dating advice
Replies
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I met a guy on a dating site and we have been texting and talking on the phone every day for two months. I have also stayed at his house nearly every week since we met. He is so sweet and has introduced me to his best mate and brother. I can’t help but worry if he is seeing other girls although he doesn’t seem the type and I do not know where he would get the time given we are in so much contact. Do I have the right to ask him if he is dating other people ? I just worry as online dating is new to me !
I advise this dude to run NOW. She is a stalker. oh wait just re-read, you wanted the advice? uh, um....maybe give him a second to breathe?0 -
no if u just met him its not your place to ask him things like that... the worse thing for a girl to do is be to clengy..... lol... because when your in a relationship together u will have enough of it already.... plus if ur feeling insecure now imagine 3 months from now.... no just stop... it doesnt matter UNLESS u are having unprotected sex.... WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER DO. lol... but if you are then yes ask him because its for your safety also.. if not than just wait for him to ask you to be his girlfriend....
If he ever lets you meet his parents thats when its serious... his best friend isnt that much of a big deal unless he has never let his friends meet a girl before..0 -
GPS tracker on his car.
hidden webcams around his home.
key logger software on his computer.
night vision goggles for those nights you spend watching his home from across the street in the neighbor's bushes.
you'll have your answer soon enough and he need never be the wiser!
or, you could just ask him.0 -
He has never given you a chance to wonder..why do?
Take it easy and enjoy it...There is no need to wonder or have talks..0 -
He has never given you a chance to wonder..why do?
Take it easy and enjoy it...There is no need to wonder or have talks..
I agree, if you're always together and he's given you no reason to wonder, so don't make it a thing. I do think you can put your big girl panties on and have the talk. At the very least find out if you're the only one in his bed. There doesn't need to be a definition or a title, but if it were me, I'd at least like to know that much.0 -
You need to talk to him about it. A lot of people date more than one person at a time. Especially as they get older. I personally don't see anything wrong with it either until you guys have the "where is this going talk". Usually about the 3 month mark is appropriate for that.0
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Personally I would tell him that another opportunity has arisen for me and I need to know if he cares one way or the other if I date other guys. That usually gets you all the information you need to know, good or bad. If he goes all "growling dog with a bone" then have the monogamy talk. If he's like "Whatever", then at least you know where you stand. If he suggests a threesome (this has happened to me) then you'll have to decide how you feel about that. lol
Edited to say: If there's one thing I've learned in 30 years of dating and relationships, it's NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!0 -
GPS tracker on his car.
hidden webcams around his home.
key logger software on his computer.
night vision goggles for those nights you spend watching his home from across the street in the neighbor's bushes.
you'll have your answer soon enough and he need never be the wiser!
or, you could just ask him.
^^ This except for the night vision goggles thats just overkill the webcams will pick up everything you need....or you can save money and time and just "ask him" but I am all for being super spy (aka STALKER)0 -
Wow 2 months in and your already questioning the trust in your "relationship". Jeez this could escalate quickly, why not just enjoy the time your spending together instead of creating false mistrust especially if he hasnt given you ANY reason to doubt him?0
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Personally I would tell him that another opportunity has arisen for me and I need to know if he cares one way or the other if I date other guys. That usually gets you all the information you need to know, good or bad. If he goes all "growling dog with a bone" then have the monogamy talk. If he's like "Whatever", then at least you know where you stand. If he suggests a threesome (this has happened to me) then you'll have to decide how you feel about that. lol
Edited to say: If there's one thing I've learned in 30 years of dating and relationships, it's NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!
best response.
nice move, kasparov!
:drinker:0 -
Has he introduced you to his wife yet?
Ok, I think I saw Mickey from The Monkees in that GIF0 -
Personally I would tell him that another opportunity has arisen for me and I need to know if he cares one way or the other if I date other guys. That usually gets you all the information you need to know, good or bad. If he goes all "growling dog with a bone" then have the monogamy talk. If he's like "Whatever", then at least you know where you stand. If he suggests a threesome (this has happened to me) then you'll have to decide how you feel about that. lol
Edited to say: If there's one thing I've learned in 30 years of dating and relationships, it's NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!
BULL! That is absolutely playing a game. You're blatantly LYING to him pretending you want to go out with someone else in hopes of getting a rise out of him so he'll say "No baby, I can't believe you'd even consider that. I love you so much. Marry me now!!"
Absolute BS. You're too old to play such games! Ask him flat out if you want to know. "Are you seeing other people? I'd just like to know." WHY is that so hard? Why??0 -
BULL! That is absolutely playing a game. You're blatantly LYING to him pretending you want to go out with someone else in hopes of getting a rise out of him so he'll say "No baby, I can't believe you'd even consider that. I love you so much. Marry me now!!"
Absolute BS. You're too old to play such games! Ask him flat out if you want to know. "Are you seeing other people? I'd just like to know." WHY is that so hard? Why??
If you don't like the idea of lying about her meeting someone else, then just present it as "How do you feel about us dating other people?". I just think that to make it all about HIM and whether HE'S dating other people while presuming that SHE has already decided to be exclusive is just skewing the balance of the relationship over to where he's the one sitting at the table and she's the little dog begging below.
There's an old French saying that in every relationship there is one that kisses and one that presents the cheek. You'll understand when you're older about why it's important to be the latter.
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BULL! That is absolutely playing a game. You're blatantly LYING to him pretending you want to go out with someone else in hopes of getting a rise out of him so he'll say "No baby, I can't believe you'd even consider that. I love you so much. Marry me now!!"
Absolute BS. You're too old to play such games! Ask him flat out if you want to know. "Are you seeing other people? I'd just like to know." WHY is that so hard? Why??
If you don't like the idea of lying about her meeting someone else, then just present it as "How do you feel about us dating other people?". I just think that to make it all about HIM and whether HE'S dating other people while presuming that SHE has already decided to be exclusive is just skewing the balance of the relationship over to where he's the one sitting at the table and she's the little dog begging below.
There's an old French saying that in every relationship there is one that kisses and one that presents the cheek. You'll understand when you're older about why it's important to be the latter.
I suppose so! I mean... you've been dating for 30 years. Clearly you've mastered this "game." I stand corrected.
:flowerforyou:0 -
BULL! That is absolutely playing a game. You're blatantly LYING to him pretending you want to go out with someone else in hopes of getting a rise out of him so he'll say "No baby, I can't believe you'd even consider that. I love you so much. Marry me now!!"
Absolute BS. You're too old to play such games! Ask him flat out if you want to know. "Are you seeing other people? I'd just like to know." WHY is that so hard? Why??
If you don't like the idea of lying about her meeting someone else, then just present it as "How do you feel about us dating other people?". I just think that to make it all about HIM and whether HE'S dating other people while presuming that SHE has already decided to be exclusive is just skewing the balance of the relationship over to where he's the one sitting at the table and she's the little dog begging below.
There's an old French saying that in every relationship there is one that kisses and one that presents the cheek. You'll understand when you're older about why it's important to be the latter.
You do realize that a relationship is not about power, right? It is a partnership and such?0 -
Personally I would tell him that another opportunity has arisen for me and I need to know if he cares one way or the other if I date other guys. That usually gets you all the information you need to know, good or bad. If he goes all "growling dog with a bone" then have the monogamy talk. If he's like "Whatever", then at least you know where you stand. If he suggests a threesome (this has happened to me) then you'll have to decide how you feel about that. lol
Edited to say: If there's one thing I've learned in 30 years of dating and relationships, it's NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!
Hence why the best advice in this WHOLE thread is "HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE MAN". /thread0 -
Ask him.
Why do many women make is so Gdamn difficult?!
Also...I'd skip the games. Any guy worth having won't appreciate those sort of games to begin with. Dayum.0 -
You do realize that a relationship is not about power, right? It is a partnership and such?
Absolutely. If she wants to let him determine the pace of the relationship, then by all means she should keep quiet and wait so she can follow his lead. If she wants to be a partner, then she should be proactive about speaking up about her feelings and desires. I think two months of daily contact and weekly visits is not too soon to start clarifying some boundaries, especially if it's bothering her.0 -
You do realize that a relationship is not about power, right? It is a partnership and such?
Absolutely. If she wants to let him determine the pace of the relationship, then by all means she should keep quiet and wait so she can follow his lead. If she wants to be a partner, then she should be proactive about speaking up about her feelings and desires. I think two months of daily contact and weekly visits is not too soon to start clarifying some boundaries, especially if it's bothering her.
So....again, the best advice is just to ask the man rather than play these games.0 -
Ask him.
Why do many women make is so Gdamn difficult?!
Also...I'd skip the games. Any guy worth having won't appreciate those sort of games to begin with. Dayum.
right? Thank goodness I know where I stand, because I know how to use my words......0 -
You do realize that a relationship is not about power, right? It is a partnership and such?
Absolutely. If she wants to let him determine the pace of the relationship, then by all means she should keep quiet and wait so she can follow his lead. If she wants to be a partner, then she should be proactive about speaking up about her feelings and desires. I think two months of daily contact and weekly visits is not too soon to start clarifying some boundaries, especially if it's bothering her.
So....again, the best advice is just to ask the man rather than play these games.
Here people go... trying to make sense and stuff... Geez! You'd think direct, clear communication was important to the success of a relationship. :laugh:0 -
I'm just saying that she should remind him that dating other people works both ways. Is that so terrible?
True story - I was seeing a guy for several months (we hadn't had "the talk" but I was 22 and was still assuming things at that point) and one day I went over to his house and saw a newspaper left out with several singles ads circled. I asked him about it, and he gave me the whole "I want to keep my options open" speech, and I said okay. About two weeks later he wanted to know what we were doing Saturday night and I said I had a date (which I did, and I honestly didn't think he would care at all) and he got very upset. "But...what about us??". I reminded him that we were keeping our options open and he said, and I quote, "But I didn't mean YOU!!".
This is the mentality that we're working with. If you want to be exclusive, you have to spell it out. If you don't care or would rather have a don't ask, don't tell policy, then keep quiet. But never assume.0 -
I'm just saying that she should remind him that dating other people works both ways. Is that so terrible?
True story - I was seeing a guy for several months (we hadn't had "the talk" but I was 22 and was still assuming things at that point) and one day I went over to his house and saw a newspaper left out with several singles ads circled. I asked him about it, and he gave me the whole "I want to keep my options open" speech, and I said okay. About two weeks later he wanted to know what we were doing Saturday night and I said I had a date (which I did, and I honestly didn't think he would care at all) and he got very upset. "But...what about us??". I reminded him that we were keeping our options open and he said, and I quote, "But I didn't mean YOU!!".
This is the mentality that we're working with. If you want to be exclusive, you have to spell it out. If you don't care or would rather have a don't ask, don't tell policy, then keep quiet. But never assume.
"This is the mentality that we're working with...."
Dating thirty years people. And it's all the mens fault.
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I'm just saying that she should remind him that dating other people works both ways. Is that so terrible?
True story - I was seeing a guy for several months (we hadn't had "the talk" but I was 22 and was still assuming things at that point) and one day I went over to his house and saw a newspaper left out with several singles ads circled. I asked him about it, and he gave me the whole "I want to keep my options open" speech, and I said okay. About two weeks later he wanted to know what we were doing Saturday night and I said I had a date (which I did, and I honestly didn't think he would care at all) and he got very upset. "But...what about us??". I reminded him that we were keeping our options open and he said, and I quote, "But I didn't mean YOU!!".
This is the mentality that we're working with. If you want to be exclusive, you have to spell it out. If you don't care or would rather have a don't ask, don't tell policy, then keep quiet. But never assume.
I must have missed the chapter in the book of life where deliberately misleading someone and manipulating them is "spelling something out"0 -
Also I don't think that "dating for 30 years" is a good basis for making you an expert on relationships.
I would rather take the advise of someone "happily married 30 years and capable of maintaining a mature relationship"0 -
I said "30 years of dating and relationships". Reading comprehension much?0
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Manipulative and passive aggressive much?0
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This is getting fun....!
But, I'm only eating 1200 calories, and carbs are the devil... so, I can't eat popcorn while I watch this continue...
(sense my sarcasm?!)0 -
Grab some baby carrots instead)) 0
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