How overweight is TOO overweight?

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24

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  • XxfitforeverxX
    XxfitforeverxX Posts: 144
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    You are soooo pretty!
  • Deedsie
    Deedsie Posts: 348 Member
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    You are beautiful. Those guys are nuts.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I don't know man... Can you still be attracted to someone EVEN IF they're a tad pudgy? Maybe you're like me and go more for personality... Maybe not. What do you think?
    If you were in a sexual relationship with someone and then their mind was somehow transferred into the body of a goat, would you still love them? Yes. You would still care about their well being and want them to be happy, etc.

    Would you still want to have sex with them in their new goat body? Of course not! Sure, lust has some small intellectual element to it, but there is undeniably a physical component that is essential, and if it isn't there it just isn't there.

    Imagine, for a moment, your family tree going back fifty thousand generations. That's a lot of ancestors. One thing they all have in common is that every single one of them, without exception, chose a mate who produced vigorous, successful offspring. Not a single failure among all of those ancestors. The same is true of the ancestors of every human being you will ever meet. That is who you inherited your genes from, some of those genes being, "how to grow brain structures that determine who you want to mate with."

    Everyone has their own built-in range of what they are physically attracted to and we don't get to choose that. It's not a character flaw to have a preference, or to realize that there are billions of potential mates out there and try to find someone who fits your own preference. (Although it does seem odd to decide that after you're already involved with someone.)
  • JenM76
    JenM76 Posts: 38 Member
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    I don't know man... Can you still be attracted to someone EVEN IF they're a tad pudgy? Maybe you're like me and go more for personality... Maybe not. What do you think?

    I think it is a matter of personal preference. I am most attracted to what society deems attractive (you know, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Jensen Ackles, etc). However, not one person I have been with looks anything like any of them. They have either been really thin or pudgy. Doesn't mean I wasn't madly and wildly attracted to them. I fell for their personality.
    I think your ex is crazy. Totally not worth your time to worry over. You are a beautiful girl and we all deserve someone that doesn't see the physical flaws we see in ourselves and loves us for us.
  • philshjips
    philshjips Posts: 41 Member
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    Your ex is completely insane. I've always been more attracted to bigger girls; i love hips and butts. If she don't jiggle, then she ain't worth it.
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
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    I prefer my husband with an extra bit of chub
    <3 cute!
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
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    Sorry if this was a little misleading. Ive just been doing a bit of thinking about my last relationship. I know how I feel about love and relationships, but many tend to disagree. Not being superficial, I was actually dumped for being too fat, which made me feel just awesome. But it is nice to see that there are genuinely good guys out there who can appreciate a girl for who she is, not her waist size. Thats all :)


    He was worthless anyway. You are GORGEOUS!
  • kdz526
    kdz526 Posts: 210 Member
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    I've always been chunky and did not have a problem finding decent guys (yeah there were some losers mixed in). My bf in high school was an awesome guy, reallly good guy but was definately more athletic (soccer player). My husband who I met in college and has loved me all the sizes i have been even when I was up to 235lbs. He is just average build bordering on overweight, but when we hooked up he was about 20lbs heavier. Age may have a factor in it too. The decent guys tend to be less obvious, and the douchecanoe's are out in full force most the time. You look younger to me, so what I have actually read, when guys are highschool/college age, they are programmed to like the skinny hipless societal beauty types, but once they reach around 25 or 26, they start thinking of procreation, and that widen's their perceptions and preferences. Not to mention they finish growing up.
    I do have to say if a guy dumped me and said it was cause I was too fat, I would probably junk punch him (hey being short has its advantages) and make a sarcastic smartass comment about some imperfection of his own.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    Even in highschool, weight wasn't a primary concern.

    I'm happily married now, but when I was single a girls weight wasn't that big of an issue.
    Unfortunately, sometimes weight affects attitude, which is where I focus. If you have a crappy attitude about being 350lbs and say it's society's fault, and you've never worked out a day in your life, I won't talk to you.

    If you're the same 350lbs but you are a happy person, absolutely. If you also want to help yourself and start eating better etc etc, even better! It's all in the attitude.
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
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    I love my boyfriend and his little beer belly :) I can definitely say that I'm someone who is attracted to personality because I hope that no one would be so vain as to disregard me because of my weight.

    Without me it's just aweso!!!!! haha

    You and your bf are adorable!!! :D I don't know. I keep telling myself weight doesn't matter, but I went on a date about a week ago and I heard from one of the guys friends that he thought I was too heavy... I mean I'm chubby, but Im really not even that big... I just feel surrounded by these superficial guys who won't give me a second look. :(

    I hope he calls for a 2nd so you can shut him down. :smile: I totally feel everyone is allowed their opinions, and you can't always help what/who you're attracted to, but that doesn't mean you can't be decent to people. I've been overweight my whole adult life. I haven't dated but 3 guys and married the last one. I'm sure my weight had a lot to do with it. I feel there is tension about it even now...sometimes from him and a lot of times from me being self conscious. Sounds like you're just finding the wrong ones. Keep looking!
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
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    Your ex is completely insane. I've always been more attracted to bigger girls; i love hips and butts. If she don't jiggle, then she ain't worth it.

    I like you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Weight is just one factor is how attractive someone is. I could see morbid obesity being a turnoff, since that nearly always means an underlying self esteem issue, but "pudgy" wouldn't be an issue. A kind, pudgy guy with a friendly face is better than a ripped a-hole any day.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    I'm clinically obese...I hope someone shows us fatties some love.
  • ModoVincere
    ModoVincere Posts: 530 Member
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    I prefer that my woman be happy with herself. If she's good with it, so am I.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I don't know man... Can you still be attracted to someone EVEN IF they're a tad pudgy? Maybe you're like me and go more for personality... Maybe not. What do you think?
    Individual preference is what it comes down to. There is no universal answer to this kind of question.
  • philshjips
    philshjips Posts: 41 Member
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    Weight is just one factor is how attractive someone is. I could see morbid obesity being a turnoff, since that nearly always means an underlying self esteem issue, but "pudgy" wouldn't be an issue. A kind, pudgy guy with a friendly face is better than a ripped a-hole any day.

    I think if you've got a ripped a-hole then there's some other stuff goin on... :tongue:
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    Age may have a factor in it too. The decent guys tend to be less obvious, and the douchecanoe's are out in full force most the time. You look younger to me, so what I have actually read, when guys are highschool/college age, they are programmed to like the skinny hipless societal beauty types, but once they reach around 25 or 26, they start thinking of procreation, and that widen's their perceptions and preferences. Not to mention they finish growing up.
    I do have to say if a guy dumped me and said it was cause I was too fat, I would probably junk punch him (hey being short has its advantages) and make a sarcastic smartass comment about some imperfection of his own.

    THIS^^^ makes a lot of sense. Guys who have grown up tend to gravitate towards the women with curves--a more Marilyn Monroe type body. My friend and I had this discussion just this past weekend. Many women who have had children tend to have a little softness to their curves that guys really like. I had an older gentleman ( like 70ish) tell me that I had a better body NOW (obese) than I did 18 years ago before I had kids when I was a perfect size 8.

    On the flip side, I just ran the numbers...hubby was smack dab in the middle of a healthy BMI range when I met him. 18 years later, he is like 1 point into the obese range. Honestly, I would have never guessed. I knew he had gained weight, but would never guess that he is obese now. Personally, I like a man who is not bony, but not FAT to the point where he has rolls. I like a moderate amount of muscle definition--a ton of muscle is gross.
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
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    i love chubby girls
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
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    i love chubby girls

    That's why you friended me......I thought it was my amazing awesome personality. Total fail! :cry:
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    My wife and I loved each other when we were overweight but I gotta say everything is better now that we're both in shape.

    Better sex = better relationship.

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