Goal weight? Starting to doubt

bokodasu

Bodies are weird. They're all like, "I need energy, hey, here's a random fat cell, let's use it!" And so when you're losing weight, or have just finished losing, you get wacky-looking things like skinny earlobes. Then they settle down and go, "right, now let's reorganize and store all this stuff efficiently" and then you look normal again, just thinner.

So yes, "don't get too thin!" comments are really common, because you've got one weirdly skinny (or just unbalanced) part that someone noticed. Don't let it get to you.

I don't have a goal weight, personally, but I've got fitness goals that do require losing some weight, so I guess you could say I chose my goal weight based on where I need to be to do what I want to do.

jcstanton

Firstly, don't get too discouraged because your weight doesn't hold up to the BMI standard. The BMI charts are based ONLY on height, age, and weight. It does not take into account body type, body fat percentage and/or muscle mass, and bone density. The BMI chart says I should weigh 135 just to be in the healthy range. However, I know from past experience (before I became obese) that I can wear a size 7/8 at 145-150 pounds. 7/8 is NOT an unhealthy size. If I tried to get under 135, I'd start to look like skin and bones. A 60lb weight loss is phenominal, and think how much better you feel now. People who tell you things like, "You're starting to get too skinny," or, "Don't lose too much weight," are only saying that because you are starting to look so different than you did before. Trust me, family members started saying the same thing to me and my mom when we lost 30-40lbs each while I was in high school. We did NOT look too skinny, we just didn't look the way people had always seen us before. They weren't used to it and it freaked them out. Don't take those comments too seriously. You know where you need to be to look and feel your best.

yksdoris

I'm 5'1 and currently at goal at 123 lb. This puts me on the middle/heavier end of normal weight range for my height. I'm trying ot focus more on my fat percentage now rather than weight. Unexpectedly, I'm starting to have a problem with clothes - meaning, I have to get the smallest sizes now (NL 34, UK 6, US 4) and those aren't always available... Bizarre upside down world...

As for the naysaysers, if the numbers are good and objectively speaking your goal IS within the normal range, then don't pay any attention to them. Chances are thir body-image is so distorted they have no idea what normal is.

castadiva

Concurring with those who have said not to get too hung up on what the BMI scale says you 'should' be. It's an imperfect system, designed for poulations rather than individuals. At the end of the day, you have to take any of these 'ideals' with a pinch of salt - they simply cannot account for the marvellous diversity within the human race. You mentioned that you have an athletic build - I think you used the word 'stocky'... chances are, a healthy weight for you may be a bit higher than BMI would suggest, particularly if you have a well-developed musculature.

I do empathise with the 'don't take it too far remarks', though. My face has slimmed down more than any other part of me, and while I still want to lose another 1.5-2 stone, those numbers sound huge to anyone who has never had more than 10-15lbs to lose themselves. I say that's my goal, and they envisage someone pretty gaunt, whereas I know that the next 21-28lbs should come off the bits I'm still concerned about, and keep fairly well-hidden, lower-abdomen, upper thighs and arms, hopefully leaving me toned, and attractively slender (for my frame), whilst still maintaining my feminine curvaceousness. When I'm happy with how those areas look, which I envisage I will be at that stage, that's my gauge of what a healthy weight for me is, which, by the way, the BMI charts place mid-overweight for my height. If I aimed for 'healthy' on that scale, I'd be setting myself up for trouble.

19kat55

Though it's a crude measure, I used some online calculators to guess at my then current body fat percentage, and multiplied that by my weight to arrive at a lean body mass total. Then I used the body fat percentage I want to get to (8-10%) to back into what I would consider my ideal weight.
For example, I was 200 when I started, and my body fat at that weight was somewhere around 20%- so my lean body mass was around 160 =(200*(1-.2)). So 10% body fat on top of that would be roughly 178 =(160/.9)
So my goal weight is in the 175-180 range assuming I don't put on or lose muscle in the process. I was at 191 this morning, and it looks like there's enough fat for me to get down a good bit further.
As a side note, if you want to use a similar approach, women naturally are going to have higher body fat percentages, so don't try to get too much below the 20% range.

^^^^This, body fat percentage is a lot more important than what you weigh. I currently am at a healthy weigh but my BF is still over 30%. I had it checked in a BodPod and the person who administered the test was able to give me a lot of really useful information. I told her I would like to get down to 22% BF which is considered "Fit" or "Lean" She was able to tell me if I can put on 5 pounds of muscle you need to weigh _____ to be at 22%. She gave me several scenarios. And I asked her if I do not put on any muscle what would I need to be at. She told me the number and then said "You will get a lot of people telling you that you are too skinny if you get down to that weight." So it really is about lean body mass vs. fat. Shared that information with my trainer and I now lift 3 days a week and do cardio four days a week. Bottom line, if your health is the main reason for your pursuit, focus on BF %

rnprincess

Hi there - I started my weight loss journey at 255 lbs. I am currently 241 pounds and 5'7. So BMI says I should be 159 lbs at most. I know my body MUCH better than a crude assessment tool, so I set my goal weight at 185 lbs. To a lot of people that will seem incredibly high, but I know I will look and feel my best at that weight, and it is a reasonable, realistic goal. I've been over 200 lbs since I graduated high school, and I remember what 200 lbs looked like - I was not fat. I think when making goals, you have to take so much more into consideration than BMI, or any other single factor for that matter. I know it sounds cliche but when you feel it, you will know it's the right weight.

On another note, congratulations on your weight loss to date - and do whatever makes you feel the healthiest - don't worry about what other people say (or what BMI says).

This is so true. The BMI charts are a great starting point but variables need to be factored in, muscle mass, health. My current goal will leave me in the overweight category. But at 5'6, and 49 I have not been under 200 pounds since I was 15 years old. So I based my goal on what I and my doctor feel are suitable for me. As I get closer to my goal I will re-evaluate.
Best wishes on your success so far!

bumblebums

Thank you for the comments...

I agree, I am not stuck on a number and I also agree with the comments that people aren't used to what I look like now. I definitely have an athletic build. I am more stocky than anything. So, I know I have quite a bit to lose.

I started this to get my blood pressure down. It is not working like I had hoped. The bp is still considered high especially since I am on 2 different meds for it. I do feel better.

People say stuff like "don't get too skinny" just to make conversation because they can't think of anything more intelligent to say. I wouldn't talk to people about weight goals, but instead mention that you are doing this for better health and that you are not quite where you would like to be. Which is both true--according to what you say above--and unassailable as far as goals go.

yoovie

my goal weight is liquid.

i set myself an original goal weight that was at the top of the healthy BMI weight range.
Then when I got there, I switched to focusing on my body fat - which meant my weight would still go down, but my size would change far more.
Other people will always say these things. They are so used to people not following through on weight lsos and fitness, they just kinda dont know what to say.

that should be the least of the things you worry about. Worrying isnt fun. Celebrating and discovering are.

Tell them that youre excited they can see your progress and that from here on out its not about weighing less, but about being stronger.

they should be able to appreciate that without being concerned.

*im sorry if any of this message is offensive.

AngelaH10

You are getting healthy and there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to get down to 135 lbs! Keep at it girl!!

MinimalistShoeAddict

If someone asks my goal weight and I do tell them, they are saying I shouldn't go that low because I am going to be too skinny. I know this is not true. But I am definitely getting a lot of comments.

My advice is not to worry about other people making these comments. Your goal weight is a healthy one.

Once you approach your goal however, perhaps body fat % would be a better metric to track than BMI. Doing more strength exercise will help protect more of your muscle mass as you are losing weight.

Congratulations on your great progress so far!

mattschwartz01

My goal weight is 190 and people say, "Are you sure about that?" I want to say, "I don't see the letters M.D. after your name" but instead I say that I am on a medically managed weight program and a doctor set this goal for me. That is usually enough to end it but if they persist, then I have to step it up a bit.

T7886

I think your goal weight should be based on muscle tone and body frame. I am 5'3" and the dr.'s say my goal weight should be 118 - 122 on the high side. I weighed 118 entering 10th grade, and every rib showed. I have a large bone frame, so they obviously missed that one, and 4 lbs more did not cover that. Personally, I think your goal weight should be what you are comfortable with. I know that I will never be smaller than a size 16 b/c of my bone size, and I don't want to look anorexic just to please others.

squatsandlipgloss

People and their comments... My goal weight is anywhere between 180 and 185, and when I tell people I have 50 more lbs to lose now, they'll say "there won't be anything left of you!" lol they have no idea.

I came to this goal because that's the weight I was at when I last felt good in my skin and healthy (I exercised a lot also during that time). But I might change the goal up or down a bit as I am approaching it.

felicia8604

Just remember you are doing this for you! Dont worry about what every one else says. Im currently about 163, im 5'5 and my ultimate goal is about 145. People tell me all the time i dont need to lose weight but they never see me naked! yuck! lol ..... Just do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good. Others might be just jealous of your success also. Keep up the good progress! you look great!

jimmmer

I dont have one.


I am more concerned with the reflection n the mirror and how my clothes fit.

This^^^^

The scale is ultimately useless - because bad diet/exercise practices can lead to you losing a lot of LBM, hence your scale weight is going down, but ultimately the aesthetics will not match your idea of how you should look at a particular weight.

I see a lot of scale obsession on this site, but you can't rely on it, you have to track different metrics like bf% rather than some arbitrary number you think you should weigh

waldo56

An observation:

Most women set goal weights based on what others think, a weight they once were, a BMI chart, or how much they heard someone weighed that they want to tbe same size as.

Men go though a progression of "some number way far away" to calculating at which point they should have a 6 pack and using that.

This is one place where women could learn a lot from men. I think Yoovie was the only female to mention an interest in body fat and composition moreso than simply a scale number. The object of losing weight for most people is to lose fat and look better, not simply to make the number on the scale go down; these are NOT the same thing. At first they are mostly the same, but as you get leaner these items begin to strongly diverge to the point where weight has very little relationship to body composition.

micheabr

I don't tell people my goal weight because it's my body and it's none of their business what I do with it

mattschwartz01

An observation:

Most women set goal weights based on what others think, a weight they once were, a BMI chart, or how much they heard someone weighed that they want to tbe same size as.

Men go though a progression of "some number way far away" to calculating at which point they should have a 6 pack and using that.

This is one place where women could learn a lot from men. I think Yoovie was the only female to mention an interest in body fat and composition moreso than simply a scale number. The object of losing weight for most people is to lose fat and look better, not simply to make the number on the scale go down; these are NOT the same thing. At first they are mostly the same, but as you get leaner these items begin to strongly diverge to the point where weight has very little relationship to body composition.

Good observation. Weight is only one facet of health. Take into account neck size, waist size, body fat composition, and also how you feel overall. Is your blood work normal? Is your HDL/LDL level a good ratio? Do you have a healthy blood pressure? Are your triglycerides normal?

EmmaReed84

I am 5ft2" and started here at 143lb wearing very tight size 12's (UK)

I set my goal at about 110lbs, I only have a very small frame, and I was that size before I had my babies when I was 21.

However I am now 122lbs and very comfortable in a size 10 (UK) I am happy with my size now (although the ticker has my new goal of 119lb) I have now stopped worrying about the number on the scale, but do weigh regularly to maintain my weight.

I am now concentrating on my shape. So my advice would be, although it is good to have a number in your head, don't set it in stone, you may find you reach the size you like but be heavier on the scale, also if you work out you may find that you are losing fat but not necessary weight.

People who say "Don't get too skinny" I usually say, I am not trying to get SKINNY, I am trying to get healthy.

mzjessicaxo

I am 5'4, UGW for me is 125. I really don't think you will look "too skinny" just make sure to keep up strength training

sonograssa

Every body type is different. I am 5ft and currently weigh 138. I would like to get to 128 as there is where I look the best. Problem is that as body changes losing too much weight can make us look older and "too skinny." Plus, lots of my weight is in the belly that remains after two C sections. Further, I have full breasts...sure some weight is there but no problem if they stay.

So look in the mirror and see what you look like and let that also be the judge. Not every BODY looks good at the same weight.

One more thing...if you use weights, remember muscle weighs more than fat.

SemperAnticus1643

I am 5'8" tall and weigh around 161. In high school I weight 125 and was around 14% body fat. My "goal weight" is 143 ALTHOUGH the number on the scale isn't what my final goal is. My final goal is to be between 20-22% body fat. I am currently at 30.8%. I say this because I can drop down to 143 but I could also be what is deemed as "skinny fat" where I just have too much body fat. I would recommend lifting so that you burn fat and build muscle. Keep in mind that muscle is leaner than fat. So the scale may not say what you want it to say BUT you are more toned and your clothes fit better and you will look better naked. I was told when I went in to see my trainer that based upon weight alone, the goal weight was 146 but if I build muscle then it may be more but the BF% will be down.

What I'm getting at is "haters are gonna hate" so don't pay them no mind. It's your body and you know what feels comfortable to YOU. Probably focus more on the body fat % opposed to the number on the scale. I think there is the tape test, the caliper test and I was told of a DEXA scan that is the most accurate. Either way, GOOD LUCK on your journey!!

yamsteroo

When it came to setting a goal weight I looked at my BMI and checked what a middle ranking of the healthy bracket was so I'd have a rough guide. So 133 is my goal.

If I'm honest though, my ideal weight would be 120 as this was the weight I was when I felt best about my body shape BUT I'm also aware I've crashed through the menopause after surgery 7yrs ago and I'm 44 not 30

cubbies77

I picked mine (157) because it's an even 200 pounds lost, and I like round numbers.

I weighed 165 in high school and had decent muscle definition. I was a little pudgy in the belly, hips, and thighs, though (pear shape), so I could have lost another eight pounds pretty easily without being underweight. So, again, 157 seems good.

For my frame, the top of the BMI scale is 154. My doctor recommended 150, based on my measurements and frame. Considering I want some muscle definition and a healthy body fat percentage, 150 seems about right.

Basically, once I get to 157, I'll reassess. I'd rather have a healthy body fat percentage than wear a certain size or weigh a certain amount. If I get to 150 and fit those guidelines, great. If I can do it at 145, great. If I'm there at 160, that's fine too.

As for the "too skinny" comments, I see my friend going through that right now. To be honest, I was pretty surprised when I saw her after she'd lost weight. I thought she looked too thin, but then I realized 1) I'd never seen her that thin, so of course it was shocking and 2) most people are so used to people being a little bit overweight that a healthy weight does look pretty thin in comparison to all the other people on the street.

Once I looked at her objectively, I saw she was healthy, just much, much smaller than I was used to. I wasn't used to seeing her collarbones, so she looked "bony" to me, even though they weren't protruding that much. I just wasn't used to seeing them. She's actually quite far from "too thin". She's been doing Insanity and P90X, so even though she's lost another few pounds since then and now wears a size 2 (which I never thought possible with a pear shape), she has great definition and looks really healthy. She looks awesome. She definitely inspires me since we have the same body type and love/crave all the same foods. I'm proud of her. I felt bad for thinking she was too thin initially, but she understood that I was just surprised. Now that she's been that weight for several months, I barely even notice. I'm used to her being that size, and it looks "normal".

Sarahmeridith

Im trying to get to 160 which is actually still above what would be a healthy BMI, but at 160 because of my height I am was very skinny, so personally I dont really think I want to try to get much below that. Its whatever you feel good at and like yourself at really.

neacail

I certainly don't see your goal weight as being too low. My goal weight is roughly the same as yours, and I'm five inches taller than you. I have a small frame, arthritic knees, and my weight-loss is guided by my physician.

Will some of the people I know start screaming that I'm too thin? Absolutely. Will they question what I'm eating? Yes. Will they tell me I don't need to worry? You bet. Will they tell me I looked better 10 pounds heavier? Yup.

My physician will pat me on the head, tell me I've done well, and hopefully tell me that I don't need to go on meds or get fluid injections into my knees.

I'm more concerned about what my physician and I think, versus the ladies I know who complain about their fat, and their aches and pains, but won't do anything about it.

agstone1

I thought it was just me! I have NEVER been at a normal weight as an adult. I'm 5' 7" and my highest weight ever, was 328lbs. So, friends and family were only familiar with the "heavy" Angela. In 2007, for the first time, I lost weight all the way down to 139lbs, which is no where near unhealthy. When I met new people, they acted as if I was a normal human being. But, most family and friends commented and insisted I was "unhealthy, anorexic, and looked bad." My own Mother said,"I don't like how your face looks." Well, I gained back up to 225lbs and, of course, the comments stopped and the new mantra became, "We don't think of you as heavy. We love you because you're you." Fast forward to today. I am back to taking care of myself and my health. I've lost 25.5lbs since January 2013 and I am prepared for the negative comments as I get closer to goal. I plan to simply smile and reply, "I appreciate your concern" or "Thank You for sharing". I will not try to explain to the Harpies that I feel good at a lower weight or any other benefits of my weightloss, that only sets me up to be nagged. * Stay true to yourself.

neacail

I will not try to explain to the Harpies that I feel good at a lower weight or any other benefits of my weightloss, that only sets me up to be nagged. * Stay true to yourself.

Love it.