Really just tired of the lies....

jeremyw1977

As a former smoker, I really tried hard not to be one of those annoying former smokers. You know the kind, the kind that develop a "holier than thou" attitude, ridiculing smokers, or pushing their "how I quit" on people as if it's the gospel.

Like you, I have seen the same kind of people on this site from time to time.
They're going off like, "I lost weight by doing X, so everyone should be doing X, and you're wrong if you're doing anything but X".

I got a real kick out of seeing someone on the threads saying "I don't understand how anyone could eat fast food" and just absolutely blasting anyone who did..........yet her food diary clearly showed that she was a bit of a hypocrite.

I tend to ignore those people and move on to those who inspire or motivate, instead of bully and belittle.

lizziebeth1028

Has anyone else noticed that the more controversial (and therefore usually most active) threads on these forums are the ones where people insist on speaking in absolutes and pushing their beliefs on everyone else? Are people on MFP really so ignorant or arrogant that they believe the only way to accomplish the goals that we have in common is their way and no other? The age old adage "there's more than one way to skin a cat" applies to so many things in life and indeed applies to fitness and health goals. If there's one thing I've learned over the many years that I've been educating myself on fitness and diet it's that the body remains a mysterious and marvelous machine. It is such a complex meshing of systems that to try and make any universal statement about any of the complex processes in the body is futile at best.

Indeed I've learned that when it comes to fitness and diet, the people to avoid most diligently are those that tell you they've found *THE* answer and this is it. Those hocking their latest fitness contraption always tell you how great and revolutionary it is and point to the "wasted time and effort" involved in their competitors equipment. Those pushing the latest diet approach always seem to be telling us how other diet programs are flawed and will never work. I run from these stories like the plague.

Yet here on MFP, where the very site itself promotes a balanced approach to improving our diet and developing a lifestyle of fitness, we still have the people that insist on pushing their approach that worked for them as *THE* end-all be-all holy grail of solutions to diet and fitness. For some reason these people cannot find room in their mind to understand that many approaches work, each and every single one has their own advantages and disadvantages, and no one answer applies to all of us universally.

So without further ado, here's my list of the lies I'm tired of hearing:

1. Your not serious about strength training if you're not doing squats and dead lifts -> Not true, I know a few professional personal trainers and strength trainers who never use either in their workout plans and they have some clients that are very impressive. Personally, I've had a solid focus for the last year and a half on strength and mass building and without doing a single deadlift and with squats only a very tiny portion of my workout plan I've got some awesome results.

2. You must eat clean to get down to a low Body Fat % and develop a 6-pack -> Hogwash. I've never eaten clean a day in my life. I enjoy processed foods, foods with chemicals, foods made with white flour, and even fast food. Yet here I sit with 9.7% bodyfat and a respectable six pack that's easily visible.

3. Your need to drink plain water to hydrate properly -> Oh gawd, that dammed water debate. No I can drink my crystal light, Aquafina flavor splash, Coke Zero, Gatorade and milk and somehow I have no problem remaining fully hydrated.

4. Carbs make you fat, sugars make you fat, xxxx makes you fat. You have to give them up to get thin -> Again, complete crap. I've not given up ANY FOOD in my lifestyle change and yet I'm at the 9.7% Bodyfat I mentioned above. Instead learning to eat in moderation and balance has been my key. Low Carb/No Carb diets do work, sure. So do diets like mine that let you eat whatever you want as long as you follow the plan.

I'm sure I could go on with a few hundred examples but I think most get the point. Educate yourselves. When you insist that your way is the only proper way to do things and that anyone not doing it your way is foolish, it is you who ultimately looks the fool. If anyone on this forum tells you in no uncertain terms that *this* is the only way then I'd be very skeptical of what they're telling you. Share your experiences, offer tips that helped you, but drop the arrogance that makes you believe you've found the magic solution that everyone should follow and which makes you judge those that have not chosen your path as sadly unaware of the horrible choices they're making. Instead be aware that many are well aware of the choices you've made and have instead made choices that have worked for them. Stop insisting they're doing it wrong or thinking of them as ignorant fools for not following your directions.

Totally totally agree with you! Well said!

lizziebeth1028

The one thing I've noticed lately is that some poeple talk in ideals... as in the best most effective/most efficient way to reach your goals ignoring all other factors, while other people just want something that will work and that they can sustain.

That difference is rarely stated, and almost always missed in the forums. Sure, recommendation A may be 1% more effective, but there's only about 3 people on this site that will benefit from that 1%.

More people need to realize that it's about the effort, not the method for 90% of us. What we choose to do is far less important than how hard we try at it. Someone going all out at on a circuit of weight machines is probably going to see better results than someone half-assing it with free weights.

At the end of the day... bust your *kitten* in your workouts and eat right. Period. End of conversation. If you want to eat organic whole foods, have at it. If you want lean cuisine, fine. If you like zumba, great. Want to squat a truck? Go for it.

Agree!! The best work out for you is the one you like and will stick with!

arcticfox04

I agree 100% with the OP. Balance is always key. Also Stress plays a huge roll with everything also.

Though I want to Squat a truck though sounds pretty badass thinking about it.

bcattoes

The one thing I've noticed lately is that some poeple talk in ideals... as in the best most effective/most efficient way to reach your goals ignoring all other factors, while other people just want something that will work and that they can sustain.

That difference is rarely stated, and almost always missed in the forums. Sure, recommendation A may be 1% more effective, but there's only about 3 people on this site that will benefit from that 1%.

More people need to realize that it's about the effort, not the method for 90% of us. What we choose to do is far less important than how hard we try at it. Someone going all out at on a circuit of weight machines is probably going to see better results than someone half-assing it with free weights.

At the end of the day... bust your *kitten* in your workouts and eat right. Period. End of conversation. If you want to eat organic whole foods, have at it. If you want lean cuisine, fine. If you like zumba, great. Want to squat a truck? Go for it.

This ^^^ 100%

MightyDomo

I agree! Every person is their own special case when it comes to what works and what does not.

What works for me will not necessarily work for you.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

For the most part I agree with you, but only to an extent. I do think that how you should train really depends on your overall goals. I'm going to ride through all your points without disagreement except for the first one (my diet is dirty as hell, I drink lots of stuff and the only thing I don't count is booze, and the only carb I shy away from is gluten because I'm intolerant). I have heard that you should do both, I've also heard that you really can't advance and progress in either deads or squats as quickly as your potential if you are training both. That being said, if someone tells me that they only focus on weight training their upper body never ever do any weighted legs (I'll accept lunges, extentions, hami curls, calf raises, etc) all I can think is b-b-b-b-b-gawk.

RoadsterGirlie

Awesome, awesome post.

The ones who typically fail are the ones who have the all-or-nothing approach. Your lifestyle has to be sustainable or it will not work. Period.

You really can have your cake and eat it too, and still lose weight.

I don't eat 100% clean 100% of the time, but it's much cleaner than when I started my weight loss program. I still believe it's a matter of calories in vs calories out, but good nutrition is very important as it keeps you fuller longer on fewer calories, and makes you feel great.

I still enjoy apple pie and real ice cream - I just don't consume large quantities of them like I used to.

angelz_love

To each thier own! I try to write what works for me but every BODY is different. You offering what works for you is educating them. And thats what these forums are all about. It is hard to educate yourself about nutrition, it is a long process to find valid research and there are so many conflicting studies and srticles out there, it doesn't surprise me people get it confused.

jacksonpt

I do think this is worth pointing out something before people get too carried away with the "I'm a beautiful snowflake" mentality...

The science behind what causes weight loss, weight gain, muscle growth, strength increases, cardiovascular health, etc IS ALL THE SAME. My body works the same as your body which works the same as everyone else's on this site (with the only significant difference being people with legitimate health issues, like diabetes, etc.).

What varies, what falls under the "what works for you" umbrella is the method.

People need to sustain a healthy caloric deficit to lose weight. Period. That's the science part. The method is how you get there. Whole foods alone works. Prepared foods with elliptical works. Processed foods with zumba works. Diet with 15 minutes of running works. Diet with 4 hours of cycling works. Diet with free weights works. Diet with weight machines works. Diet with 5lb weights works. Diet with 400lbs works. Eating back exercise cals works. Not eating them back works. Etc. There are dozens of ways to skin the cat... but what you're doing doesn't change (skinning the cat), it's the HOW that changes.

Now, the more specific your goals get, and the more "accomplished" you become towards those goals, then less wiggle room you may have in trying different methods. If you're at 8% BF and looking to add 5lbs of lean muscle, the treadmill probably isn't your best bet. So goals do play a role in this as well.

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alyssamiller77

I do think this is worth pointing out something before people get too carried away with the "I'm a beautiful snowflake" mentality...

The science behind what causes weight loss, weight gain, muscle growth, strength increases, cardiovascular health, etc IS ALL THE SAME. My body works the same as your body which works the same as everyone else's on this site (with the only significant difference being people with legitimate health issues, like diabetes, etc.).

What varies, what falls under the "what works for you" umbrella is the method.

People need to sustain a healthy caloric deficit to lose weight. Period. That's the science part. The method is how you get there. Whole foods alone works. Prepared foods with elliptical works. Processed foods with zumba works. Diet with 15 minutes of running works. Diet with 4 hours of cycling works. Diet with free weights works. Diet with weight machines works. Diet with 5lb weights works. Diet with 400lbs works. Eating back exercise cals works. Not eating them back works. Etc. There are dozens of ways to skin the cat... but what you're doing doesn't change (skinning the cat), it's the HOW that changes.

Now, the more specific your goals get, and the more "accomplished" you become towards those goals, then less wiggle room you may have in trying different methods. If you're at 8% BF and looking to add 5lbs of lean muscle, the treadmill probably isn't your best bet. So goals do play a role in this as well.

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Well stated sir!!

lorenzoinlr

Agree OP in fact most of the time both here and in life when I see someone tying themselves to an absolute, I stop listening. The most intelligent people I'm around draw few conclusions but spot many issues. Unfortunately our culture seems to be getting increasingly closed minded as reflected by not only nutrition, health and conditioning but also politics, religion, guns and just about everything else.

I frequently chuckle to myself when I see absolutes in weight training. I've trained for 40 years and have seen so many principles come in go. With each and every one it was never "I think this works because I've gotten results" it's been "this is the only way." I've tried just about everything in my quest to figure it out. My one conclusion is there are many ways to the hoop. I've worked out with many guys who do it differently.

By the way, the most successful guys I've been around working out almost never do it the way we're so often told here we have to.

FormerSuperHero

I agree 100% with what you are saying. I continue to read peoples' stories on what has worked for them, simply because I can't find what works for me yet. Still seeking the answer for my body. Unfortunately, not many people (that I have seen here) seem to be having my stuggles.

Not looking for a magic pill. Just the formula that my body needs to achieve my goals!!

Thanks for the post.

totally agree

funkycamper

Great post, OP.

I also agree with most of this:

I do think this is worth pointing out something before people get too carried away with the "I'm a beautiful snowflake" mentality...

The science behind what causes weight loss, weight gain, muscle growth, strength increases, cardiovascular health, etc IS ALL THE SAME. My body works the same as your body which works the same as everyone else's on this site (with the only significant difference being people with legitimate health issues, like diabetes, etc.).

What varies, what falls under the "what works for you" umbrella is the method.

People need to sustain a healthy caloric deficit to lose weight. Period. That's the science part. The method is how you get there. Whole foods alone works. Prepared foods with elliptical works. Processed foods with zumba works. Diet with 15 minutes of running works. Diet with 4 hours of cycling works. Diet with free weights works. Diet with weight machines works. Diet with 5lb weights works. Diet with 400lbs works. Eating back exercise cals works. Not eating them back works. Etc. There are dozens of ways to skin the cat... but what you're doing doesn't change (skinning the cat), it's the HOW that changes.

Now, the more specific your goals get, and the more "accomplished" you become towards those goals, then less wiggle room you may have in trying different methods. If you're at 8% BF and looking to add 5lbs of lean muscle, the treadmill probably isn't your best bet. So goals do play a role in this as well.

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My only quibble with this would be that more emphasis probably needs to be placed on people identifying their goals when defining their training program. Of course, for the beginning exerciser, anything that gets them off the couch is great. But, at some point, everyone should do some research on how to dial-in a program that helps them meet their goals. And, I believe, that most of us would benefit from doing a variety of styles of exercising in order to work different muscle groups in different ways but, yeah, a beginner can always add and change things later once they get in the exercise habit.

I also believe that a greater percentage of those of us who struggle with weight would do better eating less carbs than those who have maintained a healthy weight most of their lives. But, of course, there are overweight who can eat huge amounts of carbs and still lose well so this doesn't apply to everybody. I just think that someone who is struggling with weight loss might look into lowering carbs to see if it helps. They probably don't have to go keto or anything extreme but might find better success with less even if they're not diabetic, etc.

And I agree with RoadsterGirl about flexible dieting with the caveat is that I know some folks might have food issues where this would put them on a downward slide or a binge. So, while most of us do great with being flexible, there are some who need to a stricter plan.