Feeling Insecure at the Gym

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fara180
fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
in Motivation and Support
I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts. They gave me weird looks and I became super self aware of my every movement. I felt like everyone was looking at my red, sweaty face, listening to me being out of breath.

So today, I went out and bought some nice work out clothes and a sportsbra (desperately needed) in the hopes that looking more like a gym rat will help me feel like I fit in.

Any tips on feeling more comfortable while trying to work out around others?

*P.S. I can't change gyms at the moment, I have a free membership to this gym and cannot afford a different one.
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Replies

  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Just focus on yourself, forget everyone else in the gym, remember why you are there, and that it is highly likely that at least a few of them were once where you are now.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
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    One, I'd love to know where you live because I'd love to hit up a gym that many perfect people. I've been going to gyms for 10 years, in multiple countries, and I've never seen a gym that hasen't had normal or overweight people in them doing their best to get in shape. Most of us "fit" people, don't really care who else is in there, just that they aren't screwing around or bothering us. Just go, don't worry about it and push on.
  • bearwith
    bearwith Posts: 525 Member
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    well done for going to the gym. Nobody will be judging you. Just get some nice gear and go and enjoy yourself. Remind yourself that every session at the gym increases your life expectancy - who cares what anybody thinks.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    My gym is always packed, but I've found that when I think about something completely unrelated to my health, such as a good grade my daughter got, or that I am going to be going to see my family over the weekend, basically anything at all, that I get through my workout and the people in the gym disappear.

    I was so self-conscious when I first started going. There are still tons of people way more fit than I am, but it gets better and easier every time I go.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Here's something to make you feel better. Most gym attendees are self absorbed in their own workouts and probably won't notice you.
  • Danni1585
    Danni1585 Posts: 250 Member
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    I haven't got the confidence for the gym yet but I do go swimming, it's the one form of exercise I can do. I m at least 50 lbs overweight and very self conscious. My legs are all cellulite, and I hate being uncovered. BUT I am holding up my head, and I literally now do NOTCARE, I get some stares, so what?? I am (thanks to MFP) motivated and doing great. I don't love walking out of the changing room, but I swear I think of my friends on this site and just get on and do my exercise. It's great. Head up high, shoulders back and get in there with our love and support. Xxxx
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
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    The only thing that makes people qualified to go to a gym is paying the membership, and you are paying for your membership like everybody else.

    My ipod really helps me drown out what is going on around me, and it is loaded with music that makes me feel good no matter what comes up. And you might feel a little more comfortable getting a trainer to show you how to use the machines and the free weights or weight machines.

    Don't forget that it's YOUR gym, too, so go and enjoy your workouts.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Just focus on yourself, forget everyone else in the gym, remember why you are there, and that it is highly likely that at least a few of them were once where you are now.

    ^^ This. Ignore them. Focus on you. Now just go kill it!
  • healthywtb
    healthywtb Posts: 80 Member
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    Ignore everyone else and focus on yourself. That is what most of the other people are doing too.
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
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    Maybe...laugh at yourself? Over the summer, I ran in the park for the first time in my life, and I just thought of the whole thing as a big joke.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
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    While they may look buff to you everyone at the gym started out where you are at one time!

    Do not focus on what they have achieved other than to give yourself an idea as to what you can do in the long term.

    Check in with the gyms trainer - get your program set up - get your instruction on the equipment so your comfortable using stuff.

    Check out strength training programs - go in with the plan and have them show you how to do it.

    We were all newbies some where some time! You can do this!
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    Most gyms will offer an orientation to new members, which might help you to feel more comfortable about getting in and getting started. Or, if you can afford it, getting set up with a trainer so you know your plan when you go in would be super helpful. Then you can just go do what you have to do without that awkward looking-around-trying-to-figure-out-where-to-go-next look.

    But yeah, most people are super self-absorbed in a gym :laugh:
  • mylifesjourney
    mylifesjourney Posts: 23 Member
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    I am a big girl needing to lose over 100 pounds also. When I initially started going the gym I felt the same way. What I do now is listen to my Ipod like I am the only one there. I don't notice anyone anymore.Try that, it works wonders!:wink:
  • orangelobster
    orangelobster Posts: 151
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    Whenever I see a "big" person at a gym, male or female, (and there are plenty) I always have major respect for them, since I know how hard that can be. Without a doubt they are the bravest in the place.

    If I see them there often, then I know they are the strongest, toughest most focused, most dedicated person in the place.

    So there!

    (ps: they probably are not looking at you as much as you think they are. Observe, they may be giving everyone a glance who walks through he door. additionally, a good percentage of those "perfect bodies" were likely to be overweight at some point and were in the same boat you are.

    Do not let this cause you to deviate from your goals. You're stronger than this.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
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    Hey you! just dont worry about other people at the gym. Put on the music via earbuds/ipod from the second you walk in..... and deal with only yourself. Try to enjoy what you are there for and use that as motivation.
    DONT get discouraged, dont worry about others there.
    you are your worst enemy, so try not to be your enemy and befriend yourself for once!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    dont even worry about it! i think its more you than them, i think its all "in your head" if you know what i mean. i felt the same way when i started going to the gym at 245 pounds, after the first week, i decided... they are all in thier own world staring AT THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR MAKING SURE THIER FORM IS PERFECT!!! they dont even have the time or care to stare at me!!! just go, work hard, enjoy yourself, and start seeing results!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    My gym is all skinny fit people too. I went in when I had about 100 to lose and as usual, I was pretty invisible. I guarantee most people who see you are going to think, "Way to go!" if they think anything about you at all.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
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    It is the begining of a new year, the gyms get alot of new people. So hold your head high, look them in the eye and smile and say hello. And follow the rules such as if you use a machine wipe it off when your done. In a little while they will see you as a regular there.
  • TXGirl821
    TXGirl821 Posts: 115
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    I have twice as much to lose as you do, and I know that self conscious feeling. But my gym has become a safe place for me. People are SO supportive of my workouts there, and usually after a session with my trainer, one or two people will come tell me "Good job out there today!" Don't be too self conscious - they're happy to see you there working!

    Besides, I don't know about you, but I'd rather people watch me as I sweat my booty off than watch me as I walk out of KFC, you know? LOL :)
  • underwater77
    underwater77 Posts: 331 Member
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    my gyms have people of all sizes and shapes. you may be too deep in your own head. like what has been said, they may glance for a moment, but within seconds they are back into their own routine and have forgotten all about you. just remember everyone is there for the same reason. keep at it, it will get easier. definitely bring tunes and get in the zone. you'll forget all about them, too!

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