To have 1 or more kids

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2

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  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Is it rude or sarcastic to say that it is sad that you are even asking this? It's a baby...a beautiful wonderful thing, and you are worried about your skin? It is what it is...you bring blessings into the world, and then you do your best to kick but, and not worry about it.

    Yeah but a flat stomach trumps the baby didn't you know that?

    Seriously OP... just... No.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    i preface this by stating that i am proudly Child Free By Choice.

    that said, if your only concern is what the pregnancy will do to your body, but you want another child, then it sounds like adoption is the way to go.

    if, however, the body concerns are just what you're willing to cop to and you genuinely do not want another child, then don't have one. spoiled kids come from bad parenting, not from being an only child. only children can be made aware that the world does NOT revolve around them. and that they do NOT *kitten* rainbows.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
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    If you're so unsure about having another child that you're asking strangers for pros & cons, then don't have another child.
    Bingo. Stick with the ones you've got.


    This...^^^ and I Also Agree With Crankstr
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    No, don't have more.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    My thoughts exactly. I am dying for kids, and I don't care what it might do to my body. If they aren't worth it to you, then don't bring them into this world. They don't ask to be born.

    i dont want children, but my reasons are nothing to do with what having a baby might or might not do to my body... i really dont understand mums who say that...

    you're having a baby, of course your body will change... if you dont like it, dont do it in the first place...!
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    In response to the question of "Are only children spoiled?"

    That's entirely at the hands of the parents.

    I'm an only child, we grew up dirt poor, and I worked my butt off to be in a better position at the age of 24 than my parents are currently, so... they did good in raising me with the right values and morals, and I'm only spoiled now because I can afford all of the things we could never get when I was growing up.
  • Michburrow
    Michburrow Posts: 8 Member
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    Me personally, l have 4 beautiful children and the girls and belly are a bit saggy. It is what it is and l would not change a thing. Decision to have my children was purely wanting them, to love and cherish, to enjoy not how l looked after.
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
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    You could always adopt.
  • jedibunny
    jedibunny Posts: 321
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    In all seriousness, if you have to ask publicly about whether it's a good idea, chances are you're looking for something other than your own decision to point at and say "This is why I don't want another child."

    Go with what YOU want for your OWN reasons, not what MFP has to say on the subject. If you aren't comfortable enough to rely on your own thoughts on the subject, ask your friends and people who know you well rather than a bunch of strangers. I say this with the best intentions; I wouldn't be comfortable trusting this forum to give me the answer to a life-altering decision. I barely trust them to give me solid nutritional advice. lol

    As for your question on only children: I totally agree with maab. I have a nephew who was an only child for most of his life (he's 18) and now has a little sister (6). He's a spoiled brat who thinks he sh*ts rainbows. But you know what? So is she. It's not the only-ness that does it... it's the parenting.

    Teach your children well (great, now I'm singing) and regardless of how many there are they'll be fine. Note I am comfortable giving this advice and NOT the advice as to whether or not to add to your family because it's pretty damn broad advice.
    :flowerforyou:
  • herstrawberri
    herstrawberri Posts: 347 Member
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    Honestly, you shouldn't have one. Nor do you deserve another one if all you care about is 'extra skin'. You should be thankful you are even able to HAVE children. Some of us can't, or are struggling really hard to have even ONE.
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
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    You won't be young forever. As you age, your breasts will sag and your skin will become more loose whether or not you have any more children.
    Personally, I will still be loving and enjoying my seven children long after my looks have faded.

    Love this!!
  • Southernb3lle
    Southernb3lle Posts: 862 Member
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    Does it matter what strangers have to say? If you have to ask..then you defo don't need anymore. Sure my kids put my body through hell but I don't care that they did..it was worth it. There are so many people out there that can't have kids.
  • FGVC1188
    FGVC1188 Posts: 122 Member
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    having and only child - You only have to put 1 kid through school.
    having 2 - If you mess up the first Kid, you can try better on the second one. (my younger sister is lucky)
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    For+every+woman+unhappy+with+her+postpartum+marks,+is+another+who+wishes+she+had+them+.jpg

    Just something to think about.
    There are worse things
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    having and only child - You only have to put 1 kid through school.
    having 2 - If you mess up the first Kid, you can try better on the second one. (my younger sister is lucky)

    She has 2 but only sees the oldest once a month :huh:
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
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    I think it depends on how long you want to be consumed by motherhood. If you think you're ready another 18 full years of being nothing but mommy (unless you have a career I suppose) then go for it. If you'd like the time and money to pursue travel, hobbies and get to a point where you can breathe sooner then quit while you're ahead. I know I'm a one kid at a time kind of person (my son is 18 and we are just now trying for another) because I didn't want to be all consumed and be able to have the freedom financially to do what I please and live an easier afforded lifestyle.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    At the risk of putting myself under fire I can say I understand both sides here. I think its frustrating for women who want children to hear that body changes are a concern for someone that has children.
    However no one here knows the OP's history. Many people have issues about their bodies that extend into many areas of their lives.
    I am a good mother. I wanted a child desperately. I also didn't think I could have children. I am so so so grateful for my son, but it was difficult for me to watch my body change so drastically after YEARS of emotion abuse surrounding my body.
    It seems incredibly unfair to deny those feelings or equate them with bad parenting. Sometimes its agonizing for me to look in the mirror and hear those words in my head. 'You're fat, you're gross'. I am a very logical person. But emotions are not always logical. It doesn't make me love my son any less because I don't like what pregnancy did to my body. I accept it. I work hard to improve it. Yes it was worth it, but that doesn't change my emotions surrounding it.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    At the risk of putting myself under fire I can say I understand both sides here. I think its frustrating for women who want children to hear that body changes are a concern for someone that has children.
    However no one here knows the OP's history. Many people have issues about their bodies that extend into many areas of their lives.
    I am a good mother. I wanted a child desperately. I also didn't think I could have children. I am so so so grateful for my son, but it was difficult for me to watch my body change so drastically after YEARS of emotion abuse surrounding my body.
    It seems incredibly unfair to deny those feelings or equate them with bad parenting. Sometimes its agonizing for me to look in the mirror and hear those words in my head. 'You're fat, you're gross'. I am a very logical person. But emotions are not always logical. It doesn't make me love my son any less because I don't like what pregnancy did to my body. I accept it. I work hard to improve it. Yes it was worth it, but that doesn't change my emotions surrounding it.

    I think this was well said.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    OP: since you put this out on a public forum, I am going to ask...why don't you have custody of your oldest child? I am not judging, just curious.

    My husband has two older half siblings, but he was raised by his single dad and while growing up saw his mom only once a year or so. He is basically an "only child," and is not the least bit spoiled. So no, not all only children are spoiled.

    You are only 28 years old. You just had a baby. Give yourself some more time and think about it. You don't have to decide right now if you'll have another child. And as for what pregnancy does to your body...well yeah, your body is not the same afterward, but you have a beautiful little baby to love. In my opinion there is no comparison, but if it bothers you that much then you should stop at two.
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
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    Honestly if those are your reasons, then don't have another. I don't think that should be any concern when thinking of having another child. If for some reason you did and ended up with horrible sagging skin, you wouldn't want to resent the child. Although, they shouldn't be resented for that anyways. To me, it doesn't seem like you are really wanting another one by your post. If you're not sure....do not do it.

    Edit for typos

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