All or nothing mentality - need help being consistent

Project_Jodie

Hi Everyone,

I have very much an all or nothing mentality. One day I can be perfectly good food wise, train hard stick to calories and the next I blow it. I know that If I eat one bad thing (ie yesterday it was arnotts biscuits) I think "Oh well, I've blown it today I may as well make today a "Cheat" Day

It would be ok if this happened on a once a week basis but its happening too frequently and obviously impeding my weight loss goals. I don't buy junk food for home cos if it's sitting there I will eat it, I also try not to even have 1 biscuit or chocolate because I end up blowing the whole day.

Does anyone relate to this?

Thanks

Gramps251

You don't want it badly enough.

deksgrl

You have to create the atmosphere that it is okay to not be perfect, that you can improve and compensate on those days you blow it. Don't throw the whole day out, plan lighter eating later to compensate, or plan extra exercise to burn off the excess.

BCSMama

I can relate. Try planning your treats and working them into your calories. I tend to think of my calories on a weekly rather than daily basis so that if I go over one day and under another, it all kind of evens out. I think if you plan it out and give yourself a certain amount you can have, you will be more likely to stick to that.

sonjalucia

I can totally relate - it's in my profile (add me as a friend please).

Living "All or Nothing" has pros and cons for sure, but when it comes to eating, it's simply not realistic.

I could go on and on about this, but my suggestion would be what I tried 2 months ago (and have still been doing):

Track everything and try to fit in a piece of chocolate, or one cookie a day (or every other day) try to fit this into your daily macros.

I promise you, that after a bit of falling and getting back up, that you will find that you can manage a bit of a savory or sweet tooth and lose weight at the same time. It's not about the destination..it's about the journey!

Good Luck!

RhonndaJ

Yes. Its how I managed to get to 400 lbs.

It took me far too long to figure out that one slip up does not a failure make.

I hope you get good advice that clicks for you.

Domi_BTGfit

Never let one set back ruin the rest of your day. Just make the conscious decision to keep on with your goal, regardless.

Don't be one of those people who "starts again on Monday" but eats crap all weekend to "make up for it".... those are the people who don't really want to lose the weight, but feel like they should for society or someone else who is telling them to lose weight.

It is hard work, but you really need to want it for yourself. Nobody else cares if you had a biscuit, it's YOU that you're doing this for. So don't eat the biscuit. x

nfrewin

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

elisa123gal

keep reading the success forum.. it has inspired me to quit cheating myself and just follow the rules and get it done. Seems like those who make that connection find losing easy to accomplish because they don't fool themselves any longer.

Crochetluvr

I admit to getting a little complacent over the holidays. I have lost a good chunk of weight and like how I look so sometimes you think, "Oh...I can let go a little." But that only lasted till I moved back into the 170's and said NOOOOO!!!. NEVER GOING BACK!

I lost those 3 pounds and am only looking downward from now on.

stunningalmond

That is me too... all or nothing. I'm trying hard not to think of it like that though. Like today, I had 2 cookies and sugar in my coffee, but I worked it into my calories and will work harder at the gym tonight.

Feel free to add me if you like. I made a post like this a while back to see if there were others with the same thoughts. There are many of us. I call the bad days my "screw it days". Lol!

eagle1elitepro

The biggest misconception is: we get a cheat day..
fact is: we get a cheat meal!! not a total day of cheating..

dangerxbadger

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

It's true. If you stop eating that crap for a substantial amount of time, you will stop craving it. So stop. If you want a cookie, do some jumping jacks instead. Do something that is going to make you feel good about you, not to opposite. Believe me, I know what you're going through. I went from being a super fit, healthy eater to making cakes as a hobby and a self-admitted sugar fiend. But guess what? Once I curbed it and stopped eating crap, I don't even WANT it anymore, because I know how hard I work and don't want to do anything to jeopardize my progress. The first step is always the hardest, but as long as you're coming back here, you are already on your way to making it. The next part is to fully commit and kick the junk habit. You can do this!

michellekicks

I wrote this on another thread to someone else who felt very all-or-nothing...

If you have to go "all in", go all in to one goal each month. Set a modest weight loss goal... 1/2 lb weight loss per week. Trust me. In 6 months you'll be feeling awesome and can re-evaluate if you need. Then commit to meeting that goal daily... with whatever you want to eat. Take your weight, your bust/waist/hips measurements and a full length photo.

For the rest of January, meet your calorie target without exceeding it. Every day. I dare you.

In February, exercise at least 4 days a week for the entire month. That's 16 workouts. No problem.

In March, join a new activity you've never tried... martial arts, swimming, running, dance...

In April, look at what you're eating and add more protein until you're eating .8g/day for every lb you weigh.

In May, lift weights twice a week on top of your 4 days of cardio.

In June, aim for a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day.

On June 30th, take some more measurements and another photo. Compare side-by-side...

You can do this...

Habits take time to break... and changes take time to become new habits. Give them time. You're human. You can't expect to suddenly begin living like an elite athlete if you aren't that person. Become that person... slowly. Over time.

VelociMama

I wrote this on another thread to someone else who felt very all-or-nothing...

If you have to go "all in", go all in to one goal each month. Set a modest weight loss goal... 1/2 lb weight loss per week. Trust me. In 6 months you'll be feeling awesome and can re-evaluate if you need. Then commit to meeting that goal daily... with whatever you want to eat. Take your weight, your bust/waist/hips measurements and a full length photo.

For the rest of January, meet your calorie target without exceeding it. Every day. I dare you.

In February, exercise at least 4 days a week for the entire month. That's 16 workouts. No problem.

In March, join a new activity you've never tried... martial arts, swimming, running, dance...

In April, look at what you're eating and add more protein until you're eating .8g/day for every lb you weigh.

In May, lift weights twice a week on top of your 4 days of cardio.

In June, aim for a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day.

On June 30th, take some more measurements and another photo. Compare side-by-side...

You can do this...

Habits take time to break... and changes take time to become new habits. Give them time. You're human. You can't expect to suddenly begin living like an elite athlete if you aren't that person. Become that person... slowly. Over time.

^ this post is superb solid advice.

LiftAllThePizzas

It's good to have treats here and there.

If you are finding it too hard to resist or feel like you're depriving yourself, stop setting the bar too high and pre-plan them into your calorie count so that you can have them twice a week or however often you think is reasonable and doable, without going over your goals.

Also, you can alter your rules so that when you "cheat" you still have to make up for the calories within the same or next day by eating fewer calories or exercising more. By doing so, you will learn how to 'budget' your calories/appetite/exercise to balance the things you need with the things you like.

MemphisKitten

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

:noway: This way of thinking really upsets me. Some people have no trouble saying no to junk foods and apparently I didn't inherit their "perfect gene" because I have a really hard time avoiding these foods as well. This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower! It has to do with our brain chemistry and we are hard-wired to go for three things: sugar, salt, and fat. While some people have less of an addictive nature and have little trouble avoiding these foods, many of us feel so out of control because we simply feel as if we fail over and over again. Having cravings and giving in to "trigger" foods will get better over time, and you can still lose weight while cheating every now and then. Don't get discouraged by the PERFECT people, and just keep trying. Every day is a new day! :flowerforyou:

Gramps251

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

:noway: This way of thinking really upsets me. Some people have no trouble saying no to junk foods and apparently I didn't inherit their "perfect gene" because I have a really hard time avoiding these foods as well. This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower! It has to do with our brain chemistry and we are hard-wired to go for three things: sugar, salt, and fat. While some people have less of an addictive nature and have little trouble avoiding these foods, many of us feel so out of control because we simply feel as if we fail over and over again. Having cravings and giving in to "trigger" foods will get better over time, and you can still lose weight while cheating every now and then. Don't get discouraged by the PERFECT people, and just keep trying. Every day is a new day! :flowerforyou:

Come on. If people can quit heroin they can sure quit other (non-adictive) things. I'm not saying never eat empty calories. Just realize what they are and you'll be less likely to give in completely.

dogo187

You don't want it badly enough.

^^^^^^^^
THIS!!!

LiftAllThePizzas

This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower!

It has nothing to do with willpower, because willpower is a fairytale. When faced with a decision, people always do what they want every time. Learn how to control what you want and you will be able to get ahead of decisions so that when you get to that point, you are not making the choice based on immediate gratification.

For example in one experiment little kids were sat at a table and given one marshmallow and told if it's still there in 15 minutes they will get another one. The ones who stuck it out did so by keeping themselves from obsessing over the one in front of them. They didn't resist the impulse to eat it, they got themselves away from the situation that would cause them to make that impulsive decision, by focusing on something else.

cargilb

Hi Everyone,

I have very much an all or nothing mentality. One day I can be perfectly good food wise, train hard stick to calories and the next I blow it. I know that If I eat one bad thing (ie yesterday it was arnotts biscuits) I think "Oh well, I've blown it today I may as well make today a "Cheat" Day

It would be ok if this happened on a once a week basis but its happening too frequently and obviously impeding my weight loss goals. I don't buy junk food for home cos if it's sitting there I will eat it, I also try not to even have 1 biscuit or chocolate because I end up blowing the whole day.

Does anyone relate to this?

Thanks

I can relate to not having sweets around the house. But I don't really relate to blowing it. I definitely have my days but at worst its once a week and I try to make up for it the next day by cutting back and or exercising. I have learned to love bike riding again and I can spentd up to 5 or 6 hourasrs on my bike burning c up to 4000 calories in a day. Efforts like that make me think, why blow it now ? after an effort like that, why go and ruin it? exercising helps me focus and dedicate myself to the effort i have put forth with time and sweat .