Self Sabatoge and sabatoging my family

juliec33

I'm not going to make any specific suggestions on food because I am not a nutritionist and everyone's body is different. BUT, I will say that probably the best thing you can do to help yourself succeed at this is to

take a deep breath

take a step back

and adjust your perspective a bit.

As someone who has lost a bunch of weight but more importantly made a LOT of internal changes, here are the things I recommend you keep in mind:

--major changes take A LOT OF TIME. You said in your post that you have dealt with these issues your whole life, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect major change in a short period of time. Compared to your whole life, 1 year is a short period of time and 1 month (which is not even how long you've been at this) is a reallllly short period of time. Yes, I understand the stakes are high but compassion and forgiveness for yourself and your "mistakes" are PARAMOUNT
--the easiest way to fail at making major changes is to attempt to make them all at once. You have a TON of things on your plate (please excuse the pun), and given how much responsibility you have, it's really important that you don't set yourself up for failure. I recommend you take some time to write out what your major goal is and then break that down into as many excruciatingly tiny goals as possible and then start with ONE. AT. A.TIME.
--be nicer to yourself in thoughts, words, and actions. If you are beating yourself up in any way ask yourself "How would I feel if ANYONE treated my family like this?" If your answer is anything but "I'd be totally fine with that" then STOP

Very well said!!!!! These changes take a long time...and can be very difficult. A lifetime of habits are not changed in one month.

Ashellini

I definitely am my own worst enemy when it comes to food. I am finding it hard to not indulge my sweet tooth. Tracking everything is really opening my eyes to where I am going wrong and hopefully I can find alternatives I like just as much to stay on track. My boyfriend also has a bad habit of bringing junk food into the house which is horrible for me. Trying to take it one day at a time and not beat myself up too bad over it.

Leigh012976

It's a struggle for all of us but the point is to get all that JUNK out of your house and keep it out!!!!!! no cookies, no bologna or processed meat crap. Give your daughter a PB & J sandwich over bologna sandwich (hopefully shes not allergic to nuts), on WHOLE WHEAT. also give her water instead of a juice. Yuck! If you dont have the junk in your house you wont want to eat it - and the kids ... .believe it or not, will adjust far quicker than us adults. They eat to survive mostly. I admit however i also have a 12 year old daughter and any time my son or my boyfriend wants junk, she feels she must eat it also! It is a CONSTANT battle. I have learned over the years of my boyfriend and I being together to adjust to 'some junk' being in the house for the sake of him and my son. they can eat it and never gain, but my daughter and I DREAM about a slice of pie and we are five pounds heavier the next day. I have instilled GOOD and healthy eating habits into my daughters life since she was about five years old, especially when I started noticing her 'love' for food or how much she could actually pack in. her desire to eat like a man, is becoming - in a bad way. she lost 12 pounds when she was 10 years old and she's kept it off luckily.

I know its easy to sabotage yourself but dont do it to your family. If nothing at all, change your lifestyle for your kids and for your family and youll find that when you focus on everyone else, it'll just be natural for yourself.

Also your daughter is old enough to take walks, or walk/runs and such so get her to go with you. Mine goes with me sometimes and it makes her feel so much better. oddly enough she is also in volleyball. Keep her active, and get yourself active also.

If you cant handle it, then dont have anything bad for you in the house. you WILL sabotage and you know it. switch to lean meats and veggies for a few weeks and youll see weight drop off. make sure your meat portions cooked are no larger than the palm of your hand (if you dont have a food scale).
Another good idea is to pre prepare your foods for a few days in advance. have plates ready to go for dinner or have lunches packed in containers portioned correctly so you arent tempted by eating more.

My daughter is the exact same way. I don't want to harp on her about her weight, but if she had a choice of an apple or a snack cake for a snack, she will choose the snack cake. I hope I can correct her eating habits.

Leigh012976

I did talk to my daughter yesterday when I picked her up, and she actually almost jumped at the chance to have a turkey sandwich instead of bologna. I asked her about a snack, instead of cookies, and she suggested pudding or jello. So, maybe this won't be too difficult.

As for my son, I don't think he cares, as long as he gets to eat your snack, lol. He is so funny going from person to person saying, "bite" bite".

Leigh012976

So I am pretty excited to go grocery shopping tonight. The husband is going to stay with the kids so I can shop in peace, lol. I have my list made out and I have told myself that I will not deviate from the list. I just talked to my daughter and she told me to pick her up some turkey for her lunches. I also have on my list carrots, avacodos, lettuce, apples, and bananas.

1ConcreteGirl

Step one: buy a digital kitchen scale and weight EVERYTHING before you log it, and log EVERYTHING before you eat it.

Do that for a week and you'll start seeing a difference.

chocl8girl

Figuring out food sucks. Our eyes are overtrained for MUCH bigger portion sizes than are correct, and over time, our stomachs get used to that, so a "normal" portion seems incomprehensible. But it CAN be learned. Healthier choices CAN be made.

I love this image:




Snacks have been the easiest thing for me to change up, honestly, it just takes practice and variety.
For ice cream, try freezing a banana and then blending it in the blender for your daughter. Seriously, it is freaking delicious.
Carrot sticks or cucumber slices and hummus
Almonds and a low fat cheese stick
Rice cakes (my 12 year old son LOVES these, especially the apple cinnamon ones)
Apple slices and peanut butter or plain yogurt
Fruit and fruit smoothies
Cottage cheese with fruit
Pretzels and peanut butter



Also, I know it's hard, but just because someone likes to eat something, doesn't mean it has to be bought. Out of sight, out of mind.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

AlsDonkBoxSquat

So I am pretty excited to go grocery shopping tonight. The husband is going to stay with the kids so I can shop in peace, lol. I have my list made out and I have told myself that I will not deviate from the list. I just talked to my daughter and she told me to pick her up some turkey for her lunches. I also have on my list carrots, avacodos, lettuce, apples, and bananas.

I've been working on keeping my own snacking in check. One thing I noticed a long time ago in my house, if it's already cut it's more desireable. I never want to sit and eat a whole apple, but if I go to the fridge and there's an apple already cut up ready to go I'll grab it. Grapes are more desireable already off the vine, carrots and celery and cucumbers and whatever in premade snack sizes. If it's a fruit or veggie that browns, well that's why I keep lemons on hand. You can either sprinkle them with a fruit preserve dust (in the baking aisle with the herbs, it's just a critric acid powder) or spray them with lemon or lime juice.

Also, if you folks dig dip (I love veggies and ranch dip) just pick up some greek yogurt and a hidden valley packet. One packet will flavor 16 ounces of greek yogurt making a protein packed tangy snack to go along with all those fresh cut veggies.

sammniamii

It takes time to relearn. It won't happen suddenly, but if you are noticing "after" the fact (home from the shopping") start making lists BEFORE going. Look over the list, see if you can spot the "unhealthy" choices you want to change and see what alternative versions there can be. Instead of cookies, get some flavored applesauce (no sugar added). Ice cream - look at coconut ice cream, flavored ices or even those small cups (portion control). You can have your snacks and stuff, but there are small tweaks you can do to start making things healthier.

Also, do invest in a kitchen scale - portion control of foods can help alot. Specially if you show the hubs & older child what a single portion is. I had to do that with my husband and he grossly underestimates calories on everything.

And check coupon sites - sometimes who can find some great deals on things.

Good luck and get at it, you will have a "omg" moment one day and from there it will easier.

danasings

The other thing to remember is that you must set a reasonable goal. You can't go from eating junk to being healthy by suddenly restricting to 1200 calories. Set your MFP goal to lose 1/2 a pound weekly. Then just try and stick to that. Don't make it harder than it has to be. Once you get a handle on that, you could drop your goal to lose 1 lb/week. You have to make this manageable. It's hard when you're a busy mom and wife and have a billion other responsibilities (esp. with a toddler!) So go easy on yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Adjust. Keep going. You can do this.

Excellent advice. Eating perfectly isn't necessary to reach your goals...making small changes along the way is. And make those changes permanent. If you slip up, start again.

Leigh012976

Oh and blueberries!!! I found out the other day my son loves blueberries. We were at his Aunt MiMi's house and her daughter was snacking on blueberries. He passed up everything else (ice cream) to eat those little blueberries.

I am gonna deviate from the list a bit and get a kitchen scale. I think I had a handle on portion size from my time years ago but maybe I don't. Will be interested to see

fizzyjerkthe3rd

its hard makg everyone eat well my son has just turned 18 mnths and has hit that fussy satge do i let him eat what he wants and actually eat or eat healthy and not touch it and drink minlk its not easy my hubby dont gain a LB and my daughter is under weight ( not badly) for her age i snack to keep up with them adn let them eat junk which is bad but it slow going small changes mae a big difference just keep going and eventually they will get there

TucksterC

One thing I have learned about Mommy-hood. If it looks good, tastes good and is sitting right in front of them, they will eat it.
Put a plate of cookies on the table. They will eat it.
Put a plate of apple slices on the table. They will eat it.
Put a bowl of cheetos out. They will eat it.
Put a bowl of grapes out. They will eat it!
Children will eat healthy food every time if it is a ready available choice. They will also go for the junk first, if it is a ready available choice. I will too! That's why I only buy it in very limited quantities now.
Quit buying crap. Period. Then you won't eat it too. Start buying healthy alternatives and get everyone in your family on healthy habits. On the weekend mornings I set out a plate full of fresh, clean, ready to eat fruit and veggies. Sometimes pita bread wedges, whatever, mix it up some. I invite everyone to eat from it, even random neighborhood kids. That plate is always cleaned out by the end of the day. Another bonus, you won't be interrupted all day long by hungry kids wanting a snack.

lawandfitness

I also have an 18 month old and a 4 year old.... I have been overweight almost my whole life so I do not want my kids going down this road. I decided October 20, 2012 that I had enough of being heavy so I changed my whole families eating plan....

As others have said DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!! You have done the right thing by talking to your daughter and seeing what she likes as healthy alternatives, first step in the right direction....

As far as your 18 month old, ensure he eats fruits and veggies daily, I say this because since my 4 year old started eating solids I ensure every meal of his consisted of 1 fruit 2 veggies and protein. Dairy goes with almost every meal and juice once a day.

My 4 year old knows this is standard.... today he was gonig to have chocolate cheerios for breakfast but passed for fruit salad... my babysitter tells me she has never seen a kid eat so many raw veggies like my 4 year old and I credit this to feeding him this way since he started solids.... try and do the same for your 18 month old, make this his habit and he will be more likely to make heatlier choices in the future....

But just so you know, my son has pizza night one night a week with left overs for lunch the next day (me and hubby will only eat pizza once every 2 weeks with him) and will have hot dogs occasionally or chicken fingers, but I just ensure to serve them with 2 sides of veggies and one sie of fruit.

Leigh012976

My son is already opting to eat the fruits better than the other stuff. He loves the multigrain cheerios and blueberries I discovered are another favorite. He still likes to eat ice cream with his dad, but I am gonna try and switch the ice cream for the frozen yogurt. I can't tell the difference maybe he won't either.

My daughter, might be the challenge, although I think she is coming around. She wants turkey now in her lunches instead of bologna which is a start, but she is so seditary. I know with it being cold now there isnt going to be any outside time right now, but last night I was doing my workout and she sat in the room and watched me. Now, hoping she will want to join in with me.

bluskies01

Try making a fun workout for her that the whole family participates in! We have a lot of fun just having dance parties. My son especially loves Jackson 5 songs for some reason. If you have a Wii, Just Dance Kids is really fun, we compete with each other to see who can get the high score ha. Although I usually end up sitting down about half way through a song. On bad weather days I even let my son jump on my bed lol, we've also made obstacle courses with couch cushions and pillows before. We "wrestle", usually just pushing him over or rolling around, but he loves it. He's only 6, but maybe she would enjoy some of this stuff.

nika_bolinhos

Hello there!

I read what you wrote and I think I might tell you how things were in my family home when I was growing up. I grew up with a very healthy diet, it is only now that I am a bit chubby, but I have a lot to thank my parents for, if it wasn't for my diet as a child I am sure I would be massive now a days and struggling really hard to adapt to healthy food. So if it work for your motivation for me to say this it would be great.
For my school snack I usually had carrot sticks and fruit. Having them in funny shapes and putting them in a nice colourful container helps a lot, kids love colourful things, they are pretty and encourages them to go with the healthy choice. For lunch usually sandwiches will do, a preference for home made is a good idea as well.
Fruit salads make amazing deserts and they can be mixed with ice cream, like this you will have less ice cream and plenty of healthy fruit. It is a great idea specially if your kids have friends over.
I am in favour of home cooked all the way. Even if its sweets, it is amazing how satiated I feel after baking cookies, and that is a common feeling for many. I end up eating much less than I would if I had bought them, and I know all that goes in it.
Another great thing is the slow cooker, with that you can easily make big meals that will last you a while with almost no effort, just chuck everything in the slow cooker and let it o its work while you are doing something else. Most meats used for slow cooking are the cheapest cuts you can possibly find, so it's great for those in a budget.
Salads can be delicious and easy to get to kids if its not only leaves, I find it is usually more enticing to have a very colourful plate full of peppers, tomatoes, cucumber and you can even add little bits of cheese and cubes of ham or chicken.

I hope I have helped somehow. I have a lot of easy recipes that can feed a battalion, so if any of you would like to add me and we can help each other with some healthy eating tips it would be great