Anxiety at the gym...

gypsyrose64

I'm having the hardest time getting over myself here. Talk me down off the ledge please.

I got serious about weight loss on Oct.1, 2012 and have logged on MFP everyday since then. I'm OCD and brutally honest about my tracking. I manage a calorie budget, but not always a clean eater. I'm losing about 1 lb a week lately, so I must be doing something right.

Here's my problem. I recently joined a small gym close to the house. It's one room that's about 6,000 square feet. One side has heavy lifting stuff, other side has cardio and circuit machines in the middle. First couple visits I worked out, there was no one around and I was comfortable. I decided to pack a bag and go right after work yesterday because it's hard to leave the house once I go home.

So I walk in and the place has 12 buff men milling around and the only other woman there is a serious lifter with her bf(and she's hot). It felt like all eyeballs turned my direction when I walked in the door. Stage fright would be an understatement, LOL

I'm 5'5", 215 right now and feel sooooo self-conscious that I want to disappear into the walls. I climbed on the treadmill and walked a 20 min mile @ 3.5mph. I then went to the Gravitron machine and did 3 sets x20 of chin ups and dips using about 14% of my body weight. I also did some hamstring curls and 3 sets of hip adductor machine.

By this point, I've been there an hour and worked up a sweat. I wanted to do some squats, but my anxiety kept me from walking to the free weight side. I realize I sound like a head case here, but how the heck do I get over myself? I guess I just push through it and keep going until I can relax?

Has anyone else started out feeling this way, and found themselves laughing about it down the road? I know it should not matter what other's think, but I imagined some of those buff dudes were silently thinking "maybe the fat-*kitten* should try running instead of walking!"

I found myself having second thoughts about joining the gym last night, and I KNOW it was a necessary move towards progress. UGH... just smack me out of this negative mindset.

aelunyu

Think about it like this...the "buff" guys respect girls that squat, press, deadlift and all that. They really do. If you were to walk over, part them in half and dash straight for the squat rack, you'd get curious looks of intrigue. No one is judging you unless you are judging yourself. I know that feeling. I really messed up my lower back and had to take 9 months off from the gym..when I returned I had old friends making fun of my tiny frame. I really didn't want to go anymore. But once they saw the effort i was putting into just squatting a little bit of weight, they knew I'd be back in no time...and I was.

In the case that these buff guys are meatheads, they are probably more insecure than you are. (did my bicep shrink 1/18th of an inch since last week???, why did I only get 6 reps today when I got 8 last time!??!?!). We are a paranoid lot....and sometimes wish we had the courage to not care, as well.

I hope you do make it over to the squat rack, and get through your workout and feel good doing it. Once you've been around the gym for a few weeks, you'll be a staple. You'll feel right at home.

MissKalhan

Haha big time! The first time I went into the free weight section here when I moved(I was friends with the guys in my hometown) I felt like a total alien! You don't get stared at, you just feel like you are. Just keep doing your thing and do your squats! If they are paying attention then they'll get to watch your transformation too!

Misseena

Even if they see you, they probably won't judge you.
Even if they judge you, they probably won't remember you.
Even if they remember you, just think how much you're going to impress them as you progress!


I definitely understand the anxiety though, and I wish you all the best!

yoovie

yeah I called it gymtimidation

here's the thing though, seriously - picking up the barbell requires 150% of my concentration. If I concentrate AT ALL on ANYONE else nearby, my form goes to utter crap and I can seriously hurt myself or at least look like a complete idgit.

get hell bent on making a reputation for yourself there. People there wont really care about you until yall start nodding hello at each other. If you wont interact with anyone, no one will interact with you. but seriously, no one cares. I know that sounds harsh, but we are all SO INTENT on our workouts and our own inner conflict and voices in our heads to notice a shortie walk into the gym.

I swear on all the weight Ive lost.

Decide to make this place your Batcave. ITS YOURS! You own piece of it, so OWN IT.

iAMsmiling

Nothing to be done for it but to do it (as usual).

There are jerks everywhere in life, but I haven't run across many at gyms. Everyone there is working hard and most everyone will respect your hard work, knowing we're all headed to some goal and we all have to start somewhere.

Maxibris

I always feel this way when I go to the gym. I go to the gym at my university and its always packed with really hot people just showing off.

I talked about my anxiety to my mum and the fact that I was worried about people looking at me and judging me, my mom's response was a little strange but it actually was kind of an eye opener. She goes: "You are so self centered, what's so special about you in a gym that anyone would pay more attention to you than themselves?"

It made me realize that it's pretty much just all in my head and everyone is focusing on their own workout, not whether the fatass is walking instead of running.

courtneydeewalk

I understand how you feel. The free weights are pretty intimidating. My husband is a Marine and we worked out on base, and I would never even go over to the free weight section to tell him something. haha. We recently got stationed elsewhere and have a Y membership... I have done a few workouts with my husband in the free weight section but sill felt self conscious going by myself. Eventually... I started getting comfortable per workout. Now I feel good doing most of my upper body workouts in the free weight room. Most people tend to be more interested in their own workout than yours. It may take some time, but you'll get there. You can try going during non-rush hours to build your confidence. ) Good luck to you, dear.

melbogg

I always feel this way when I go to the gym. I go to the gym at my university and its always packed with really hot people just showing off.

I talked about my anxiety to my mum and I the fact was worried about people looking at me and judging me, my mom's response was a little strange but it actually was kind of an eye opener. She goes: "You are so self centered, what's so special about you in a gym that anyone would pay more attention to you than themselves?"

It made me realize that it's pretty much just all in my head and everyone is focusing on their own workout, not whether the fatass is walking instead of running.

well said! your mum is awesome

adenium11

I have had this anxiety.. I work out at a LARGE gym and theres "buff meatheads" everywhere and actually.. they were the easiest to work with once I got on my big pants! The young "im so awesome but have bad lifting habits" are the harder ones.. And now.. I just stand up and say what I need to. I ask for machines or if they are being used etc. I go in with the idea that THIS IS MY GYM TOO! And Im here lifting more then some of you men so PLease.. get out of my way! And yes.. the only other women are super hot..lol

Just find your " Im better then all of you " pants.. we all have them somewhere..and head in there! They often dont even notice a person.. bc like you they are to busy working on their bodies

dare2love81

yeah I called it gymtimidation

here's the thing though, seriously - picking up the barbell requires 150% of my concentration. If I concentrate AT ALL on ANYONE else nearby, my form goes to utter crap and I can seriously hurt myself or at least look like a complete idgit.

get hell bent on making a reputation for yourself there. People there wont really care about you until yall start nodding hello at each other. If you wont interact with anyone, no one will interact with you. but seriously, no one cares. I know that sounds harsh, but we are all SO INTENT on our workouts and our own inner conflict and voices in our heads to notice a shortie walk into the gym.

I swear on all the weight Ive lost.

Decide to make this place your Batcave. ITS YOURS! You own piece of it, so OWN IT.

This is so full of win.

OP: Keep in mind that even though they appear intimidating, they're likely too focused on their own workouts to concern themselves with what you're doing or not doing. And I can't speak for all gyms, but I know at mine, when a woman walks into the free weights section, she's automatically respected. As long as you're not over there lifting 2lb dumbbells and fluffing your hair in the mirror, you'll be fine. :flowerforyou:

No_Finish_Line

Think about it like this...the "buff" guys respect girls that squat, press, deadlift and all that.

hell even seeing a woman pick up a dumbell is impressive.

Shivpea

I often feel that way too but I guess most people are insecure on some level. When I started going I just braved it at the beginning, it was hard but worth it when I finished my workout. It'll get easier in time!

kristanb05

This is exactly why I hid from the gym for so long (dx GAD). It's also the reason I selected a small gym affiliated with a local hospital (all age ranges of people, and abilities range from the elderly just walking or riding a stationary bike to meatheads). What I've found is that nobody REALLY cares what you're doing as long as you're doing something. Keep moving, keep improving. Before you know it, you'll be chatting it up and saying hello to people you see often. You might learn something from them and they might learn from you. I'm not the skinny girl, I'm not the fast girl, but I'm the sweaty girl who pushes through her cardio and isn't afraid to break into the squat rack or ask if someone is finished with the chest press. I do MY thing and they do THEIRS.

Going into the gym with a game plan of first I'm going to do x, then y, then Z.... made things easier. I knew exactly what I was there to do and how I was going to do it. Now I go in with my head held high and know that I'm going to walk out better than when I walked in. (And if you can ACT like you belong there, even if you don't believe it's true at first, people will get that vibe from you as well.)

And honestly, when I see people bigger than me who are there busting their *kitten* I totally look for them to be there again. There are a few that I see keep coming back. I totally respect those people. There are far too many that you see once or twice and never again.

BlueInkDot

I have a feeling that a high percentage of us here at MFP will understand EXACTLY how you feel. It is intimidating. You feel like you're really putting yourself out there. But that's a part of this journey. In order to make a change for the better, you actually have to get down and dirty into "THIS IS HOW I AM NOW" because you can only move forward from WHERE YOU ARE NOW. You can't fool yourself into thinking you're any better than you really are. If you can lift that weight, great - and if you can't, well then you can't. It's a reality that really hits you and makes you feel self-concious. We understand. We've all been there - in fact it's where I am now. It's very difficult.

But, like yoovie said, it's time to take that "who you are now" and MOVE FORWARD AND MAKE IT BETTER. And the only way to do that is to (1) BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DO IT (2) COMMIT TO IT and (3) MAKE IT HAPPEN.

It's tough but we gotta do it if we want to make this happen. Thanks for posting because it's exactly how I feel and I really need to take my own advice too!! Haha

Shivpea

I talked about my anxiety to my mum and the fact that I was worried about people looking at me and judging me, my mom's response was a little strange but it actually was kind of an eye opener. She goes: "You are so self centered, what's so special about you in a gym that anyone would pay more attention to you than themselves?"

It made me realize that it's pretty much just all in my head and everyone is focusing on their own workout, not whether the fatass is walking instead of running.

Just read your reply and it makes perfect sense! I often feel people are looking at me in the gym as well, but next time I'm definitely going to remember this! Thanks!

janettheriault

The gym IS an intimidating place! I'm new to this whole working out in public thing too, I still have moments where I feel uncomfortable, like I just don't belong with all the fit people, running and jumping around, never breaking a sweat! but to be honest, I just tell myself to push through it. Losing weight and being healthy is my goal and I refuse to let anyone make me feel embarrassed. It really is just a matter of feeling comfortable in your own skin. Everyone is at the gym for the same reason, to get fit. And nobody looks hot when they're covered in sweat, makeup smeared, smelling like b.o., not even the "beautiful" people lol

DMZ_1

Most people are too self absorbed in their own workouts to notice you. Do what you need to at the gym to get the results you want.

zealousmissjj_wechange

By this point, I've been there an hour and worked up a sweat. I wanted to do some squats, but my anxiety kept me from walking to the free weight side. I realize I sound like a head case here, but how the heck do I get over myself? I guess I just push through it and keep going until I can relax?

Oh, hunny, I know how this feels!! I've never worked out because I was too self-conscious to step into a gym with all those fit and buff people. I finally found a gym where mostly middle-aged people work-out and are serious about their business.

It took me a WHOLE YEAR of cardio before I dared step onto the free-weight section. I finally did it yesterday!! I had a great instructor who showed me everything without passing judgement.

I figured that if I keep doing this (the weight-lifting) that in one more year people will look at me the same way I did at all those fit people. Just do it and screw (pardon me) the rest!!!

jenfoxjercha

Oh how I completely understand this feeling. When I started to work out I knew that everyone was watching my every move. Those same guys are at the gym today and I don't even think they know I exist. Some say hi in the morning but most just do their thing.
I also started training jiu jitsu last year. I train with almost all guys and they are all much younger than myself. I had some confidence since my instructor was working with me on my weight loss for about 10 months before starting but still they are stonger and younger. Those same guys now push me to be better and celebrate my small victories with me.
Get in there and do it!!! One thing my instructor reminds me is that those same guys that are buff are not as flexible as me so there are things I can do that they can't.

Maxibris

I talked about my anxiety to my mum and the fact that I was worried about people looking at me and judging me, my mom's response was a little strange but it actually was kind of an eye opener. She goes: "You are so self centered, what's so special about you in a gym that anyone would pay more attention to you than themselves?"

It made me realize that it's pretty much just all in my head and everyone is focusing on their own workout, not whether the fatass is walking instead of running.

Just read your reply and it makes perfect sense! I often feel people are looking at me in the gym as well, but next time I'm definitely going to remember this! Thanks!

I'm glad my mum being so blunt could help!

Mathguy1

Here's a little insight you'll discover when you become fit and seeing someone who is beginning their exercise journey at the gym....

First a little back story, at my heaviest I was 235 lbs (5'10"). I started walking until I reached 205. Eventually, I began working out at my apartment complex's gym. When I was 205-210, I often noticed that those that were fit often would notice me while on the treadmill as well as while weightlifting. Mind you, at 43 yrs old, I really dont care what others are thinking, but it was always a strange feeling. I would ask my trainer and he would tell me that people will sometimes watch someone lift weights in order to get new exercise ideas, watch to see if they are using correct form, etc.

When asked why they notice me walking over to the treadmill, he told me "You'll discover why when you become fit and get closer to your goals."

Jump ahead 6 months, I have reached my "goal weight" (I state it at 165 just in case I continue to lose weight, I am not trying to, but if I do it's no big deal). In walks someone as you described. He's about 5'8", just beginning his exercise journey (He's wearing a matching exercise outfit, sweatbands on his forehead and wrists) weighs around 260-300 lbs and nervously walks up to the treadmill. Takes about 5 minutes to set his towel on the arm handle and program the machine. All this while nervously looking around, After a little while, the treadmill slowly increases in speed and he begins his walking/jogging routine.

During all of this, I was sitting between sets on a chest press machine (I know, taking an extended rest) and I remembered myself asking my trainer why it felt that others were watching me while I got onto the treadmill while being vastly overweight.

Then it dawned on me, was I thinking "Hey tubbo, shouldn't you be back on the couch eating twinkies?" or "Hey fattie, didn't anyone ever tell you that gyms are for fit people?"

NOT IN THE LEAST! NOT FOR A SECOND DID I THINK THAT!

It made me remember when I first began exercising, not having a clue as to what I was doing. It made me remember when I thought that everyone was watching me while using the treadmill. Now guess what I was thinking and wanting to say to that overweight, unhealthy gentlemen on the treadmill (those of us that are fit already know what I'm about to say).

I thought:

Congratulations!
Good for you!!
You've finally had enough of being overweight and are doing something about it!
We've all been there when beginning exercising for the first time!
(etc).

What people that are overweight and out of shape dont realize when they enter the gym that those of us that notice them, notice them because we all remember when we first began. They remind us to not give up when we feel like quitting (or making excuses not to exercise).

As he was finishing his time on the treadmill and walking out of the gym, I smiled, walked over to him and said "Dont worry about the others here in the gym. We all remember how nervous we felt while first working out. Over time, the nervousness goes away. If you ever decide to lift weights, feel free to ask me what exercises are good to start with and I'll be more than happy to show you some exercises as well as steer you towards the personal trainer that I used when first lifting weights."

My point is, please dont feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about how you look in the gym. The point is that you are in the gym to exercise and gain the benefits from doing so. If you are just starting out and are very overweight, you'll be an inspiration to those of us that are further along in our journey. In time, as you become healthier, when you see an overweight beginner in the gym, you'll "flashback" to when you first began exercising and perhaps they'll inspire you to continue on your journey.

TrailRunner61

I joined a gym this week, that I belonged to years ago, so I can't say how I'll feel when I start heavy lifting again. However,,, when I was there before, I was proud of people who showed up and needed to lose weight, improve their health, whatever.. and was glad to see them there working at it and tried to 'cheer' them on and encourage them. But, I'm a woman. Most of the men there just grunted and spit. I hope it's better this time around lol.
I say just keep going and going and going until it's routine and you don't notice anyone else. You are there for you, not to impress anyone else.
Congrats on going and good luck!

lorenzoinlr

I never feel anything other than respect for those starting out or who are learning. The greater the challenge the more respect I have for them taking it on. That said, I rarely notice what others are doing at the gym, to have a good workout it needs my full focus.

It isn't really how others feel about us, it's about how we feel about ourselves. Commit to a routine, follow through despite some of these difficulties and I promise you'll feel better about yourself...

kbkeats

The hard core folks at the gym freak me out too!
Honestly though, I know for myself and my friends I talk to about this, when we see a large person at the gym, it's very impressive. I give anyone at the gym big kudos for having the motivation to workout, but especially larger people who are taking the initiative to make a life change.

stephdeeable

Honestly, it's been a huge problem for me. Worrying about what other people are thinking of me. Like, oh, she's so disgusting, look at how red faced and sweaty she is, look at how little she can do....etc...BUT I know I need to exercise, and the gym is the best option for me. So I literally just self talk in my head..."Oh Steph, everyone here is so proud of you. They are so amazed that you can push yourself so hard, they find you so inspirational" So even if everyone there is thinking "Look at that fat *****"....to me, they are always thinking "What a fitness goddess! I'm going to name my first born after her!"

Juliejustsaying

Totally understand the anxiety....I've been wanting to deadlift for a while, watched all the videos etc on form...and finally, FINALLY got the gym to myself to give it a go. It was fun, and now I plan on doing it when I want to regardless of who is there.

So I'm sure a lot of us get it...but you know what? you just gotta do it. You do it for you, and you make yourself happy. If they judge, screw them...they weren't born with perfectly defined muscles..they've put the work in too. Everyone has to start at the beginning...now is your beginning. Work it!

zealousmissjj_wechange

Just find your " Im better then all of you " pants.. we all have them somewhere..and head in there!

Lve this!!

cecyvaquero

I went through that before and it will get better. Chances are the other people saw you but never paid attention to you. Its all in your head. I go through anxiety to and what you are afraid of just gets bigger and bigger. Don't avoid the gym at all. Keep going until you conquer your fear. Workout and make sure you have your IPOd with you so that you focus on something else rather than the people around you.

I haven't worked out in about 2 weeks and I feel horrible becuase of it. I work out at home because I have 4 kids at home so I am going to start over again. This time I will start off with relaxing workouts like yoga until I feel like myself again to do the heavy workouts.

It will get better hun. Don't worry. You are not alone.

hollygoddess

I definately am ultra self-con. at the gym & belong to a LADIES gym! I asked when the least amount of traffic is at the gym, but I find going with a buddy really help a lot! I also found each time I went my confidence went up! DON"T you dare quit going, keep it up!

squirrelythegreat

Reminds me of when I first step foot in a weight room. I remember that feeling. Took me a while to get used to it. The next year of High School I made that room my home. By the time I'd finished 3 years lifting I'd gone from benching like, 95 at the start, to 300, and squatting parallel 435. Leave all hesitation at the door and get down to business. (break the ice and ask for a spot)