Your support/relationship

Ashuhbear

Your significant other. Do they help you in any way? Are they doing this with you? Or are you on your on with your diet and fitness goals?
I am feeling alone in this...My boyfriend doesn't respect my choices, nor does he intend on changing any of his. He doesn't care that I want to eat better, or try helping me achieve my goals. Our relationship is honestly plumetting since I started the idea of bettering myself.

Guess I'm just wondering how other people's support is...:-)

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inb4 "just break up"


Really though, if he's being a detriment on purpose, you may want to consider some relationship changes. More on topic though, I don't have anybody other than some awesome MFP friends to motivate me. That's all I need, really.

trogalicious

My wife and I both are doing this. It's a "we're doing this for us because we're kinda awesome and wanna be around longer together" type thing.

If your boyfriend isn't supporting you, then you don't have to worry about doing this for him... just do it for you. If he doesn't wanna stick around for the ride with a healthier, happier girlfriend, that's his loss.

Besides, at the end of the day, it boils down to you making yourself more awesome... for YOU, not him.

cuterbee

My hubs is supportive -- but I've had to go back to doing all my own cooking.

fitthatweddingdress

I would just be completely honest with him, and let him know how important this life change is to you. He may not want to change his eating habbitts but that doesn't mean that he can't support yours. Even going for a walk and talking rather than sitting and watching a movie every once in a while. My fiancé is in really good shape but he still will go for walks with me or only eat fast food with his friends and not around me bacause he does not want to tempt me! Overall the major key is completely honesty and if he still doesn't support you after knowing how important this is to you! This is easier said than done, but you deserve not only a healthy body mind and spirit but a healthy relationship as well

hellraisedfire

that doesn't sound very helpful if someone is against you bettering yourself...

toi2729

My husband's along for the ride because I'm making changes that affect him as well. Is he completely on board? No, he's still consuming his regular amount of food (which is a lot!), but he's walking/moving more along with me which is helpful. I did have to talk with him about his tendency to offer me food, shove food at me, keep food in front of me after I already declined (impulse control issues). I'd agree with trogalicious, you're doing this for YOU not him. If hes actively working against you though that's something that needs to be discussed/worked through.

goron59

My missus is semi supportive. In my goals, certainly but doesn't want to be part of the process, but that's ok.

For you, it sounds like you need someone in your like that cares about you, regardless of your healthy/fitness goals.

QuietRain

My SO is supportive.. but he does set up sabotage along the way.
I think the thing that pisses me off the most is when he offers me food [a bite of this, that, or the other] and I'll turn it down, he'll snicker. He doesn't mean to [so he's said] but, it feels like I'm being mocked which downplays feeling good about having willpower to say 'no'.
Aside from that, he's happy to cook healthier when we're sharing meals, happy to listen to my rambles and rants, happy to celebrate my little victories and happy that I'm happy to make these changes for myself.

He's even happy to join a gym with me at some point. So I should count myself lucky, in spite of his 'mocking'.

edit:: If your SO is being more less than supportive [or even understanding] maybe he isn't worth the end result. I'm not saying break up though, maybe try talking things out, get him to see your side / how it's making you feel. I hope things change for you.

susannahsutton1

He is sort of supportive, but forgets sometimes. I am losing weight I put on recently. I did a big hike today and was wriggling into my waterproof trousers that I haven't worn in a while. He said "oh dear, have they shrunk?". While in hitting distance. After I smacked him, he went out and bought me flowers :-). Just remember, boys can be rubbish because they are boys, regardless of their age according to their birth certificate. If they are unsupportive, you have to take control. Do all the food planning and cooking and they will eat what they are given. He laughed once when I was weighing something. My response was it is weighed dinner or no dinner. He shut up. In return, he is getting first dibs on what to watch on television.

lilmissbamaqueen

My BF is very supportive. He tells me all the time how proud he is of me. We're gonna be moving in together soon, so we'll see how that holds up when he's around it all the time. lol...

RobinC37

Your significant other. Do they help you in any way? Are they doing this with you? Or are you on your on with your diet and fitness goals?
I am feeling alone in this...My boyfriend doesn't respect my choices, nor does he intend on changing any of his. He doesn't care that I want to eat better, or try helping me achieve my goals. Our relationship is honestly plumetting since I started the idea of bettering myself.

Guess I'm just wondering how other people's support is...:-)

My boyfriend is just like this! The other day he told me "Do I look like I need to lose weight? Then don't put me on your diet."
He used to be very overweight; I have no idea how he lost it. He doesn't talk about it with me and it was before I met him.

I try to explain to him that it's about getting fruits and vegetables and things that are good for you instead of living off a bacon double cheeseburger and 5 liters of Pepsi every day. Even though he's skinny now, he's clearly unhealthy, never works out, and plays video games all day. It's especially tiring because I usually have to cook two completely different meals and grocery shop from two lists. He's also really picky.

I'm trying but it's wearing on me. Unfortunately I think this relationship is coming to it's natural end. I just can't see myself marrying someone who doesn't give a whit about their health. It sounds cold, but I'm not going to marry someone who will be a financial burden on me in 10-15 years with health problems, high insurance cost, and lowered life expectancy. I can't live my life with someone who doesn't share my values of health and activity.

fotofreak01

My husband is one of those lucky people that can eat horribly all the time and never gain an ounce. He is 40 years old and looks like he may be 30, if that. He is a firm believer of the 3 C diet. Candy, coke and cigarettes...lol. He does not purposely try to derail my lifestyle changes but sometimes he forgets and brings me my favorite candy on his way home from work. He even tries the new recipes I have been cooking the past 3 weeks and actually liked them. He cooks dinner one night a week and sometimes forgets that I prefer zero butter and salt but he is trying to support me and that's all I can ask. My work hubby is pretty good about nagging me to go to the gym and stuff so I have tons of support there.

quirkytizzy

My boyfriend was mostly supportive in the beginning, but not at all on board with me. They are different things. Supportive means not being mean about the choices I'm making and respecting my wishes to reduce eating out/bringing in massive amounts of candy in the home. I've had to compromise on those more than a few times to keep the peace, but overall, he is at least willing to let me be about it.

He has not changed the way he eats. He made a few stabs at exercising with me but fell out of doing that. This doesn't mean he doesn't support me - he's just not on board with me. That's okay. My body, my choice. His body, his choice. If I waited for him to do it with me, I could be waiting for forever. I'm worth more than to wait for that.

ImperfectedBeauty

Alone. Boyfriend is 175lbs of pure skinny, so he eats whatever he wants whenever wants. Hes always suggesting mcdonalds and tim hortons to me late at night. I do my workouts alone because hes always "too sore" or "too tired", and when he does do them he does it laying on the bed (the floor workouts). MFP has been my only support through this.

fionadasein

Awesome husband who is encouraging better eating and fitness for both of us, even though he doesn't need to lose weight and is a post-doc with no time! He told me that when you love someone, what's important to them has to become important to you too (within reason). We support each other on important stuff, even if it's not really our thing, as well as sharing some interests, and pursuing separate interests too. Talk to him directly about very specific forms of support you need (the more specific the better!), and that you're worried that you're drifting apart. Ask him too for ideas on how to support you, and how you can support him, and how the two of you can strengthen your relationship. If he's unwilling, sadly you'll need to leave him behind so you can be your best self.

x

melizerd

My husband rocks. He is completely supportive of whatever I want to do in life, be it this or other things. Having a supportive spouse/partner doesn't mean that they do everything with you, but that they encourage you do to what it is that makes you happy.

My husband has lost some weight because we both eat better now, and we spend time together walking a couple nights a week too.

I honestly don't understand people who stay with someone who doesn't support them, or puts down their choice to be healthier. Even when my husband thinks I'm crazy he supports me.

squinz

My SO is supportive.. but he does set up sabotage along the way

This. He is supportive and tells me when I'm doing well but does thing like eat pizzas in front of me and offer me some. I find that very hard.

BellaFe

My husband is nothing but pure awesomeness! He has been 110% supportive of everything I have wanted to do. He has spent hundreds of dollars buying me equipment, had tried every new food I have made, and is always cheering me on. I even got him to run with me I am a VERY lucky girl.

ETA: He does not do it with me, but he eats what I make and loves it but he is also a big time junk food junkie.

bonjour24

my hubby has been really supportive in giving me the time to go running and training- i work shifts and have 3 young kids, so it's pretty spectacular that he's been willing to give up some of his time to let me have it! as far as diet goes, not so much. but that's ok. i've learned to take smaller portions of what he cooks and fill my plate with salad! and just because he has chips and lollies doesn't mean i have to eat them. sometimes i do, because i am weak. but most of the time i don't. but he gets the rewards too because i'm so much happier and feel better about myself, which in turn makes his life a lot easier because i'm less grumpsome. so my fitness is in his best interests!

ETA: he does NOT do this with me. but he's a pretty good cheerleader.

hedgiie

i've been through that. your boyfriend loves you from what you are, but since your changing as you better yourself, perhaps he's not ready and comfortable with the change.

i had that kind of problem, and it's hard at the beginning, but after a year now, it seems that she's now supporting me. recently i would say that she supports me, which i never thought that this will happen this way when i look back 12 months ago.

since your bettering yourself, your doing new things and building new habit, to your boyfriend perhaps it's hard for him to see you change or maybe a bit scared.