Anxiety at the gym...

Mathguy1

Here's a little insight you'll discover when you become fit and seeing someone who is beginning their exercise journey at the gym....

First a little back story, at my heaviest I was 235 lbs (5'10"). I started walking until I reached 205. Eventually, I began working out at my apartment complex's gym. When I was 205-210, I often noticed that those that were fit often would notice me while on the treadmill as well as while weightlifting. Mind you, at 43 yrs old, I really dont care what others are thinking, but it was always a strange feeling. I would ask my trainer and he would tell me that people will sometimes watch someone lift weights in order to get new exercise ideas, watch to see if they are using correct form, etc.

When asked why they notice me walking over to the treadmill, he told me "You'll discover why when you become fit and get closer to your goals."

Jump ahead 6 months, I have reached my "goal weight" (I state it at 165 just in case I continue to lose weight, I am not trying to, but if I do it's no big deal). In walks someone as you described. He's about 5'8", just beginning his exercise journey (He's wearing a matching exercise outfit, sweatbands on his forehead and wrists) weighs around 260-300 lbs and nervously walks up to the treadmill. Takes about 5 minutes to set his towel on the arm handle and program the machine. All this while nervously looking around, After a little while, the treadmill slowly increases in speed and he begins his walking/jogging routine.

During all of this, I was sitting between sets on a chest press machine (I know, taking an extended rest) and I remembered myself asking my trainer why it felt that others were watching me while I got onto the treadmill while being vastly overweight.

Then it dawned on me, was I thinking "Hey tubbo, shouldn't you be back on the couch eating twinkies?" or "Hey fattie, didn't anyone ever tell you that gyms are for fit people?"

NOT IN THE LEAST! NOT FOR A SECOND DID I THINK THAT!

It made me remember when I first began exercising, not having a clue as to what I was doing. It made me remember when I thought that everyone was watching me while using the treadmill. Now guess what I was thinking and wanting to say to that overweight, unhealthy gentlemen on the treadmill (those of us that are fit already know what I'm about to say).

I thought:

Congratulations!
Good for you!!
You've finally had enough of being overweight and are doing something about it!
We've all been there when beginning exercising for the first time!
(etc).

What people that are overweight and out of shape dont realize when they enter the gym that those of us that notice them, notice them because we all remember when we first began. They remind us to not give up when we feel like quitting (or making excuses not to exercise).

As he was finishing his time on the treadmill and walking out of the gym, I smiled, walked over to him and said "Dont worry about the others here in the gym. We all remember how nervous we felt while first working out. Over time, the nervousness goes away. If you ever decide to lift weights, feel free to ask me what exercises are good to start with and I'll be more than happy to show you some exercises as well as steer you towards the personal trainer that I used when first lifting weights."

My point is, please dont feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about how you look in the gym. The point is that you are in the gym to exercise and gain the benefits from doing so. If you are just starting out and are very overweight, you'll be an inspiration to those of us that are further along in our journey. In time, as you become healthier, when you see an overweight beginner in the gym, you'll "flashback" to when you first began exercising and perhaps they'll inspire you to continue on your journey.

TrailRunner61

I joined a gym this week, that I belonged to years ago, so I can't say how I'll feel when I start heavy lifting again. However,,, when I was there before, I was proud of people who showed up and needed to lose weight, improve their health, whatever.. and was glad to see them there working at it and tried to 'cheer' them on and encourage them. But, I'm a woman. Most of the men there just grunted and spit. I hope it's better this time around lol.
I say just keep going and going and going until it's routine and you don't notice anyone else. You are there for you, not to impress anyone else.
Congrats on going and good luck!

lorenzoinlr

I never feel anything other than respect for those starting out or who are learning. The greater the challenge the more respect I have for them taking it on. That said, I rarely notice what others are doing at the gym, to have a good workout it needs my full focus.

It isn't really how others feel about us, it's about how we feel about ourselves. Commit to a routine, follow through despite some of these difficulties and I promise you'll feel better about yourself...

kbkeats

The hard core folks at the gym freak me out too!
Honestly though, I know for myself and my friends I talk to about this, when we see a large person at the gym, it's very impressive. I give anyone at the gym big kudos for having the motivation to workout, but especially larger people who are taking the initiative to make a life change.

stephdeeable

Honestly, it's been a huge problem for me. Worrying about what other people are thinking of me. Like, oh, she's so disgusting, look at how red faced and sweaty she is, look at how little she can do....etc...BUT I know I need to exercise, and the gym is the best option for me. So I literally just self talk in my head..."Oh Steph, everyone here is so proud of you. They are so amazed that you can push yourself so hard, they find you so inspirational" So even if everyone there is thinking "Look at that fat *****"....to me, they are always thinking "What a fitness goddess! I'm going to name my first born after her!"

Juliejustsaying

Totally understand the anxiety....I've been wanting to deadlift for a while, watched all the videos etc on form...and finally, FINALLY got the gym to myself to give it a go. It was fun, and now I plan on doing it when I want to regardless of who is there.

So I'm sure a lot of us get it...but you know what? you just gotta do it. You do it for you, and you make yourself happy. If they judge, screw them...they weren't born with perfectly defined muscles..they've put the work in too. Everyone has to start at the beginning...now is your beginning. Work it!

zealousmissjj_wechange

Just find your " Im better then all of you " pants.. we all have them somewhere..and head in there!

Lve this!!

cecyvaquero

I went through that before and it will get better. Chances are the other people saw you but never paid attention to you. Its all in your head. I go through anxiety to and what you are afraid of just gets bigger and bigger. Don't avoid the gym at all. Keep going until you conquer your fear. Workout and make sure you have your IPOd with you so that you focus on something else rather than the people around you.

I haven't worked out in about 2 weeks and I feel horrible becuase of it. I work out at home because I have 4 kids at home so I am going to start over again. This time I will start off with relaxing workouts like yoga until I feel like myself again to do the heavy workouts.

It will get better hun. Don't worry. You are not alone.

hollygoddess

I definately am ultra self-con. at the gym & belong to a LADIES gym! I asked when the least amount of traffic is at the gym, but I find going with a buddy really help a lot! I also found each time I went my confidence went up! DON"T you dare quit going, keep it up!

squirrelythegreat

Reminds me of when I first step foot in a weight room. I remember that feeling. Took me a while to get used to it. The next year of High School I made that room my home. By the time I'd finished 3 years lifting I'd gone from benching like, 95 at the start, to 300, and squatting parallel 435. Leave all hesitation at the door and get down to business. (break the ice and ask for a spot)

heathersteffensen

I feel the same way about going to the gym. We have a small workout room at my work and it is a nice benefit but I have stopped going because I was nervous that co-workers would be judging me in the same way. But I have decided that if I don't got to the gym and workout my butt is just going to get bigger. So I'm saying let the haters hate if they want to. I'm going to go to the gym and do my workout regardless of what anyone things (even my own negative thoughts) and do what is best for me.

Hopefully I will feel more confident in the workout room but I'm not going to let my own perceived negative thoughts stop me from doing what I need to, to get myself into a shape other than a blob.

Keep going and working on you and let them work on themselves.

teneh

I used to be like that, especially when having to walk through the weights section.
Just look at your iPod or whatever,or just don't make eye contact, lol (:
in all seriousness, I doubt anyone is paying much attention to you. I don't mean that to be rude but I always felt like people were staring when they really weren't, just go for it! x

Weebs628

Think about it like this...the "buff" guys respect girls that squat, press, deadlift and all that.

hell even seeing a woman pick up a dumbell is impressive.

Yes! I was at the gym with my trainer and she saw a guy she knew (big, buff body builder) and she introduced us and he said that he loves seeing women lift weights and it shows that they really care about their body.
Before I got a trainer, I looked up dumbbell exercises online and started doing those. My biggest fear was not knowing what to do, but now I'm working on that.

mbacheld72

I completely understand. I don't know a single person who hasn't felt that way when first starting off at a gym, especially if you're going alone. I can tell you though that those people are much more into themselves and their routines at that moment than what anyone else might be doing there. I even find it hard to pay attention to who is around me or what they're doing when I go. I try to only focus on what I need to do while I'm there. Don't over think it, and I'm positive they are not judging you. If anything, they probably noticed you when you came in because you were new, and thought "good for you" when they saw you working out. Everyone is there for the same reason, and no one starts out "buff." =-) Keep going; You'll be happy you did.

MizSaz

Nobody cares about you or what you are doing. Honestly. And in the event someone DOES want to have a little chuckle at my expense, fine, whatever, I couldn't care less what a total stranger, who is obviously a *kitten*, thinks about me.

GainsAndGuitars

My advice would be to have a set workout plan for weights in your head or even get a book and write it down if you need to and ALWAYS have a plan B workout (or even plan C if your gym is really crowded) that you can go to next if what you want is being used. Since you aren't 100% comfortable you might find that having a plan of exercises limits the moments where you are milling around wondering "wait should I go to THAT rack or THAT bench and do this excercise or that one." Starting off with a set plan might help with indicisiveness and the 'fear' or 'intimidation' that sets in when you become unfocused on what you are really there to do: work on yourself. Just my two cents, good luck!

JPRobocker

I had this problem. I promise it goes away. Once you get into a rutine and go at certain times every week, you may even meet some people (yes even meatheads) that are on the same schedule as you. In my experiance, most everyone at the gym is very friendly.

Just yesterday I was benching and I had two 5 lb weights on each side of the bar. There was another regular on another bench and he had 90 lbs on each side of his bar. He came over and offered to spot me so I could do more reps (not hitting on me, just genuinely being nice. Most of the people at the gym really are just there to work out. It is probably a common interest. They are just people too. Keep your head up and keep going. It does get better. Maybe go with a friend a few times to get into a rutine?

yoovie

I wish there were more girls on that side of the room... but they wont join me. They look.. but never come over.

It's very sad and lonely on this side of the gym usually.

If you're at my gym, come talk to me and we can share the squat rack. Im the one in the crazy colors with white hair - having too much fun alone.

Wave at me and you can come stay safe by me, kk?

BeeElMarvin

Unfortunately, you see it even here. Every year, "some" the people who have been on MFP for awhile begin threads about the "newbies" at the gym where they go.
There can be a snobbery that seems to take hold after some have used a gym for a period of time. Some forget what it's like to be new and trying hard to improve your life.
Just go. Ignore the jerks, because there may be some, make friends with the helpful people - there will be some.
Work out hard, take advice, and eventually the naysayers will see that you aren't going away - that you mean business.

Quackledorf

I have anxiety about the gym as well. Mine is based on the fact that I don't know how to use the machines and I'm afraid of looking like an idiot when I can't figure them out or do them wrong. I found this AWESOME website that gives you workouts for the body area you want to work, and if the workout uses a machine, it tells you how to use the machine. I love this website, you can find all workouts on here and details about how to do them. Check it out, and good luck to you! I'm glad you asked this question, I feel like a lot of people will be able to read the answers from other users and find a way to build confidence to get the work out they need.