Self defense for exercise and a life skill

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  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
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    @traceyjj
    That is most awesome. Self confidence is the most important "gift" that we can instill in our kids.

    This is the best thing I have ever read here. Very very true

    And vitaminddd--you are right, there are situations where self defense may not work, but self defense/martial arts have so many benefits, there's no reason really why NOT to do it. I am sorry you were in that situation but I am glad you are able to share because it could help others.

    Oh-I wholeheartedly agree with all of this (including the quote lol). Self defense has enormous benefits-I totally agree (including that it's probably very empowering like BinaryPulsar mentioned). I just read the initial post as a "make sure you take self defense training so you can save yourself from a domestic violence situation". I shared my story only as another side: self defense is great, but it may not save you. And although meant with the warmest heart, the initial post stirred my "you could have prevented this" thoughts and if any other survivors read this and felt the same stirrings, I just felt obliged to share that it wasn't my (or their) fault when it happened and it isn't now either.

    Really-I think self defense is great-and there's no reason not to do it. Absolutely in agreement.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.....(I edited out the rest of your comment for brievity, but I respond to the whole thing)......

    You're not alone in that. And the emotional trauma that a survivor goes through and lives with is another battlefield. That's a different type of warriorism. No one blames you for not fighting back harder.

    I have had experiences in which my training in self defense did indeed protect me. And I have had experiences where it did not. Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.

    Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.
  • blackmantis
    blackmantis Posts: 165 Member
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    I saw a post or two earlier today that have really bothered me. Two women had been victims of verbal abuse. I am a past victim of violence, so this is a personal issue for me. Not trying to be preachy, but domestic violence of women and men begins with verbal abuse. I read a stat a while back that said one in five households has CDV activity. Today, I see it's one in every four women. I personally do Taekwondo firstly for exercise, but as a life-skill as well. If you can't afford some form of self defense, contact your local recreation department or police department. I have also attached a quick video of some forms of self defense. Hopefully NO ONE on here needs this, but in the event someone does, here it is.

    http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW

    Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:

    I wouldn't recommend trying to learn martial arts from a video or a book and especially no forms since most people wouldn't know how to apply them.. Those are usually the people who give the various arts a bad name.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Thanks for sharing, Ladies!! :heart:
  • shaypearl
    shaypearl Posts: 307 Member
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    I saw a post or two earlier today that have really bothered me. Two women had been victims of verbal abuse. I am a past victim of violence, so this is a personal issue for me. Not trying to be preachy, but domestic violence of women and men begins with verbal abuse. I read a stat a while back that said one in five households has CDV activity. Today, I see it's one in every four women. I personally do Taekwondo firstly for exercise, but as a life-skill as well. If you can't afford some form of self defense, contact your local recreation department or police department. I have also attached a quick video of some forms of self defense. Hopefully NO ONE on here needs this, but in the event someone does, here it is.

    http://www.americanownews.com/story/20054242/amNOW

    Be a weapon, not a victim. :glasses:

    I wouldn't recommend trying to learn martial arts from a video or a book and especially no forms since most people wouldn't know how to apply them.. Those are usually the people who give the various arts a bad name.

    I totally agree with this. Unless you experience getting grabbed or hit and knowing how to react (in a place where licensed instructors) know what they are doing i wouldn't waste time or money on it. But that's just my opinion.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
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    Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.

    Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.

    It's more that the very initial post stirred the "you could have..." feelings a bit. For me, I know that's horsesh!t. But I also know there are a lot of people that read these forums and have the good sense to not post in them. And if those feelings were stirred in me, they may have been stirred in a lurker who maybe doesn't yet believe that it's not their fault. I only wanted to present another side just in case it might help someone realize it really, really isn't their fault.

    I do believe that self defense is great for all kinds of reasons. And I think we are all worth defending :)

    Ok-I'm off to find a thigh-gap thread
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    This is a good one: http://www.girlsfightback.com/
  • shaypearl
    shaypearl Posts: 307 Member
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    I'm not meaning for this to be a dig on self defense or the numerous benefits of such training, but I wanted to present another side.

    I was held captive, tortured and raped in my own home by a man I knew, trusted and loved. The vast majority of violence against women occurs in their own by people they know (I'll google up some stats if needed). Would self-defense have helped me? Highly doubtful. The man who assaulted me broke into my home, and had my arms restrained before I woke up. Even at that point, I was not in fear as I knew and trusted and loved this man and never dreamed of the harm he was capable of inflicting.

    I did fight back when I knew things were going bad. I kicked and kneed him in the groin and bit his hand-and felt guilty inflicting pain on someone I loved and cared about. I don't know that I could have done more, even with my life in danger as it was very different (to me) than fighting off a stranger about who's well-being i don't care. My attempts to fight him off earned me a gash across my abdomen, several burns and a bite in my breast (that was just the beginning).

    Anyway, I, like most assault victims, struggled for years and years with feeling responsible for the assault, and plagued myself with "if I'd only..." thoughts. The truth is that there isn't a thing I could have done. Implying that self-defense classes can absolutely prevent or save someone from attack gives victims yet another reason to blame themselves.

    Could it help? Sure. Will it help? That really depends on a lot of things.

    Again-not dissing self-defense training. Just putting out another side.

    I'm saying self defense HELPS. I would rather go out with a fight like you did than to lay down and do nothing. You put a fight, that's the best you could do and you lived to tell the story. Attackers usually go after people that they think will not fight back. Most of the time if you get to kicking, screaming and punching, you will no longer we worth it. I prefer Krav Maga and Muay Thai b/c I do not like gun and I have my CHL. It's just something I enjoy doing for a workout and to have an option if an assault does occur. I hope you understand.
  • coolstud65
    coolstud65 Posts: 5
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    I am glad to hear that you train in Martial Arts. I have been training for 43 years & hold the rank of 7th deg Blackbelt in Shaolin Kempo Karate, I also train in Gracie Jiu Jitsu. It is nice to see people take charge of there own personal welfare.
    To many people do not think they will ever fall victim to a attack. In todays world to many things can happen. So keep on Kicking. Also I have a facebook account you are more welcome to like it is Master Morris Shaolin Kempo.

    Take care
    Osu
    John Morris
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.

    Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.

    It's more that the very initial post stirred the "you could have..." feelings a bit. For me, I know that's horsesh!t. But I also know there are a lot of people that read these forums and have the good sense to not post in them. And if those feelings were stirred in me, they may have been stirred in a lurker who maybe doesn't yet believe that it's not their fault. I only wanted to present another side just in case it might help someone realize it really, really isn't their fault.

    I do believe that self defense is great for all kinds of reasons. And I think we are all worth defending :)

    Ok-I'm off to find a thigh-gap thread

    I hear ya.

    ps. the worst predators are the ones that you love. Unfortunately that is the modus operandi of a skilled sociopath.
  • shaypearl
    shaypearl Posts: 307 Member
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    I am glad to hear that you train in Martial Arts. I have been training for 43 years & hold the rank of 7th deg Blackbelt in Shaolin Kempo Karate, I also train in Gracie Jiu Jitsu. It is nice to see people take charge of there own personal welfare.
    To many people do not think they will ever fall victim to a attack. In todays world to many things can happen. So keep on Kicking. Also I have a facebook account you are more welcome to like it is Master Morris Shaolin Kempo.

    Take care
    Osu
    John Morris

    Thanks, you do the same. Jiu Jitsu is a whole other beast. I cringe on ground fighting day. I always think ' I used to wrestle with my brothers when we were young and if felt nothing like this'
  • JMPerlin
    JMPerlin Posts: 287 Member
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    Self defense training is an excellent investment for anyone.
  • ourglasswalls
    ourglasswalls Posts: 44 Member
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    I agree that martial arts is a great skill to have. I also have taken Krav Maga. Though it is a great place to learn what the reality of a situation could be and what up close and personal feels like, its not for everyone and sometimes just not right away. I think any kind of self defense knowledge is great, even if it isn't as aggressive as Krav Maga. I am currently shadowing a self defense rape prevention course thats made available in my community with the prospects of hoping to also teach one day.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    I took 11 years of hardcore Kung Fu with both of my kids. One is a black belt with instructor certification and my daughter says "I have never been with a boyfriend I didnt think I could take".

    Confidence comes from preperation. Knowing what to do and practicing what to do so that it becomes second nature is what is needed. I would not hesitate to use it if needed and like a lot of martial arts people here I know how to maim and injure...or worse if needed.
    Oh, and its great exercise as well.
  • shaypearl
    shaypearl Posts: 307 Member
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    I agree that martial arts is a great skill to have. I also have taken Krav Maga. Though it is a great place to learn what the reality of a situation could be and what up close and personal feels like, its not for everyone and sometimes just not right away. I think any kind of self defense knowledge is great, even if it isn't as aggressive as Krav Maga. I am currently shadowing a self defense rape prevention course thats made available in my community with the prospects of hoping to also teach one day.

    I can agree with this. I knew a lady that could not even scream. She would get so scared and just freeze up. It's definitely not for everyone which is great that there are so many options of self defense out there.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Anyone who interprets our discussion about self defense as insinuating or supporting blaming victims who didn't fight off their aggressors are gravely mistaken.

    Another thing self defense taught me: I am worth defending.

    It's more that the very initial post stirred the "you could have..." feelings a bit. For me, I know that's horsesh!t. But I also know there are a lot of people that read these forums and have the good sense to not post in them. And if those feelings were stirred in me, they may have been stirred in a lurker who maybe doesn't yet believe that it's not their fault. I only wanted to present another side just in case it might help someone realize it really, really isn't their fault.

    I do believe that self defense is great for all kinds of reasons. And I think we are all worth defending :)

    Ok-I'm off to find a thigh-gap thread

    I hear ya.

    ps. the worst predators are the ones that you love. Unfortunately that is the modus operandi of a skilled sociopath.

    Definitely agree. They are the most dangerous predators. They choose the victim and work their way into that person's life until they are trapped.

    Also, just want to add that it is a completely normal biological response to either fight, flight, or freeze. It's also called tonic immobility.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Also, just want to add that it is a completely normal biological response to either fight, flight, or freeze. It's also called tonic immobility.

    ...indeed. especially when you are in shock that a person you trust is doing this to you.... people who haven't been through it might not understand how increadibly confusing it is. But i do think that in some situations training is really helpful. I am just a lot less scared about hurting someone because part of my training was also how to fight without hurting the other person. I just can't recommend a good martial arts school enough <3
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    WONDERFUL ADVICE!
    Every lady should know how to defend herself as well as have the confidence to exit an abusive relationship.
    And I think they need to remake that movie..."The Burning Bed"...perfect justice :drinker:
  • IzzyBooNZ1
    IzzyBooNZ1 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    hey all
    I am looking at starting up Tae Kwon do ( there is a school barely 5 min walk from home!) and I can go free for a couple of lessons to see how it goes.
    I am 37 - is this too old to learn? I have wanted to do learn something like this for a long time but put it off as I feel pretty weak, uncordinated and not very good at balancing, including a lack of confidence , plus I am a little nervous about getting thrown around everywhere lol

    How was it for you all when you first started? any tips? the people who run it seem very nice & welcoming. I have always wanted to learn a martial art , for improving confidence, fitness etc , not for competitions or anything
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Also, just want to add that it is a completely normal biological response to either fight, flight, or freeze. It's also called tonic immobility.

    ...indeed. especially when you are in shock that a person you trust is doing this to you.... people who haven't been through it might not understand how increadibly confusing it is. But i do think that in some situations training is really helpful. I am just a lot less scared about hurting someone because part of my training was also how to fight without hurting the other person. I just can't recommend a good martial arts school enough <3

    That's a really good point!

    And to the person above that asked if 37 is too old to learn, it's never too old to learn.

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