Doing good until the husband comes home! :(
kayholt2012
Posts: 12 Member
Hey guys! I am new to this and looking for friends and some motivation! Feel free to add me!!
I recently had a baby (5 months ago..lol) and am trying to lose weight. I do good on my diet and exercise until my husband comes home from work.
My husband works in the oilfield on a schedule of 16 days on and 5 days off. I do great on the 16 days that he is gone. But when he comes home...you can forget the diet. Its not like I just give up. My husband feels like I should eat normal when he comes home. Its extremely hard on me. I try to cook things healthy and try to eat as healthy as possible when we go out but it's extremely hard.
I can't get him to understand that I will cook him what ever he wants but I just want my shakes or whatnot. Even with that offer he still feels like I should change how I eat because its not fair to him.
I have weight to lose and a goal of running a half marathon but its hard to work towards it without his support.
I recently had a baby (5 months ago..lol) and am trying to lose weight. I do good on my diet and exercise until my husband comes home from work.
My husband works in the oilfield on a schedule of 16 days on and 5 days off. I do great on the 16 days that he is gone. But when he comes home...you can forget the diet. Its not like I just give up. My husband feels like I should eat normal when he comes home. Its extremely hard on me. I try to cook things healthy and try to eat as healthy as possible when we go out but it's extremely hard.
I can't get him to understand that I will cook him what ever he wants but I just want my shakes or whatnot. Even with that offer he still feels like I should change how I eat because its not fair to him.
I have weight to lose and a goal of running a half marathon but its hard to work towards it without his support.
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I understand. I'm in a log distance relationship and for the few weeks I won't see my boyfriend I do great and then the 5 days or so we're together I eat whatever he does (which isn't so great). I don't know how to navigate it!0
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My husband didn't fully get it until he saw my before and after pictures. Personally do what you have to do. I have my food scale sitting on the table and i weigh everything and log before dinner and you know what? I don't care. This is for me. My husband is used to it now and he loves how my body is changing. It comes with the change.0
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Me, too!
My husband works in various cities during the week, during which I can plan meals and stick to my diet/exercise plan like a 4-star general. When he comes home, it's like we have to binge or something. Or maybe that's just my willpower looking for an excuse to disappear? I eat stupid stuff and feel super guilty, and wish he'd leave so I could go back to my structured routine! Well, you know what I mean. It's not his fault, it's mine. He flies in tonight and I refuse to do it again this weekend.
kayholt, are you on some sort of 10-shakes-per-day diet? "Eating normal" doesn't have to mean Wendy's, it can mean lean meats, complex carbs and vegetables.0 -
Prepare real food, you can make it healthier than he realizes, if you're just eating or drinking shakes - well, will you do that every day the rest of your life? Or could you learn some healthier actually prepared at home foods so he feels like he's eating, and you get to do something that IS sustainable for life?
Shakes and meal replacement bars have their place, but it's not as a replacement for a meal or two every day as much as coaches / vendors may like that.
If he likes tv dinners or the frozen meals, have a look at what he's taking, make a home-made version, since Michelinas can freeze pasta for 9 months I can too in my freezer at home for a week or two, soups / stews, slabs of turkey... pancakes / waffles Aunt Jemima can freeze them for a year? I can for a couple weeks or a month and control what's in it unlike the "blueberry" ones you can buy without any actual blueberry to be found in the ingredients list.0 -
Im from Louisiana, where there are no men south of I10 pretty much for half of every month. Then they all come back from the rigs all at once. Drunk, naughty, starving, ready to party... I was about to dive in to help you til I saw 'shakes'.
Agree with husband. Eat real food. Compensate at the gym or on your livingroom floor.0 -
We would love to support you in your goals and also give you some people to bounce ideas off and to support you.
So welcome to the community and feel free to add me as a friend
Lets to this "live the moment"0 -
.... I was about to dive in to help you til I saw 'shakes'.
Agree with husband. Eat real food. Compensate at the gym or on your livingroom floor.
This. Maybe you can't eat all the fried chicken, brisket, Mac and cheese,and biscuits with him, but there's no reason to be sitting around drinking shakes. Ever. If he's home or not, you'll have more success eating real food0 -
Why are these people bugging you about shakes?
See that's the problem right there. You were asking about getting your husband to support you in your goals, not What do you think about diet shakes? If that's your plan, then that's your plan.
What you should do is show him how you are tracking your food on-line, and show him how that helps you reach your goal. Then show him what eating one of his meals you do to your goal. Tell him if he keeps bugging you about the two of you eating the same thing, he better get ready to start drinking diet shakes when he gets off the rig.
Good Luck0 -
Hey guys! I am new to this and looking for friends and some motivation! Feel free to add me!!
I recently had a baby (5 months ago..lol) and am trying to lose weight. I do good on my diet and exercise until my husband comes home from work.
My husband works in the oilfield on a schedule of 16 days on and 5 days off. I do great on the 16 days that he is gone. But when he comes home...you can forget the diet. Its not like I just give up. My husband feels like I should eat normal when he comes home. Its extremely hard on me. I try to cook things healthy and try to eat as healthy as possible when we go out but it's extremely hard.
I can't get him to understand that I will cook him what ever he wants but I just want my shakes or whatnot. Even with that offer he still feels like I should change how I eat because its not fair to him.
I have weight to lose and a goal of running a half marathon but its hard to work towards it without his support.
How about stepping up and saying that if he feels bad because you are eating better then maybe and should think about why that makes him feel bad?
Other than that, stick to what you want to do, no reason to give it up for anyone.0 -
Why are these people bugging you about shakes?
See that's the problem right there. You were asking about getting your husband to support you in your goals, not What do you think about diet shakes? If that's your plan, then that's your plan.
Good Luck
The point we are trying to make is that you dont need to drink just shakes for 16 days then freak out about real food. It is completely possible to lose weight not just drinking diet shakes.
Point making that OP is freaking out about something that doesnt need freaking exactly0 -
Why are these people bugging you about shakes?
See that's the problem right there. You were asking about getting your husband to support you in your goals, not What do you think about diet shakes? If that's your plan, then that's your plan.
What you should do is show him how you are tracking your food on-line, and show him how that helps you reach your goal. Then show him what eating one of his meals you do to your goal. Tell him if he keeps bugging you about the two of you eating the same thing, he better get ready to start drinking diet shakes when he gets off the rig.
Good Luck
Just break up0 -
1 - Depends what kind of shakes you're talking about. If you are talking about protein shakes, cool, if you're talking about meal replacement shakes... well there's a lot of people here who will disagree with that method (myself included).
We disagree because that usually means going for a low-calorie diet, so you lose weight, but when you go back to eating normal foods you gain it all back and then some. A lot of people here think it's better to eat normal (good for you) foods in reasonable quantities and to pump up your exercise - especially your weight lifting - so that you get stronger and healthier in addition to burning fat.
2 - As far as being able to make good food choices when your husband comes home... it depends what he's saying. If he's saying that he thinks meal replacement shakes are a bad idea, then I agree with him. However if he's saying that it's silly for you to want to lose weight, "just one won't hurt," "c'mon finish it, it's so good," "why aren't you eating?" "I'm finally home, I want to go out to eat with you," etc. ...then he's not being understanding of your goals. A partner should be supportive of these things. In that case, your only choice here is to stand up for yourself and tell him clearly and confidently how important this is to you. If you're usually a timid person, the change usually gets people's attention.
Good luck! Hope this helped to clear things up.0 -
Well, I don't know...she said "shakes or whatnot," so my impression is that she 'does' eat, just not the food her husband considers a "meal."
I know that when my husband is not around, I eat differently. For example, I can buy one slice of pizza and be perfectly satisfied. When he's home, we'll buy the whole pie. I will also cook differently and will make more food than I would if I were alone...and then there are the LEFTOVERS. On Friday nights, he likes his fish & chips, but he gives ME the chips, which I wouldn't normally eat if I was alone.
BUT, I do work around it. I will fix him what he wants and I will often eat the same thing, but in much smaller portions. It's all in the way you arrange the food on your plate so it looks like you're eating more than you actually do. I also eat slower which gives the illusion that I am eating the same amount he is.
One thing he really likes are grilled cheese sandwiches and I love them too, however, I use "Aunt Millie's 35 Calorie Per Slice" whole grain bread and one slice of Kraft Cheese. He doesn't realize that the entire sandwich is around 130 calories, or less if I use "Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray, which would make it 115 calories. On his sandwich, I will add grilled onions and peppers and it looks absolutely decadent and delicious. I'll serve it with a crisp green salad with dressing on the side or a bowl of tomato soup, sometimes both. It looks like a large meal, yet it's low in calories and fat. (Visuals are important...you can make a low cal meal that looks fit for a king sized appetite, and YOU can eat it without guilt and not be accused of eating 'rabbit food.')
It's all in the way you look at it. Fool the eye and fool the guy, LOL! 99% of the time, he is eating healthy and he doesn't even know it! :bigsmile:0 -
i do good till its underwear washing day see i got one loose pair and one tight pair tight pair weeks i eat less because iam aware of the tightness loose weeks well its just nuts everywhere so i know how you feel iiii know0
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My situation is alot like yours but reversed...I am the husband that works away from home alot (oil patch work) and when I come home the wife is always cooking really nice meals and baking cookies and even though she trys to be understanding I can tell she is still frustrated when I dont always eat what she prepares.
It has taken about 4 months but it is working itself out but she still says she is not used to doing what I am doing...
Just keep doing what you are doing and dont let anyone steer you otherwise...afterall essentially you are doing this for YOURSELF.
Feel free to add me.0 -
Why does he feel it "not fair" to him if YOU eat what's working for you? He can still enjoy whatever he wants when he's home....it shouldn't matter what you're eating.....I can't get him to understand that I will cook him what ever he wants but I just want my shakes or whatnot. Even with that offer he still feels like I should change how I eat because its not fair to him.0 -
I know that on his 5 days off he wants to rest but you don't get 5 days to rest. Tell him if he wants something not-healthy then he can cook it.0
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I dont agree with shakes as meal replacement but, that is just my personal preference...TO EACH THEIR OWN!!
As for the hubby, my husband tried that a little bit. He also brought home "junk" and I would eat it because it was there! FINALLY, I kicked myself in the rear, STOPPED eating the JUNK he brought home, and took control of what I was eating! The only meal we actually eat as a FAMILY is dinner anyway so, I compensate for that meal with the rest of the day. BUT, even then, I control my portions and do what I need to do for me. He had snide comments once in a while about it, and especially about me getting up so early (because I had to go to bed earlier at night). BUT, once he saw I was getting results and looking better (he comments on the fact I am getting a butt now...LOL), he stopped and lets me do what I need to do. AND, actually, now he listens to me about HIS "diet"!!
So, my advice, do what you need to do for YOU and he will realize!! GOOD LUCK!!!0 -
My husband works in the oilfield also 14 and 14 and when he comes home I tend to slack off on my workouts because he is home and I dont wanna spend all that time working out.. I do eat whatever I cook for him but I weigh it and try to eat the healthier portions..0
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My husband feels like I should eat normal when he comes home. Its extremely hard on me. I try to cook things healthy and try to eat as healthy as possible when we go out but it's extremely hard.
I can't get him to understand that I will cook him what ever he wants but I just want my shakes or whatnot. Even with that offer he still feels like I should change how I eat because its not fair to him.
Your husband is right - part of being a family is the sitting down together and the sharing of food made with heart. He obviously misses (and LOVES) you enough to say something, whether or not it's articulated well. You can't sustain a diet of shakes only forever - that's a recipe for failure and self disappointment. Yes, it's hard when you're just starting to learn how to cook healthy meals you can share with your family. BUT...that's a beautiful gift to them and to yourself, don't you think?
Best of luck.0 -
Oh dear. Well, I don't think that shakes should replace meals. Unless that was just an analogy that you were using.
Weight loss won't "work" (as in, the weight may leave, but it will come right back on) unless you make it a lifestyle, and I at least, can't see myself having shakes as meals for the rest of my life. So I recommend that you cook healthy meals, stock up on healthy snacks and foods, and watch the calorie content, if he doesn't even like THAT, then just do what you need to do, to get where you need to be!0 -
Why are these people bugging you about shakes?
See that's the problem right there. You were asking about getting your husband to support you in your goals, not What do you think about diet shakes? If that's your plan, then that's your plan.
What you should do is show him how you are tracking your food on-line, and show him how that helps you reach your goal. Then show him what eating one of his meals you do to your goal. Tell him if he keeps bugging you about the two of you eating the same thing, he better get ready to start drinking diet shakes when he gets off the rig.
Good Luck
Because her husband has a point. If my partner saw me doing nothing but drinking shakes, he'd be worried and want me to eat real food too.0 -
I don't like the shakes either. I like the crunch and texture of food. My husbands theory was always that he could bring anything he wanted into the house and it was up to me NOT to eat it! I eventually learned to trick him. I 'd cook lots of his favorites but modify them so I could eat, then I'd take small portions and eat slow and drink a lot of water. At the same time I'd sneak in food I knew I could eat lots of. I learned to boil a huge bad of mixed vegetable and add 1/2 more of corn so it was really yummy. I'd probably eat 2-3 portions during my meal, hopefully without him noticing so I was always eating while he was eating... Salt is a weakness of mine so I always salt them... Sometimes I'd put a bit of butter and learned to love them. Making a huge bowl gave me leftovers for TV at night or during the afternoon.. In the end my husband is worth more than anything to me than losing weight but I lose it and keep it off by cheating (kind of -lol). I also never mention what I'm eating or question him about what he's eating. He has lost weight right along with me. When he showed me his belt had moved a notch over I didn't say a work - I just grinned!0
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i do good till its underwear washing day see i got one loose pair and one tight pair tight pair weeks i eat less because iam aware of the tightness loose weeks well its just nuts everywhere so i know how you feel iiii know
This made me laugh.0 -
You can eat what your husband eats just eat smaller portions and fit it into your calorie count. I eat everything but bread and dairy, and occasionally I will have a couple of chocolates and some cheezies, not in the same day but I am not depriving myself. You need to remember also who you are doing this for.....I have a shake every morning for breakfast but I load it up with fruit, oatmeal, spinach it gives me my greens my fiber and all of my nutrients and then I eat my snacks and meals......I have lost the cravings and I don't sit at home at night wanting more food. You can do this, do this for yourself, no one else.0
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I usually don't get into this, however, this just bugs me. When people try to benefit themselves, their significant other should be supportive.
When you do cook for him when he is home, use ingredients that will prevent having a lot of calories - exp, don't use butter, use "pam" on the pan. Instead of having a hamburger, switch to steak (coming from the girl who doesn't eat beef or pork :P). If you have chicken, don't fry it, bake it. Mash potatoes, don't use cream, use skim milk. If he doesn't like it, too bad for him! You're going out of your way to cook for him, he should appreciate what you're doing.
It's as simple as doing groceries before he gets home and making sure there is enough for him to snack on and enough for you to too small nibbles but not over indulge. another example, get him a bag of chips, get yourself "calorie wise" snacks or get him a bag of chocolates(or a box) and get yourself a 100 calorie chocolate bar. This way, you're still 'indulging' with him, not messing up your lifestyle change (I don't call it a diet - diets are temporary) and you're all happy - or so I would hope!0 -
Your point is valid that shakes aren't the best way to go, but I don't think the OP said she's ONLY eating shakes, and not real food. Her diary is closed, so the "nothing but shakes' part is quite possibly just an assumption..Because her husband has a point. If my partner saw me doing nothing but drinking shakes, he'd be worried and want me to eat real food too.0 -
I don't allow my family members to sabotage my eating. If they want something different, that's fine with me. They are not allowed to pick on, pick apart, or comment on what I'm eating, unless they include an "hey, that looks good, can I try it?".
If they feel my food choices are too much of a problem for them to fix, then I fix my own.
Simple: don't allow others to treat you the way you don't want to be treated. Flat out say "my food, my body, my choice".0
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