Why are brothers so mean?

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  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    It's basically been covered, but he's your brother. If you think hard enough you know how to push his buttons back.

    My little brother will be 25 in February and I still lovingly refer to him as a giant *kitten* sometimes. He's grown up tons since we were kids, and he's one of the most amazing men I know. But he still knows how to push my buttons and be a *kitten* when he wants to. That's what brothers do.

    I forgot to mention, the difference with me is 99.999% of the time we still get along amazingly ever since we moved out on our own. That will make a huge difference, honestly.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    He's your brother. You can punch him when he says things like that.

    Yup :)
  • Webbygail
    Webbygail Posts: 116
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    I'm the oldest of 8. Four sisters, three brothers. Don't even get me started.
  • sunraew
    sunraew Posts: 96 Member
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    Dunno. Rivalry? We were so close and then he launched an all out character assassination last time I visited him. Nearly blew out my star for him. Maybe next time it will be better, but based on advice here I'll be ready to ignore him and be happy anyway. :smooched:

    PS - thanks RitaSantoss - that is exactly what I needed to read. We are in for a rough ride with my Dad's recent diagnosis, so will pack my patience. :flowerforyou:
  • salemnye
    salemnye Posts: 305 Member
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    They are like that because they want to feel better about themselves. Perhaps you have bigger muscles than he does?

    Me and my brother are.......eh....he's 9 years older than me. Sorry that he used to beat you...my brother did that to me and my sister and it was "playing".

    I weigh less than him and he calls me fat all the time (he's got like a beer belly) so I think it makes them feel more manly and good about themselves???
  • iampam4399
    iampam4399 Posts: 81 Member
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    How old are you?

    I'm 19 and he's almost 21 -___- That's why I don't understand why he acts like that.

    He's still very immature, and he may have some jealousy issues to go along with that. People that cut other people like that have their own issues they are trying to cover by bringing another down. May sound a little heavy, but it's a true story. Ignore the ignorant! Pretend you don't hear the negative. That will send a much needed message to him eventually.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    My brothers aren't mean at all. They know what's up.

    Come at me, bros.
  • kikilita
    kikilita Posts: 91 Member
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    Yeah, he sounds very immature. Don't let him see that it bothers you and try to shoot some kind of insult back at him that you know he's sensitive about.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Brothers are mean because they love you. And they're brothers.

    I have two of them myself. If you're lucky, they will eventually grow out of it. Some men never grow out of teasing their sisters though.
  • NicholeRobb
    NicholeRobb Posts: 166 Member
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    Brothers can be horrible I agree. Fortunately mine weren't that bad, but even at 39 my oldest brother hasn't grown up and abuses me in that oh so special only around when he needs something way. He is a jerk and he is annoying...and he will probably never mature into an actual adult, but he's still my brother. As for your stretch marks, I have them too although mine are light colored. My 13yr old on the other hand is also overweight and has grown so fast in the last few yrs that her skin developed the darker stretch marks. She is a beautiful girl but I feel for her because I see her pain every time she puts on a cute shirt just to take it back off or cover it up because she is self-conscious about them. Even grown adults who should know better have made comments to her about them and I'd like to just punch them. They don't mean any harm, but the damage is done when they open their mouths. I would suggest just ignoring your brother or kill him with kindness as they say. You are beautiful regardless of any marks on your body. You know where you've been, where you are going, and the hard work you are putting in to get there. What is he doing to improve his life? Be proud of yourself. Don't let other people bring you down. All it will get you is somewhere you don't want to be...somewhere you have worked so hard to come from. Hold your head high and smile.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    He's your brother. You can punch him when he says things like that.

    Yup :)

    ^^ This too :wink:
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I have 3 younger brothers, all of them are younger and bigger than me they all to this day still gang up on me and beat me up, throw me around, give me noogies, wedgies, call me names, put me in headlocks, pick on every flaw I have etc. They are brothers... its kind of what they do. Just start doing it back to him. When my one brother made a comment over the size of my *kitten* this Christmas I looked at him and said ... yeah but that can shrink you can't re-grow your hair and walked away - I saw him tonight and he apologized and I apologized back. In the past I would have let it really hurt me that he would say something like that but honestly he wasn't TRYING to be a jerk he is just a jerk of a brother.

    The last time my one brother and I got into a fist fight I ended up with a broken wrist and he ended up with a broken nose, we try to keep it to word fights now it just makes it easier for everyone.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,671 Member
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    Dudes joke around in general. Just the other day one of my clients had broken his leg and when I saw him at the gym I said "what's up gimpy?"
    My female co worker looked horrified that I said it. Then her mood changed once she saw that we were both cracking up discussing the injury. I even said "if you don't like to train legs, all you had to do was tell me!" More laughter.

    I think women in general just take it a little more personal than men do.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I wouldn't mind him making a joke like that. I don't know. I guess I'm just more sensitive about my stretch marks.
    Guys don't mean to intentionally hurt with remarks. At the very least you know he heard you and acknowledged you. Hit back with something funny. You'll soon find a good bond with it. Understand that what he said wasn't personal towards you, so take it lightly.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,671 Member
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    not all brothers are mean. I am a brother. My sisters and I are super tight
    Wimp.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,671 Member
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    Lastly remember that if anyone ****s with you, your brother will probably be the first one to your defense.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • davem91933
    davem91933 Posts: 2
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    When you make a serious life change, you may have to leave some people. Literally or figuratively. Just for YOUR goals. Some you can't physically, like a brother, but you can mentally by disregarding what they say as invalid. This time next year when you are not the person you were and everybody goes "Whoa", you'll know. Lose your pound and a half a week...That is 78 lbs if you pay attention every day.

    "Unbelievers get left behind"

    That is the trap. It is all about control. Some people do it verbally. Those that criticize the most are those who would never attempt. They say YOU can't do it because THEY can't even get their head around it.

    You know what you want...so go do it. You'll do fine

    D
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    My little brother pretty much worships the ground I walk on. He's about to turn 18 and I love him to bits.
    I'm super lucky to have such a lovely "baby" brother.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    Lastly remember that if anyone ****s with you, your brother will probably be the first one to your defense.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    True story. When I was a kid my brother and I fought a LOT...but once when a kid was teasing me on the school bus my brother literally walked over and grabbed the kid by his shirt collar and told him to never mess with me again...but my brother still poked and pushed and teased me like crazy...he just wouldn't let anyone else hurt me lol.
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    How old are you?

    I'm 19 and he's almost 21 -___- That's why I don't understand why he acts like that.

    20? And you're expecting him to be mature? My son is 20 and has a LOT of growing up to do, including thinking before opening his mouth.

    Ignore!
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
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    My brother is a *kitten* and has been a *kitten* for as long as I can remember. Granted he's 30 and still a *kitten*, if anyone ever put their hands on me he'd stomp their head in. Siblings tend to always pick on each other, I just got use to it and learned how to have some comebacks that made him stfu

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