Sick and tired of Complements

cindydufield

People should think before they speak. In the year 2000 i had lost 100lbs and was almost at goal i ran into a "Friend" who said WOW look at you the last time i saw you - you were huge! (i then was 60 lbs heavier).... now since then i have gained all this weight back and every time i see this person, so now that i am 40lbs heavier that when she thought i was HUGE - can you image what she thinks now.. I have to stop and think of where it is coming from... and giggle and call her names in my head... 10 years have passed and it has stuck with me .. people need to think before they speak, they think they are giving you encourage ment - and say way to go.. but come on..

Mamakatspokane

To those of you who are mad cause people "wouldn't give you the time of day before"... make sure you REALLY are the same person...I realized the first time I lost 50lbs that the reason more people were talking to me is because I wasn't staring at the floor and hiding in the back...I was more outgoing and tended to stand out more because I had a new inner confidence. It's not always everyone else's fault.....just something to remember....

HOWEVER, yes there are a lot of nasty nasty women (sorry but let's face it, women are much nastier than men) who will only talk to you cause you lost weight and mainly to give "horrible compliments" to make themselves feel better. If you think they really mean well say thank you and walk away...if not come up with a nice one liner that's lets everyone know your done with it.

I personally hate the gushing too, especially in front of my kids. I just say thank you, I feel much healthier (to let my kids now I do it for health not looks). If they won't drop it .... I usually say nothing, give a slight smile and that's it. Not reactting to people has a great way of letting them know you are done with the conversation.

toots99

To those of you who are mad cause people "wouldn't give you the time of day before"... make sure you REALLY are the same person...I realized the first time I lost 50lbs that the reason more people were talking to me is because I wasn't staring at the floor and hiding in the back...I was more outgoing and tended to stand out more because I had a new inner confidence. It's not always everyone else's fault.....just something to remember....

Good point, never thought of it that way.

mrsyac2

We were just talking about this today at the track- that when you lose weight people tell you what they were really thinking about you... It takes a lot for me to get offended I know I was a moo cow before and I say it and i have shown my picture to people and they can't believe that I got that big.

I even got on my husbands case because when I would ask him how I looked he said fine well when I lost the weight the truth came out I told him as my husband he is the one person to tell me what I don't want to hear but need to hear. Now that I have lost weight I told him if he notices a change then he needs to say something-

I remember one day I was eating something I shouldn't have been and he says I hear you getting fatter (I know some people would be upset) I on the other hand cracked up took one more bite and put it away.

As far as real sincere compliments I love getting them- I don't get back handed comments. But lately people are telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight because my face is too thin and my response to that is my *kitten* isn't hahaha.

Also people do change when they lose weight they gain confidence so you become more open to talk and most of the time more outgoing.

kiffypooh

I find I don't like complements from some people. My mom is one I hate hearing it from. She always gushes about how proud she is of me and how much happier I seem. I always want to say, "were you not proud before?" and "I've always been this happy, just not this confident." Mine is more if it's the same person over and over and over again. I'm actually surprised my grandma (she has had eating disorder after eating disorder, totally messed up) hasn't said anything. I lost 50 lbs back in 2000 before I got married and about 2 years ago my grandma dug out this picture of me at my thinest and was gushing about how good I look, I was like, "gee, thanks grandma, you know how to make people feel good!" I've been lucky this time around, because I'm working out and not just eating right I look healthier and in shape so I get more complements on that then my weight loss, which I LOVE. I like being able to say I'm fit and to do workouts that people 50-75 lbs smaller then I am can't do.
You are doing great!! You look amazing! Don't let anyone belittle that!

natspoiledbrat

Thank you for all of your responses. I agree with those of you who said that people lack tact and are trying to be nice and it just comes out all wrong. I am totally with kiffypooh...........I don't like the complements from my mom...........actually I hate them. I've even asked her to not mention my weight loss. I've noticed that men who try to complement me are the ones who really put their foot in their mouth because they are trying so hard not to say the wrong thing and they end up doing it anyway. The other complements that I don't like are the ones over and over again from the same people. There is one lady in particular who tells me every time she sees me........."Wow! I can't believe it........you look great!" I know she really means it, but if she saw me 50 times a day, she would tell me 50 times! I have been consistently working toward this goal and just wish people would realize this is the real me and drop it. If I got a new haircut, I would hear maybe one comment from someone..........with the weight loss it just seems like its over and over again. When people go overboard it really makes me wonder what they thought of me before. I am going to just continue to smile and say thanks..............maybe as time goes on it will die down a little. As far as being a different person, I know this is weird, but I almost feel more self-conscious than ever before. I have had a problem with loose skin, only in my arms, but this has really taken a toll on my self-esteem. I think I am less outgoing than before because I have issues with this...............Again, thank you everyone for letting me vent!