Need opinions...my friend and I are debating...

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24

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  • ElizabethRaeBarnes
    ElizabethRaeBarnes Posts: 74 Member
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    Yes its possible. My boyfriend said he 'knew' after the first date that I was the one. :) We have been together 3 years now.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
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    If they've known each other for 20 years, I definitely think it's possible to fall in love. It isn't like those feelings developed overnight. Maybe now is the optimal time to act upon them
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,118 Member
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    I think it's possible. I've seen it work.

    They're going to have to find out one way or the other - no one can figure this out for them, and if you want the best for them, you'll be supportive.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    NOPE!!!! Im just keepint it real......dude is just thinking with his other head right now!!!
  • sofielein
    sofielein Posts: 539 Member
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    I would add that 16 and 18 year old kids are almost adults and want everything but spend time with their parents. I moved out at 18 and did not really want to be at my parents' until at least like 23 when I was done with the partying college stuff. Occasional Birthday and Christmas dinner and that about it was the max.

    I would not call this "abandoning". They are not helpless 5 year old babies any more who need dad stuff.
  • Kennkaru
    Kennkaru Posts: 210 Member
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    I think there is a difference between infatuation and love.
    Infatuation is that nearly-insane feeling you have early in the relationship. That wears off. There may still be moments of it from time to time, but if the relationship is legitimate, it probably won't be all the time.
    I believe that love happens when the practical and impractical are balanced, and time has emphasized both the good and the bad.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    Yup. It's entirely possible.

    Doesn't for a moment mean that they should be together, however.
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
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    NOPE!!!! Im just keepint it real......dude is just thinking with his other head right now!!!
    [/quote



    Would you travel out of state just for a piece of *kitten*?] I know I wouldn't!
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
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    My wife and I have been together 15 years so far. We've been in love since that first kiss. :smooched:
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
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    NOPE!!!! Im just keepint it real......dude is just thinking with his other head right now!!!
    We don't know details...he could have had a terrible accident and be head-count limited. Just sayin'.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
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    Yes, it is possible to really fall in love with someone that quickly. That doesn't mean, though, that they should act on it that quickly. He should see how the relationship develops before he has his job transfer him and moves away from his high school aged daughter. Just because teenagers don't want to hang out with dad, doesn't mean she'd be okay with him moving to another city/state.
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
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    The fact that he flew in from out of state to visit her for 5 days means they must have been talking prior to the visit.

    Could it be love? Sure. Can you tell in 5 days if you can make a long-term relationship work? Hell no.

    And I can’t imagine ever wanting to be in a relationship with someone who’s willing to move states away from a son or daughter who is not yet an adult. That’s just plain wrong.
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.

    I should clarify the part about abandoning his kids....they will have the option of moving down with him OR staying with their mom. He is a great father. (I know "Matt" as well)...his girls get everything they need, he spends more time with them than most fathers do, they go hunting together, takes them shopping, supports their dreams and goals....

    She has talked to the girls as well. They want there father to be happy. His oldest is moving to NY after graduation to attend FIT. THe younger of the 2 seems very excited to possibly have a "Florida" home...lol...

    She is welcoming with them and also knows his ex-wife. I think that may make it more comfortable for all of them...but he is NOT abandoning his children.

    Right now they live with their mother....but they are old enough to choose.

    When they're still under age they shouldn't have to choose to live states away from either parent.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    I think there is a difference between infatuation and love.
    Infatuation is that nearly-insane feeling you have early in the relationship. That wears off. There may still be moments of it from time to time, but if the relationship is legitimate, it probably won't be all the time.
    I believe that love happens when the practical and impractical are balanced, and time has emphasized both the good and the bad.

    Awesome!!!!!!!!!! you nailed it babycakes!!:bigsmile:
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    NOPE!!!! Im just keepint it real......dude is just thinking with his other head right now!!!
    We don't know details...he could have had a terrible accident and be head-count limited. Just sayin'.


    Thats true..his Kielbasa might be out of order!
  • Shamrock_me
    Shamrock_me Posts: 161
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    Parenting differences I suppose - One you shouldn't make your kids choose between parents. They shouldn't have to choose at any age. They shouldn't be placed in that position in the first place unless one parent is detrimental to their development. And then the courts would choose in the perfect world right? (sarcasm spot there)
    Saying it's okay to put a burden like that on a kid's shoulders is negligent parenting in my book.

    Two - in my experience and my parents and their parents and other parents - teen years are the IT years when they're more apt to go down the wrong roads. When any child would need guidance and emotional support from an 'adult' parent who isn't on the verge of checking out because they're following their penis and the belief that a job that's 75% done is done enough. People ask what's wrong with the youth today and I see this sort of thing as what is wrong with parents today.

    I'm glad my parents never 'checked' out of my life nor out of my concern as I grew up.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Whether anyone thinks it is a good idea or not, they are adults and will experience the consequences of their choices.

    The teenagers don't sound like they are being "abandoned", my husband and I moved out of state when one of our teenagers entered college, effectively "leaving him behind" but he was absolutely fine, and he didn't even have another parent around him. completed college, bought himself a home, and is getting married soon. Independence can be a gift for your young adult children.

    Love is hard to find. When you find someone who lights up your world, it's worth it to try to make that grow.

    The type of solid, comfortable love that develops over a long relationship can't be forged in 5 days, but the beginning of something special can be.
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
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    This really irks me now. How do the children feel about this? Why did things not work out with the ex wife?

    I need answers!

    The ex wife cheated on him...(like I Said I know all of the parties involved personally).

    The girls want their dad to be happy and actually told him "it's about time you found someone...you dserve it"....they are sweet girls.

    We all have known each other since high school...Matt, Dot, and me....
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    it is totally possible to fall in love with someone after that amount of time, they had not just met on the street, they talked and knew each other, the being togther for that time was just the icing on the cake.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
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    The girls want their dad to be happy and actually told him "it's about time you found someone...you dserve it"....they are sweet girls. We all have known each other since high school...Matt, Dot, and me....

    Well, then I see no problem. It's not like he just met some random stranger on the internet, fell in love in a few days and is leaving his job and family for her.

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