Absolutely livid at husband!
Replies
-
Your husband sounds just like my EX husband did! :bigsmile: Seriously, he shouldn't talk to you like that. Maybe in his own strange way, he thinks he's helping you? I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. You should've eaten what you wanted to eat. If you are staying within your calories then you can have whatever you want.0
-
I don't know your husband, so it's hard to judge....but my hope is that he just loves you and wants you to be happy--and thus wants to be supportive, but doesn't know how to go about it. My husband commented on the things I was eating ( it happened to be one of my 'cheat' items, a piece of pizza for dinner one night), and I told him flat out- 1. You have no idea what I have or haven't eaten today..so don't judge what I'm eating ( I was still under my calorie goal for the day). 2. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel like you're judging me; I don't like that and 3. If you are trying to be supportive, here's how you can do it- and I gave him 2 or 3 things that would help me. If I were you, I would just lay it out for him like that. I did with my husband, and he no longer makes silly comments about what I have/haven't eaten! Good luck!0
-
I had the sme problem with my husband making comments about the amount of food I was eating and how often I was eating (5-6) times a day. I ignored his comments bad continued with what I was doing and proved him wrong. Now he keeps his mouth shut because he sees the improvements I've made.0
-
I had the sme problem with my husband making comments about the amount of food I was eating and how often I was eating (5-6) times a day. I ignored his comments bad continued with what I was doing and proved him wrong. Now he keeps his mouth shut because he sees the improvements I've made.
This......action always speaks louder than words0 -
Stop quitting everything. You are going to quit cause your husband, cause people on here are "mean." Who flipping cares hat people whom you have never met and have no direct affect on your life say?? STOP QUITTING!!
You *give* others waaaay too much power of you. Go to your room, rummage around your undies drawer, find the panties that make you stop whining and be strong, and go put them on!!! And then accept responsibility for your actions and what goes in your mouth (just like your husband is responsible for any dumb stuff that comes out of his). Sheesh.0 -
Stop quitting everything. You are going to quit cause your husband, cause people on here are "mean." Who flipping cares hat people whom you have never met and have no direct affect on your life say?? STOP QUITTING!!
You *give* others waaaay too much power of you. Go to your room, rummage around your undies drawer, find the panties that make you stop whining and be strong, and go put them on!!! And then accept responsibility for your actions and what goes in your mouth (just like your husband is responsible for any dumb stuff that comes out of his). Sheesh.
I agree I get too emotionally upset by people and I am working on that every day. I am definitely not quitting now, have lost more weight and the people who came on here criticising my diet can just p..... off.
The reality is I have been a compulsive overeater for a few years and even though I am still having some junk in my diet it is one hell of a lot better than what it was! And I have lost weight! I think it is absolutely pathetic people coming on here criticising the fact I still eat some junk. I am making big improvements and seeing results.0 -
Let your frustrations fuel your motivation to be successful. That's what I did starting out and went from 287 to 223 lbs.0
-
Tell him to ZIP IT! and if he can't say something supportive not to bother... Nit-Picking isn't helpful. I Agree that you need to ignore his comments, b/c he may just be trying to make you fail!!! BE A DUCK!! Let it roll off your back!:flowerforyou:0
-
Next time he says something just stuff those crisps or whatever the hell you were eating in his mouth to shut him up then prove him wrong.
He is probably just trying to help you but is too stupid to realize it's coming out the wrong way.0 -
Let your frustrations fuel your motivation to be successful. That's what I did starting out and went from 287 to 223 lbs.
that is an excellent comment. i will!0 -
Prove to him what you can do
feel good about yourself, he's saying that because he probably hates the thought of you loosing weight!!!! 0 -
Tell him to eff off and to keep his opinions to himself..thats what I do to mine
0 -
My husband keeps saying "When you get skinny, you are gonna leave me." I have to admit it pisses me off but I mostly just ignore him. I think as wives we really have to overlook things they say sometimes. I am sure my husband and yours are just a little jealous and insecur. Tell him like I tell my husband "You hurt my feelings now you should apolofize and try not to do it again". Good luck and keep working on your weight and your marriage.0
-
There are too many people out there that think negative or "constructive criticism" is the way to motivate someone... I know for myself I don't work that way and when someone gets nasty with me I usually react in a non constructive way.
I agree with most everyone who has commented so far, do your own thing, log your food, you know what you're allowed in a day and he doesn't need to be mean and nasty about it... If you we're eating a Big Mac every night before bed I might understand him making a comment and wanting to help, but having a snack is completely acceptable. I usually have a cup of multigrain Cheerios with my evening tv programs... And I'll be damned if anyone is gonna stop me lol0 -
Are you losing weight for yourself or for your husband?
Have you talked to your husband about MFP and showed him how it works and how you can figure things like crisps into your 'diet'? If not maybe try that route. I think what happens is when you tell your spouse you are on a diet and wanting to lose weight they think that gives them permission to watch everything you eat.
Example: Last night I said to my husband - I'm going to have a small bowl of butter pecan (1/2 fat) ice cream. He looked at me and said why would you do that if you are trying to lose weight before our trip. First off I could have said because I want ice cream - end of story. I decided to fill him in on my day. First I didn't have a chance to eat much while at work because I was busy all day so I had more calories for dinner than usual. Then I also explained that I did an Insanity workout and Aqua Zumba and that I'd still have positive numbers if I ate the ice cream. After that he understood and didn't say another thing about it. Sometimes it's just a matter of explaining what you are doing to them to help them understand better.
Don't be so quick to drop everything because someone says something to you. If I did that I would have never lost weight.0 -
I would 'IGNORE HIM'. Since you knew you were within your caloric range, it would not have mattered what husband says. I'm sure he didn't "mean" to offend you and lots of ppl don't mean to offend those dieting...they cl themselves "helping" but if you know what you know about what you're doing, just politely say, "thanks for the concern but I got this", smile, and keep it moving
Dry your tears lady and put on smile0 -
First I have to say is that you need to eat more calories in the morning so you will be less hungry at night...Ask anyone... your body needs time to burn those calories...Eat most of your calories for breakfast and lunch and then eat a small healthy dinner...with lots of veggies that will fill you up... You can do it... And tell your husband until he gets on the cover of GQ....He has no room to judge...0
-
my husband and i are both active duty air force. He has always been scrawny his whole life and wants to gain weight. So he always nit picks me when i diet and keep track. Its hard for me to have so much self control when he CONSTANTLY snacks on little debbies and donuts and chocolate and everything else. I just tell myself that im done making excuses or saying 'this is just how i am'. im not doing this for him or anyone else...im doing it because i wanna feel proud and CONFIDENT.0
-
I went through a similar thing with my wife, she thought she was trying to motivate me but in actual fact making me feel like a failure which made me somewhat down on myself and then I would do what any self respecting dieting person would do...EAT!!! I had to confront her on a few occasions which would end up with her getting ticked at me. Evenatually, when my daughter started this program she went through the same thing with her. I told her it was HOW she was saying things. Let's face it when we are first starting to diet we are looking for any excuse to go off of it. Eventually she saw how I was losing and she became more positive towards the way I was losing weight and am happy to say she is very motivational now. Just don't give up and DON'T give in!!! Stick with it and do what you feel is right for you to lose the weight as only YOU know your body.0
-
I don't even tell my husband when I'm dieting. He brings home Oreo's or ice cream and will sit and eat it (in front of me), but I've come to realize that I don't have to eat like he eats. I have the power, and I'm worth it, to choose healthier habits for me. I had to quit smoking while my friends continued to smoke. I look at eating the same way. there are always going to be food commercials, fast foods, and saboteurs ~ but you are stronger than that! When you know better, you do better!!! You keep doing what you're doing!!!
You go girl!!! Best of luck!!! 0 -
Are you losing weight for yourself or for your husband?
Have you talked to your husband about MFP and showed him how it works and how you can figure things like crisps into your 'diet'? If not maybe try that route. I think what happens is when you tell your spouse you are on a diet and wanting to lose weight they think that gives them permission to watch everything you eat.
Example: Last night I said to my husband - I'm going to have a small bowl of butter pecan (1/2 fat) ice cream. He looked at me and said why would you do that if you are trying to lose weight before our trip. First off I could have said because I want ice cream - end of story. I decided to fill him in on my day. First I didn't have a chance to eat much while at work because I was busy all day so I had more calories for dinner than usual. Then I also explained that I did an Insanity workout and Aqua Zumba and that I'd still have positive numbers if I ate the ice cream. After that he understood and didn't say another thing about it. Sometimes it's just a matter of explaining what you are doing to them to help them understand better.
Don't be so quick to drop everything because someone says something to you. If I did that I would have never lost weight.
This is a good answer.0 -
Ok this is going to sound harsh, but the only person to blame for your diet failing NOW or in PAST is YOU!!!
You have the ability as an adult to make your own choices about what you eat when. If you know what you are doing is right just tell him and then tell him to butt out.
It sounds like he knows he can sabotage your efforts so just don't let him. Please take responsibility for this you can do it for yourself.
I am not intending to sound hard but I had exactly this. My husband was a feeder / sabotage of all my efforts and when I eventually stood up to him and lost my weight (8 stones 5 years ago) he promptly up and left me. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Please take control, you can do this.
Good luck
Jules xx0 -
I started MFP on the 7th January and things have been going really well. Apart from a few hiccups have stuck to diet for over 12 days now and have lost 3lb.
I take medication at night which causes a massive increase in appetite-this is the reason I gained weight in the first place. What I have been doing is having 200 cals for breakfast and lunch and then eating in the evening to use up the rest of my allowance as otherwise I cannot sleep due to hunger.
Did brilliant yesterday and saved up 700 cals for the evening, but when I reached for a bag of low cal crisps my husband started "well this is a useless diet,.....you cannot be THAT hungry...I thought you wanted to lose weight".
I decided to leave the crisps and have spent all last night awake and hungry.
This morning I have been in tears and have told husband I might as well quit diet as he is using it to bully me.
Last time I was on a successful diet I ended that too because of my husband as he made a big issue out of eating 5 tic tic sweets.
Just really upset and angry now. He insists he is not bullying me and is "just trying to help".
First let me start by saying you should not be thinking of this as a diet, but a lifestyle change. Diets are temporary. Now that being said, did you explain to him how the site works, how if your food fits into your macros for the day, you can eat what you want?? Maybe show him the sight and how you log food, how it tracks, etc, and if all else fails, remember you are doing this for you, no one else, but you and you can't give up everytime a little negativity comes your way.0 -
... don't eat crisps. /endthread0
-
First I have to say is that you need to eat more calories in the morning so you will be less hungry at night...Ask anyone... your body needs time to burn those calories...Eat most of your calories for breakfast and lunch and then eat a small healthy dinner...with lots of veggies that will fill you up... You can do it... And tell your husband until he gets on the cover of GQ....He has no room to judge...
I'm anyone and that's just silly. If she's hungry at night then she should keep them for the evening. I eat all day, but I save the lion's share of my calories for the evening because that's when I crave the lion's share of my calories. I've don't this quite successfully for quite some time, because my wine and chocolate don't come cheap.0 -
I decided to leave the crisps and have spent all last night awake and hungry.
Last time I was on a successful diet I ended that too because of my husband as he made a big issue out of eating 5 tic tic sweets.
These two statements are what struck me the most; you're letting his reaction to your choices dictate your course of action. Something I once learned is, (and it's a hard lesson to take to heart) no one has control over what you say, do or feel. That's all on you. Again, it's a difficult thing to take to heart, because it's a natural human inclination to blame our choices on someone elses words or actions because of how they make us feel.
You have every right to be upset by your husbands words and lack of support, but in order for you to be successful in this endeavor, you need to accept responsibility for your choices, regardless what he thinks. You have to dig that strength out from the recesses of your inner self, and use that to ignore his lack of support.
All the best to you!0 -
He made one comment and you flipped? Hmm. You need to thicken up, my dear. Support doesn't always come in the form of hand holding and rainbows.0
-
Oh man, he is backseat dieting you Oo.0
-
dont look at it as a diet but a life style change. sec tell your husband to shut up.
you need to do this for you not him. drink more water on the days you are feeling extra hungry and grab some fruit. so reason for you to stay up all night hungry and crying. eat fruit drink water and go about your night happy.0 -
I'm sorry, but are you doing this for him or you?
Don't sabotage something you want out of spite. That's childish and stupid. Sure, he upset you and he shouldn't have, but by giving up all together you're saying, "Well, if you're going to annoy me I don't want a better life for myself, so there."
Which is stupid.
Don't you agree?
Exactly.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions