Over 40 lbs. gone but frustrated

Rhonnie

A lot of people are scared to comment on someones weight. Also a lot of people don't want to confront the fact that they need to lose weight so don't bring it up.

airangel55

Here's another point of view.

Sometimes we can get addicted to the positive feedback we get from family and friends to the point of feeling depressed when the comments stop. This can undermine the reason you were doing this in the first place.

I know you said they didn't notice but maybe they did and didn't want to say or equally important. If they had showered you with praise and then stopped how would you feel.

Why not just talk to them about it openly. Then remember who you are really doing this for. You have worked hard and have success that was not based on what other's think or say. Keep up the great work.

Vercell

wow you have to love family, to funny.

Vercell

Dont feel bad I was at work and one of my clients ask me if I was I sick I have lost alot of weight and that I dont need to lose anymore weight.

a778c466

I have a friend that when I lost weight the last time, said that she never said anything about it because when she loses weight she hates when people congratulate her. So she was doing for me what she wanted people to do for her. I like people noticing because it gives me motivation but some people are not like that.

Anyway, congratulations on your loss!

NRSPAM

Yes, some people think it's rude to say anything. My father in-law is the nicest guy, comes around to help with my LO all the time, since my hubby's always working, but he doesn't say anything. I guess they feel like if they say anything, then that means they thought you didn't look good before you lost the weight. He's actually told me before that he didn't want to say anything, thinking it might offend me, and I told him I love compliments, but he still doesn't say anything! lol. Lots of other people give nice compliments about my loss, though, so it doens't bother me.

NRSPAM

Here's another point of view.

Sometimes we can get addicted to the positive feedback we get from family and friends to the point of feeling depressed when the comments stop. This can undermine the reason you were doing this in the first place.

I know you said they didn't notice but maybe they did and didn't want to say or equally important. If they had showered you with praise and then stopped how would you feel.

Why not just talk to them about it openly. Then remember who you are really doing this for. You have worked hard and have success that was not based on what other's think or say. Keep up the great work.

This is so true! I work PRN, (as needed) so I only work once/week, or every other week, and everytime I work, everyone's always telling me how great I look, and that every time they see me, I look like I dropped 10lb's. Once I finally reach my goal, I don't know what I'll do when I don't get that attention anymore! Makes me have such a great day, to start off work like that!

tootoop224

I had the same issue, but they finally came around.

In the past, when I noticed peoples weight loss, I wouldn't say anything, because I thought it would be taken as "you were fat before", and then... what if I was wrong? It would kinda be like calling them fat. I try to mention it now as I love it when someone notices my loss, but I still worry a bit.

arlenem1974

is it just me or do most of the people who say you need to lose weight are big, sometimes even bigger then yourself.

gottalose55

Are they overweight? They could be jealous possibly??

Colleen118

AS a success story I can speak for both sides of this.

Don't let it bother you right now. It is noticeable and their lack of praise could be summed up to any number of things from being afraid to make you feel bad if they should be 'wrong' in their thought to being jealous that you have strated to do something to skeptical as to whether or not it is a lsting change or a short term fad... people are wired different and we can't assume their actions are intentionally hurtful.

as for once it becomes completely noitceable and you keep shrinking and shrinking and they still don't mention it, sweat it even less because you have succeeded. IF that person begins whining about their own size being too large merely politely point that it is hard to make serious changes but that to be healthy is a great feeling.

I have a couple of friends that have never once bothered to congratualate or remark on my progress. It hurt at first but I don't let it sway me now. I didn't make these changes for the attention and now that I do get a lot of attention, I find it can be an inconvenience being stopped in the restroom chatting with thsoe who haven't seem me standing (I work behind a desk) to see the full effects of my loss. One day recently at work I literally got no work done because after one collegue bumped into me in the hall she mentioned it to a bunch of other people who started coming to see me and emailing me... I appreciated it and was irritated all at the same time.

Colleen118

I'm with you! I've lost 30ish and my husband is the only one to notice really. But to me its just an even bigger motivator for me to really get the rest of it off and push myself even harder. I feel like if everyone noticed the loss right away I might get too comfortable or lax about it.

I know how you must feel. My body shows weight loss very easily, unfortunately, it also packs it on fast. When I lose weight others notice, but my husband doesn't. That is even more frustrating in my opinion

Your hubby may not notice because he sees you everyday like you do. For you it is noticeable because you are looking for it, he is not. My hubby has been a huge supporter, sometimes too supportive for me. I don't lax or anything like that but I am very self conscious and the compliments can get overwhelming.

mair123

Hi! It is so important to not let others frustrate you. 40 lbs. is a GREAT accomplishment, and remember at the end of the day- you are doing it for YOU- no one else.

I had to laugh because I can relate, but I also have something to add. I started MFP last February and have since lost over 60 pounds. As you know, it takes a lot of heart and dedication. For quite some time, other than a very few select people- no one seemed to notice. In all honesty, I was like- WTF??

In part, like others have said, it could have been my clothes. When you have so much to lose, you can't go buy yourself a new wardrobe every 5-10 lb drop. When summer vacation was over and school started again (I am a substitute teacher) all of a sudden, EVERYONE was asking me about my weight and complimenting me. It felt great, but I was baffled- I had been working on this for over 6 months, it wasn't something that happened over night, why were people only noticing now?

I am at the point where I am absolutely sick of talking about weight all the time. Sometimes, I want to pull my hair out when someone asks "What is your secret?". There are days that I want to sarcastically say, diet pills and puking are my secret- but I know that for the most part they mean well and are good intentioned. People now feel at liberty to ask/tell me things such as, is my husband more attracted to me now? i see you are still dieting/working out! don't lose anymore weight, you are too skinny now!

So the point of my long story is.....know you are a rock star who is fighting a hard and good fight. To heck with others and their comments or lack their of. At the end of the day, the only person you need to impress is YOURSELF. Keep up the great work!

JanaCanada

I feel for ya. Not one person has said one word to me yet.

I'ma keep goin' anyway.

fstender

I’m 38 years old 5’1”. My heaviest was 202. When I started on here last September I was 190. Now I’m 149.6. I actually thought by now people who hadn’t seen me since before I started on here would notice my weight loss. One of my aunts came over for a visit on the weekend with one of here daughters. Not one of them even noticed. I have lost over 8 inches in both my waste and hips. I can wear my profile shorts over my pants I wear now and have some room to spare. Does anyone else have this problem or am I the only one?

Have you went shopping for some new more fitting clothes yet...maybe your clothes are too lose and not showing what you have acomplished...Plus main thing is...how do you feel..do you feel better...that's what counts the most....

BobbieLee1959

Don't let it bother you! You notice a difference and that is ALL that matters! You are not losing it for them and maybe it is because your clothes are baggy, so they can't see what you can feel under there!!! My family on my hubby's side still have not said anything and it has been a year and 57 lbs. I don't care...I feel great and I am happily enjoying my success...boooooo to them and yay to me!!

CarrieStL

This is a classic example of why it's so important to be healthy for yourself and not anyone else. Although, having that gratification of people saying "Wow! You look great!" is awesome when it happens..... it not always will. People may be jealous, afraid to bring it up or really, really unobservant. Funny though...when we gain 5 lbs they are so quick to notice and comment? ..Lose 50 and they haven't a clue!

EXACTLY.

SailorSunira

Tactful people are afraid to encroach on the subject of heavy weight loss because it is just as likely you lost it because of heavy stress or a medical condition. I complimented a coworker once on her great hair and awesome weight loss once only to be told she had cancer, was losing weight due to chemo and she was wearing a wig. That has pretty much shut me up for good in terms of weight loss compliments. If someone admits to trying to lose weight and I can see a difference, then I will make a positive comment. Otherwise I leave well enough alone.

Maybe they're just being nice and waiting for you to share your joy with them. Why not tell people about your triumph if you want them to notice it?