Troll thread

BurtHuttz
BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hellow my fitness pals.

I was reading some early scholarship by Doctor Oz (before he had his TV show) and he had written something about using "troll thread" for weight loss.

I don't know if it's sort of like a way to measure yourself around the waist, or if troll thread is some sort of twine that you wrap around your food, but he had said something about "scientifically proven weight loss technique." Does anyone know what this weight loss string stuff is? Does it come on spools, or no?
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Replies

  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    no no, you see

    EVERYONE has a troll thread somewhere on their bodies.

    The trick is to FIND the troll thread, and pull on it.

    You have to pull it gently, but firmly, with even pressure. You pull and pull and

    eventually the fat just unravels off. Just like that.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
    no no, you see

    EVERYONE has a troll thread somewhere on their bodies.

    The trick is to FIND the troll thread, and pull on it.

    You have to pull it gently, but firmly, with even pressure. You pull and pull and

    eventually the fat just unravels off. Just like that.

    Yes, this! But you have to be very careful not to pull too hard, or it will pull back, this is called the yoyo effect and is to be avoided at all cost.
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
    Weight loss string is used in cave exercises. You tie a chicken leg the end of string and one person runs dragging the chicken by a string through a cave while the other person chases. If the person chasing catches up and is able to grab the chicken leg, he is allowed to eat it as a reward. Unfortunately most people end up getting lost in the cave and cant find their way back out of the caves and die of starvation.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    eventually the fat just unravels off. Just like that.
    That seems ridiculous. I feel like we would've heard about it by now. How is it that only Dr Oz knows this stuff?
    Also, and clues how to find the troll thread? If I had to guess, it's probably that damn huge thick black hair that grows on my forearm looking like an oak tree in a grassy plain? I keep plucking it but not losing weight; suppose I need to just tug a little daily.
    Yes, this! But you have to be very careful not to pull too hard, or it will pull back, this is called the yoyo effect and is to be avoided at all cost.
    I always thought yo-yo dieting meant something else. This is so cool to finally learn some new facts!!
    Weight loss string is used in cave exercises. You tie a chicken leg the end of string and one person runs dragging the chicken by a string through a cave while the other person chases. If the person chasing catches up and is able to grab the chicken leg, he is allowed to eat it as a reward. Unfortunately most people end up getting lost in the cave and cant find their way back out of the caves and die of starvation.
    So, too much of a good thing, then; my friends on here keep telling me to be more patient and weight loss is a slow thing, I guess if you go too fast you can end up a guano-eating spelunker.
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member

    So, too much of a good thing, then; my friends on here keep telling me to be more patient and weight loss is a slow thing, I guess if you go too fast you can end up a guano-eating spelunker.
    Yes but guano is actually good for obtaining the elusive thigh gap that some women long for.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
    Unfortunately most people end up getting lost in the cave and cant find their way back out of the caves and die of starvation.

    Which is another frequently quoted problem, the starvation mode.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member

    So, too much of a good thing, then; my friends on here keep telling me to be more patient and weight loss is a slow thing, I guess if you go too fast you can end up a guano-eating spelunker.
    Yes but guano is actually good for obtaining the elusive thigh gap that some women long for.

    I thought that comes from eating the thighs of the aforementioned chicken??? Damn!
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    A serious troll thread? Head just exploded
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
    A serious troll thread? Head just exploded
    It sounds like you might be over training dude. You might want to scale back
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    scholarship by Doctor Oz

    lulz
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I thought that comes from eating the thighs of the aforementioned chicken??? Damn!
    Weird; I would imagine that a thigh gap would be where you can't get ENOUGH thighs in your diet and for some reason the lack causes weight gain?
    Which is another frequently quoted problem, the starvation mode.
    I'm so glad I started this thread. I misunderstood everything!
    A serious troll thread? Head just exploded
    Wait, side effects include brain aneurism?
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    Boxxy_Troll_Thread.PNG
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else
    Yes, all people who are serious come into the Chit Chat and Fun forum section.
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    We're all here for the same reason.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    31410553.jpg
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else

    . . . but I've devoted my whole life to helping people! Has it all been a lie? Has everything I've wrought been for naught? Unhelpfulness? Non-fitness? Unfitness? ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM UNFIT FOR DUTY DOCTOR MERC?
  • DeeDel32
    DeeDel32 Posts: 542 Member
    Dr Oz is dreamy...:flowerforyou:
  • Blastastic
    Blastastic Posts: 280 Member
    In the land of MFP there are no trolls! only munchkins and the great powerful OZ
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    In the land of MFP there are no trolls! only munchkins and the great powerful OZ

    He's a smart and handsome man.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    Here I am...deciding that I'm in a crabby mood so I'll visit this troll thread just to release some pent-up angst - and I ended up actually LEARNING something!!!

    You guys should be seriously ashamed of yourself!

    Now I know about a bunch of new terms and definitions, and have to reevaluate everything I've ever known about fitness - and find a cave. I live in mid-Michingan. Do you know how hard caves are to find up here!?!!?
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Dr Oz is dreamy...:flowerforyou:
    I think you mean nightmarish :sick:
  • mlclarke22
    mlclarke22 Posts: 551 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else
    Yes, all people who are serious come into the Chit Chat and Fun forum section.
    yes the seriously bored in need of a little amusement!! :laugh:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Stop making fun you guys. It works! I lost 47 pounds so far using troll threads
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else

    I agree. I don't usually come to the forums because people are so mean and unsupportive.

    Now excuse me while I go eat breakfast; I don't want to go into starvation mode.
  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Toasting In A Roll Bread
  • DeeDel32
    DeeDel32 Posts: 542 Member
    Dr Oz is dreamy...:flowerforyou:
    I think you mean nightmarish :sick:

    Whenever he talks about raspberry ketones or green coffee beans, I get a tingle up my spine. :love:
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Whenever he talks about raspberry ketones or green coffee beans, I get a tingle up my spine. :love:

    What I really like about Dr Oz is that he has just enough of an accent to seem exotic without seeming too threatening or foreign! Definitely a guy you can trust!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Whenever he talks about raspberry ketones or green coffee beans, I get a tingle up my spine. :love:

    What I really like about Dr Oz is that he has just enough of an accent to seem exotic without seeming too threatening or foreign! Definitely a guy you can trust!

    I like his purple gloves
  • xiofett
    xiofett Posts: 138 Member
    Threads like this help nobody. This is a serious fitness website and this is serious business. Go troll somewhere else

    srus.jpg

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