bully boss? is this normal?

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  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I personally never liked bully in the playground when I was a kid and won't tolerate them when I'm a grown up. Try to record these things or at the very least, record what time he says them. DO what is RIGHT (take your days off etc.). Is he the owner or is there somebody above him? Next time he says you can be fired just say "and you can be sued" (sing it if you like).

    Start looking for another job. No job is worth the stress. Stress takes a huuuuge toll over you.

    Good luck
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
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    Is it just you who the boss is targeting? Or do they treat everyone the same way? If they treat everyone the same - you need to all complain to HR. If it's just you that is being targeted, that's a far more slippery slope. Even documentation can turn into a "he said, she said".

    Decide what's most important and act accordingly. Sometimes even a horrible job is better than no job at all.

    Good luck!
  • Roboartist
    Roboartist Posts: 99
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    I worked with a boss like that, definitely agree with documenting and going to HR. The boss in my situation was never like that to me but I witnessed on several occasions her treatment of coworkers like that. I went to HR and apparently so did another person who witnessed the behavior but was not at the receiving end either. If you have trusted coworkers you could confide in definitely get them on your side.

    It made for a very uncomfortable work place and she was eventually dismissed with that behavior being one of the nails in the coffin. I wish you the best of luck.
  • jj1973
    jj1973 Posts: 131 Member
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    Here's what I would do the next time she said something...

    In a non confrontational tone - and in private if possible,

    "You keep mentioning firing me, and I would hate for that to happen. Are there some things that I need to improve on?"

    Sounds like your boss may be passive aggressive - which means he/she likes to hint at what you should do differently instead of telling you directly. Sometimes you just have to manage up - If you don't want to lose your job, take the initiative and start a constructive dialogue. Even if it doesn't work out, you might get some feedback that could help you down the line. - even if it is at a different job.
  • jbug5j
    jbug5j Posts: 277 Member
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    this is all good advice. thank you everyone :) i just hope that when whatever time comes i can "man up" and speak my feelings, in an adult non-confrontational way
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    It took me a long time to learn how to stick up for myself and confront in a constructive manner.

    I got fired from a job I was at for 12 years. Every single one of my performance reviews was excellent.

    Then new management came in and "cleaned house". I was one of the casualties because I made too much $$/hour.

    That did it for me. I'm no longer afraid of being fired. I'm smart. I'm a darn good nurse. I know what I'm doing and I shouldn't be afraid to speak up.

    Neither should you :)
  • jbug5j
    jbug5j Posts: 277 Member
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    It took me a long time to learn how to stick up for myself and confront in a constructive manner.

    I got fired from a job I was at for 12 years. Every single one of my performance reviews was excellent.

    Then new management came in and "cleaned house". I was one of the casualties because I made too much $$/hour.

    That did it for me. I'm no longer afraid of being fired. I'm smart. I'm a darn good nurse. I know what I'm doing and I shouldn't be afraid to speak up.

    Neither should you :)

    :):flowerforyou:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I Never had a boss that treated me like that. EVER! I don't know what I would do if that happened, quit I think. I've quit jobs for less, actually.
  • blessedmommy5
    blessedmommy5 Posts: 4
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    I agree.

    Also, be careful with the recording advice and check your state's law regarding whether or not consent must be provided prior to recording. Believe in protecting yourself and find strength to have a conversation. It may be hard but you have to begin documenting your the issues that have taken place. Seek solid recommendations from your HR department especially if others have witnessed or experienced what you have. This chat will only provide advice you need to speak to your direct HR reps. for whom you work.

    Sending prayers up for you!

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