Self defense for exercise and a life skill
MizTerry
Posts: 3,763 Member
I saw a post or two earlier today that have really bothered me. Two women had been victims of verbal abuse. I am a past victim of violence, so this is a personal issue for me. Not trying to be preachy, but domestic violence of women and men begins with verbal abuse. I read a stat a while back that said one in five households has CDV activity. Today, I see it's one in every four women. I personally do Taekwondo firstly for exercise, but as a life-skill as well. If you can't afford some form of self defense, contact your local recreation department or police department. I have also attached a quick video of some forms of self defense. Hopefully NO ONE on here needs this, but in the event someone does, here it is.
http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW
Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:
http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW
Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:
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Replies
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i second this!
Women learning self defense is invaluable.
I trained in martial arts for years, during which time I didn't watch TV. At some point, I was somehwere watching TV and noticed all the scenes of women being attacked where there were so many ways the woman could defend herself but didn't. We are portrayed as helpless and I honestly think that we internalize that stuff. Training gave me a new way of thinking and being and I'll never be that girl I see on TV holding the wrists of a man who is strangling me, begging him to stop with what little breath I have left. I'll be gouging his eyeballs out of his face that is well within my reach
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I agree!! Thanks for sharing! :flowerforyou:0
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I also do Tae Kwon Do and in our class we do weapon work as well as self defence. I love martial arts because it helps me to feel strong both in mind and body.0
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i second this!
Women learning self defense is invaluable.
I trained in martial arts for years, during which time I didn't watch TV. At some point, I was somehwere watching TV and noticed all the scenes of women being attacked where there were so many ways the woman could defend herself but didn't. We are portrayed as helpless and I honestly think that we internalize that stuff. Training gave me a new way of thinking and being and I'll never be that girl I see on TV holding the wrists of a man who is strangling me, begging him to stop with what little breath I have left. I'll be gouging his eyeballs out of his face that is well within my reach
I used to tell my girls if you can move a body part, use it. If there's something within grasp, use it.0 -
Martial arts in general is great but when someone is caught in a nasty situation (abuse, mugging etc) I'd suggest Krav Maga.
KM is designed to prepare people for the most brutal and vicious confrontations. With its no-nonsense approach and straightforward practical moves, KM prepares people for the unexpected with techniques that can be utilized effectively under pressure.0 -
3 of my 4 children all do JuJitsu, The eldest is 2nd Dan, and the 2 others are Black belts, They originally started going because my eldest was being bullied at school. That soon stopped when they found out his skill.
My 14 year old daughter (one of the 2 black belts) is often used as role model for the other girls starting there with the sensei there asking my daughter to throw the bigger and taller people - showing others size does not matter... and all 3 of them coach it. As well as it being a self-defence, its also a great confidence builder.0 -
Me and my older two are in taekwondo. I have a friend that owns a BJJ studio that does free women's self defense classes two times a month.0
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I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.
I was held captive, tortured and raped in my own home by a man I knew, trusted and loved. The vast majority of violence against women occurs in their own by people they know (I'll google up some stats if needed). Would self-defense have helped me? Highly doubtful. The man who assaulted me broke into my home, and had my arms restrained before I woke up. Even at that point, I was not in fear as I knew and trusted and loved this man and never dreamed of the harm he was capable of inflicting.
I did fight back when I knew things were going bad. I kicked and kneed him in the groin and bit his hand-and felt guilty inflicting pain on someone I loved and cared about. I don't know that I could have done more, even with my life in danger as it was very different (to me) than fighting off a stranger about who's well-being i don't care. My attempts to fight him off earned me a gash across my abdomen, several burns and a bite in my breast (that was just the beginning).
Anyway, I, like most assault victims, struggled for years and years with feeling responsible for the assault, and plagued myself with "if I'd only..." thoughts. The truth is that there isn't a thing I could have done. Implying that self-defense classes can absolutely prevent or save someone from attack gives victims yet another reason to blame themselves.
Could it help? Sure. Will it help? That really depends on a lot of things.
Again-not dissing self-defense training. Just putting out another side.0 -
Just a suggestion for any women who are interested in self-defense: Find somewhere that offers a RAD (Rape Agression Defense) course. It teaches women many different types of self-defense, not just in the case of Rape.0
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Just a suggestion for any women who are interested in self-defense: Find somewhere that offers a RAD (Rape Agression Defense) course. It teaches women many different types of self-defense, not just in the case of Rape.
I took this one also.0 -
I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.
I was held captive, tortured and raped in my own home by a man I knew, trusted and loved. The vast majority of violence against women occurs in their own by people they know (I'll google up some stats if needed). Would self-defense have helped me? Highly doubtful. The man who assaulted me broke into my home, and had my arms restrained before I woke up. Even at that point, I was not in fear as I knew and trusted and loved this man and never dreamed of the harm he was capable of inflicting.
I did fight back when I knew things were going bad. I kicked and kneed him in the groin and bit his hand-and felt guilty inflicting pain on someone I loved and cared about. I don't know that I could have done more, even with my life in danger as it was very different (to me) than fighting off a stranger about who's well-being i don't care. My attempts to fight him off earned me a gash across my abdomen, several burns and a bite in my breast (that was just the beginning).
Anyway, I, like most assault victims, struggled for years and years with feeling responsible for the assault, and plagued myself with "if I'd only..." thoughts. The truth is that there isn't a thing I could have done. Implying that self-defense classes can absolutely prevent or save someone from attack gives victims yet another reason to blame themselves.
Could it help? Sure. Will it help? That really depends on a lot of things.
Again-not dissing self-defense training. Just putting out another side.
I understand. I'm very sorry you went through this. I was abused sexually and violently by my step father as a young child. I was not able to defend myself. I tried and it just got worse. I blamed myself also.
But, when I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by another person. I fought back. I was not able to stop the assault, but did end up getting away.
When I was 15 I was jumped and pinned to the ground and was being sexually assaulted by a strange man. I fought back and he ended up eventually realizing it was not worth it because I would not stop moving my body, kicking, fighting and shouting.
Also self defense was very empowering and healing for me after surviving the assaults that I did through out my entire life, since I was a very young child. It's not about victim blaming. There are many benefits to self-defense. And no, it is not always possible and does not always work.0 -
@traceyjj
That is most awesome. Self confidence is the most important "gift" that we can instill in our kids.
This is the best thing I have ever read here. Very very true
And vitaminddd--you are right, there are situations where self defense may not work, but self defense/martial arts have so many benefits, there's no reason really why NOT to do it. I am sorry you were in that situation but I am glad you are able to share because it could help others.0 -
First and foremost, I am in total agreement that every woman should learn self defense.
That being said, verbal abuse needs to be combated with self confidence and a high level of self esteem.
Abusers start out by slowly chipping away at that confidence and self esteem. ("What, you can't take a joke???")
If you are, or suspect someone is being verbally abused I would suggest getting out of the situation, developing a network of strong, supportive friends/family and counseling to learn to recognize the verbal abuse AND how to put a stop to it.
Verbal abuse can escalate to physical abuse - but by this time the abused person is so worn down or conditioned to believe that they some how deserve this.0 -
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KRAV MAGA and Muay Thai baby!!!! I get the best of both worlds....:)0
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Martial arts in general is great but when someone is caught in a nasty situation (abuse, mugging etc) I'd suggest Krav Maga.
KM is designed to prepare people for the most brutal and vicious confrontations. With its no-nonsense approach and straightforward practical moves, KM prepares people for the unexpected with techniques that can be utilized effectively under pressure.
^^This!!!0 -
I love to hate this place.0
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Again... I want to say Marry me, but you posted a Sig so...Oh well. :P0 -
Nice gun! Can't post mine yet (SR9C) and still waiting on CCW but hubby's got his and except for work, we do everything else together.
Pistol packin Hot Mama!0 -
@traceyjj
That is most awesome. Self confidence is the most important "gift" that we can instill in our kids.
This is the best thing I have ever read here. Very very true
And vitaminddd--you are right, there are situations where self defense may not work, but self defense/martial arts have so many benefits, there's no reason really why NOT to do it. I am sorry you were in that situation but I am glad you are able to share because it could help others.
Oh-I wholeheartedly agree with all of this (including the quote lol). Self defense has enormous benefits-I totally agree (including that it's probably very empowering like BinaryPulsar mentioned). I just read the initial post as a "make sure you take self defense training so you can save yourself from a domestic violence situation". I shared my story only as another side: self defense is great, but it may not save you. And although meant with the warmest heart, the initial post stirred my "you could have prevented this" thoughts and if any other survivors read this and felt the same stirrings, I just felt obliged to share that it wasn't my (or their) fault when it happened and it isn't now either.
Really-I think self defense is great-and there's no reason not to do it. Absolutely in agreement.0 -
I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.....(I edited out the rest of your comment for brievity, but I respond to the whole thing)......
You're not alone in that. And the emotional trauma that a survivor goes through and lives with is another battlefield. That's a different type of warriorism. No one blames you for not fighting back harder.
I have had experiences in which my training in self defense did indeed protect me. And I have had experiences where it did not. Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.
Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.0 -
I saw a post or two earlier today that have really bothered me. Two women had been victims of verbal abuse. I am a past victim of violence, so this is a personal issue for me. Not trying to be preachy, but domestic violence of women and men begins with verbal abuse. I read a stat a while back that said one in five households has CDV activity. Today, I see it's one in every four women. I personally do Taekwondo firstly for exercise, but as a life-skill as well. If you can't afford some form of self defense, contact your local recreation department or police department. I have also attached a quick video of some forms of self defense. Hopefully NO ONE on here needs this, but in the event someone does, here it is.
http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW
Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:
I wouldn't recommend trying to learn martial arts from a video or a book and especially no forms since most people wouldn't know how to apply them.. Those are usually the people who give the various arts a bad name.0 -
Thanks for sharing, Ladies!!
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I saw a post or two earlier today that have really bothered me. Two women had been victims of verbal abuse. I am a past victim of violence, so this is a personal issue for me. Not trying to be preachy, but domestic violence of women and men begins with verbal abuse. I read a stat a while back that said one in five households has CDV activity. Today, I see it's one in every four women. I personally do Taekwondo firstly for exercise, but as a life-skill as well. If you can't afford some form of self defense, contact your local recreation department or police department. I have also attached a quick video of some forms of self defense. Hopefully NO ONE on here needs this, but in the event someone does, here it is.
http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW
Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:
I wouldn't recommend trying to learn martial arts from a video or a book and especially no forms since most people wouldn't know how to apply them.. Those are usually the people who give the various arts a bad name.
I totally agree with this. Unless you experience getting grabbed or hit and knowing how to react (in a place where licensed instructors) know what they are doing i wouldn't waste time or money on it. But that's just my opinion.0 -
Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.
Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.
It's more that the very initial post stirred the "you could have..." feelings a bit. For me, I know that's horsesh!t. But I also know there are a lot of people that read these forums and have the good sense to not post in them. And if those feelings were stirred in me, they may have been stirred in a lurker who maybe doesn't yet believe that it's not their fault. I only wanted to present another side just in case it might help someone realize it really, really isn't their fault.
I do believe that self defense is great for all kinds of reasons. And I think we are all worth defending
Ok-I'm off to find a thigh-gap thread0 -
This is a good one: http://www.girlsfightback.com/0
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I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.
I was held captive, tortured and raped in my own home by a man I knew, trusted and loved. The vast majority of violence against women occurs in their own by people they know (I'll google up some stats if needed). Would self-defense have helped me? Highly doubtful. The man who assaulted me broke into my home, and had my arms restrained before I woke up. Even at that point, I was not in fear as I knew and trusted and loved this man and never dreamed of the harm he was capable of inflicting.
I did fight back when I knew things were going bad. I kicked and kneed him in the groin and bit his hand-and felt guilty inflicting pain on someone I loved and cared about. I don't know that I could have done more, even with my life in danger as it was very different (to me) than fighting off a stranger about who's well-being i don't care. My attempts to fight him off earned me a gash across my abdomen, several burns and a bite in my breast (that was just the beginning).
Anyway, I, like most assault victims, struggled for years and years with feeling responsible for the assault, and plagued myself with "if I'd only..." thoughts. The truth is that there isn't a thing I could have done. Implying that self-defense classes can absolutely prevent or save someone from attack gives victims yet another reason to blame themselves.
Could it help? Sure. Will it help? That really depends on a lot of things.
Again-not dissing self-defense training. Just putting out another side.
I'm saying self defense HELPS. I would rather go out with a fight like you did than to lay down and do nothing. You put a fight, that's the best you could do and you lived to tell the story. Attackers usually go after people that they think will not fight back. Most of the time if you get to kicking, screaming and punching, you will no longer we worth it. I prefer Krav Maga and Muay Thai b/c I do not like gun and I have my CHL. It's just something I enjoy doing for a workout and to have an option if an assault does occur. I hope you understand.0 -
I am glad to hear that you train in Martial Arts. I have been training for 43 years & hold the rank of 7th deg Blackbelt in Shaolin Kempo Karate, I also train in Gracie Jiu Jitsu. It is nice to see people take charge of there own personal welfare.
To many people do not think they will ever fall victim to a attack. In todays world to many things can happen. So keep on Kicking. Also I have a facebook account you are more welcome to like it is Master Morris Shaolin Kempo.
Take care
Osu
John Morris0 -
Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.
Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.
It's more that the very initial post stirred the "you could have..." feelings a bit. For me, I know that's horsesh!t. But I also know there are a lot of people that read these forums and have the good sense to not post in them. And if those feelings were stirred in me, they may have been stirred in a lurker who maybe doesn't yet believe that it's not their fault. I only wanted to present another side just in case it might help someone realize it really, really isn't their fault.
I do believe that self defense is great for all kinds of reasons. And I think we are all worth defending
Ok-I'm off to find a thigh-gap thread
I hear ya.
ps. the worst predators are the ones that you love. Unfortunately that is the modus operandi of a skilled sociopath.0
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