WHY AM I STILL FAT :(

24

Replies

  • kateneyxx
    kateneyxx Posts: 59 Member
    No I see girls that are the same weight and in a size four I'm in a size 8. I don't get it

    same height here ... and What i would give to be a size 8 sweetie!!! x :flowerforyou:
  • lin7604
    lin7604 Posts: 2,951 Member
    it really is just in our heads...

    It's more than that. The Culture says look like "this." No one makes peace with that all the time.

    but if you just look at yourself and do what YOU need, you can make peace with it, that was my point. It is in our heads b/c society makes us think we NEED to look like a supermodel to look good but if we can look at our self and not anyone else, we may think different. so it is in our heads that We still are not perfect b/c of those issues, if we don't think of them, then we will be more accepting of ourselves...
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    I use to be 160 then went to 140 and when I was 140 and I would always say if I was just 120 I would be able to wear a bikini ... Now I'm 123-126 and I still feel fat and disgusting.. Should I cut more calories. I started going to the gym again two weeks ago haven't missed a day since. Please help!

    therapy
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    Without being able to you your food we can't help you with that. Without seeing a full body pics it's hard to comment on that.

    Here is what I THINK is going on based on past MFPers.

    1. you're probably not eating enough
    2. you are probably skinny fat. Let me explain before you get sad.

    All this mean is you are at a good weight but you don't have a lot or any muscle tone. This is easily fixed
    with weight lifting. Feed your muscle with the food and eat your calories and you'll see big changes fast.

    I'll give you an example.
    My trainer Dean married his wife when she was 99 lbs (5'1) and a size 6.
    She is now 115 lbs (still 5'1) and a size ZERO.
    How is this possible. She lifts heavy and eats her food.

    Now go get that body you want.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I feel like I just walked into an ED meeting.

    Few things:
    (1) I'm shorter than you and weigh more than you.
    (2) A size 8 is not big or small. In fact, telling me what size you are is useless if you don't tell me what brand/year/country you are going by. Measurements.
    (3) People suggesting that a perfectly healthy woman complaining of being "fat" might want to seek out professional help is not "rude" it's an appropriate response.
    (4) you said you just started going to the gym- don't cut your calories. You need to feed your body to build muscle. You don't want to be skin and bones. You want to have a nice healthy figure, which comes from having a certain amount of lean body mass and from a certain healthy percentage of body fat.
    (5) cut yourself some slack! You kicked *kitten* to get this far!

    Signed,

    Someone who weighs more than you, is shorter than you, and doesn't consider herself "fat"

    ^I'd go with this OP. Besides, anyone wearing those socks could not be wrong! :drinker:
  • kcatlin9
    kcatlin9 Posts: 321 Member
    How much of your diet is carbs? Shifting more to protein and building muscle may take off some of that stubborn softness.
  • You are definitely not fat. I think, you need to consider your shape. Clothing, in general these days, is not made for curvey girls. I am extremely hourglass-y and have to wear all different designers. I used to shop with a friend who is bigger than I am, but straight. Sometimes, she and I would have to wear the same size. It was hard to get over not being a size 4 or 6 when all of my friends were, but eventually, you can look in the mirror and know you look good, regardless of what that label says. Find clothing that fits your body and your shape.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I sort of suffer from the same issue, I haven't been able to fully wrap my head around my weight loss.I was also in denial about my weight gain, so I am sure it will come with time. Silly as it seems, this site helped me to see myself more than a mirror could.

    http://www.modelmydiet.com/

    I was better able to picture myself as others see me. I plugged in my starting stats and then my current stats and being able to see the difference in models helped me.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    I think you are probably skinny fat. You do not need to lose more weight, you need to build more muscle...and it will take more than 2 WEEKS.

    8213431311_eecd2df7b1_m.jpg
    gray top pics by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

    in the left picture I was 188-199 pounds. I wore a 42DD bra and size 16/18 pants
    In the right picture I am 196 pounds. I am wearing a 38C bra and 12-14 shorts.
    the difference? I have been strength training for 10 months, 2 of them HEAVY.

    get in the weight room and start lifting weights. By the time it is swim suit season, I think you will like your body much better.
  • mgram2
    mgram2 Posts: 128 Member
    I can completely relate to this.
    i'm 5'5" and I've lost 40+ lbs and now weigh 121 -- I was 118 before the holidays :/
    I feel like no matter how much weight I lose.. I still feel like I could lose a couple more.
    I wear a 0-2 in American Eagle jeans.. and KNOW that I'm not overweight.. in fact I'm getting close to being underweight.
    It really is just a mental thing.
    I've spent years and years feel like the bulky awkward girl in my own body - it's really hard to shed that image.
  • bigbird1979
    bigbird1979 Posts: 17 Member
    You'll alway want to be thinner. It's called being a woman. I had a baby 5 months ago and before becoming pregnant I was very thin. But I would alway feel fat and that I needed to lose weight ( I weighed 111) and am 5'5. Fast forward to a year later and I have 20 plus pounds still on me. And when I look at myself in pictures it's like wow I so thin. I will be thin like that again someday but weighing 135 right now isn't so bad plus I don't want to be that thin. I feel 120-125 is perfect. I just bought a swimsuit to help me get there. Funny thing is I wore a two piece last year at 9 months pregnant. I was swimming up until the day I had him. I was huge. Like 165 huge. Plus don't get caught up on the numbers. Like pounds and sizes. When you get older you'll wonder why did you waste so much time fretting over this stuff. Workout and be proud. You lost a lot of weight. Show it off wear a 2 piece.
  • Victoria2448
    Victoria2448 Posts: 559 Member
    Without being able to you your food we can't help you with that. Without seeing a full body pics it's hard to comment on that.

    Here is what I THINK is going on based on past MFPers.

    1. you're probably not eating enough
    2. you are probably skinny fat. Let me explain before you get sad.

    All this mean is you are at a good weight but you don't have a lot or any muscle tone. This is easily fixed
    with weight lifting. Feed your muscle with the food and eat your calories and you'll see big changes fast.

    I'll give you an example.
    My trainer Dean married his wife when she was 99 lbs (5'1) and a size 6.
    She is now 115 lbs (still 5'1) and a size ZERO.
    How is this possible. She lifts heavy and eats her food.

    Now go get that body you want.

    I agree with this...you need a good complete strength training program and great nutrition. This will help change your body in many fantastic ways.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    That is strange... I am also 5ft5, but I weigh 154...nobody believes I weigh 154 lbs though (people usually guess 140ish) since I can wear a size 8 in jeans.

    nice brag post. I don't think that the o.p.'s situation is strange at all. It could be just a matter of having wider hips than other women and have nothing to do with body fat percentage. Nothing we can do about bone structure. People are a different bone structure even at the same weight. Doesn't make them strange.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    I use to be 160 then went to 140 and when I was 140 and I would always say if I was just 120 I would be able to wear a bikini ... Now I'm 123-126 and I still feel fat and disgusting.. Should I cut more calories. I started going to the gym again two weeks ago haven't missed a day since. Please help!

    What is your bodyfat percentage? That will help tell you if you are being somewhat reasonable (you are skinny-fat) or you have lost perspective of what is a healthy, normal attractive female body. No don't cut calories when you have increased exercise, you need those nutrients for health, for repairing and refueling your muscles. If you starve and deprive your body it will burn muscle and you will end up flabbier not tighter and leaner, you also risk injury and overtraining.

    Don't exercise daily especially not as a newbie, train three to four times a week with rest or active recovery days between. If you wish you can still walk your 10,000 steps on rest days, easy pace split up through the day. Assuming your are fully healthy train to a high intensity, you should be gasping for air intermittently, jelly legs, sore or leaden legs the next day whenever you start a new routine. Be sure you are doing resistance not just cardio - BodyPump is a great class to learn basic free weights technique if you cannot afford a personal trainer.
  • misstoridanielle
    misstoridanielle Posts: 62 Member
    You may just be what is called "skinny fat". Make sure to incorporate strength training with your cardio. Also, like others recommended Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred is the video to go to when you're wanting to tone and lose inches.
  • Jenne1979
    Jenne1979 Posts: 29 Member
    You are not fat, you have self esteem issues. The best thing you can do is stop criticizing yourself and start to see yourself in a more positive light. As a real "fat person" at 270lbs, people that are les than 130lbs complaining they are fat irritate the **** out of me!!
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    I kind of think that the term "skinny fat" is used far too often to shame people, but I guess that a muscular build is more desirable now than in the past when "skinny fat" would just be normal.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    That is strange... I am also 5ft5, but I weigh 154...nobody believes I weigh 154 lbs though (people usually guess 140ish) since I can wear a size 8 in jeans.

    nice brag post. I don't think that the o.p.'s situation is strange at all. It could be just a matter of having wider hips than other women and have nothing to do with body fat percentage. Nothing we can do about bone structure. People are a different bone structure even at the same weight. Doesn't make them strange.

    I work in lifestyle healthcare - perhaps nine times out of ten it's body composition or fat distribution, rarely bone structure. And that is coming from someone who is average height, small chest shoulders wrists and feet, currently healthy BMI but awful bodyfat so no bragging here. Having wide hips makes you a different silhouette it doesn't make you 'fat' bones are hard little beasties.

    I encourage my clients to 'congratulate themselves and 'boast' to others about their achievements in the gym or with their diet, why should people be modest when they have worked incredibly hard? Do we want people to quietly say they just passed their honours degree when actually they got the highest grade? Or should they be proud and celebratory?

    IME it boosts their self confidence and it does inspire others to work hard/ to realise they are capable of working much harder than they have been. As a female it's so much easier for me to 'bully' female clients into trying a weight that is double or more what they have previously lifted. People don't need every comment soft soaped sometimes they need the bare faced truth.
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    One. I think you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
    Two. If you feel fat, but cardio isn't slimming you down to where you want to be, then start lifting.

    I lost weight from May to August, and got stuck....
    Started lifting, with only a small amount of cardio.
    I gained 3 lbs but went from a size 8 to a size 2-4.....I am 5'9
    Good diet and toning will tighten everything up.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I use to be 160 then went to 140 and when I was 140 and I would always say if I was just 120 I would be able to wear a bikini ... Now I'm 123-126 and I still feel fat and disgusting.. Should I cut more calories. I started going to the gym again two weeks ago haven't missed a day since. Please help!

    - you're not fat and disgusting.
    - stop doing cardio.
    - start lifting weights.
    - don't eat below maintenance.

    this will change your body in ways that dieting and cardio cannot.
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    I use to be 160 then went to 140 and when I was 140 and I would always say if I was just 120 I would be able to wear a bikini ... Now I'm 123-126 and I still feel fat and disgusting.. Should I cut more calories. I started going to the gym again two weeks ago haven't missed a day since. Please help!

    - you're not fat and disgusting.
    - stop doing cardio.
    - start lifting weights.
    - don't eat below maintenance.

    this will change your body in ways that dieting and cardio cannot.


    Exactly, cardio can only do so much. Muscle will take care of the rest.
  • cargilb
    cargilb Posts: 116
    I use to be 160 then went to 140 and when I was 140 and I would always say if I was just 120 I would be able to wear a bikini ... Now I'm 123-126 and I still feel fat and disgusting.. Should I cut more calories. I started going to the gym again two weeks ago haven't missed a day since. Please help!

    keep losing.
    your height's weight range is from 110 to a 140. why are you a size 8? is a smaller size just too tight all over?
    its hard to tell anything without having you right in front here to view.
    people tell me i am too skinny now and I wear a size 36 pants. I should be wearing a 30. I need to just keep losing.

    you see yourself naked. you know if you have fat deposits on you. just look at yourself and decide if you need to continue.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    That is strange... I am also 5ft5, but I weigh 154...nobody believes I weigh 154 lbs though (people usually guess 140ish) since I can wear a size 8 in jeans.

    nice brag post. I don't think that the o.p.'s situation is strange at all. It could be just a matter of having wider hips than other women and have nothing to do with body fat percentage. Nothing we can do about bone structure. People are a different bone structure even at the same weight. Doesn't make them strange.

    I work in lifestyle healthcare - perhaps nine times out of ten it's body composition or fat distribution, rarely bone structure. And that is coming from someone who is average height, small chest shoulders wrists and feet, currently healthy BMI but awful bodyfat so no bragging here. Having wide hips makes you a different silhouette it doesn't make you 'fat' bones are hard little beasties.

    I encourage my clients to 'congratulate themselves and 'boast' to others about their achievements in the gym or with their diet, why should people be modest when they have worked incredibly hard? Do we want people to quietly say they just passed their honours degree when actually they got the highest grade? Or should they be proud and celebratory?

    IME it boosts their self confidence and it does inspire others to work hard/ to realise they are capable of working much harder than they have been. As a female it's so much easier for me to 'bully' female clients into trying a weight that is double or more what they have previously lifted. People don't need every comment soft soaped sometimes they need the bare faced truth.

    you're saying that wider hips due to bone structure have nothing to do with pants size? well, then you're just completely wrong. i never claimed that it makes you "fat". the o.p. was complaining about being a larger pants size and i suggested that wider hips could be the issue which would have nothing to do with fat. if you take my skeleton and compare it to the skeleton of a person who has more narrow hip bones, their skeleton would wear a smaller pants size. At my skinniest as a kid, I had no fat on my hips and my hip bones jut out because there was still bone there, but no fat. I still wore a size 6. There is no way you could say that it's due to fat in that case.

    that post just said that she's "weird" for wearing a larger pants size. that person did not say how they got there or if they worked hard, just that the other person is weird. it was rude in this thread. i don't see how that post would inspire anyone.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
    You are not fat, you have self esteem issues. The best thing you can do is stop criticizing yourself and start to see yourself in a more positive light. As a real "fat person" at 270lbs, people that are les than 130lbs complaining they are fat irritate the **** out of me!!

    Why would it irritate the **** out of you? Everyone has their own issues and I'm certainly not qualified to say whether or not the OP needs counseling, but lets just assume that a 5'5" 110 pound person were on this post feeling they are hugely overweight? I'd feel compassion and want to help. I don't understand being angry over something like that. We all have our demons. If people come here for help, encouragement, anything at all, they deserve that much for putting themselves out there. People should treat others the way they would like to be treated. Anyone's comment on "I'm fat" - regardless of their height/weight is no reflection on anyone else. Have we become that ego centric as a society? I hope not!
  • MelStren
    MelStren Posts: 457 Member
    I'd like to suggest that you start lifting weights. It will tighten your body up, may even add weight but it'll change your body composition for the better.
  • MelStren
    MelStren Posts: 457 Member
    Without being able to you your food we can't help you with that. Without seeing a full body pics it's hard to comment on that.

    Here is what I THINK is going on based on past MFPers.

    1. you're probably not eating enough
    2. you are probably skinny fat. Let me explain before you get sad.

    All this mean is you are at a good weight but you don't have a lot or any muscle tone. This is easily fixed
    with weight lifting. Feed your muscle with the food and eat your calories and you'll see big changes fast.

    I'll give you an example.
    My trainer Dean married his wife when she was 99 lbs (5'1) and a size 6.
    She is now 115 lbs (still 5'1) and a size ZERO.
    How is this possible. She lifts heavy and eats her food.

    Now go get that body you want.

    I agree with this...you need a good complete strength training program and great nutrition. This will help change your body in many fantastic ways.

    I agree with both of these folks.
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
    Lets see
    5 '5 and 123-126

    Your NOT FAT !

    Get a new Mirror ! :smile:
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    you're saying that wider hips due to bone structure have nothing to do with pants size? well, then you're just completely wrong. i never claimed that it makes you "fat". the o.p. was complaining about being a larger pants size and i suggested that wider hips could be the issue which would have nothing to do with fat. if you take my skeleton and compare it to the skeleton of a person who has more narrow hip bones, their skeleton would wear a smaller pants size. At my skinniest as a kid, I had no fat on my hips and my hip bones jut out because there was still bone there, but no fat. I still wore a size 6. There is no way you could say that it's due to fat in that case.

    that post just said that she's "weird" for wearing a larger pants size. that person did not say how they got there or if they worked hard, just that the other person is weird. it was rude in this thread. i don't see how that post would inspire anyone.

    Please don't tell me what I am saying. You just erroneously paraphrased/ cherry picked my post AND the post we both commented on AND the OP's comments. Try reading what people actually post instead of what nasty and negative thing you expect to read, saying a situation is strange DOES NOT equal saying a person is weird. The OP claimed she is FAT in the title and that she felt FAT in the first post, she did not simply say she had a large pants size or measurements. Again bones are hard fat is not, most people can tell the difference on their own body.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    Please don't tell me what I am saying. You just erroneously paraphrased/ cherry picked my post AND the post we both commented on AND the OP's comments. Try reading what people actually post instead of what nasty and negative thing you expect to read, saying a situation is strange DOES NOT equal saying a person is weird. The OP claimed she is FAT in the title and that she felt FAT in the first post, she did not simply say she had a large pants size or measurements. Again bones are hard fat is not, most people can tell the difference on their own body.

    you cherry picked my post. i just answered your post based on that. the o.p. used pants size as a reason for thinking she's fatter than her friends. i said why that might not be true.

    the post we commented on was pretty brief. there was nothing inspirational about it. saying the situation is weird does equate to saying the person is weird in this case. there is nothing "weird" about the situation to begin with.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    you did exactly the same thing to me. i was just basing my post on your post that was cherry picking what i said. the o.p. used pants size as a reason for thinking she's fatter than her friends. i said why that might not be true.

    the post we commented on was pretty brief. there was nothing inspirational about it. saying the situation is weird does equate to saying the person is weird in this case. there is nothing "weird" about the situation to begin with.

    You are still doing it! That person DID NOT use the word weird they used the word strange YOU used the word weird. Weird and strange are NOT synonyms and saying a situation is strange DOES NOT mean a person is strange except in your head. I come from a family full of teachers so am reasonably confident on comprehension.