how do you deal when people try to sabotage you ?

crystalrose1234

i live close to my parents and my mother has tried everything in her power to get me to lose weight shes tried giving me tae bo tapes ( how retro is that?) shes told me about exercise routines you name it but as time wore on and i wasnt getting the results SHE wanted from me she resorted to drastic measures she has invited over my brothers skinny friends and invited me over as well so ill feel insignificant next to them, she has pressured me into restrictive diet after restrictive diet and has all but demanded i try the recent crash diet shes wetting herself over.. now i've found a meal plan that works and i have confidence in myself for the first time ever and shes trying to sabotage me again by saying i cant eat fruit when every diet shes ever given me ever says i can..
and that ill have to do dozens or crunches a day because running on a tredmill wont give me abs according to her... im realy close to my family and i don't want to have to cut ties with them for me to succeed in my efforts to lose the weight i've been carrying around for years but how can i do that when i have someone giving me unsolicited fitness advice and telling me to weigh my food or use a measuring cup to does out my food before i eat it? i know it sounds like im whining and im sorry if i offended anyone i didn't mean to if anyone out there has any advice about this it would be greatly appreciated thank you very much

Acg67

i live close to my parents and my mother has tried everything in her power to get me to lose weight shes tried giving me tae bo tapes ( how retro is that?) shes told me about exercise routines you name it but as time wore on and i wasnt getting the results SHE wanted from me she resorted to drastic measures she has invited over my brothers skinny friends and invited me over as well so ill feel insignificant next to them, she has pressured me into restrictive diet after restrictive diet and has all but demanded i try the recent crash diet shes wetting herself over.. now i've found a meal plan that works and i have confidence in myself for the first time ever and shes trying to sabotage me again by saying i cant eat fruit when every diet shes ever given me ever says i can..
and that ill have to do dozens or crunches a day because running on a tredmill wont give me abs according to her... im realy close to my family and i don't want to have to cut ties with them for me to succeed in my efforts to lose the weight i've been carrying around for years but how can i do that when i have someone giving me unsolicited fitness advice and telling me to weigh my food or use a measuring cup to does out my food before i eat it? i know it sounds like im whining and im sorry if i offended anyone i didn't mean to if anyone out there has any advice about this it would be greatly appreciated thank you very much

Stop being weak, only weak people allow themselves to be sabotaged

SideSteel

Tell her that you're 27 years old and as such, you're old enough to ask for help when you want it without her telling you what to do.

Beyond that, if you don't like her advice then don't take it.

Lastly, she's not forcing you to do anything. Calling this "sabotage" is quite extreme.

crystalrose1234

yes in fact she is, she pushes me and then harps at me when i fail she dosnt trust me enough to do this on my own..

lsmsrbls

That's a really difficult situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it!

I'm not sure what the best advice is, but I know I wouldn't enjoy constantly hearing about how I'm doing everything wrong (especially when I think I'm on track!). The next time she criticizes your food or exercise choices, I would say, "Thank you for your concern, but this is all part of the plan that I'm working on! I like what I'm doing." Then the next time she says something, "Mom, I already told you that I'm happy with what I'm doing. Please don't give me any more advice. If you keep giving me unwanted advice, I'm going to leave the room." And then leave whenever she brings it up again.

Hopefully, eventually she'll get the point and stop badgering you. If not, at least you'll be in another room and won't have to hear about it.

Good luck!

IronDame

I punch them in the throat and continue on with my day.

SideSteel

yes in fact she is, she pushes me and then harps at me when i fail she dosnt trust me enough to do this on my own..

Is she tackling you when a piece of fruit approaches your mouth? Is she taking food off of your plate and measuring it for you?

ZombieChaser

"Listen, smile, nod, and agree. Then, go do whatever the fvck you were gonna do anyway." Robert Downey Jr.

Seriously, you're 27 - go, be free and live for YOU. Question is, do YOU know that you can do it without mum? I know you can

sunsnstatheart

You're way too old to be blaming your mother for your problems. The only way she can sabotage you is if you allow her to do so. Stand up for yourself.

crystalrose1234

thanks zombiechaser and lsmsrbls you've both given me great advice i know im whining but i felt like i had to get this off my chest thank you all for listening

nalia08

You may have to cut your mother off for awhile until you have the courage to tell her to put a sock in it. She will only continue to make matters worst and be a hindrance to your success.

kbogati

just gonna throw in here that the tae bo works

Gramps251

I learned to ignore my mom when I was 10 years old. You're just a late bloomer.

joleciamichelle

I'm sorry but some of you are being extremely insensitive. Just because her mother isn't physically forcing food from her hands or "tackling her" doesn't mean that it is not sabotage and certainly isn't behavior that helps someone who struggles with their weight. If you don't have anything helpful or nice to say, move on. To the OP, I think the person that said just politely decline your mother's input is the best advice. Let her know that different things work for different people and you've found what works for you and you don't need her advice but you will ask her when you do. I know it's tough, I'm close with my mom and we both struggle with our weight and we just don't talk about it at all anymore. I hope you can come to a place where you can still have a good relationship with your family and continue to take care of yourself. Good luck!

MelStren

Move to another state.

Seriously, you are an adult. Tell her how you feel, ask her to stop and if she doesn't, then either learn to ignore her or move away.

Measuring your food before you eat it IS good advice though and it's recommended here all of the time. I measure and weigh everything that goes in my mouth.

And I have a friend that just LOVES tae bo... she does her billy blanks and I watch her and giggle between my sets and she thinks I'm crazy for lifting weights. Find what works for you and let the rest go.

supplemama

Hmmmm...you're 27. You are good and grown. Let her say her piece and say, Ok that's your opinion.

Leave it at that, and do what you want. No one can sabotage you unless YOU allow them to. You really do have control of yourself.

MrsBHobbs

Invite her to join MFP set up the app for her and let her begin research on weight loss through healthy goals, diet , and exercise. I have learned alot and I am sure your mother would as well. And if she doesn't it is not your problem you can not change people and the only person that you can change is yourself.

sjohnny

Tell your mom to get bent. If that fails, skull-crack her.

Take responsibility for yourself and do what you need to do to get where you want to be. It's all up to you and if you take control of your life you can do it.

PicklePlum

Stop being weak, only weak people allow themselves to be sabotaged

I like this quote.

NiSan12

I punch them in the throat and continue on with my day.

LIKE THIS ONE!

But seriously, I use their comment/negative thoughts as stepping stones, because only hurting people try to hurt people.
Pray for them and MOVE ON!