Heavy family weighing you down?

hollyroode

I love my family to death, but at least 3/4 of them are overweight (and don't really seem to mind).. We all LOVE to eat... EAT and DRINK...pizza and beer, pasta and wine, appetizers for every event...and 10 times more than we ever need. Everytime I turn around they are going out for dinner, making dinner, having drinks etc. It is so hard to keep on track when I want to spend time with my family..but it is always evolved around food and drinks! Does anyone else out there have this problem? I mean I have will power and all...but this puts it to the test!

PS. Please do not reply if you are going to bash my family for being unhealthy.. they are all aware of my opinion of their lifestyle already

SugarHi

This topic is rather interesting. Not to sound rude, but you don't want us to bash your family. Okay, though it seems like you did a good job of that yourself.


Love your family unconditionally, unfortunately we can't change them, but you can supply loads of support, and if they just won't listen to your wanting them to slow down, then let them be, and enjoy their time. I am sure this is testing for you when you're near them. It's hard not to feel like indulging... but your will power is strong so keep going!

savvystephy

Holly, my family is the same way. 1/2 Italian here! haha. They are always seeing if I ate enough. But, I think they are getting a little jealous of my progress.

mrsvezeau

Yes, I do know what you are talking about. Everything revolves around a meal... the good thing for you is that you have will power something I have not managed to control. For me my family lives a few hours away so it is only on occasion that we see them. They do not have any interest in the outdoor activities I try to promote in my children and myself, very little encouragment, so I understand it can be hard. Just stick with what you are doing and when you reach your goal they will be jealous!

hollyroode

I am absolutely not trying to bash my family.. which is why I wrote at the beginning "I love my family more than anything"

Just wondering if anyone else out there is the "black sheep" trying to lose weight and be healthy in a family that LOVES to eat.

I added that last PS. because I am not looking to hear "maybe you should talk to your family about heir eating habits and try to get them to eat healthy" everyone has to do it when they are ready.. and I find some people on these forums are very quick to tell you everything that is being done "wrong"....Just wondering how others in the same position keep there will power.

savvystephy

I added that last PS. because I am not looking to hear "maybe you should talk to your family about heir eating habits and try to get them to eat healthy" everyone has to do it when they are ready..

This is so true! My little sister (she is 17 almost 18.. jeez!) Anyway, I have been trying to get her to workout because she has been "dieting" which means just eating less stuff and losing a little weight for her future prom. But she has stopped at 10 lbs, because it is dieting alone. Anyway, she doesn't want to exercise no matter how much I give her advice too.

But you are so right about everyone has to do it when they are ready. I really didn't take care of myself until I had a mental click - now I can't imagine not taking care of myself. I just have to wait for her too. Plus it was always hard growing up and seeing my mom "diet" (but she would just say she was and never track her calories) and never lose weight.

I can see exactly where you are coming from.

molissep

I totally agree with you, however it's not my family (who are all small, except for me) but my fiance's family. They are all Italian and love to eat drink and be merry. My fiance went to his parents house on Tuesday for dinner and I chose to go to the gym instead. He came home with tons of food (rice balls, pasta, etc.) that I told him to bring home only if he was going to eat it. Well last night I got the third degree because after working out for an hour and a half I didn't want to have a rice ball, I wanted to have my grilled chicken and veggies. He went into a rant about how his parents sent it home for me and it was made with love and the whole nine. He just couldn't accept the fact that I didn't want it - not because I don't appreciate the gesture, but because I'm trying to keep myself on track! I guess sometimes the people closest to us can't understand what we are trying to do because they love us the way we are!

hollyroode

Thanks to the ladies who replied and understand where I am coming from and did not take it out of content... By the way SugarHi.. you did sound rude and if you didn't want to sound rude than you shouldn't have said what you said

savvystephy

I totally agree with you, however it's not my family (who are all small, except for me) but my fiance's family. They are all Italian and love to eat drink and be merry. My fiance went to his parents house on Tuesday for dinner and I chose to go to the gym instead. He came home with tons of food (rice balls, pasta, etc.) that I told him to bring home only if he was going to eat it. Well last night I got the third degree because after working out for an hour and a half I didn't want to have a rice ball, I wanted to have my grilled chicken and veggies. He went into a rant about how his parents sent it home for me and it was made with love and the whole nine. He just couldn't accept the fact that I didn't want it - not because I don't appreciate the gesture, but because I'm trying to keep myself on track! I guess sometimes the people closest to us can't understand what we are trying to do because they love us the way we are!

Ah! Italians! lol. I live with my Italian grandmother and my aunt right now. Whenever we are around the Italian family at dinner time I get "eat, eat eat.. mange mange mange!!" haha I have to keep saying "I ate enough! Really, I ate enough! I am full!" lol.

emberd

I'm fairly new here, but this is a problem for me too. My plan is to host the get togethers. If I host then I have some control over what is served (though my mom still brings some of the fattening stuff). Luckily, my house is the largest, so it works out. I ALWAYS make a crudite platter with veggies and pickled stuff that I love. I also don't serve alcohol because most of my famiy doesn't drink. They do like their pop though. I don't buy it, so it's up to them to bring their own. Last easter we bought a backyard volley ball net and set that up for Thanksgiving too, so we spent a lot of time outdoors (aka away from the food!). I hope that helps!

dmags

I totally get it. My husband and I are both really trying to lose weight. Both of our families are the same way. I am actually trying to figure out how to eat at the Olive Garden tonight, because it is the only place my mother will go! What kills me is that my mother has been on me about my weight since before I hit puberty but she is not supportive when I try this hard. I have lost 20 pounds, 12 on here and 8 before I found MFP and she just finally said something to me yesterday! I see her twice a week! Now had I gained 5 pounds, I certainly would have heard something! My husbands family loves to eat. I went to a barb b q and I was trying to be good. I asked them where the salad was and they directed me to a table that certainly had salad... potato salad, macaroni salad, pasta salad... the only green thing was the marshmallows in the ambrosia salad ! LOL . They never say anything about my husbands weight, many struggle with their weight too, but what kills me is that they won't acknowledge it when he does lose weight and he is trying so hard. Anyway, back on topic. I just find that when we are out or together at home, I have to bring something to the party or whatever that is healthy. If they like it, great... if not I am sent home with good for me leftovers. When we are out, I try to order healthy and I just don't make an issue of it. I don't comment on what they are getting and I don't make any comments about what I am ordering and why I am ordering it. If someone does mention it, I don't even mention the D word, I just simply say I am trying to eat healthier.

It is hard. I love my family too, but you have to think of yourself and your goals.

mvl1014

Holly,
Have you thought about carrying a post-it pad and just keeping track of what you eat? Or better if you have a smart-phone! Just pull it out jot down what and how much. Also, wait 20 minutes before going back for more. It will give your stomach a chance to know it isn't hungry anymore.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Phillips28

Holly,
I know exactly what you mean. On one side of my family, everyone is pretty much healthy...at family things they eat healthy, play sports for fun. At the other side, all most everyone is overweight, there is always lots of food, chocolate snacks, beer and just sitting around playing cards.
Everyone in my family could afford to make better choices with food, as well and start some sort of exercise. I think that if you keep telling them how you are doing with your counting calories and working out, and they see the difference in you, then maybe that will motivate them. I know that is what is working for me. I started this last month and now my mom is wanting to walk now and my sister started going to step classes, which she isn't a fan of working out. So I was impressed.
Obviously you love your family, and I think you wanting them to be healthy just shows how much you love them. But it would be hard for you to try to stay on track and still be around their eating habits. Good luck!

StephanieJ82

Seems like we have the Italians to blame here. LOL. I am also 1/2 Italian and yes my family LOVES to eat!!! That's what our lives revolved around our entire life, Good meals. My Nonna (grandma) and My dad and all my aunts and uncles are VERY big and round. I just spoke to my Nonna a couple weeks ago and she told me that she is fine with her weight. She knows she is big but she said she has been this way her whole life and she just loves 'good' food. She said if it bothers other people then just don't look at her. I TOTALLY agree. She swims and walks regularly but she also follows up with gnocchi or roast beef dinners with gravy, Italian pastries ect. Some people will never give up their food. Thats just the way it is.
But YES when I am around them I find myself saying to myself "well i guess one plate of this pasta wouldn't hurt" Then when my aunt is saying "mange" and throws another scoop on my plate I think 'well one more is fine I guess" Then the cabbage rolls, roast and potatoes come out and I am doomed...

dmags

Irish are guilty too! The food just isn't as good!

kelli_panzera

I am Italian. We ate for every funeral, birth, wedding, and any event that might come up. We are a family of drinkers and outgoing, gregarious fools. We go out to eat and my husband would complain that all we do is talk about food while we're at the restaurant! I've made my changes. They don't want to. They don't even really want to support me, because they think that would be admitting some kind of fault on their part. My family is a bunch of freaks. But God knows I love them even if i have a hard time accepting them, LMAO!!

BamaRose0107

I am southern and have to deal with this from my family and my husbands. Food and family go hand in hand and we tend to fry whatever we think can be fried. It is hard, but all you can really do is stay strong and keep track of what you eat the best way you can. I tend to eat very small portions and I don't go back for seconds. I also make sure to get in a really good workout when I know I will be eating at my mom's or in laws.

godblessourhome

both my family and my husband's family are like this. on my side, the hardest part is not trying the variety (it is usually potluck and they are ALL fabulous cooks). just a dash of this and a little bit of that adds up. on my husband's side, it is the alcohol. if you aren't carying a beer/mixed drink, lots will be said and it seems to offend them for some reason. i can usually get by without consuming too much, but if i'm carrying it around, i am going to drink it. i am weak like that. lol. it is tough because we typically spend three weekends a month with one side or the other. we have one weekend to ourselves but we have turned into big foodies and love eating out. plus, i love making gourmet meals so that doesn't help. ahhh, families. what would we do without them?

catherine1979

I can totally relate, we eat when we're happy, we eat when we're sad, we eat just because. Luckily when my family gets together it's usually pot luck, so I take a couple of things (usually an entree and a salad) so that I know exactly what I'm eating.

But the wine, oh, the wine, now that's another story...

cds2327

Right there with you. I love my family, but they all have weight issues. Sometimes i feel like i'm a weirdo because i am eating differently. I tell myself that I am setting a good example for my son, so he doesn't end up fat like me.

PJilly

Our family get togethers are very food-oriented as well. My dad set a great example for all of us his last 20 years of life, after he was diagnosed with diabetes. He would just bring his own food, and he never made a big deal of it. He just knew what he had to do, so he did it. That's what I try to do. I don't call attention to myself, but I'm not embarrassed by making better choices for myself either. If people want to know why I'm doing it, I explain without being holier than thou, and I try not to hurt anybody's feelings. I respect their right not to go on my journey, but I respect my right to stick to my healthier path.