i feel stupid

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Replies

  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
    Your TDEE is your total daily expenditure, it's how many calories you burn throughout the entire day including exercise. It's probably more than 1600 a day. My suggestion to you would be to eat more and start lifting weights. I don't think you need to lose scale weight, just body fat. If you eat at a small deficit and lift weights you'll see your shape change.

    Do you have access to a gym?

    I do have access to a gym.
  • ambervaldez79
    ambervaldez79 Posts: 210 Member
    Your body looks great!
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
    I read your profile and looked at your pics.... I'm not sure how to say this. Others are better at putting things more eloquently, but I will try. Please don't be offended. I have to say, the way you referenced your body and from the pictures I saw, you do not look to be overweight at all. Could it be, perhaps, that your body doesn't need to lose any weight and that's why you're struggling? In reference to what you posted on your profile about not wanting fat rolls...I see absolutely NONE on your body.

    I'm thinking your perception of your body is what is making this whole process difficult. Have you ever had issues with eating disorders?

    no and this is what I am afraid of...it's stupid! I am almost 34 yrs old and dont know what a normal body is! I never really had issues before, I was always realllly little, like a size 0, now I'm a size 4/5 and I'm beating myself up. I never dieted, I always exercised a lot, bc I like it, it makes me feel strong. It's so stupid and embarrassing and shallow and I am a feminist and should know better but I don't even want to be be skinny just free from fat and tone/muscular/strong. Sorry, I'm also hormonal. I just want to feel ok w myself, is the bigger issue I think.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    could be body dysmorphia. definitely not stupid. it's something many people struggle with
  • JayHesker
    JayHesker Posts: 12 Member
    I would caution you against comparing yourself to others. This isn't their battle, it's yours. Most of those skinny famous women aren't cute-it's not reality. You can do this, but you need to be focused and eat enough calories to sustain at least your minimum bodily functions per day and in reality, 1000 calories aint it.

    If you calculate your TDEE and eat fewer calories than that, you should lose. Don't forget to EXERCISE too! If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose, but not if you are eating too few calories.

    There is nothing wrong with you. We all have to hit bottom before we can get results. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.


    And seriously. All those photos? They're all PHOTOSHOPPED by their publicist to make them look fabulous. If you compare yourself to those clowns, you will first remain unhappy, and then you will fail based on deception perpetrated against you. Don't play the game. Good luck.
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
    I would caution you against comparing yourself to others. This isn't their battle, it's yours. Most of those skinny famous women aren't cute-it's not reality. You can do this, but you need to be focused and eat enough calories to sustain at least your minimum bodily functions per day and in reality, 1000 calories aint it.

    If you calculate your TDEE and eat fewer calories than that, you should lose. Don't forget to EXERCISE too! If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose, but not if you are eating too few calories.

    There is nothing wrong with you. We all have to hit bottom before we can get results. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.


    And seriously. All those photos? They're all PHOTOSHOPPED by their publicist to make them look fabulous. If you compare yourself to those clowns, you will first remain unhappy, and then you will fail based on deception perpetrated against you. Don't play the game. Good luck.

    I know you are right, that's what is so stupid. I KNOW better, but its a stupid insecurity inside me. I don't even "intellectually" buy into it...but then there is this little voice that does that is like "you're gross."
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
    Thank you. I am going to cook more at home, portion my own food, wear a heart monitor all day once just to see, limit my celebrity bikini body viewing time and lift weights a little more, as well as actively combat those mean little voices in my head.
  • groversa
    groversa Posts: 450 Member
    I feel like when I compare myself to others in real life I look fine. When I compare myself to famous people I look gross. when I look in the mirror or at pics of myself I also think I look gross. I feel like my mind and perception are twisted and I dont know what is real, normal and healthy. Sorry, I know I am feeling sorry for myself. I also weighed myself yesterday, the first day of my period, which is probably a bad thing to do id one is trying to have a positive attitude. I just look on this board at a lot of you guys who have done it and think....what the heck is wrong with me?!


    First of all..this. Having stress can and will effect your health and body. (This is a hard one for me too, but working at positive thinking will help if you practice enough). You should never compare yourself to anyone BUT yourself.

    Do this. Start yourself on a clean slate. Instead of saying "i have been trying to a year to lose weight" Start saying. Starting Janurary 22, 2013, I am going to start becoming the person I want to be."

    Keep track of EVERYTHING if you want your calorie intake to be accurate on here, I even will log one hersheys kiss when I eat one! Everything, because the little things are what adds up. (Including drinks- log all drinks, but I encourage you to only drink water and some milk. You can add things like mio to your water for flavor- no calories)

    Make a habit of exercise. Unless you force yourself to when you don't want to, you'll never end up making a habit of it.

    Start a clean slate, today. Forget about the past year. You are here, starting now, and you will succeed. :)

    Smile, because you'e blessed!
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
    I agree with what others have said here about TDEE-15%, weigh and measure food, get in the kitchen more, ect. I have one more suggestion to add on: get new plates. I know this sounds weird, but the visual perception is amazing on how much/little we eat. I have Corelle dinner plates, which I love, but when I started weighing and measuring my foods, once the food was on my plate, I saw all this plate and this skimpy little, teeny tiny meal (now this is a weighed and measured , you know what a real correctly portioned normal serving of food should be.) A few years ago, somebody gave me a set of sandwich plates they didn't want, so I thought I'd try to use them to see what happened, these are the only plates I eat off of now: that skimpy, little, teeny, tiny, weighed, and measured correctly portioned meal looks HUGE on my sandwich plates.
  • porkchop_13
    porkchop_13 Posts: 122
    Please dont compare yourself to anyone in Hollyweird. You look 1000x better than any of them.:bigsmile:

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