Ending 1200 Calorie Bashing: Respecting Your Peers

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  • kimcycles100
    kimcycles100 Posts: 1 Member
    I love the thought and confidence you put into your post. 7 x 5k is really awesome. You go!!!!
  • Maidofmer
    Maidofmer Posts: 908 Member

    I love when Men in particular have advice for women on weight loss . It's so cute

    Yeah, that's hilarious Who do they think are?

    And those male OB/GYN Consultants as well giving women advice in hospitals. How dare they!

    a guy OBGYN doesn't know what the hell he's doing. I've had several, and they don't know a woman's body like a woman.

    A doctor is a little different than a snarky dude on the Internet
    in my option a guy OBGYN doesn't know what the hell he's doing. I've had several, and they don't know a woman's body like a woman. with the last one that gave me my IUD, he told me that sticking a gauze pad soaked in iodine into my uterus wouldn't hurt at all. I know iodine on cuts burns like hell. before anything I asked if he could tell a real orgasm from a fake. since I almost kicked his teeth in when he shoved the pad in me, i'm guessing the answer was no.
  • skyeliz525
    skyeliz525 Posts: 54 Member
    "So again, please, try to actually be my fitness pals, not my fitness judge and jury."

    Ahhh, thank you - SOMEONE needed to say that! I get embarrassed at some of the off-topic, personal tirades that go on in the forums. Each person is different. I can't/won't do on 1200 cal per day, but that's me and MFP recommends 1500 per day, I think but I'm {sort of} IPOARM, so my intake is actually more like 1800 at the moment! And I respect that you are comfy at 1200 per day...I'd probably take some weight off much quicker if I did that too, but I'd be HANGRY (you know, Angry because I'm Hungry!!!)

    Now, seriously, how awesome is it that you've signed up for 7 5k's this spring??!?!?!?! That's inspiring!!!

    Keep on, keeping on. And best of luck to you!

    EDIT: ANd I should say that prior to joining MFP, I lost 27 lbs on my own, then I gained 10 back so my ticker says 0, but it's actually 17 from when I started this journey. And now I'm well and back on track!!!
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
    It's actually NOT easy to be snarky and judgmental. I think most of us who roll our eyes at these "I'm different! I swear it! I will die if I eat more than 8 calories per day!" posts would truly LOVE to be able to discuss healthy food and fitness techniques with the new members of the site.

    The problem is that most of the people who come here claiming to be looking for advice are really only looking for confirmation of their pre-existing misconceptions about weight-loss. And when you tell them they are wrong, they immediately get defensive. Any attempt to dissuade them from bowing before the systematic starvation throne is viewed as being mean, snarky, and judgmental.The people here who say "Eat more," "lift heavy weights," "stop doing 100 hours of cardio a week," etc., are people who have been there and done that and have learned from experience what is SUSTAINABLE and what only works for about six weeks.

    Then there is the inevitable "my doctor told me to do this, so you must not know what you're talking about" nonsense. Allow me to clue you in: most doctors don't know their *kitten* from their carotid arteries when it comes to losing weight. They tell you to eat 1000 calories per day because they don't KNOW what else to tell you. They spend their careers wiping noses, writing prescriptions for antibiotics, and passing people off to specialists. Experience has taught them that telling you to starve yourself will cause you to drop a lot of weight in a short amount of time, thus convincing you of their brilliance ... before you inevitably crash and burn, blame yourself, and settle on the fact that losing weight is simply not possible for you because you don't have the requisite willpower or discipline. And if you could think for yourself, you might have realized at some point along the way that maybe your doctor was wrong.

    If you don't want to take my word for it, that's actually a good sign because you absolutely SHOULD be doing real, independent research. Spend some time educating yourself rather than taking your doctor's advice as gospel.

    I think I love you. :love:
    '

    YES YES YES!

    THIS 100%.

    Even when people give polite advice, if it goes against the mindset the OP has decided on (not the OP of this thread, but the OP who would ask for advice, for example) then you still can somehow upset someone....people don't like to be told that they are/may be wrong. I also quite enjoy that responses that question or challenge the OP but are polite = "I've already said this but You clearly missed the point" but responses that agree agree = "Thanks! Glad someone gets it.". No, mostly everyone "gets it"...it's just that not everyone thinks the same way and everyone needs to be a bit thoughtful that this is the INTERNET. Don't let someone's words...simple typed out letters on your screen...somehow break you.

    I've seen good information disolve on threads because a group of people have decided that it's irrelevant and have deliberately wasted that thread with poptarts...hardly helpful. Just because that information is irrelevant to them because they can successfully tow the cals in cals out line regardless of what they eat doesn't mean that it works for another. Why does Dan mention eating whole foods and leptin...seems he is aware that this is something that needs to be navigated and that a user of IPOARM may need it and not realise it. What they do is block information that may be the key to another's weight loss because a lot of people have no idea that they are insulin/leptin resistant and there are some women who have pcos and don't find out til they are much older. It's this type of "censorship" that is childish. What they do is twofold..they prevent a 1200 from learning about nutrition but they also prevent that 1200 from realizing that they can actually safely increase cals with focus on nutrition. They are actually doing their cause a disservice. Some people inadvertently treat an underlying condition they aren't aware of. They don't know why it worked but they succeeded and may eventually find out. They can legitimately offer advice even if they are on 1200.

    There is critique and there is criticism...if you want a student to learn and be successful..I know which one I prefer to hear.
  • skb12573
    skb12573 Posts: 182 Member
    ROCK ON, CYSTER!!
  • zefreak
    zefreak Posts: 37
    I wish I could "like" this post :)
  • fairykelly13
    fairykelly13 Posts: 79 Member
    Do what works for you!

    I was on a diet where I averaged 1,250 a day and I lost almost 90 pounds. You do what your body responds to - not what the world tells you you SHOULD do. I get to eat more now, but that's because I'm trying to maintain now - not lose any more....
  • annabellio
    annabellio Posts: 127 Member
    Amen, Nat.
  • CaLaurie
    CaLaurie Posts: 178
    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for posting!!! :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • Inspirational post from an inspirational lady. Congrats on the 5K!
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    Unfortunately it seems like our society is much more comfortable ripping on other people rather than focusing on their own journey.

    However, this is a public forum and we know the trolls are around. Or the people who made it work for them, so they MUST know it all. It's our responsibility on a personal basis to say 'My doctor says this is ok, maybe I won't let this comment get to me.'

    I get a lot of people harping on my calories too, but you know what? I've lost 50 pounds since August and I have PCOS and diabetes. So it's harder than average.

    Keep doing what your doing, working with your doctor, and forget the people who are ignoring their own lives by trying to dominate yours. :)

    Keep it up girlie.
  • binknbaby
    binknbaby Posts: 207 Member
    I think more important than strict calorie counting is listening to your body and your needs. And I know for me, when I'm eating healthier food (not processed), it's much harder to get to my calorie goal without feeling totally stuffed. But I don't want to be stuffed--I want to be satisfied. We all should be listening to our bodies and hearing what we each need at that point in time. Maybe in a few years, you may be doing just fine on 1500, or even 2000, or maybe still at 1200. But as long as your nutritional needs are being met--as long as you have enough of the macros and micros to be fit and healthy, and not feeling starved, then you are doing exactly what YOU need to do.

    I think at times there is a lot of bashing all around, particularly for those of us who don't fit the mold of others. When someone says, "Hey, this is the journey I'm on, this is what works for me, and I'd love some support," the response should never be "You're doing it wrong!" or any form of shaming/attacking, but rather of learning from one another and supporting each other regardless of whether or not we agree on every little aspect of health/wellness/weight loss.

    PS. From one Cyster to another, keep at it and keep moving towards that goal. Listen to your body and what's right for you, and you will go far!
  • stephanj
    stephanj Posts: 898 Member
    You are awesome. Thanks for this.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    You can endorse a low calorie diet without directly telling people that it works for you, it'll work for them. It's implied when you make a very wordy post condemning the masses on the forums for directing people to the roadmap and other information that discourages very low calorie diets. The majority of people on the forum denounce 1200 or lower diets for a reason. It's not ideal, unsafe and unhealthy for most people. So just because your doctor recommends it for YOU, why is it offensive that it's pointed out to others to be too low. For most it IS too low and unhealthy, so pointing that out and directing them to more information isnt bashing at all. If *YOU* are called out in the forums, then defend it there. Because your post sounds like flame-baiting. It sounds like you are trying to stir up the debate. For most, it's not ideal. I'm happy for you that you are part of less than 1% it's good for. Why you wouldn't want to see the others discouraged from unhealthy dieting practices is beyond me. If I were in your position I might caution others from mimicking what I'm doing because only a doctor should be making those exceptions. Instead you seem to give the impression that it's right for many, that lots of your friends are special snowflakes bullied by the forums.
  • crazy4lulu
    crazy4lulu Posts: 822 Member
    i commend you for standing up to those who doubt what you are doing. I myself am apersonal trainer.... i NEVER give out advice to eating unless someone specifically asks me. i may know a thing or two about exercise... but a nutritionist i am not. Hell i dont eat the healthiest . I say if it works for you and you are speaking to someone and someone is helping you , then by all means good luck to you. and just so you know.... feel free to creep my profile... as i was once in the 300 range myself.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    You did your homework and you know what you're doing, forget the crap comments, they are not worth listening to. :)
  • jaebennetti
    jaebennetti Posts: 44 Member
    Well said. I lost 81 pounds prior to coming to MFP by doing exactly what you said. I have PCOS and found out when I was 18 yrs old, since that time I listened to people tell me how to lose weight and kept getting bigger. Screw em, I now do what works. I am proud of you for doing the same.
  • janecl
    janecl Posts: 121 Member
    Thank you for your post! I too am on a 1200 doctor recommended calorie limit. I don't get on forums much but do love MFP and the friends I have. I have spinal stenosis in my neck and need neck surgery. I am also morbidly obese, which I already knew and have tried dieting and regained. In order to have the surgery safely, I need to lose some weight. I see a dr once a month for guidance and use MFP. Please add me as your friend. It's not because we want the calorie limits but there is a genuine reason and I totally understand where you are coming from. Good luck and we CAN do this together!
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    Most immediately jump to 1200 calories, because they believe they will reach their goal faster. I can understand doing such a thing out of ignorance. However, that won't last long.

    The "everyone is different" mantra is getting quite old. No, everyone is not different. You can't defy the laws of thermodynamics. 1200 calorie diets coupled with an exercise program should not be "prescribed" to anyone. I don't care how big and or how much weight you need to lose. Weight loss is not a short term solution, it's a long term endeavor.

    Agree 100%




    I love when Men in particular have advice for women on weight loss . It's so cute

    Hate to ruin what might by my only opportunity to be "cute," but why can't men advise women on weight loss?


    Weight loss between the sexes is a teeny bit different . I've been on MFP since August , logging , measuring and working hard 5 times a week . My Fiancé who thinks chicken parm subs are a healthy lunch because chicken is in the name , doesn't work out , and wakes up at 3 am and eats donuts recently lost 10 pounds due to work stress . Granted he ate a few less cookies that week . My Father also recently lost 30 pounds by cutting out Bacon ! And before you ask he was having it everyday with breakfast . My Mother who eats salad everyday told me she might just kill him . That's the difference
    And that means nothing. Your husband and your father ATE under their caloric maintenance. You're acting like women follow some different set of rules. Sorry but they don't. The only difference is most require fewer calories. And when I mean by fewer, I don't mean by much.

    And if I have to be called snarky the so be it. I rather be snarky than enable a "snowflake" to create a blizzard. Like I have always said, a lot of people don't come here to help. They are looking for validation.

    You get to play the ignorance card once.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    great post. i stay between 1200-1300 cals a day, with a crazy binge day every 15th day. ive lost over 50 pounds since september. i know alot of people on here dont like the idea of 1200 cals a day, but it doesnt bother me too much what others think... i also, wear my pajamas to the grocery store and bank, yell at my kids in public, go to class with my teens when they break rules, and have weeds in my front yard... so, yeah... im just not one to really care about what others think... that being said, i too am monitored by my doctor, and she is very pleased with my progress...
  • mfoy94
    mfoy94 Posts: 228 Member
    You want respect on the internet? LOL.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    This thread has taught me something. I'm never going to mention someone's calorie intake numbers, ever. If I think they are hurting themselves, I'll say nothing. Because I might not have the verbal judo skills necessary to not come off as potentially... too forceful. OP, I hope you're able to tell people nicely enough if you think they are doing harm to themselves to have an actual impact. I hope you're skilled enough to convince them without hurting their feelings and without encouraging potentially harmful relationships with food.

    I'll admit now, I don't have those skills.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    This thread has taught me something. I'm never going to mention someone's calorie intake numbers, ever. If I think they are hurting themselves, I'll say nothing. Because I might not have the verbal judo skills necessary to not come off as potentially... too forceful. OP, I hope you're able to tell people nicely enough if you think they are doing harm to themselves to have an actual impact. I hope you're skilled enough to convince them without hurting their feelings and without encouraging potentially harmful relationships with food.

    I'll admit now, I don't have those skills.
    Brower, I am with you 100%. It appears you can't talk about three things now: Politics, Religion, Caloric intake.
  • lpina2mi
    lpina2mi Posts: 425 Member
    This needed to be said and you did a superb job.

    For those of us overweight with less poundage to lose, the same variability in metabolism and dynamics of health still exists. Hence the variability and appropriateness of nutrition and exercise remains true too. I want to underscore your sound practice of using the skills and knowledge of a trained professional to help design a program that works for you.

    My maternal family has a history of endocrine and auto-immune issues. My doctor (MD & wholistically trained) continues to be a valuable resource to me.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    i commend you for standing up to those who doubt what you are doing. I myself am apersonal trainer.... i NEVER give out advice to eating unless someone specifically asks me. i may know a thing or two about exercise... but a nutritionist i am not. Hell i dont eat the healthiest . I say if it works for you and you are speaking to someone and someone is helping you , then by all means good luck to you. and just so you know.... feel free to creep my profile... as i was once in the 300 range myself.

    What a great attitude. I would love to have you for a personal trainer. You look freaking amazing!
  • MrsWitt01
    MrsWitt01 Posts: 10 Member
    Thank you for sharing this :smile:
  • nikbolok
    nikbolok Posts: 107 Member
    I'm not a doctor, but I'm an ICU nurse who sees comatose patients who cannot move or do anything all day..... they are fed 1600 calories just to maintain life. Sure, the 1200 calorie diets are great for quick weight loss, and may be very beneficial to those who are morbidly obese who need to lose a lot of weight in a faster manner than others. I once saw a "weight loss" doctor who told me that I should eat 1200 calories despite training for a marathon and working out 30-60 minutes a day, 5 times a week. If I ate this much and worked out this much, I would lose weight. I didn't, I had no energy, I felt like garbage. Again, 1600 calories needed to maintain a body that is doing NOTHING...... I think it is a worry when people maintain this 1200 calorie diet for long term, or like others have brought up, have what is believed to be ED's. The thing about MFP is it's NOT a medical site, and people (I believe) think there is a doctor behind the curtains fixing your calorie count for you individually. It's not. It gave me 1200 when I first started, and I thought this was right for me. Sure everyone is different, but as someone mentioned, it is science, and 1200 can't possibly be maintained long-term for a healthy lifestyle. This is not bashing, it's just airing genuine concerns.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Most immediately jump to 1200 calories, because they believe they will reach their goal faster. I can understand doing such a thing out of ignorance. However, that won't last long.

    The "everyone is different" mantra is getting quite old. No, everyone is not different. You can't defy the laws of thermodynamics. 1200 calorie diets coupled with an exercise program should not be "prescribed" to anyone. I don't care how big and or how much weight you need to lose. Weight loss is not a short term solution, it's a long term endeavor.

    Agree 100%




    I love when Men in particular have advice for women on weight loss . It's so cute

    Hate to ruin what might by my only opportunity to be "cute," but why can't men advise women on weight loss?


    Weight loss between the sexes is a teeny bit different . I've been on MFP since August , logging , measuring and working hard 5 times a week . My Fiancé who thinks chicken parm subs are a healthy lunch because chicken is in the name , doesn't work out , and wakes up at 3 am and eats donuts recently lost 10 pounds due to work stress . Granted he ate a few less cookies that week . My Father also recently lost 30 pounds by cutting out Bacon ! And before you ask he was having it everyday with breakfast . My Mother who eats salad everyday told me she might just kill him . That's the difference
    And that means nothing. Your husband and your father ATE under their caloric maintenance. You're acting like women follow some different set of rules. Sorry but they don't. The only difference is most require fewer calories. And when I mean by fewer, I don't mean by much.

    And if I have to be called snarky the so be it. I rather be snarky than enable a "snowflake" to create a blizzard. Like I have always said, a lot of people don't come here to help. They are looking for validation.

    You get to play the ignorance card once.

    Women DO need a different amount of calories AND their fat intake needs to be higher than men's. Hormones. They control much more than most realize.
  • Natalie -
    I'm new to this site. However, I wanted to comment on your post.

    First of all, the amount of information that you have and research you have done speaks volumes - you have done your homework, and you made me feel better about my calorie intake (I have been attempting to go mostly vegetarian, so I'm having lower calories than recommended but higher carbs). You should be proud of your accomplishments - you've lost 16 pounds and you are making lifestyle changes that will help you stay healthier for the rest of your life.

    On any forum, there are going to be naysayers who mean well but send negative vibes out of their tapping fingers without even realizing that's what they're doing. You are strong, and you know your body's needs. Ignore the naysayers and stand strong in your own knowledge. With that said, it would be a shame to have your voice silenced here. Please continue to post and be part of this family I am just getting to know.

    I hope that you continue to get support here and you continue to share. It seems to me that you have a lot of knowledge to offer.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    You can endorse a low calorie diet without directly telling people that it works for you, it'll work for them. It's implied when you make a very wordy post condemning the masses on the forums for directing people to the roadmap and other information that discourages very low calorie diets. The majority of people on the forum denounce 1200 or lower diets for a reason. It's not ideal, unsafe and unhealthy for most people. So just because your doctor recommends it for YOU, why is it offensive that it's pointed out to others to be too low. For most it IS too low and unhealthy, so pointing that out and directing them to more information isnt bashing at all. If *YOU* are called out in the forums, then defend it there. Because your post sounds like flame-baiting. It sounds like you are trying to stir up the debate. For most, it's not ideal. I'm happy for you that you are part of less than 1% it's good for. Why you wouldn't want to see the others discouraged from unhealthy dieting practices is beyond me. If I were in your position I might caution others from mimicking what I'm doing because only a doctor should be making those exceptions. Instead you seem to give the impression that it's right for many, that lots of your friends are special snowflakes bullied by the forums.
    This is incredibly well put and I agree with it completely.
This discussion has been closed.