all
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Replies

  • andilion
    andilion Posts: 44 Member
    Hi. Seems like with all the New Years activity, posts are getting buried pretty quickly so I'll bump this a bit. I'd love to offer some support.
  • GiftsbyNature
    GiftsbyNature Posts: 54 Member
    Thank you so much sweetheart, I was kinda worried that I had been to honest, but I want my reasons to help fuel me in the right direction . My main reason is my son after all, no matter where I came from - hes my world
  • AmandaJ
    AmandaJ Posts: 1,950 Member
    HI, I have also lost weight and now am back to 185 lbs. Makes me sad, feel free to send me a friend request if you would like.
  • Annaduurai
    Annaduurai Posts: 56 Member
    I spiraled when my X left too. It should have been a good thing and now I see it clearly that is is. I would be glad to help motivate you and be a sounding board when you need one. oh and you can never be to honest imo.
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
    Hey you can add me if you want. I actually lost around 80lbs after my pregnancy and through the past few months I've been having a lot of trouble and ended up gaining back some of that weight so we are in the same boat! We can get through this together!
  • sandysandmeyer
    sandysandmeyer Posts: 4
    You know I had lost a few pounds last year when I was doing the Daniel Fast as part of a 21 day prayer rally at church and I was feeling good. Then I slowly let my bad habits get the best of me and I've gained it all back. I feel like poop and am probably the heaviest I've ever been. It is so nice to meet you and we can do this thing together.
  • krystal_black
    krystal_black Posts: 86
    You have definitely come to the right place. We are all here to love and support each other, feel free to add me and we can chat anytime about anything.
  • StrongLife
    StrongLife Posts: 525 Member
    Sometimes being honest is the best thing for you. Friend me if you'd like.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
    You have done it once you can do it again.

    Your Ex sounds like he has some serious problems (a high school girl? he sounds really creepy!!) and his actions speak volumes about the sort of person he is. That is an instant weight loss of the best kind right there when he left.

    Now you can be YOU. Totally and 100% honestly you, without trying to tippy toe around some psycho partner. You and your son do not need the drama.

    Now lets get you FIT girl!!
  • Jockey6
    Jockey6 Posts: 2
    Turn your devistation into motivation, let your anger fuel your energy and will to achieve your goals. Plenty of support on here for you x: smile:
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
    After an event like that nothing feels better than getting into shape, best revenge too if you care about that sort of thing. Your health and looks is about the only thing you can control. I wish you all the best and will pray for you and your child for peace and hope.
  • Jen_Jennings
    Jen_Jennings Posts: 124 Member
    Feel free to add me if you'd like to. Also, my friend Amy is new here and also needs support, here is her profile. Add her too, she needs friends.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/amylouv
  • kkenny0146
    kkenny0146 Posts: 66 Member
    This is a great community for support and motivation. Feel free to add me, if you like.
  • ChangingCarol2013
    ChangingCarol2013 Posts: 3
    I've been there with you, perhaps a slightly different situation, but painful. You shed his weight and now you need to focus on shedding yours. Add me too. I need all the friends I can get. :)
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
    180 is not 236. You are aware of your actions and the consequences they are bringing. You are aware of your emotional needs and responses. You are aware that you are on a path that you don't want to be on. And you are holding yourself accountable for your own health. You are stepping up and not allowing yourself to sink into a place where your emotions might control you, you are taking control.

    That's a good thing!!

    Also, he sounds like a creep and you're healthier without him, no matter if you gain a few pounds here and there. But don't let HIM be the cause of any more unhealthy choices.
  • GiftsbyNature
    GiftsbyNature Posts: 54 Member
    Wow!

    Absolutely Wow! I checked this today and was absolutely awe struck to see such a wonderful response! You all have warmed my heart and given me strength!
  • lorih1973
    lorih1973 Posts: 8
    Feel free to add me as well. Went through a divorce in 2011. No matter why/what was going on it's tough to go through.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,023 Member
    Well the good thing is that you actually did it. Now all you have to do it do it again...................permanently. Don't undervalue yourself. If you do, then you child will follow suit..........................


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    My abusive ex left me, too...almost thirteen years ago. Although I was devastated at the time, IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. I am now remarried to the most wonderful man, we have two beautiful boys and I am more fit than I've been in my life.

    You will get through this. ((hugs))

    Feel free to add me...I'll support you through this. :heart:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Um.. is that girl underage? Because the first thing that came to my mind is "creepy *kitten*, is he committing statutory rape?"
  • dawn_eichert
    dawn_eichert Posts: 487 Member
    I take it as a positive that you haven't regained all that you lost though so you are already ahead of the game. Your motivations are great and you can do this. Friend request coming. I am back after having gained it all back from two years ago when I lost 40 using this site. Now I am totally committed that this is a lifestyle and not a diet and something I will need to follow forever.

    Hang in there!!!!
  • Serendipityunt
    Serendipityunt Posts: 120 Member
    We'll all be here for you as you go down this new journey. I know you probably can't see it right now, but you'll be better off because of it. It's not you with the problem, it was never you. It was/is him.
  • SassyMermaidMamma
    SassyMermaidMamma Posts: 6
    Hey Sista, REAL IS MY FAVORITE, so let's be be friends!!!
  • itsdonna35
    itsdonna35 Posts: 59
    I'm going to send you a Friend request...I can relate...oh girl can I ever relate. You see, this happened to me as well..except my ex-douche bag was 54 y/o and his new love was 36 y/o. That was 2 years ago and I had already lost 65 lbs and was 1 semester shy of getting my Bachelors degree. I fell apart for awhile but I eventually realized my self worth and here I am. I'm here for you if you need to talk.
  • gabi_texanmom
    gabi_texanmom Posts: 201 Member
    im sorry to hear that! you will be better off!!!
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    I feel you! I Was doing ok until my ex walked out. He was a manipulative alcoholic. I just thought that I couldn't be able to stand on my own. It was devestating when he left, but I quickly realized I dodged a bullet! However, I picked up bad habits in the mean time. You've done this one in a controling situation with your ex. Just think about how much better this will be doing it without that control behind you. You've got this!
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Long story short, I weighted 236 lbs at my heaviest. I worked out, did yoga, ate right and lost over 80lbs to reach my goal of 150. Then life fell apart. My husband ( who was abusive) left me, you would think this was a good thing but for some reason it sent me into a spiral wondering if everything he had said all along was right. The fact that he proceeded to date a girl still in highschool only compounded my confusion. I lost my routine and my focus and gained back to almost 180. My son is three and I want to be the healthy run around town mom with him...but I am in dire need for supportive friends to guide me back to the positive person that I was once upon a time. Thank you all

    Feel free to add me. Despite the circumstances of your break up, I am VERY glad to hear you are no longer involved in that situation. You are FAR MORE VALUABLE than being somebody's punching bag.
  • Ashiieepuff
    Ashiieepuff Posts: 90
    I'm sorry abut your situation, abusive relationships are the most terrible things. I hope you'll get out of your spiral soon with a healthy vengeance and use it as fuel to keep you going. You're stronger than you think you are, and extremely beautiful, despite what you think you see in the mirror. Congratulations on getting poison out of your life, now focus on you and your son, and happiness will follow shortly!
  • jshot278
    jshot278 Posts: 42 Member
    I think some cheating husbands say & do things so they can convince themselves that their cheating is justified. They try to make you out to be the horrible wife. Then, of course he'd have to stray. I bought into what my husband told me at first. That I was too
    fat & ugly. It was my fault he strayed. Then, after she kicked him out, he kept trying to come around the house for 2yrs.!

    I know it's hard, but you have to be strong for yourself and your child. He has already taken up too much of your time and energy.
    He is not worthy of YOU! You will lose the weight, and he will be eating his heart out. Just don't let him back in.
  • dawnfto
    dawnfto Posts: 79 Member
    Hi, I am here to support you too. Friend request coming your way :)

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