I realized something just now.
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You know what I used to feel like that all the time but now I go with confidence knowing that they may be thinking that stuff but you know what who gives a rats *kitten* i think to myself their just skinny *****es (pardon my language) who cares what they think i started to learn that I shouldn't worry about what people think its none of their business i used to have trouble going to the gym on my own now i prefer to go to the gym alone so i can get my work out done and not slack. You know whats even funnier is those skinny people that go to the gym most of them are all self conscious just like you so you may think their thinking you should be at home eating when in reality their thinking man that girl must really be trying hard. Here's an example my best friend is a very skinny girl ok she one of those that can eat whatever she wants and not gain an inch. but yet she's always saying she needs to lose weight because she what skinner in high school. in conclusion just go there to do your own thing and don't worry about everyone else, they are there for the same reason you are which is to WORK OUT!
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A friend of mine reports the same. To be honest I think some of it is a little paranoia because of her insecurity. I haven't ever felt that impacted by others and I am quite oblivious to those around me. I am there to work out and I remain totally focused on that. I just assume that others feel the same but I know there are some terrribly cruel people that enjoy making fun. I tell my friend if they have nothing better to do than watch you they are SURE to notice that you are dwindling in size right before their eyes! 0
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I've been on the creation end of this --- Kind of!
I don't think bad things about people who are in the gym, walking around the block, whatever it is they are doing.
I get peeved when there are slow meanders of any size taking up valuable sweat space, and are not considerate enough to move out of the faster person's track.
Even when I'm jogging on a side walk, if i see someone coming up behind me, obviously going faster, i jog in the grass so I don't ruin their pace. Or if they're coming at me head on, if they're going faster --- good for them. I'm moving my slow *kitten* out of the way...
But when someone else I encounter is going slower than me, I give them plenty of dirty looks if I'm the one that has to sacrifice my work out because they are too lazy to move.
So I guess it's different, but in my mind they're kind of the same thing.0 -
"I can just tell..."
You use your ESPN to pick up those signals, eh?
/sarcasm
Just kidding, but do realize that this is 98% in your head. And while the other 2% may not be in your head, it's a small enough percentage to be statistically irrelevant... :drinker:0 -
When I was lot heavier at the gym I caught a girl watching me. I felt very self conscious and a little upset by it... She later approached me and said I just wanted to say I was watching you work out and I think your incredible... Totally unstoppable. You inspired me. I was very taken aback... Very different to what I thought she was thinking. It changed my whole perception on people watching me... Maybe they are thinking wow I wish I could work out like that! X0
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I think that in most situations you can look around and see that as much as you might wish you looked like someone you see who is skinnier, prettier, etc, there are as many people looking at you and thinking the same thing...they wish they were YOUR size. When you see how many of us are different in size, whether it is weight, height, proportion or whatever, 90% of the time there is someone else who looked at you and said 'man, if I were just that size things would be better'.
And what everyone else said, most people are centered on themselves and not you. 0 -
I think everyone goes through this at some point or another, even people who aren't particularly fat. When I first started running I was terrified of anyone looking through the gym windows and seeing how awful I was. I'd even put the weights at higher settings before I left in case some psychic sauntered in and saw that a n00b had been here.
Then again, I used to be a right c-nt in the worst parts of my eating disorder and judge anyone over 100lb, so yeah, there are going to be losers looking at you, but who cares? They didn't pop out the womb able to lift 300 or run 10k. Fukc em. c:0 -
i agree with someone that said it might b in your head. at least i used to think the same thing u think. but then, when i think about it, I dont think that about other people. maybe we truly are our worst critics. Anways dont give up!0
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Not really sure what you mean by "doing right" but here's a little insight you'll discover when you become fit and seeing someone who is beginning their exercise journey at the gym....
First a little back story, at my heaviest I was 235 lbs (5'10"). I started walking until I reached 205. Eventually, I began working out at my apartment complex's gym (I've never worked out at a large gym so this experience may not apply). When I was 205-210, I often noticed that those that were fit often would notice me while on the treadmill as well as while weightlifting. Mind you, at 43 yrs old, I really dont care what others are thinking, but it was always a strange feeling. I would ask my trainer and he would tell me that people will sometimes watch someone lift weights in order to get new exercise ideas, watch to see if they are using correct form, etc.
When asked why they notice me walking over to the treadmill, he told me "You'll discover why when you become fit and get closer to your goals."
Jump ahead 6 months, I have reached my "goal weight" (I state it at 165 just in case I continue to lose weight, I am not trying to, but if I do it's no big deal). In walks someone as you described earlier. He's about 5'8", just beginning his exercise journey (He's wearing a matching exercise outfit, sweatbands on his forehead and wrists) weighs around 260-300 lbs and nervously walks up to the treadmill. Takes about 5 minutes to set his towel on the arm handle and program the machine. All this while nervously looking around, After a little while, the treadmill slowly increases in speed and he begins his walking/jogging routine.
During all of this, I was sitting between sets on a chest press machine (I know, taking an extended rest) and I remembered myself asking my trainer why it felt that others were watching me while I got onto the treadmill while being vastly overweight.
Then it dawned on me, was I thinking "Hey tubbo, shouldn't you be back on the couch eating twinkies?" or "Hey fattie, didn't anyone ever tell you that gyms are for fit people?"
NOT IN THE LEAST! NOT FOR A SECOND DID I THINK THAT!
It made me remember when I first began exercising, not having a clue as to what I was doing. It made me remember when I thought that everyone was watching me while using the treadmill. Now guess what I was thinking and wanting to say to that overweight, unhealthy gentlemen on the treadmill (those of us that are fit already know what I'm about to say).
I thought:
Congratulations!
Good for you!!
You've finally had enough of being overweight and are doing something about it!
We've all been there when beginning exercising for the first time!
(etc).
What people that are overweight and out of shape dont realize when they enter the gym that those of us that notice them, notice them because we all remember when we first began. They remind us to not give up when we feel like quitting (or making excuses not to exercise).
As he was finishing his time on the treadmill and walking out of the gym, I smiled, walked over to him and said "Dont worry about the others here in the gym. We all remember how nervous we felt while first working out. Over time, the nervousness goes away. If you ever decide to lift weights, feel free to ask me what exercises are good to start with and I'll be more than happy to show you some exercises as well as steer you towards the personal trainer that I used when first lifting weights."
My point is, please dont feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about how you look in the gym. The point is that you are in the gym to exercise and gain the benefits from doing so. If you are just starting out and are very overweight, you'll be an inspiration to those of us that are further along in our journey. In time, as you become healthier, when you see an overweight beginner in the gym, you'll "flashback" to when you first began exercising and perhaps they'll inspire you to continue on your journey.0 -
wait until you lose enough weight that they start brining you in on the jokes and you get the wake up call that it wasn't in your head, they are really talking about you. This has happened to me several times now that I'm getting thinner and frankly I never imagined it as ugly as it really is.0
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I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.
This^^^ People only think about me when I show up to their house with a badge.0 -
Well, here's what I used to tell my kids. The people who care don't matter, and the people who matter don't care. 8-) Lift heavy, sister.0
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You're being oversensitive. I've never thought that about an overweight person at the gym. I always think "Good for them!"0
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That's because you're 19 years old.
There's a gold age which starts somewhere between 25 and 35 where you stop caring and do things for yourself.
Then comes the dark age, when you hit 70, and you don't care about anything at all anymore, and you walk around my locker room at the Y with your knee-length old-man-sac swinging around the room trying to talk about the weather like your gibblies aren't on display.
HIlarious!!!! You made my day.0 -
Not really sure what you mean by "doing right" but here's a little insight you'll discover when you become fit and seeing someone who is beginning their exercise journey at the gym....
First a little back story, at my heaviest I was 235 lbs (5'10"). I started walking until I reached 205. Eventually, I began working out at my apartment complex's gym (I've never worked out at a large gym so this experience may not apply). When I was 205-210, I often noticed that those that were fit often would notice me while on the treadmill as well as while weightlifting. Mind you, at 43 yrs old, I really dont care what others are thinking, but it was always a strange feeling. I would ask my trainer and he would tell me that people will sometimes watch someone lift weights in order to get new exercise ideas, watch to see if they are using correct form, etc.
When asked why they notice me walking over to the treadmill, he told me "You'll discover why when you become fit and get closer to your goals."
Jump ahead 6 months, I have reached my "goal weight" (I state it at 165 just in case I continue to lose weight, I am not trying to, but if I do it's no big deal). In walks someone as you described earlier. He's about 5'8", just beginning his exercise journey (He's wearing a matching exercise outfit, sweatbands on his forehead and wrists) weighs around 260-300 lbs and nervously walks up to the treadmill. Takes about 5 minutes to set his towel on the arm handle and program the machine. All this while nervously looking around, After a little while, the treadmill slowly increases in speed and he begins his walking/jogging routine.
During all of this, I was sitting between sets on a chest press machine (I know, taking an extended rest) and I remembered myself asking my trainer why it felt that others were watching me while I got onto the treadmill while being vastly overweight.
Then it dawned on me, was I thinking "Hey tubbo, shouldn't you be back on the couch eating twinkies?" or "Hey fattie, didn't anyone ever tell you that gyms are for fit people?"
NOT IN THE LEAST! NOT FOR A SECOND DID I THINK THAT!
It made me remember when I first began exercising, not having a clue as to what I was doing. It made me remember when I thought that everyone was watching me while using the treadmill. Now guess what I was thinking and wanting to say to that overweight, unhealthy gentlemen on the treadmill (those of us that are fit already know what I'm about to say).
I thought:
Congratulations!
Good for you!!
You've finally had enough of being overweight and are doing something about it!
We've all been there when beginning exercising for the first time!
(etc).
What people that are overweight and out of shape dont realize when they enter the gym that those of us that notice them, notice them because we all remember when we first began. They remind us to not give up when we feel like quitting (or making excuses not to exercise).
As he was finishing his time on the treadmill and walking out of the gym, I smiled, walked over to him and said "Dont worry about the others here in the gym. We all remember how nervous we felt while first working out. Over time, the nervousness goes away. If you ever decide to lift weights, feel free to ask me what exercises are good to start with and I'll be more than happy to show you some exercises as well as steer you towards the personal trainer that I used when first lifting weights."
My point is, please dont feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about how you look in the gym. The point is that you are in the gym to exercise and gain the benefits from doing so. If you are just starting out and are very overweight, you'll be an inspiration to those of us that are further along in our journey. In time, as you become healthier, when you see an overweight beginner in the gym, you'll "flashback" to when you first began exercising and perhaps they'll inspire you to continue on your journey.
QFT Mathguy1. What an awesome story.0 -
I wish everybody, not just "fat" people, would stop judging "skinny" people! This post in of itself is judgemental of "skinny" people.
I get dirty looks everyday because people THINK I'm a "skinny" person. They call me "skinny". I HATE HATE HATE that word! Because I'm not a "skinny" girl. I will ALWAYS be that "fat" girl in 9th grade that wanted so desperately to lose the weight. But, when you look at me and judge me based on appearances, you don't know that.
So it goes both ways...don't be so quick to judge based on appearances. You know my name, not my story...0 -
yeah, totally feel judged by 110 pound girls who barely break a sweat at the gym. sucks
The funny thing is, the 100 pound girls you're talking about are probably in worse shape than you are. They're just skinny so it's "okay"
HA HA...so you are judging the thin girls
classic
Me? No. But seeing as how 110 lbs is only a healthy weight for women 5'4" and under, the chances of them being unhealthy/not fit are....moderately high.0 -
AT the root of it all I think we're all self conscious and project our worst fears onto how other people see us. Work towards your goal and where you will be happy and then...forget the rest of them. They really don't matter.
Does anyone want to attack me for saying we're all self conscious, because YOU are not? It seems like it's been one of those days. lol0 -
I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.
Wow, really? Since when is anxiety a form of psychosis?
Edit: Okay I looked it up, there is a form of anxiety so severe it can become psychosis. But the OP seems quite far from that point!0 -
the best thing I ever heard is "What people think of you is none of your business"
and its true! the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself.
But you are right, when I was at my heaviest I was judged A LOT and now that I'm half that size I get judged by the heavier people who knew me when I was heavy.0 -
Oh I do think people are looking at you. I am a bartender and my customers feel completely at ease telling me how fat I am or am not on a regular basis (like everyday). I agree with you and don't think it's in your head.0
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Oh I do think people are looking at you. I am a bartender and my customers feel completely at ease telling me how fat I am or am not on a regular basis (like everyday). I agree with you and don't think it's in your head.
are they drunk when they tell you that?0 -
I wish everybody, not just "fat" people, would stop judging "skinny" people! This post in of itself is judgemental of "skinny" people.
I get dirty looks everyday because people THINK I'm a "skinny" person. They call me "skinny". I HATE HATE HATE that word! Because I'm not a "skinny" girl. I will ALWAYS be that "fat" girl in 9th grade that wanted so desperately to lose the weight. But, when you look at me and judge me based on appearances, you don't know that.
So it goes both ways...don't be so quick to judge based on appearances. You know my name, not my story...
Okay, right but your entire profile is pictures of yourself in few clothes. You obviously are saying "Here's my body for you to look at." I doubt many fat people are doing that. Have you ever been denied employment because of your weight? I have. I have been lots of weights and have had the same resumes and even people who don't remember meeting me treat me differently. So many people say, "Oh I wish I was skinny!" Have you ever heard anyone say, "Oh I wish I was fat?" Probably not nearly as often. I'm not saying no one has an issue with skinny people but I don't think it's a pervasive cultural norm that is used to discriminate against and exclude people like it is with fat people. Just saying from someone who's been both...0 -
People are not thinking about you as much as you think. I know I don't go around thinking about what others should do or not do.
This^^0 -
Doesn't it kind of seem like "fat" people can't do anything right by some "skinny" people?
Like, when I work out in front of skinny people, I can just tell some of them are thinking, "What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at home eating Twinkies and watching Oprah?"
I feel the same thing when I go to a restaurant and order healthy, or go to the store and buy healthy things. Shouldn't people be thinking, "Wow, good for her!"
I dunno. That was just a random thought. Maybe that's just the social anxiety talking
Also, this isn't all skinny people. Just some people.
I think that's awesome that you can read minds. You could be a superhero! :flowerforyou:0 -
From my POV I think "Good for her." I've only gotten overweight the past 5 years...slowly but surely but I've always been inspired by people who are working at getting healthy with diet and exercise. Sure it's easy for someone with a good metabolism to stay thin, thin doesn't mean healthy or "in shape". I know many people heavier than me that are much healthier and stronger and more flexible. I've only recently started working at it and I've got friends on here who are in the "morbidly obese" category who put me to shame with their daily workouts. THEY INSPIRE ME. I hope nobody at the gym looks at me and thinks I'd pass judgement on them based on their appearance (even if they are in perfect hair & makeup walking liesurely on the treadmill). I don't know you, I don't know your fitness level or your physical struggles so I'll bust my own *kitten* (or not depending on my mood) and let you do your own thing in your own way in your own time.0
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I'd guess most people aren't really paying attention to you. My coworkers wouldn't be able to say what I was wearing yesterday, and they see me five days a week. Random thoughts may briefly flit across people's minds, but as long as they don't say it, it doesn't matter.
Now, if some random stranger* feels a need to comment on your appearance...well, they have bigger problems than whatever your appearance happens to be, even if you are John Merrick** come back to life.
*well, at least the ones who are 10+ years old...kids don't have filters and likely either don't mean anything by it or are parroting their parents. My daughter once looked at a lady in a nice black dress at the grocery store and screamed, "MOMMY, THERE'S A WITCH!"
**The Elephant Man0
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