Unhappy at goal weight?

sullykat

Try not to set your expectations so high. The number of people in this world who are 100% completely and unequivocally happy with their body is about....zero. I've seen people with flat stomachs, perfect arms, etc all talk about their future plans and goals for improvement. Nothing wrong with it - the desire to improve oneself is generally THE defining motivation for their work. Keep it up. If you've got 130lbs total to lose, at the very least you are going to make monstrous improvements in body composition AND in your health. Yeah, loose skin sucks but dying of a heart attack when you're 45 sucks worse. There are no downsides to losing weight like that.

From here, I have about 65lbs to lose to my UGW, but Ive never been that weight so who knows if it's my true goal. I just have this mental block that if it's not exactly what I want, would it have been worth it?

I can assure you, it is worth it. Even though I have insane body issues, I know it is worth it. I will never go back to where I was. I may not feel great about myself all the time, but I certainly feel better now than then. It is COMPLETELY worth it!

orangefour

I worry about this every day. I've lost a good amount of weight, but am still just as disgusted with my body. I worry all the time that I will feel this way at my end goal. I just keep hoping that as I get closer and closer to my goal I will feel better about my body.

SleepySin

Honestly, the numbers on the scale don't mean much other than having a numeric goal to reach.

Most of us are actually shooting for fitness goals and/or a particular "look". None of us really know what the exactly weight will be when we reach there. The weight loss ticker of MFP is just a point of reference for encouragement.

I want to run a 5K (relatively) comfortably (training for a 5K 3x/week), have a better sense of following choreographed moves (I do Zumba 2-3x/week) and improved muscle tone (strength/weight classes 2-3x/week). When these goals have been accomplished, I'd like to maintain them and then build on them!

newhabit

yes for me it's not about the number anymore but about how i look. strength training has really helped me feel better about how i look. same weight, smaller size in 1 year. amazing what it can do

gertudejekyl

I looked at your pics. Your shape is wonderfully feminine and people would give anything to have that shape. Lift weights if you want to improve firmness...

UpEarly

I initially had my goal weight set to be 150lbs. I'm 5'9" and it seemed to be a healthy, not-too-thin, not-too-fat weight. I got there, and decided I wasn't happy with how I looked, so I continued to lose weight.

I ended up settling at 136 lbs. I've been maintaining that since June now and am really happy with my body. I'm 41... so yes, I have some 'wear and tear' from aging that's never going to improve or go away. But, I'm happy with my fitness level and appearance now.

Anthonydaman

I think the media has given all of us unrealistic body expectations to live up to. For so many of us it's not a weight issue, but a self esteem issue. If you are consistently working at a lifestyle change you should pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

neighner9

I mostly think this too. I was at my heaviest about 154lbs, i am now on average maintaining 125lbs. I have been mostly thin all of my life bit I stil lam not sastified with my body. Guess some us just never will be. Just have to hold our heads up and pretend we have all the confidence in the world. I bet any man would love our bodies, they don't normally notice all the imperfections that we do.

lizziebeth1028

Not that I'm anywhere near my goal yet, but I am currently almost 40lbs from my HW, and have been 25 lbs thinner than I am now, and even at that weight (175lbs-- 65lbs from HW), I didn't LIKE my body any more than I did at my HW. I have this fear that even when I hit GW, I'm going to be disappointed in the shape and proportions of my body. My hips are too wide, my calves have always been trunks, stretch marks and "pooch" from pregnancy that won't budge are all staring at me. This fear grips me and almost makes me want to say, "why bother?" If a 65 lb weight loss didn't help my perception of my body, is another 65 going to make me happy?
Has anyone else experienced this? Anyone get to (or close to) goal and still find that weight hasn't impacted their feelings about their body?

Why bother? For health, longevity, energy, do it for your kids! Most of us are never gonna be perfect but healthy and fit sure goes a long way in my book. Why bother? Because being obese is better than hitting your goal weight and oh poor me I have stretch marks? Make this a healthy lifestyle for you and your loved ones!

cwolfman13

I think a lot of people aren't all that happy with their composition once they reach their goal weight. I think a lot of people have it in their mind that once they get to that weight they'll look a certain way...when in reality, looking that "certain way" requires much more than losing weight and endless hours of cardio...it requires changing your composition which requires weight training.

I've seen some pretty awesome before and after pics of people who are at their goal weight but skinny fat in the before...and 5-10 Lbs heavier in the after with muscle and look much more awesome at the leaner, muscular and toned...but heavier weight.

VorJoshigan

Make right your mind and your body will follow.

Or at least that's the way it worked for me. I failed with physical fitness until I worked on why I was fat to begin with. Hint: it wasn't just about being lazy and/or liking food.

dorothytd

Not that I'm anywhere near my goal yet, but I am currently almost 40lbs from my HW, and have been 25 lbs thinner than I am now, and even at that weight (175lbs-- 65lbs from HW), I didn't LIKE my body any more than I did at my HW. I have this fear that even when I hit GW, I'm going to be disappointed in the shape and proportions of my body. My hips are too wide, my calves have always been trunks, stretch marks and "pooch" from pregnancy that won't budge are all staring at me. This fear grips me and almost makes me want to say, "why bother?" If a 65 lb weight loss didn't help my perception of my body, is another 65 going to make me happy?
Has anyone else experienced this? Anyone get to (or close to) goal and still find that weight hasn't impacted their feelings about their body?

I think most females will pick apart their flaws, no matter what weight/height/size we are. I'm at goal weight and I could give you a list of the physical things about me I don't like. Operative word: COULD. I really really try to focus on all the wonderful positive things I've gained from losing. Muscle, stamina, a whole new world of activities I could never do, etc. And if you realize that you are beautiful regardless of your perceived flaws, others will see you that way as well. My best advice: focus on being healthy. Focus on the inside. The more at peace you are with yourself, the easier it is to stop focusing on the negative.

Best of luck - stay on track. It is worth it.

cyberiarob

I can relate to your feelings. When I first set my goal weight, I calculated my current BF% and lean mass. Then I figured out what my total weight would be at 15% BF (which turned out to be around 165) and set that as my goal. I really had no idea what I would look like when I get there. I haven't weighed 165 since I was 12 years old!

Right now I'm a little less than 10 pounds away from that goal and I am still not happy with my body. I see myself as (quoting a previous post -) "skinny fat". I'm still excited about hitting my initial goal, but I'm thinking I'm going to have to reevaluate sometime soon. I figured I would lose the bulk of it first and then worry about sculpting it as needed. I've just recently started weight training and intend on doing that more.

4manda76

Loosing weight is the easy part the psychological battle is the hardest part! When you have seen yourself a certain way for such a long time it's hard to see yourself any other way, the longer you have been telling yourself your fat and been reaffirming it the harder the battle is. Lets just say when you get to goal weight that's when the hard work really starts and it will take time to turn your thinking around!

VincitQuiSeVincit

I think a lot of people aren't all that happy with their composition once they reach their goal weight. I think a lot of people have it in their mind that once they get to that weight they'll look a certain way...when in reality, looking that "certain way" requires much more than losing weight and endless hours of cardio...it requires changing your composition which requires weight training.

I've seen some pretty awesome before and after pics of people who are at their goal weight but skinny fat in the before...and 5-10 Lbs heavier in the after with muscle and look much more awesome at the leaner, muscular and toned...but heavier weight.

Oh I totally hear you! Ive never been scared of weights or "bulking"...I'm not stuck on a number either...but when you're as overweight as I am, there is no way "toned" is happening for me with significant weight loss

Jizes318

I stopped looking at a number and just want to get to where I feel and look good! Focusing on a number drove me crazy!!

VincitQuiSeVincit

Loosing weight is the easy part the psychological battle is the hardest part! When you have seen yourself a certain way for such a long time it's hard to see yourself any other way, the longer you have been telling yourself your fat and been reaffirming it the harder the battle is. Lets just say when you get to goal weight that's when the hard work really starts and it will take time to turn your thinking around!

It's true. I have always been my worst enemy. I know I should focus on retraining my brain as much as my body

mag2906

I've been overweight my entire life.
I've never reached my GW because of what you described. I would lose bunch of weight; still not happy about myself, start thinking why bother and start eating (or over eating rather) again.

After gaining 10 - 20 pounds, I would look into mirror and think: Oh, **** - I definitely looked/felt better before.

So now, I just try to eat right and exercise. I'm not crazy about how fast I lose or how good I may or may not look now or at my GW.
I've struggled with binge eating most of my life, so it just feels good to be in control of my food for a change.

Stick to it! Good luck!

jnance82

I've struggled with my weight ever since I was a child and was teased for many years. Ive been as small as a size 4 and as large as a size 14 and I have never been able to look at myself either naked or in a bathing suit and be pleased with what I saw. I think it's a body image issue we as women have. I've learned to accept that as long as I look good in my clothes the other part doesn't matter.

bellevie86

I've lost 30. I'm not impressed so far. I'll just have to see what it looks like the nearer I get to goal. Good luck! *HUGS*

Ditto! Im almost 30 down and I gotta say i'm not impressed with how i look NAKED. Clothed is fine....I'm getting a ton of positive feedback, which keeps me going. I have however, noticed small changes....so those small changed will add up. You can't help your natural body shape, neither can I. But you can get it to work for you and tweak it to a point where you're good with how you are naturally.

You may want to give up because you're not getting that 'shape" but lets not discount how much you're body will love you for treating it right just by losing a bit of weight and eating healthy. You will STILL have a better quality of life and that's what it SHOULD really be about

kevin3344

Let's wait a while before we make any rash decisions lol. Right now it's hard to tell because you're still a ways away. You can re-assess after you're closer to your goal.

That being said, diet alone won't shape your body. You'll need things like circuit and/or weight training to do that. If you haven't already, pick up a Jillian Michael's DVD (30 Day Shred is $9 at Target) and start some workouts. You'll see amazing changes in your core, promise!!

Remember, it's not always about how you look. What about your energy level? So keep in mind there are intangibles you haven't thought of or realized yet, but you will when you get there