Calling yourself "Fat"
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I hate the word fat and don't ever use it to describe myself. I always say big.
I think that for some people, calling themselves fat is the 'doing it before someone else does it'. I am sure that many of us have nastily been told by other people how fat we are
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By the way, everyone that has something negative to say about this post obviously doesn't have a complex with calling themselves fat. But the POINT of the post still remains clear.
I have never met a person in my life that has never said anything negative about themselves. The POINT of the post is to be kinder to ourselves. If you want to argue for the sake of arguing, you can do so. But if there is any woman on this message board that has never said one negative thing about herself, I'd like to shake her hand.
I'm not negging on your post. Just throwing a possible explanation out there. Undoubtedly we should all be kinder to ourselves and each other.0 -
I call myself "fat" because I am. Some of us would rather be honest. I do think I look fine--but it's not about looks when I say "fat". "Fat" is a word that had meaning long before people started using it as an insult. My dog is not fat, I'm having a hard time getting weight on him--a working German Shepherd that I got from a rescue last month, who would much rather 'do something' than eat. I say he's thin and I'm not insulting him either. I have one horse that's fat, the one in my pic, but nicely so--we say 'fat and happy' or something of the sort, also 'she looks good'. I have one horse boarding here who's still too thin, and we are working on it, we don't insult her by saying she's too thin either--we just need to be able to talk about what's going on and what we're doing about it.
I can't believe how many people are insulted by my being truthful about myself. Please learn to be honest--and realize that a person's value doesn't come from what they look like. If people are being insulting about anything, they are NOT people you want to run with--find new people. A person CAN be honest without being insulting. If you are feeling insulted when none was intended, then try to deal with it on your own--good relationships are worth WAY to much to get one's feelings hurt needlessly.
Besides being fat (but not overly so anymore) I'm also disorganized, I talk too much and prone to being late. There are things I am good at also; I love deeply and make every effort to do right by folks, and most importantly by God. And I agree with what was said so many years ago now by Socrates (and it echos much that is found in the Bible) that goes something like "an unexamined life is not worth living". I don't think that it means one would rather die, but without examining oneself you don't really know if your living out what you intended or not.0 -
I dont see any use in stigmatizing the word. Fat is a descriptor, Yes, I am fat. I am also tall. Granted, I may blame part of this on years of my mom projecting her own body issues on me and my brother, (The fat part, she never ridiculed me for being tall.)
I've had kids ask me why I am so fat, and their parents look horrified and immediately start apologizing and telling them not to be rude and I will just tell them "I made poor choices in how I ate." Not going to sugar coat it. The kid isn't rude, they're observant and curious. I dont see a need to punish that.0 -
I call/have called myself fat...why deny it. I've had co-workers tell me, "no...you're not fat."...well, yes....yes I am fat. I may not be morbidly obese...or I may not be as fat as that other guy, but by any measurement (BMI, BF%) I am very overweight. I just recently got under the line of overweight/obese. At my largest, I never considered myself obese...just fat...even though truly, I was obese just not morbidly so.0
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I understand what you mean. My friend and I are loosing weight together. I had the most to loose (and needed to for health reasons), but she wants to slim down some as well. We also have another friend of ours who is thin with a wee belly pooch that appeared after kids and getting older. She calls herself fat all the time and talks about being 5 pounds larger than she wants. And the two of us who are trying to loose more than just five pounds are just
Then I realized that my weight loss and her weight loss are not reflective on the other person and no less valid. Just because she thinks she's fat by her standards doesn't mean she thinks that I am super hardcore obese. Nor does the fact that I've lost almost 50 pounds and have another 40 to go negate her desire to make herself look better for her.
But, to your other point, I call myself fat because I literally am fat. It's not a put down, just reality.
Yup.0 -
I understand what you mean. My friend and I are loosing weight together. I had the most to loose (and needed to for health reasons), but she wants to slim down some as well. We also have another friend of ours who is thin with a wee belly pooch that appeared after kids and getting older. She calls herself fat all the time and talks about being 5 pounds larger than she wants. And the two of us who are trying to loose more than just five pounds are just
Then I realized that my weight loss and her weight loss are not reflective on the other person and no less valid. Just because she thinks she's fat by her standards doesn't mean she thinks that I am super hardcore obese. Nor does the fact that I've lost almost 50 pounds and have another 40 to go negate her desire to make herself look better for her.
But, to your other point, I call myself fat because I literally am fat. It's not a put down, just reality.
ETA- but I should note that I refused to call myself fat when I was 240. I thought that saying it was an admission of failure. Which wasn't or isn't true. I had to grow into the title before I could do something about it. I feel better about myself at this size than I did when I was two sizes smaller in High School.
I enjoyed this post.
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When I didn't face it, I kept gaining weight. Waking up one day and saying "yes, I'm fat" is what gave me the push to change things. I don't suffer from low self esteem, but I am a realist. Am I fat? YES and that's obvious. Am I beautiful, too? Yes, in my way. I would rather face what I am then avoid certain words because it's "not nice". I am what I am, I let myself get to this point, therefore I'm going to face it, accept it, and move on.
Avoiding and hiding from certain words or phrases only pushes a thought, emotion, concept, etc., to the back of your mind where you can't appropriately deal with it. To grow, you have to look at things realistically.0 -
The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.
You're absolutely right. How dare someone have the audacity to feel insecure around you. It is so rude that she isn't censoring her own feelings at the risk of hurting your feelings because yours are obviously more important.
What on earth about this says my feelings are more important? I, like any person, am riddled with insecurity but there is such a thing as sensitivity. If a friend says they failed a test i wouldn't complain if I got an A-, even if I am devastated that it wasn't an A. My friend, though she is a good person, used me to make herself feel better about her insecurity constantly. She objectively knew how much thinner she was but nonetheless complained about it in front of me to make herself feel better. She wasn't trying to hurt me, my feelings are not more important and I wasn't hurt by it, only frustrated. And all I told her in return is that she is thin- thus supporting her and trying to alleviate the insecurity some what. Your response to this was shocking to me and I will be removing myself from this otherwise very friendly thread of valid opinions because I do not want to read another snide response from you, and whatever you reply (if you do) just know I will not read it. The valid discussion about calling oneself "fat" and what that means we must think of others if we say it about ourselves was very interesting and many of you shared respectful views- of yourselves and each other. To you guys, I say thanks! Carry on with this interesting thread without rudeness and unnecessary sarcasm.
You found my post rude, I found your post rude. If you can't handle someone disagreeing with you and/or engaging in debate, you won't last on public message boards very long.
You asked a question in your post but then said you weren't coming back. In case you do, I'm answering your question:
What came across as you feel your feelings are more important is that you think that because your "problem is worse" (as in, you have more to lose) that your friend shouldn't be allowed to talk about her "problem."0 -
Even though you say you wont read this she kind of has a point. I only have 10 lbs to lose. I am struggling to lose it. I have friends who have more to lose but because they are good friends they still let me complain. That's what good friends do. You snapped at her for sharing her feeling with you. That was a little unkind of you to invalidate her feelings about her body and her need to lose weight.The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.
You're absolutely right. How dare someone have the audacity to feel insecure around you. It is so rude that she isn't censoring her own feelings at the risk of hurting your feelings because yours are obviously more important.
What on earth about this says my feelings are more important? I, like any person, am riddled with insecurity but there is such a thing as sensitivity. If a friend says they failed a test i wouldn't complain if I got an A-, even if I am devastated that it wasn't an A. My friend, though she is a good person, used me to make herself feel better about her insecurity constantly. She objectively knew how much thinner she was but nonetheless complained about it in front of me to make herself feel better. She wasn't trying to hurt me, my feelings are not more important and I wasn't hurt by it, only frustrated. And all I told her in return is that she is thin- thus supporting her and trying to alleviate the insecurity some what. Your response to this was shocking to me and I will be removing myself from this otherwise very friendly thread of valid opinions because I do not want to read another snide response from you, and whatever you reply (if you do) just know I will not read it. The valid discussion about calling oneself "fat" and what that means we must think of others if we say it about ourselves was very interesting and many of you shared respectful views- of yourselves and each other. To you guys, I say thanks! Carry on with this interesting thread without rudeness and unnecessary sarcasm.0 -
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I've had co-workers tell me, "no...you're not fat."
This always used to make me laugh. Letsee! I'm 70-80 pounds overweight, buying clothes in the plus sized departments in sizes that start with 2, and dangerously close to needing a seatbelt extender on my last flight? I'm not sure why you're telling me I'm not fat like the words will suddenly make my BMI drop 10 points, but thanks! :laugh:
50 pounds later the same people are saying "oh, wow- you really got thin!!" :bigsmile:0 -
When I didn't face it, I kept gaining weight. Waking up one day and saying "yes, I'm fat" is what gave me the push to change things. I don't suffer from low self esteem, but I am a realist. Am I fat? YES and that's obvious. Am I beautiful, too? Yes, in my way. I would rather face what I am then avoid certain words because it's "not nice". I am what I am, I let myself get to this point, therefore I'm going to face it, accept it, and move on.
Avoiding and hiding from certain words or phrases only pushes a thought, emotion, concept, etc., to the back of your mind where you can't appropriately deal with it. To grow, you have to look at things realistically.
My post said nothing about not facing the truth. Like I said in my original post, its important to recognize room for change and improvement. When I started this journey I was 324 pounds and I looked in the mirror and called myself fat everyday. And I didn't do it because I was trying to "describe" myself. I was doing it because I hated myself. I know I'm not THE ONLY woman in the world that has used the term fat towards myself in a hateful way. If you don't, thats AWESOME. But like I also said, the point of the post remains the same. If you don't know what it feels like to hate yourself, you have been very fortunate. But if you have never ONCE spoken badly about yourself in your life, you are part of a VERY select group.
I've lost 64 pounds and I have a long way to go. That didn't come from me being in denial about my health. That came from me recognizing my health issues, fixing my self esteem, and my STRENGTH. Calling myself fat everyday had no part (and will have no part) in my success.0 -
The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.
You're absolutely right. How dare someone have the audacity to feel insecure around you. It is so rude that she isn't censoring her own feelings at the risk of hurting your feelings because yours are obviously more important.
What on earth about this says my feelings are more important? I, like any person, am riddled with insecurity but there is such a thing as sensitivity. If a friend says they failed a test i wouldn't complain if I got an A-, even if I am devastated that it wasn't an A. My friend, though she is a good person, used me to make herself feel better about her insecurity constantly. She objectively knew how much thinner she was but nonetheless complained about it in front of me to make herself feel better. She wasn't trying to hurt me, my feelings are not more important and I wasn't hurt by it, only frustrated. And all I told her in return is that she is thin- thus supporting her and trying to alleviate the insecurity some what. Your response to this was shocking to me and I will be removing myself from this otherwise very friendly thread of valid opinions because I do not want to read another snide response from you, and whatever you reply (if you do) just know I will not read it. The valid discussion about calling oneself "fat" and what that means we must think of others if we say it about ourselves was very interesting and many of you shared respectful views- of yourselves and each other. To you guys, I say thanks! Carry on with this interesting thread without rudeness and unnecessary sarcasm.
You found my post rude, I found your post rude. If you can't handle someone disagreeing with you and/or engaging in debate, you won't last on public message boards very long.
You asked a question in your post but then said you weren't coming back. In case you do, I'm answering your question:
What came across as you feel your feelings are more important is that you think that because your "problem is worse" (as in, you have more to lose) that your friend shouldn't be allowed to talk about her "problem."
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When I didn't face it, I kept gaining weight. Waking up one day and saying "yes, I'm fat" is what gave me the push to change things. I don't suffer from low self esteem, but I am a realist. Am I fat? YES and that's obvious. Am I beautiful, too? Yes, in my way. I would rather face what I am then avoid certain words because it's "not nice". I am what I am, I let myself get to this point, therefore I'm going to face it, accept it, and move on.
Avoiding and hiding from certain words or phrases only pushes a thought, emotion, concept, etc., to the back of your mind where you can't appropriately deal with it. To grow, you have to look at things realistically.
My post said nothing about not facing the truth. Like I said in my original post, its important to recognize room for change and improvement. When I started this journey I was 324 pounds and I looked in the mirror and called myself fat everyday. And I didn't do it because I was trying to "describe" myself. I was doing it because I hated myself. I know I'm not THE ONLY woman in the world that has used the term fat towards myself in a hateful way. If you don't, thats AWESOME. But like I also said, the point of the post remains the same. If you don't know what it feels like to hate yourself, you have been very fortunate. But if you have never ONCE spoken badly about yourself in your life, you are part of a VERY select group.
I've lost 64 pounds and I have a long way to go. That didn't come from me being in denial about my health. That came from me recognizing my health issues, fixing my self esteem, and my STRENGTH. Calling myself fat everyday had no part (and will have no part) in my success.
Also, this has nothing to do with anyone else and how they view me. I wouldn't expect anyone else to look at me and not see me as fat. I've called fat before. Kids ask me why I'm fat all the time. What PEOPLE say to me has no effect on me. What I say to myself does. So I try my hardest every day to keep negative comments out and positive comments coming in. THAT is the meaning of this post. I'm going to go ahead and assume that EVERY person in this message board could learn to do a little more of that, regardless of whether or not they think calling themselves fat is bad or not.0 -
Love this! :flowerforyou:I am a culprit of calling myself fat - I use it as an adjective....however....I have a new saying "I am NOT fat, I HAVE fat....there is a difference" - and I am working everyday to get rid of the fat0 -
I call myself fat. I don't call other people fat because I can't really know where they are in their lives, and "fat" is a word surrounded with so much venom for some people.
When I call myself fat, it's me saying, "I am fat. I'm working on it. Way to take charge of your health, Jenny."
As for the whole "I hate it when people thinner than me call themselves fat" bull- just stop it. You're showing more of your insecurity and negativity than that thinner person who is probably also dealing with some negative feelings.
I'm currently 313 pounds, and I'm here to say that fat people don't have exclusive rights to body image issues.0 -
I'm currently 313 pounds, and I'm here to say that fat people don't have exclusive rights to body image issues.
I agree. Like I said, I've never met a person that hasn't said anything negative about themselves. Whether you're 100 pounds or 300 pounds. We all say things (or have said things) to ourselves that are hurtful. We ALL do it. The point of this was to challenge you not to. If its not about being fat its about something else. Everyone has their own issues.0 -
For me,
I've been called "fat" by many people. Yes, it was negative when they said it - how did it make me feel? Obviously, not good. Why did they call me fat? I mean, they could have kept it to themselves. Well, because I am considered fat. THAT, is part of my every day motivation. I don't want to be the fat girl...I don't want others calling me fat, etc.
Yes, I am beautiful. <
saying that doesn't motivate me as much as saying "I am fat."
Fat motivates.
To each his/her own. Everyone's journey is different. 0 -
I am fat. Reality.
I will not always be fat. Also reality.0 -
I prefer to think of myself as "obeast."0
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I'm currently 313 pounds, and I'm here to say that fat people don't have exclusive rights to body image issues.
I agree. Like I said, I've never met a person that hasn't said anything negative about themselves. Whether you're 100 pounds or 300 pounds. We all say things (or have said things) to ourselves that are hurtful. We ALL do it. The point of this was to challenge you not to. If its not about being fat its about something else. Everyone has their own issues.
That was directed less at your original post and more at some of the other posters' feelings towards thinner people daring to have self-image issues.0 -
Fat is just an adjective. Like tall, or short, or thin or blue or smooth. We (individually and in society) choose whether or not to give it a negative connotation. And clearly, we have done so.
When we are raised to believe that fat equals lazy/worthless/unmotivated//unloveable...that's when the shame/embarassment/fear sets in.
I'm fat. But I'm also beautiful and smart and funny and worthy of being loved just as I am.
:flowerforyou:
This. I am fat. I have over 100 pounds left to lose. I'm sorry if it offends you, but at 277 pounds fat IS a description of myself. It doesn't change who I am as a person.
What word do you think I should use to describe myself? I may have a larger frame, but the extra 100 pounds isn't a result of my being "big-boned." I've never quite understood people who describe themselves as "fluffy." Overweight isn't sufficient to describe how much weight I have to lose. I suppose I could refer to myself as obese, but honestly, I just prefer to say fat.
^^^ agreed when I was over 200 lbs I called my self fat... It was exactly that I was FAT... I had so much extra fat it needed to be gone. I dont know that I could call my self anything else other than MORBIDLY OBESE maybe, that is a way to describe my self I guess.. but its just easier to say FAT... . I know I should think better of my self maybe but I dont sugar coat it fat on me is just that fat...
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I am fat. Reality.
I will not always be fat. Also reality.
ha ha awesome way to put it ..... well done :happy:0 -
I prefer to think of myself as "obeast."
ha ha I should use that some time.. 0 -
Fat is a description.
I'm am a woman with brown hair, brown eyes, and I'm fat. I'm also pretty, fun, intelligent, but I'm still in a fat body. They aren't mutually exclusive.
When we stop using fat like a dirty word which implies so many more negative things like lazy/dirty/bad/unworthy of love then people will stop using it as an insult. Fat is just a way of existing in your body.
Fat has become a short hand for people who really are saying they feel like they are lazy/didn't work hard enough/feel bad/shameful/ or a litany of other negative things, because saying that you "feel fat" is much easier than trying to really quantify a lot of negative thoughts and emotions. It's part of our culture and our shared language.
"Fat" isn't a bad word. People just use it in that context which only makes it harder for the people who do exist in a fat state to not feel like they are the most vile thing on the planet.0 -
I am phat. Does that count?0
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I have called myself fat and now refer to myself as "chunky".
I also have a difficult time accepting a compliment. I am working on that, and just graciously saying "thank you" .0 -
I am phat. Does that count?
hahhaha Nope! That doesn't count! Call yourself PHAT all you want babe! :drinker:0 -
It is very difficult to have good intentions on this site. But that won't ruin my experience. I'll go continue to live my life "in denial" and continue my journey to lose 150 pounds. Only 86 more to go!
Next time, try pulling the message out of a motivating post. Not everything situation is going to always relate to you literally. That doesn't mean there isn't anything to learn from it. Try looking deeper into the meaning.
If none of it applies, thats fine too. This is the internet. Take what you need and leave the rest behind.
Have a great day!! Enjoy! :drinker:0
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