Dear Ex

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2

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  • jmarie9
    jmarie9 Posts: 108
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    what an ugly person. i'm glad he is a good rather, at least he has one redeeming quality. time to focus on you and your kids, the more important things. :)
  • pkgirrl
    pkgirrl Posts: 587
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    dawnwestberry - there's a lady like that at my gym. She's scary skinny, flappy wrinkly skin and HUGE bags under her eyes. She spends about 3 hours on the elliptical a day, and sure, she's probably a size 00, but it's NOT PRETTY. You're gorgeous, and youthful, and your losing the healthy way, so when you get down to where you wanna be, your going to have a gorgeous face to back that hot body up! =)

    hasiangirl - OMG! I don't seriously know how you didn't deck him! Wow girl, that's some serious self restraint. What an @$$! At least you know you deserve so, so much more, than that excuse for a man. In your picture, you look pretty darn great to me, and I'm pretty sure there's a whole slough of MFP'ers ready to back me up on that one =)
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    whenever I see him he still tells me I'm his property...He can be a real loose cannon.....he started threatening everyone I talked to and even went as far as telling me he was going to crush my head with a baseball bat one night.....(granted a few months ago) but still stuff like that makes me tread on thin ice when im around him and I try and watch what i say or do very carefully

    Between the inappropriate touching of your person and the violent physical threats, I'd VERY SERIOUSLY suggest you look into a domestic violence restraining order.

    If you need help in finding info on it, let me know. I interned at a domestic violence shelter in my state. I can get the links and contacts I need in your state to help you. A restraining order is something you can do (usually) for free by yourself, no attorney required (i.e. no money required).
  • buggaboo73
    buggaboo73 Posts: 169
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    Next time don't give him the ten minutes, say whatever and walk away, he's toxic. Well....maybe you could take the one suggestion and point to his crotch and laugh hystericaly.....I do kinda like that one! :laugh:
  • ericac
    ericac Posts: 2,679
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    Ex's.....Grrrr....Girl you keep going strong.....your beautiful and one of these days..(with all the support and friendship of us here!)....you can look at him and laugh....the last laugh will be yours!!...

    I've learned not to put myself in those situations with my ex.....be careful and limit your contact if ya can....be safe!
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    Yay... The rest of us have to take care of this bad rap we have... Stupid immature boys... I don't understand how they can continue to destroy lives. How do they end up with the women and the good guys are hanging left to dry? Whats up with that?
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    Yay... The rest of us have to take care of this bad rap we have... Stupid immature boys... I don't understand how they can continue to destroy lives. How do they end up with the women and the good guys are hanging left to dry? Whats up with that?
    hey i never grouped all guys together...i said some...stands true with both sexes, but he wasnt an *kitten* when we first started dating 6 yrs ago lol
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    Eh, your right. I just generalized. Sorry about that. I know our rep all too well.
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
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    Maybe you could only meet with him in a public location when u have to see him, for example taking the kids to see him etc. I am on the Board of Director's for DV in our county as well as an Investigator for Child Protective Services and I have seen alot of women and children in very dangerous situations. U do not have to put up with his threats. There are people who love u and thats including your kids.

    I would rather have a loving, caring and living mother, than a man as my father who teaches me to disrespect or hurt women...think about it (children see more than we think sometimes!!) Anyway, You have our support!! I wish you and your children only the best because you truly deserve it!!:flowerforyou: Not all men are like this and you will find someone to treat you and your kids with respect!!
  • melgibson
    melgibson Posts: 702 Member
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    Yay... The rest of us have to take care of this bad rap we have... Stupid immature boys... I don't understand how they can continue to destroy lives. How do they end up with the women and the good guys are hanging left to dry? Whats up with that?
    hey i never grouped all guys together...i said some...stands true with both sexes, but he wasnt an *kitten* when we first started dating 6 yrs ago lol

    Sounds to me like a perfect reason to keep him as an ex. These types of people never start out like this, it's something they build up over time, they knock your confidence until they can push you down and keep you down. It's all about control.
    The best thing you did was get away, now he hasn't got that anymore. The next time you have to see him make it as short and sweet as possible and this will be the best way to deal with him forever.
    One day he'll ask why you don't stay longer or chat more and you can explain that you understand it all and your not intersted in his opinion amymore.

    And no women think all guys are bad, just the same as no men think all women are bad. There are good and bad in both but unfortunately some choose to take advantage of the good ones.
    We live in hope of finding a good one - One day :o)
  • msbanana
    msbanana Posts: 793 Member
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    The guy sounds like an a$$hat.
    If you find anything else that belongs to him, I'd drop it off while he wasn't home and stay H away from that disaster.
    Stay strong girl- NO human being has the right to do that to you. Current SO, Ex, Parent, Grandparent... doesn't matter. It's your body and that isn't motivation. It's demoralizing and awful. :angry: Good Luck!!

    Remember: You're Strong, You're Beautiful and You're Loved!!
  • rlsluvr
    rlsluvr Posts: 130
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    Heck, If you find anything else, call him on your way out, tell him it's on the front porch, in front of the garage etc. and tell him if it's still here when I get back in an hour, I'm giving it to goodwill.... better yet I'm selling it on Craigslist!!!!
  • lcouterm
    lcouterm Posts: 138 Member
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    You should be happy he did that it will make it so much more sweet when your looking your absolute best in the near future wearing something slinky walking up to him and saying "remember when you, Blah Blah" smiling and walking away. Or same scenario, saying that you were heavy and he was an idiot and you lost the weight and what was his excuse.
  • themethod
    themethod Posts: 257
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    Twilight: If i were to get a restraining order he wouldn't be able to see his kids and he is a great father, I can't take that away from the guy....horrible boyfriend....but unless he really does something extreme to show that he'd follow through with his words than I'm putting it off....But I grew up without a parent and it isnt fun =/

    Do me a favor, don't wait until he "does something extreme"... What does he have to do to prove to you that he's dangerous? Hurt you? Guess what, then it's too late. At that point the damage will already be done, you will have been hurt, and those kids with that "great father" now have a "great father" that's in jail.

    I've had far too many friends go through this same thing. I've had to give statements to police, give depositions to lawyers, visit people in the hospital, write letters to child protective services, hide friends and their children in other people's homes, and clean my friend's blood off of every surface in her house.

    Waiting doesn't help anyone except him.

    Lecture over.

    Just be safe, protect yourself and your children, and lose the weight for yourself, not because of him. Obviously he's a d!ck and his comments are just one more way to keep you under his control. After you've been out of the relationship for awhile, you'll look back and say to yourself, "What the hell was I thinking?" :flowerforyou:
  • jbuffan218
    jbuffan218 Posts: 275 Member
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    Forgive me if someone has already said this, I was just so pissed off for you I couldn't take time to read all of the replies.

    First thing and most important thing is that he is an EX . Sounds like that was a healthy move on your part.
    Secondly he sounds like a douche bag. I can't imagine anyone in my life ever grabbing hold of my belly bump and making fun of it for 10 minutes?? Seriously? Do not stand ther for 10 whole minutes and listen to his diarreha of the mouth.
    WTH? The next time he attempts to treat you like that, get the heck outta there. What a jerk. He's an EX, there is no reason to even deal with him. Your too young & beautiful to let some immature boy to disrespect you.

    WALK AWAY ! eat right, exercise and when your smokin' hot THEN who's gonna be laughing?

    P.S. From your profile pic I cant even see a belly, are you kidding me? Ok, let me sqint.......nope no belly in sight.
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
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    honey i know EXACTLY how this feels. Hes a jerk. Show the jerk face up!!!! Convince him to run a race or something and destroy him. I made the stupid mistake of attemopting to get back together with the one who did that too me thinking he changed I was wrong and hes far gone...
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    hasian you are and will continue to be a hot mama, now and when you reach and maintain your goal!!! keep kicking *kitten*!
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    Once again thank you all for the advice and comments I really appreciate it :bigsmile: I should actually thank him tho cause I was kind of getting lonely and missing him....because we're at about the 4th month marker, but that just made me realize he was a total jerk :laugh: I'm over it now...but it was just a fresh wound the other day especially since I had put on about 12lbs in the four months, but I've started with power 90 and although i'm only a few days in I feel awesome! thank you all so much for the support I :heart: you MFP'ers!

    and Loathesome! I love the new pic girl!....hope all is going well with you sweety :smooched:
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Honey, think about this. Earlier you said:
    whenever I see him he still tells me I'm his property...He can be a real loose cannon.....he started threatening everyone I talked to and even went as far as telling me he was going to crush my head with a baseball bat one night.....(granted a few months ago) but still stuff like that makes me tread on thin ice when im around him and I try and watch what i say or do very carefully
    And then later you said:
    If i were to get a restraining order he wouldn't be able to see his kids and he is a great father, I can't take that away from the guy....horrible boyfriend....but unless he really does something extreme ,,,
    Listen up cupcake,,, I'm a pretty good father and I have the happy-well adjusted adult children to prove it, so I know what I'm talking about. A 'man' who calls other people property and talks about crushing mommy's head with a bat is not a good father.

    He's a stupid, cowardly, frightened little *kitten*. By his words and deeds he will teach his children that other people are 'property' to be used and abused. Nothing good about that. Get your children away from him ASAP before he infects them with his flawed thinking and general disrespect for other people.
  • ericac
    ericac Posts: 2,679
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    Honey, think about this. Earlier you said:
    whenever I see him he still tells me I'm his property...He can be a real loose cannon.....he started threatening everyone I talked to and even went as far as telling me he was going to crush my head with a baseball bat one night.....(granted a few months ago) but still stuff like that makes me tread on thin ice when im around him and I try and watch what i say or do very carefully
    And then later you said:
    If i were to get a restraining order he wouldn't be able to see his kids and he is a great father, I can't take that away from the guy....horrible boyfriend....but unless he really does something extreme ,,,
    Listen up cupcake,,, I'm a pretty good father and I have the happy-well adjusted adult children to prove it, so I know what I'm talking about. A 'man' who calls other people property and talks about crushing mommy's head with a bat is not a good father.

    He's a stupid, cowardly, frightened little *kitten*. By his words and deeds he will teach his children that other people are 'property' to be used and abused. Nothing good about that. Get your children away from him ASAP before he infects them with his flawed thinking and general disrespect for other people.

    DITTO!!!.....well said hunni!

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