someone else made you fat?

Kennkaru
Kennkaru Posts: 210 Member
in Motivation and Support
I guess it's possible that your parents "made you fat" by not teaching you about nutrition and/or not modeling good eating and activity habits. There are plenty of adults who are having to re-learn "eating" and "moving" in as fundamental a way as if they were toddlers. Kudos to those who are turning their habits around and becoming healthier people.

Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here. It's okay to look back on bad choices you make and say "Hmm, I guess I let that person influence my decisions a little too much," or "that person was a bad role model" but they didn't make you fat. All of us made those decisions ourselves. We didn't always make them consciously, and we weren't always properly educated first, but no one else can really take credit for them at the end of the day.

This is good news, though. It means we don't really need to depend on anyone else to make good decisions, either. We got fat all by ourselves, and we can get fit, too. I think MFP is a great support system, and I love my pals here, but if I didn't really want it for myself, no one else could make it happen for me.

Take pride in the good decisions you make for yourself, regardless of what other people think/do. Even the little things add up over time. Don't blame others for your downfalls or you'll have to give them credit for your triumphs, too. Just think of how good it will feel to reach your goal and to know that the props go directly to you!
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Replies

  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:
  • Kennkaru
    Kennkaru Posts: 210 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:

    :) Fair enough.
  • nikbolok
    nikbolok Posts: 107 Member
    Absolutely. Accepting responsibility for yourself and not blaming others or situations will get you where you need to be :) Blame is an excuse! I got to where I was by my own free will, regardless of what was going on with me at the time. I am now undoing the 15 years of abuse I did to my body and it feels great!
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Beer made me do it.
  • jennkain97
    jennkain97 Posts: 290 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:

    YOU could learn to cook ;)
  • kali31337
    kali31337 Posts: 1,048 Member
    I definitely learned bad habits and emotional eating from other people when I was little but I was skinny during that time of my life. I definitely got much bigger when I was left to my own devices. Totally my fault here!
  • sweetlouison
    sweetlouison Posts: 6 Member
    Umm...you can learn to cook yourself...or make better choices at a fast food place...it is all your choice....

    I do not have to eat whatever...I can always make a better choice even if sometimes that choice is to just eat less.
  • DP325i
    DP325i Posts: 677 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:

    YOU could learn to cook ;)

    LOL! sorry i shouldnt laugh at that....
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Actually I had an ex boyfriend that would literally shove food into my face until I would eat it - its the reason he is my ex- boyfriend.

    And no he didn't make me fat, I was fat before that. Fat Me made me fat. I weighed between 90 - 120 pounds for a very long time (I am 4'9.5" tall its acceptable) and the fat girl in me made me feel like poo and so I ate.. and I ate... and I ate... until the fat girl in me was on the outside and the skinny girl is stuck in there somewhere going WTF?!!!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    My son made me fat.
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,115 Member
    Unfortunately the only people who made us fat is ourselves. Its a nice scapegoat and believe me I would love to blame my husband because he can eat fast food 7 days a week and not gain 1lb and I look at fast food and gain 10lbs. But he doesn't force feed me anything and I do have the ability to say no.
  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:

    YOU could learn to cook ;)

    I do. Usually.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    Love this. We sail our own ships.
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
    This is true! We all make our own choices. I was kind of blaming my husband a bit... we work together and just about everyday that he's in the office he wants to go out to lunch. So I didn't want to hurt is feelings by turning him down,(plus we don't get too many "date" nights with the kids around, so lunchtime makes up for that) or sometimes I felt that if HE gets to go out and eat I deserve to do so, too. And I always eat more out than if I had brought my lunch. So now I finally told my hubby that I can't eat out everyday and we just go out 1 or two times a week, which is a lot better than 4 or 5 times a week. Now, I'm trying to convince him to eat lunch in too, when he's not in the field.!
  • spangey13
    spangey13 Posts: 294
    Umm...you can learn to cook yourself...or make better choices at a fast food place...it is all your choice....

    I do not have to eat whatever...I can always make a better choice even if sometimes that choice is to just eat less.

    This.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    My son made me fat.
    ditto!
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    Glad you posted this today. My ex-boyfriend (who is still a friend) calls me his "special 70" since he's gained 70lbs in the time we were together. Interestingly enough, I lost 120lbs while we were together, so I hardly think it's me. Argh.
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
    Still, I don't believe that anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/ex-husband/ex-wife MADE them fat. It seems like an excuse that I often see here.

    I bet if you had my wife's cooking you would opt for fast food too! IT'S HER FAULT! :angry:

    Relationship weight is a b!tch though lol :grumble:
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
    True, nobody but me made me fat, but there were a number of contributors, especially my mother, her constant mind-set that she was fat and that I was fat and that I needed to be put on a diet when I was 7 years old. The guilt that came with eating is still with me, robbing me of the ability to just enjoy what I needed for my body and self-regulate. I'm still trying to change my paradigm regarding food and eating.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Starvation mode made me fat
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    My son made me fat.
    ditto!

    lol. I got more fat with my daughter than my son! Although I exercised all through my pregnancy with my son. With my daughter....not so much!
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
    Starvation mode made me fat

    You mean Dr. Oz, raspberry ketones, HCG, and thigh gaps?
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    I would love to blame all this on someone else, but the truth is I made me fat. I overate and didn't exercise. I got to 386 pounds all by myself. I also am getting it off with the help of a great surgeon, a gastric sleeve, the support of my husband, kids, family & friends, and my own determination to eat healthy, stick within a certain calorie goal, get all my protein and water in daily and now that I'm physically able, exercise. Here's to us group! The best kind of losers there are!! :laugh:
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Starvation mode made me fat

    You mean Dr. Oz, raspberry ketones, HCG, and thigh gaps?

    and spot reduction
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    I think you're seriously discounting the social factors that impact our weight....culture, relationships, etc. There's been a lot of research backing up the idea that our relationships and our environment impact how much we weigh.

    I agree that we all need to make decisions for ourselves and that it's quite silly to blame your weight on something or someone else as an excuse.

    However, social factors should not be discounted and it's important to be aware of what aspects of your life until this point have impacted your weight. It's important to be aware of the way we lived before if we want to make lifestyle changes instead of dieting.

    Just my 2 cents. But I'm someone who is applying to grad programs dealing with the social determinants of health (focusing on nutrition) and I get angry when people blame individuals when obesity is more complicated than that.
  • stfuriada
    stfuriada Posts: 445 Member
    My mom never did an intervention to cure me of my fried chicken dependence.
  • mis792
    mis792 Posts: 5
    I've been overweight since I was 8, and a lot of it has to do with eating habits learned from my family.
    I've always been super active but I think it's really unfair for OP to point the finger at readers and say "YOU MADE THAT CHOICE, STOP BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE AND OWN UP TO IT" be quiet with your nonsense because if I knew then what I know now, I would not be in the position that I'm in now.

    HOWEVER, I do not blame my family for any of that because I did benefit.
    I ate my mom's cooking and was super active in school, which has now made me a bit of a powerhouse; I'm big, strong and very fast for my size and that's because of sports all year round plus all that eating I did while I lived with her.

    Now I'm on my own journey, there's nobody left to blame but me and it's a lot easier to keep accountable that way.
  • kiz81
    kiz81 Posts: 14
    Im only just now finally getting my weight under control and its because iv finally stopped blaming everything/one else for me getting fat! Its funny how once i took the blame myself iv managed to do something about it!
  • Kennkaru
    Kennkaru Posts: 210 Member
    I've been overweight since I was 8, and a lot of it has to do with eating habits learned from my family.
    I've always been super active but I think it's really unfair for OP to point the finger at readers and say "YOU MADE THAT CHOICE, STOP BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE AND OWN UP TO IT" be quiet with your nonsense because if I knew then what I know now, I would not be in the position that I'm in now.

    HOWEVER, I do not blame my family for any of that because I did benefit.
    I ate my mom's cooking and was super active in school, which has now made me a bit of a powerhouse; I'm big, strong and very fast for my size and that's because of sports all year round plus all that eating I did while I lived with her.

    Now I'm on my own journey, there's nobody left to blame but me and it's a lot easier to keep accountable that way.

    Wasn't my intention to point any fingers. I thought I was pretty general and accounted for family influence. Obviously a post like this is going to turn up a person or two with a legit excuse, too. I'm a believer that exceptions can play a role in proving a rule. I'm glad to hear you're owning your journey. Best of luck!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    My son made me fat.
    ditto!

    lol. I got more fat with my daughter than my son! Although I exercised all through my pregnancy with my son. With my daughter....not so much!

    I gained 25lbs with each of my daughters. Got back to pre-PG weight after both of them. Lost an extra 20lbs after daughter #2 and before my son. Gained 45 pounds with him. Same ending PG weight.

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