The boyfriend that doesn't "get" it.

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Replies

  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    why does he have to get it?

    you're both adults. do your own thing.
    cook your own food, walk your dog.

    his choices are just as valid as yours.
    you both need to stop expecting the other to pander.
  • tinassofit
    tinassofit Posts: 54
    Download some great music, buy yourself some sexy workout wear and head to workout, make sure you come back so sweaty he gets suspicious. do it everyday. look at yourself and love yourself and respect who you are. If you do it for yourself and do it truly, he'll probably even start worrying and follow u eventually.
    :D
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    I want to respond to you asking for advice to help him realize he is "really making [you] work extra hard for something that's hard enough as it is!?" I considered the options and decided this is the best way to say it > You are really making me work extra hard for something that's hard enough as it is! I know, I'm a genius. lol. Seriously though, honesty is the best policy. Tell him there is something very important you want to talk to him about and explain this is an important new lifestyle, not a midlife crisis or a phase of your life. I love many processed foods and pizza, but I still can lose weight at whatever pace I feel necessary. I think if he wants to eat certain foods that is more your self control, but I would understand wanting him to participate in *some* part of your active new life. Just enjoy it and pray he works his way into it slowly, eventually. Use this path as a reminded that you have to take the initiative if you want change, so talk to him about how you feel and don't let him brush you off or act like it isn't an issue.
  • twomadogs
    twomadogs Posts: 14 Member
    He is feeling threatened and insecure by the new you. We guys are a bit strange sometimes.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    Download some great music, buy yourself some sexy workout wear and head to workout, make sure you come back so sweaty he gets suspicious. do it everyday. look at yourself and love yourself and respect who you are. If you do it for yourself and do it truly, he'll probably even start worrying and follow u eventually.
    :D

    tina plays games. loool.
  • heyzoos
    heyzoos Posts: 21
    why does he have to get it?

    you're both adults. do your own thing.
    cook your own food, walk your dog.

    his choices are just as valid as yours.
    you both need to stop expecting the other to pander.

    This.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    He didn't decide to do this. You did. Temptation is all around. He doesn't have to get it. You have to learn to work within the world. That includes with the people you love. It's tough, but not undoable. If you really want this, you'll do what it takes for YOU to succeed.

    I have 3 kids in my house. There is crap in my house. Occasionally I eat it. Most of the time I make the choice not to eat it because it doesn't meet my needs for the day. This is about YOU. Gotta start standing on your own here. Mine doesn't work out with me either. I've tried. I can't make him do it. It also doesn't stop me from doing it either.

    (CURRENTLY there are Girl Scout cookies in my house. I limit myself to 2 for the day, if I have any. I could have chowed down before but now I make different choices).

    I cook for a family. I make a combined meal. One or two of our sides may differ. If it wasn't for the kids, my husband and I would just fend for ourselves. Some nights we choose to do that anyway.

    Yes, it is nice to have a workout and diet buddy but it isn't crucial. I go out with my girlfriends all the time and they order the fattiest thing on the menu while I order something sensible. It is MY choice. Likewise with my family and especially my husband. He's his own person.

    P.S. This mindset dropped me from a size 10 to a size 2.

    Are YOU ready to tackle things?

    You CAN do it. What you need to say from now on is you WILL do this. Let your mind be your powerful ally.

    By the way, your mind is your most powerful tool. I used to be the most anti-exercise person there was. I realized the real obstacle started in my head.
  • kayla2709
    kayla2709 Posts: 25 Member
    You need to stay strong and stay positive! Cook what you want to cook! If he doesn't like it then he starves! it may mean you have to do a little more work but your worth it and it means your quality of life will be better and healthier!
    Don't be weighed down with his crap...he doesn't force feed you...he simply doesn't share the same journey! Thinks have a way of working out.......either you will out grow him or he will get with it!
    Best of luck!
  • Tori_gonzalez
    Tori_gonzalez Posts: 5
    i have a husband that is kind of like that...i have to remember its not his fault he can eat whatever he wants and still be stick thin...i dont want to make it sound like you have to do it on your own because you can find buddies on here or friends of yours that will help keep you motivated..but i found at least with my husband that its hard to get him to understand where i am comeing from when he never has and most likely will never be in the place i am so cant blame him for that..it just means that i have to gain alot more will power with all the temptation around me

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