My wife is upset with me

halffullpgh

You two can not be eating the same things. A womans body is completely different than a mans. Have her join MFP and get some good female support and also have her go on bodybuilding.com

Agree completely. Even if he is a Jets fan.

ewhsweets

Just break up.

Okay, aside from the above clown...

I'm soooo happy that I'm on this site when I read things like this Kudos to you both for trying to lose, and double kudos to you for dealing with her! Def try not to be preachy, but yes a woman's body is completely different. So food intake, calorie intake and exercize should all be different and custom to her.

Have her join MPF.

And ROCK ON for being so supportive!!! Not many guys would.

BeWell96

In most cases, Men typically have a higher percentage of lean body mass per pound; it is our biological make-up; i.e. greater metabolism. What the foucs should be on is math or calories in/calories out. Depending on her goal, she can create a negative deficit of her daily intake for one to two lbs per week. Best to slowly take it off as the body (ie hormones, heart, etc.) can better accomodate for weight loss overtime. 3500 calories = 1 lbs of fat while 7000 calories = 2 lbs of fat. Sounds like a lot? Not over the course of one week. Cut 500 to 1000 calories per day through diet restriction and/or cardio. MFP has a calculator you can use to determine by inputting hgt/wgt/sex/age/activity level. As far as approaching your wife about this, she could very well have put on muscle with water weight as well. For example, she may have lost 2 lbs of fat and gained 2 lbs of muscle over the course of two months; not much but great progress! The scale does not know any difference. You guys might find a good place to get your body composition (skin calipers, bod pod, etc.) to give you guys a more accurate "starting line." After all the best way to lose wgt is through calorie restriction then cardio. Strenght training is a different animal with a greater need for calories (protein). Food for thought...hope this helps.

quixoteQ

You could eat a pizza in front of her to show her you're working toward equality.

UsedToBeHusky

She needs to see a doctor. She could have hypothyroidism which would make it more difficult for her to lose.

Idka81

The same exact thing, but not the attitude, happened to me and my husband a couple of years ago. We both started the 30 day shred. He lost almost 20 lbs in one month. I gained 4! Ate the same foods, etc. He is naturally well built for muscle gain. I'm not. Even thought I did shed inches during that month, it was still discouraging to see the scale tip in the opposite direction. About a year later, I began a new fitness routine which immediately helped me begin to shed weight. I did Zumba 5-6 hours a week. I lost 7 lbs in the first month with limited food watching. I realized then that I probably wasn't approaching fitness correctly. I needed some good cardio first to loose the weight. I did that for about 6 months and plateaued after loosing 14 lbs. (My goal was 20) Then I began incorporating strength training by adding Zumba Toning 3 times a week, and in a couple of weeks people suddenly began asking me what I was doing to lose weight. But the scale had not budged for me at all. Clothes, on the other hand, were no longer fitting me well and sagging. At that point I stopped my obsession with the scale.
Basically, the point I'm making is that your wife needs to focus on the goal in terms of how she looks and feels in her clothing rather than competing with you on the scale. It's impossible for men and women to compete in weight and counterproductive. Have her try different cardio exercises, find the ones she likes and stick to them. If you're making a commitment to fitness, it shouldn't be about some magical number, it should be about the overall goal of getting healthy, happy and fit. Once I stopped looking at that number, it revolutionized my thinking when it came my fitness. Hope this helps.

myofibril

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

Racheyj76

I was whining to my hubby about the same thing. The last 2 weeks we have been doing the exact same things only I have been eating less calories than he has. I have lost a big 0 and he has lost like 8 pounds and I was saying I cannot believe I have not lost even 1 pound so he told me to measure.. I have lost 3 inches in my hips, an inch off of each thigh, and inch off each arm and 2 inches on my chest. So Tell her to measure!!!

Rachel

grinner30

Just be as supportive as you can possibly be. It's not "fair", and that's what pisses her off. No it isn't your fault that it's easier for you but that's not what matters.

Be there for her, give her fun little surprises when you can, and remind her that no matter what she's always beautiful to you.

Or hide at the bar.

Or hide in the bar.

jtslim42

Just try and be supportive. It is so hard for women to lose weight especially when guys are dropping pounds like nobody's business. Good luck.

mazdauk

She might need a vitamin supplement if she is going through the menopause as the hormones which kick in encourage weight retention (according to my sister) to create a "buffer" in case of ill health. Also she needs differnet exercise, ad maybe to try something like a walk in the iddle of the day (if she can). I've been keeping just under my calories and walking to and from work plus going out at lunchtime for 20-25 mins and that has worked for me.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

I'm going to agree with this.

You aren't with her all the time. You don't stay the same weight with a calorie deficit when you have a lot to lose.

Truth: I lost weight faster than my husband, and I had a lot less to lose than he did. I got to goal weight a good year ahead of him. He was eating more than he thought, and I was not. It was that simple. When he was ready to get serious and shed the weight, he did. Again, it was that simple.

Of course we don't eat the same calories a day, not even close. We don't even eat the same foods on most days (yesterday was a painful, gluttonous exception). I did my thing and he did his.

She has to really want this and really be honest with what she's eating, weigh and measure absolutely everything, and she will lose. She's probably reading this and I don't mean to be that harsh, just really trying to give good advice.

sozisfitnow

You could eat a pizza in front of her to show her you're working toward equality.

LOl he might need self defense for doing that

Burlesque12

I understand her pain (my hubby loses waaay faster than me), but truth be told, women & men lose weight differently. Men can handle more carbs than women. She needs to probably just make a few changes. She should join some women only groups on mfp. Its great you both are doing this together, but you each also need individual plans. Good luck to you both!

amyllu

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

Not so monsewer!! Where are you from...the dark ages no doubt!!

EstiloPanama

I don't understand why some responses to questions are "Just break up."

So rude and unnecessary.

Anyway, you should try to educate your wife with literature on how men and woman are different, carry weight different, and even have her look as muscle to fat ratios and compositions. If she educates herself, it won't be a huge surprise. My fiance and I have been getting in shape, and he's doing a lot better than I but I know why so it does't bother me. She needs to up her exercise, even if it's walking.

She will get mad if you approach her in a "holier than thou" way, so you might ask her to sit down and have a serious talk so that she feels respected. It sounds silly but you should approach this carefully because you don't want to offend her.

moujie

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

Jay_Jay_

Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook.

DMW914

Help her with making a few healthier swapouts. Cut the sodium down to 1500 mg, drinking 10-12 glasses of water, less breads & grains including wheat bread, oatmeal & brown rice. Limit fruits & their juices like oranges, grapes, apples & banana's treat them like dessert. Go for the berries & honey dew or canteloupe melon. Drink green teas instead of soda's or try Zevia's (stevia sweetened no cal soda) if they have them in your area. Switch up excercise routine to alternate upper body one day, lower body the next then a combo mix of both on another. Use NuNaturals stevia or truvia instead of splenda/Equal/Sweet n' Low etc. Sweeten plain yogurt w/fresh berries & stevia/truvia instead of already sweetend ones. No prepared box lunches like Lean Cuisine & Smart Ones as the have a ridiculous amount of sodium. More water & less sodium w/in her cal range along w/a carb count of at max 50 for a least 2 weeks should give her a jump start! Good luck!

Falcon

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.