My wife is upset with me

mazdauk

She might need a vitamin supplement if she is going through the menopause as the hormones which kick in encourage weight retention (according to my sister) to create a "buffer" in case of ill health. Also she needs differnet exercise, ad maybe to try something like a walk in the iddle of the day (if she can). I've been keeping just under my calories and walking to and from work plus going out at lunchtime for 20-25 mins and that has worked for me.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

I'm going to agree with this.

You aren't with her all the time. You don't stay the same weight with a calorie deficit when you have a lot to lose.

Truth: I lost weight faster than my husband, and I had a lot less to lose than he did. I got to goal weight a good year ahead of him. He was eating more than he thought, and I was not. It was that simple. When he was ready to get serious and shed the weight, he did. Again, it was that simple.

Of course we don't eat the same calories a day, not even close. We don't even eat the same foods on most days (yesterday was a painful, gluttonous exception). I did my thing and he did his.

She has to really want this and really be honest with what she's eating, weigh and measure absolutely everything, and she will lose. She's probably reading this and I don't mean to be that harsh, just really trying to give good advice.

sozisfitnow

You could eat a pizza in front of her to show her you're working toward equality.

LOl he might need self defense for doing that

Burlesque12

I understand her pain (my hubby loses waaay faster than me), but truth be told, women & men lose weight differently. Men can handle more carbs than women. She needs to probably just make a few changes. She should join some women only groups on mfp. Its great you both are doing this together, but you each also need individual plans. Good luck to you both!

amyllu

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

Not so monsewer!! Where are you from...the dark ages no doubt!!

EstiloPanama

I don't understand why some responses to questions are "Just break up."

So rude and unnecessary.

Anyway, you should try to educate your wife with literature on how men and woman are different, carry weight different, and even have her look as muscle to fat ratios and compositions. If she educates herself, it won't be a huge surprise. My fiance and I have been getting in shape, and he's doing a lot better than I but I know why so it does't bother me. She needs to up her exercise, even if it's walking.

She will get mad if you approach her in a "holier than thou" way, so you might ask her to sit down and have a serious talk so that she feels respected. It sounds silly but you should approach this carefully because you don't want to offend her.

moujie

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

Jay_Jay_

Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook.

DMW914

Help her with making a few healthier swapouts. Cut the sodium down to 1500 mg, drinking 10-12 glasses of water, less breads & grains including wheat bread, oatmeal & brown rice. Limit fruits & their juices like oranges, grapes, apples & banana's treat them like dessert. Go for the berries & honey dew or canteloupe melon. Drink green teas instead of soda's or try Zevia's (stevia sweetened no cal soda) if they have them in your area. Switch up excercise routine to alternate upper body one day, lower body the next then a combo mix of both on another. Use NuNaturals stevia or truvia instead of splenda/Equal/Sweet n' Low etc. Sweeten plain yogurt w/fresh berries & stevia/truvia instead of already sweetend ones. No prepared box lunches like Lean Cuisine & Smart Ones as the have a ridiculous amount of sodium. More water & less sodium w/in her cal range along w/a carb count of at max 50 for a least 2 weeks should give her a jump start! Good luck!

Falcon

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.

harribeau2012

"she is very moody and is chewing my back side because I'm losing and she isn't. "

---

maybe that's where she's getting extra calories.

mandisu

"she is very moody and is chewing my back side because I'm losing and she isn't. "

---

maybe that's where she's getting extra calories.

Bwahahaha!!

slboling

My fellow male, take the chewing and support her. And she's right..it's not fair. But it's true that guys lose easier. You my friend must be the support. Do not look to her to praise you near as much as you must back her. And what I mean is to be honest with your praise to her. Let her know that you are aware that things will happen different, that you love her, and that growing old together and healthy is the greatest thing that you could ever imagine. By the way, sleep with one eye open. Good luck.

nolachick

Tell her to check her inches!!!

> get her a HRM. its easier to monitor calories burned. maybe you both have different fitness levels and are not burning the same amount of calories for the same exercises.
> try a new workout routine with her. one that will work for her (goes in hand with the above)
> definitely make sure you are both getting the right portions you each need individually.
> be suppportive and point out the difference in her body you have noticed (eg. tone legs or butt, etc)

3foldchord

She may want to try to cut her calories a little more than yours. Also watch portion sizes. Its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women...she may need to just work at it a little harder. Not fare, but it is what it is... :huh:

^^ this. ^^

Jimaudit

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Ok, so that s/h been your lead in!! Menopause does crazy things to women--she may have to get through that and then really focus on weight loss. I'm not saying she shouldn't start making positive changes, but maybe worry less about the loss and more about healthy decisions...

Oh and she is going through menopause, so you are going to get your backside chewed off for EVERYTHING!!

MeMyCatsandI

Its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women...

I'm not sure that's a PROVEN fact. However, I highly doubt you'd ever find a woman who would disagree with you!

aprilmonkey

My father, who is 25 years older than me, has lost 10 pounds compared to the three that I've lost and I've been working out WAY more than he has and eating just as well.

It just shows how men and women lose weight differently.

Definitely get her to measure her inches!

Mistyblu08

get her lifting wts- muscle burns fat fast and we women dont have much unless we are lifting....less cals for her but not below 1200 especially if she takes to wts.....stay away from bread-processed flours-sugars-diet pops.....good luck to you both:)

MightyDomo

Have her come chat with some ladies here! Honestly we all are going through our weightloss in different ways and we might be able to help her find a way that works for her rather than her getting upset in general at her lack of weight loss. You can tactfully bring it up to her and tell her about the site and the reasons why you are here and that she might find an answer to her question about why what works for you isn't working for her.

Best of luck!

stacibuk

Does she eat the same portion size as you? Because, that could be a reason

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

My husband and I are both limiting calories and I generally eat about half what he does. He's a lot bigger than I am so our calorie needs are different. I think though that it would be better if she came across this information on her own. You telling her that she needs to cut calories more than you do is probably not going to help with the whole her-being-angry-with-you thing.

fmebear

She needs to see a doctor. She could have hypothyroidism which would make it more difficult for her to lose.

Has she had a physical lately? I have hypothyroidism and it does make losing weight more difficult. I am aware of what needs to happen but it took me awhile to get diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed, I had gained over 30 lbs. Once I was diagnosed and on the medications, I began losing weight with the proper nutrition and working out. It took me awhile but I did it. Maybe having assistance from her doctor's your wife can begin to lose weight.

Just keep encouraging her! As another post indicated, do not brag about how much you have lost either.

I_see_skinny_Me

Honestly, if it were me I would not want diet tips from you. I would want and need support and affirmation that my husband loves me as I am and that if I lost weight, great, but that the effort of being healthy is a bigger turn on. Even if it's a total BS lie, it is nice to hear... ---- good luck

Valera0466

Just break up.

This is getting really old!

tikafly

.... what we eat is usually 300-400 below our daily.

Perhaps she isn't eating *enough* to fuel her body?

ndwyer0910

Assuming she weighs less than you, she should not be eating the same amount of calories as you. If y'all are eating the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I would guess that is the problem. Hormones also play a role, but calories are going to be the biggest issue.

I'm sure it is frustrating to see someone seemingly doing the same things you are and having more success than you are having, but that's why you can't compare yourself to other people while trying to lose weight, especially if you are a woman comparing yourself to a man. It doesn't work like that. Successful weight-loss takes time, patience, and consistency (in the kitchen and in the gym).

^^^ this exactly. You two should not be eating the same amount of calories. I doubt you two have the same jobs as well. Maybe yours is more physical or you do more walking. If you are feeling good then keep eating the calories you are eating. She should reevaluate her situation. With her weight and her daily activities. Not exercise though that should be adjusted daily.

CarlieeBear

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.

It's not a competition. You need to support each other no matter who's losing faster or slower. If she's like me, she needs to know you love her as she is. She needs to hear and see and feel it.

My bf and I are both working on eating better together. We each do our own thing, but are both on MFP. He never reads the forums...not even my blog posts. It's not his thing. He records his food. I'm more OCD about recording than he is. I work out. He doesn't (yet). I've lost twice as much as he has. I get crazy hormonal with PMS and suspect I'm starting menopause. We are not at each other's throats. I've logged in to MFP every day since we started using it. He's missed a lot of days. He's jealous, but uses that to brag to others (like my family at Christmas) about how diligent I am. He is my biggest cheerleader and I'm his. He's also trying to quit smoking. He's cut down by half. I'm not a smoker, so I'm working on 1 thing. I like more healthy foods than he does. I know I'm crazy fortunate to have such wonderfully supportive guy in my life!

ironanimal

She needs to work harder in the gym.