Absolutely Devastated

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Replies

  • hotjacki85
    hotjacki85 Posts: 287 Member
    You can add me... My hubby is still there but its rocky.. and i am an emotional eater so depending on the day i can spiral into binging pretty quick... You have my support :)
  • beckystahnke
    beckystahnke Posts: 41 Member
    Sorry to put it this way, but brace yourself. Here are some of the amazing things that came out of this situation:

    -You have a child you care dearly for who loves you more than anything, who is depending on you right now
    -You only gained back 30 pounds - although it has devastated you, which I understand, it could have been far more
    -Your husband, who is dating an underage girl and who was abusing you, has now done the best possible thing he could - leave you and force you to live for yourself and no longer for him

    Take this as a sign that your life is now in your own hands - don't buckle under the pressure of life. Use this as motivation to change yourself for the better. Talk to a counselor because you are probably VERY vulnerable right now and susceptible to your ex-husband's antics, should he try and get back into your life.
  • zenwalker
    zenwalker Posts: 5
    Boy can I relate....in a backwards way. Prior to my brave escape from a very abusive and cheating husband of 12 years (he had not allowed me to work and eventually whittled away all my friends, family and self-esteem) I had been working out extensively as an escape. I did yoga daily, walked a lot and got down from 160 to 125. After I got out of that situation, my mother soothed me with food of all kinds and since I wasn't working out, I gained all my weight back.

    I was also devastated until I reminded myself that I still had control to work out. I started with very short walks to the park and back and then began to challenge myself to go further. Today I walk an average of 4 miles per day and am slowly adding yoga back into my weekly routine.

    A little known fact about me....I spent almost 2 months in a psychiatric hospital (and not ashamed) to overcome the trauma and depression that my marriage left me with. They put me on medication that is well-known to cause weight. I decided to stay on it for a while because healthy mind is just as important as healthy body. Still, I despised the side effects and weight gain. This month, I embarked on a new and frightening journey to cope with my depression and anxiety without medications. The walking and yoga is said to help and I have added Omega 3, D3, and B complex (all said and proven to assist brain function including warding off depression and anxiety).

    You can do this...you CAN be the healthy mum to your little boy and the healthy person to YOU. You overcame so much already - you can do it!
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"...

    I'm sending a FR now :) Love yourself enough to do this and start your healing!
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    Anyone is welcome to add me... Been at this for seven months and I've dropped 124... Don't try to get back to being someone that you were, strive to become the person you dream of being! You are capable of so much more than you ever did in the past. Its true for all of us! Choose the person you want to become and make the changes to be that person. Its not being fake its becoming what you want to be.
  • ericarae33
    ericarae33 Posts: 211 Member
    You have done it once you can do it again.

    Your Ex sounds like he has some serious problems (a high school girl? he sounds really creepy!!) and his actions speak volumes about the sort of person he is. That is an instant weight loss of the best kind right there when he left.

    Now you can be YOU. Totally and 100% honestly you, without trying to tippy toe around some psycho partner. You and your son do not need the drama.

    Now lets get you FIT girl!!

    Perfectly said! Welcome to MFP!
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
    Your confusion and hurt are understandable, normal, expected and will be temporary. Now you are free to make yourself and your life exactly what you want them to be. Strengthen your boundaries for everyone, but especially for your ex. Don't let him hurt you again. This protects both you and your child. I've been there, too, and can tell you it is very do-able to become a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman who knows she deserves nothing but the best from everyone, including herself. Remember to take stock of your accomplishments periodically to note your progress and you'll see you've come far for the better. Once your boundaries are strong and you know, really know, your worth, the types of people in your life will align with that and you will find yourself with the best friends and maybe even the man of your dreams. I know that may sound impossible now, but it can be done and you can do it.
    I agree that seeing a counselor can be very helpful. It is one of the first things you should do to strengthen your boundaries, recognize your self-worth and create a plan of action to improve your life.
  • Maenaine
    Maenaine Posts: 6 Member
    You can do it. You lost it once. You will do it again. We all get monkey wrench thrown in our lives and you've been tossed a big one. That baby of yours, however, is the perfect motivation. I'm pulling for you.
  • deepthinair752
    deepthinair752 Posts: 1
    Hi,
    Sorry to hear about your life.I would love to be your friend and support.I am 188 pounds and looking for ways to reduce the extra pounds.
    I try to think of 1 positive thing a day.and keep at it.even if my body says please don't exercise today,I try to do so.and I do.so that i know the negative factor is getting pummeled.
    I will try to send you a positive thing i think of everyday.Maybe that might help.
    and also i try to exercise once before breakfast and one after lunch.I have started measuring all my food and also my drinks.and immediatly record it on my fitnesspal.that helps me from overeating.I have lost 3 pounds sofar.so stay with me sister.we can work through this mess called life.
  • shortyrock_78
    shortyrock_78 Posts: 19 Member
    Feel free to add me. We can cheer each other on.
  • Kutchka
    Kutchka Posts: 14
    We have all had problems with our weight and some of still do... emotionally things do upset us at times and some of us eat to make us feel comfort which we are missing... You go girl look at your son and believe in your self, you are not on this journey to become a fitter person alone... life gives us curves now and then, so get back on the straights young lady... and go for Gold :wink:
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I would get some counseling, about being attracted to an abuser (been there done that). I want you to know, you will be able to refocus on you even better now. You son is going to have a better life with out the abuse going on. It does affect them even that young. So you making him your world is great. I know it is devistating to have an abuser leave?? when you are the better person, but just think of how much ugly fat you lost the day he walked out. (mine left then married a girl he used to delver news papers to her house when she was in diapers lol).

    You are a wonderful person and great things are going to come to you in your life. You have lived through this and can do anything.
  • curejenn
    curejenn Posts: 70 Member
    Please feel free to add me! I was with an abusive boyfriend for 10 years. He actually left me (which he did often but always came back after whatever fun he had was over) and I didnt take him back! 6 months later I met my now husband. This is such a hard time... your feelings get all mixed up and even though it seems like its for the best it takes a while before it actually FEELS like its for the best. You will get there. I am working on losing 40 or 50 lbs and would love an extra friend :) You can do this!
  • beckyinma
    beckyinma Posts: 1,433 Member
    I'm with you. Fighting the same 10lb for an entire year and I just can't get myself out of this rut. Got down 65lb, but the holidays got in the way and I got complacent. Every day became a reason to 'enjoy' the holiday spirit, not saving it for the special occasions. I'm slowly getting back in the habit, but I'm finding it's hard to be as gung-ho as I was a year ago...
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
    Sorry to put it this way, but brace yourself. Here are some of the amazing things that came out of this situation:

    -You have a child you care dearly for who loves you more than anything, who is depending on you right now
    -You only gained back 30 pounds - although it has devastated you, which I understand, it could have been far more
    -Your husband, who is dating an underage girl and who was abusing you, has now done the best possible thing he could - leave you and force you to live for yourself and no longer for him

    Take this as a sign that your life is now in your own hands - don't buckle under the pressure of life. Use this as motivation to change yourself for the better. Talk to a counselor because you are probably VERY vulnerable right now and susceptible to your ex-husband's antics, should he try and get back into your life.

    ^^This.

    You may not see it now, but you will look back one day (soon) and thank him for getting out of your life. You deserve better! Sending a request.
  • cnelsdesigns
    cnelsdesigns Posts: 11 Member
    You will do it again. You have been through a lot, but are on the way up again. I have been up and down in weigh and have found out that you just have to forget the past and keep your eyes on the future of losing weight. You will be able to trun it around.
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
    You will get past all of this and be a much stronger person for it. Losing weight is such a bore BUT getting healthier is exciting! So I don't even think about "losing weight". (I only step on the scale every few weeks.) I think about it as getting healthier (and stronger). And THAT feels REALLY good. You will get there! I've lost 50 pounds and 8 inches off my waist and I never thought I could. :smile:
  • playprettie1
    playprettie1 Posts: 66 Member
    I will offer as much support and motivation that I possibly can! Feel free to add me!

    Stay strong, you can absolutely do this!

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