A Miscarraige and Evil Doctor
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Did he tell you to reduce your calories by 250 per day or eat 250 calories per day? Something doesn't seem to be adding up here. I have a hard time believing any doctor would recommend a 250 calorie diet.
Also, you stated you just started your diet and you told him you eat 1,500 calories a day. Did you happen to tell them you just started a new eating program? You don't get 100lbs overweight on a 1500 calorie diet. You either left a good bit of the story out or you weren't completely honest with your doctor and let him assume you have always eating 1,500 cals a day. BTW, if you are eating 1,500 cals a day you don't need a food suppressant.
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I am a father of two little ones and they are special gifts. I hope you guys have success having another one.
Now, I think it’s time to start being honest with yourself and stop making excuses why you can or can't do things. Your profile is filled with excuses. It is so much easier to make excuses than to put in the work but excuses won't get you to where you want to be. We all have crazy schedules, work, commute, kids, chaos. Everyone in my house is up at 5:15am getting ready for the day, eat health breakfast, exercise, get ready (including a 1 and a 2 year old) and out the door (in no particular order).
You know those TV shows you like to watch at night? Well you need to decide would your rather watch those shows and sit on the couch or would you rather attack your goals and do some sort of exercise with that hour. Its about choices, good choices about diet and exercise will get you where you want to be not sulking about being overweight and how things for some reason aren't going your way.
You can do it, you just have to..... well, do it!
Sorry if this was harsh but sounds like you need a kick in the pants and sometimes people who are close to you won't tell you what you need to hear.
Edit - We are in bed by 10:00pm most nights. Sometimes 9:30 and never past 10:30pm. Rest is important and you can't get up at 5am if you are up until 12-1am.
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I wish that I could give you a hug in real life - how traumatic that you had to deal with the miscarriage, and then his insensitivity on all at the same time. Even the way he dealt you the news was unprofessional and cruel. My heart goes out to you. I wish you good health and I hope and pray for your next pregnancy to be healthy and harmonious. Be well.0
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Wow, sorry you went through this....:flowerforyou:
I value a doctor who tells the truth, but please...BEDSIDE MANOR!
Fire him and shop around for a competent physician who has not let his head run off with his heart.0 -
That is beyond false.I always go with a female doctor! They are more understanding! Good luck to you!0 -
That doctor sounds like a royal p***k. I'm so sorry, miscarriages are heartbreaking. Use his harsh words to fuel change in your life. I hope this year brings you healing and strength.0
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Wow, my heart goes out to you. That was terrible and insensitive of that doctor to say those things to you. Talk about unhealthy as heck also. 250 calories in a whole day?? I think a person could die eating just that. You are beautiful and determined. You can do it. If you ever wanna talk I am here, I am a great listener.0
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i am so sorry for your heartbreak and loss
that dr is a heartless jerk who deserves to be reported!
all the best with your goals hun
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Just because "just about everyone has them" doesn't mean it's "no big deal". You lost a baby. It's a big deal.
Find a new ob/gyn. He's an *kitten*.0 -
I am sorry that you have suffered a miscarriage and I hope that you will soon have a healthy baby. I had a miscarriage once so I know how sad you must feel but don't blame yourself about it. The doctor was very insensitive to say to you what he did but it is true that miscarriage is very common and within 12 months of having mine I had a lovely baby. I want to tell you that I too wondered if I had done something wrong. I think it is common to blame oneself. I was not overweight. I was the weight then that I'm hoping to get back to shortly. If you want to lose weight and get healthy you have come to the right place. Good luck with it.0
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Sorry if this was harsh but sounds like you need a kick in the pants and sometimes people who are close to you won't tell you what you need to hear.
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Your intentions might be good, but your execution is severely lacking. I'm pretty sure her coming to MFP and noting that this was devastating for her is the sign that she had her kick in the pants.0 -
You can do this! Show that piece of crap "doctor" a thing or 2!0
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I'm sorry, but did you even bother reading the OP all the way through before posting?Did he tell you to reduce your calories by 250 per day or eat 250 calories per day? Something doesn't seem to be adding up here. I have a hard time believing any doctor would recommend a 250 calorie diet.
Also, you stated you just started your diet and you told him you eat 1,500 calories a day. Did you happen to tell them you just started a new eating program? You don't get 100lbs overweight on a 1500 calorie diet. You either left a good bit of the story out or you weren't completely honest with your doctor and let him assume you have always eating 1,500 cals a day. BTW, if you are eating 1,500 cals a day you don't need a food suppressant.
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I am a father of two little ones and they are special gifts. I hope you guys have success having another one.
Now, I think it’s time to start being honest with yourself and stop making excuses why you can or can't do things. Your profile is filled with excuses. It is so much easier to make excuses than to put in the work but excuses won't get you to where you want to be. We all have crazy schedules, work, commute, kids, chaos. Everyone in my house is up at 5:15am getting ready for the day, eat health breakfast, exercise, get ready (including a 1 and a 2 year old) and out the door (in no particular order).
You know those TV shows you like to watch at night? Well you need to decide would your rather watch those shows and sit on the couch or would you rather attack your goals and do some sort of exercise with that hour. Its about choices, good choices about diet and exercise will get you where you want to be not sulking about being overweight and how things for some reason aren't going your way.
You can do it, you just have to..... well, do it!
Sorry if this was harsh but sounds like you need a kick in the pants and sometimes people who are close to you won't tell you what you need to hear.
Edit - We are in bed by 10:00pm most nights. Sometimes 9:30 and never past 10:30pm. Rest is important and you can't get up at 5am if you are up until 12-1am..0 -
Wow... brings to mind this phrase 'May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch'... aimed at that idiot of a dr!!!
Huge hugs to you both. Good luck with your change to a healthier lifestyle!0 -
i had a miscarriage and the physician's assistant said i was "so cute" for crying. i should have punched her in the face, then i wouldn't have looked so cute for crying! :glasses:0
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My sympathies on your loss and the trouble you've had conceiving your second child. Both are terrible things to suffer!
The only true thing that your doctor said was that miscarriages are common, especially early miscarriages, but that doesn't make the loss of a wanted child any easier to bear. And the very fact that early miscarriages are so sadly common is proof that it is not about your weight.
Not all doctors are like this. My OB/GYN was almost in tears when she told me that my HCG levels weren't rising properly in my first pregnancy and that I was likely to miscarry. (I did lose that child, and have suffered secondary infertility ever since having my son 10 years ago. No medical reason's been found, and I've never been larger than a size 4 in all that time... really, it's not about weight!)0 -
250 Calories a day? He should be sued for malpractice and have his medical license revoked. I'm sorry this whole situation happened to you0
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I know someone needs a kick in the pants - and it is not OP!0
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I'm sorry, but did you even bother reading the OP all the way through before posting?
Yes, I read it in its entirety. Can you tell me what you think I missed?
I have tons of compassion for people and their children so if you think I don't you are mistaken. What I don't have compassion for is excuses when it comes to weight loss. I speak from experience, I can write you a book on excuses on why I don't have time or why its hard or doesn't fit my schedule. I have noticed that the MFP board is filled with excuses.
My intentions were not to be harsh related to the miscarraige and I would never do that. I was trying to be honest on about weight loss goals and what it takes to achieve those goals.0 -
I didn't misunderstand. He said 1 frozen dinner a day. No I didn't tell him I'd just started counting calories. I didn't really think about that at the time. There were other things on my mind. Not sure where my profile is full of excuses, unless you think me working is an excuse. However, I'm tired of apologizing to people like you. This year is different. I am on track. I do eat a lot of frozen dinners (I'm sure the doc wouldn't be so proud at how many), but I never cut it down to 250 calories. I am honest with myself. I knew then that I was overweight. I know now, and I know and have always known exactly what to do to fix it. I wanted to get it out and I appreciate every single bit of support (not looking for pitty). Thanks for the kick, but I've been kicked enough. From now on, I kick back.0
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February of 2012 I should have been celebrating my 29th birthday and Valentine's Day, but instead I was going through the most heartbreaking thing to have ever happened to me. I wan't feeling well so I went to the Doctor for an antibiotic. The next day he called. I was pumping gas and he told me to sit down. I did and he said, "Congrats! You're Pregnant!" Already having a 4-year-old, my husband and I had been trying since about 3 months after he birth to get pregnant again. It just never seemed to happen. I was elated!! He said the pregnancy hormone was so low I must have come to him just 6 or 7 days pregnant. I immediately made an appointment with the OBGYN. I know people don't usually go for 3 months but I'm overcautious so I told them about my HBP in my first pregnancy to get me in early.
I went for my appt. and he assured me I was pregnant. He said the numbers were kind of low so com back in a few days because the number should double daily. Three days later I went back. My husband and I waited for the results nervously. The doctor returned and said, "The numbers are so low, you must be having a miscarriage. It's no big deal. Just about everyone has them." The lump in my throat grew and the tears began to well. The Doctor said, "You know you probably won't be able to have kids, because you're so big. How many calories do you usually eat?" I had just started a diet, and although those words felt like a truck just smashed into my chest, I muttered, "1500." "Well that's too much for you. If you ever want to lose that fat and have a baby, you're going to have to commit to eating a lean cuisine everyday. 250 calories should do you, since what you're doing isn't working. I'll call in some Phentermine for you so it'll help you not eat."
That day my husband and I struggled to stand and make it home. We laid in bed crying for the day. It seemed like an eternity. My heart was broken. My baby was gone and I was told it was because I was too fat. I've since gained 20 lbs. This time I'm getting my life back. I'm taking control. I'm ready to face the fact that I'm overweight and do something about it. I'm finally over what that Doctor said to me and I'm going to use it for motivation. He's an idiot who made me feel less than human, and 2 feet tall in front of my husband, who wants another child as much as I do. I have more than 100 lbs to lose and it's getting done this year. I've wanted to write this down forever it seems. Thanks for reading if you did.
that doctor was full of ****! and he had no right to talk to you like that.
You'll learn the RIGHT way to lose the weight here on MFP, and you will do it. If your weight was an issue, you would not have conceived at all. My youngest son was conceived after I lost 20lbs on Atkins--after 16 months of not using birth control. I was still a good 40lbs overweight at that time0 -
I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c and the ahole doctor who made it worse! I imagine a m/c is especially painful when you've been ttc for so long. I have a 3 year old and it took us years to get pg. I have PCOS which made it especially difficult to lose weight, and when your cycles are 50 days, you have even less opportunity to get pregnant. Anyway, I had a great group of people to support me and I lost the weight and had normal cycles. Then DH had surgery to correct an issue with him, and we finally got pregnant. We're going to try for #2 soon, and I'm trying to get back down to my pre-pg weight since I didn't lose it all after my daughter was born. Add me if you want support in your weight loss, or ttc journey! (hugs)0
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If you have seen a doctor that gave you a medical opinion that you should adopt a 250cal diet... I think that should be reported as he may be unfit to give care. I would consider it a wonderful civic service on your part for flagging such behaviour.
Wow I'm sorry you had that kinda experience. I'd follow what this guy said.0 -
Crying here for you ((((((((hugs))))))))))))So sorry.
I lost a baby too. Its devistating. I was not very over weight when it happened to me. We just never really know the reason this happens. I just assumed something was wrong or the pregnany would have lasted. And it does not help to hear someone say that you can try again and have another baby. We wanted THIS baby!
As for your doc, wow, what can be said about an insensitive bloke like that? (to say the least)
Best wishes to you dear. You are a strong young woman and great things are going to happen for you! I know, because you are going to MAKE them happen. You have a terreific attitide!0 -
I didn't misunderstand. He said 1 frozen dinner a day. No I didn't tell him I'd just started counting calories. I didn't really think about that at the time. There were other things on my mind. Not sure where my profile is full of excuses, unless you think me working is an excuse. However, I'm tired of apologizing to people like you. This year is different. I am on track. I do eat a lot of frozen dinners (I'm sure the doc wouldn't be so proud at how many), but I never cut it down to 250 calories. I am honest with myself. I knew then that I was overweight. I know now, and I know and have always known exactly what to do to fix it. I wanted to get it out and I appreciate every single bit of support (not looking for pitty). Thanks for the kick, but I've been kicked enough. From now on, I kick back.
Get it girl!0 -
Pretty much all of it. Your post was unnecessarily mean.
I'm sorry, but did you even bother reading the OP all the way through before posting?
Yes, I read it in its entirety. Can you tell me what you think I missed?0 -
i had a miscarriage and the physician's assistant said i was "so cute" for crying. i should have punched her in the face, then i wouldn't have looked so cute for crying! :glasses:
Cute? That's terrible! I'm so sorry for that. There's nothing like that horrible feeling and my heart goes out to everyone who carried that precious baby longer than I did before they lost him/her. I cannot imagine.0 -
I hope you a new a doctor0
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I"m sorry for your loss. but I hope you didnt believe him & take responsiblity for the miscarriage.
your responsbility is to love yourself, you husband & baby & take care of yourself. you need to be healthy for what you have & what you want. Create a happy & healthy life. what ever else happens, happens & I hope for you it is another child.0 -
i had a miscarriage and the physician's assistant said i was "so cute" for crying. i should have punched her in the face, then i wouldn't have looked so cute for crying! :glasses:
That's horrible! I had a similar situation this summer when my dad was dying. I had to break the news to him (with the doc) that he wasn't going to get better and he was going to pass away. I was crying (obviously heartbroken) and the nurse had the nerve to say to me that I was being selfish for crying and that I should stop being so selfish. I was totally stunned and didn't know what to say, but if I could do it all over again I probably would punch her...
OP, sorry for you loss and I hope that you have the motiviation to get healthier and have a baby soon. I am in the same boat of trying to lose weight to get pregnant. Good luck on your journey :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh honey, I got tears reading this. I am so sorry for your loss. I commend you for taking the first step towards better health and a bigger family. Good luck on your journey hun.0
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