Do you measure up?

Timshel_

Inadequacy is a huge issue for people. It can be direct or indirect. Known and some times unknown or subconcious.

You can watch porn or even TV and feel like you lack skills or physical attriubutes.
You can be on a fitness forum and wonder how all these other people are in such great shape.
You can listen to a speaker and wonder why you can't speak so elloguent.

So what is your deficiency and how are you working on it?




Oddly for me it is public speaking. I teach and do presentations for groups and classes all the time, but I always wonder why others can be so much more comfortable when I watch them do it.

Linli_Anne

I have a hard time going with the flow. I get uncomfortable if there isn't some kind of plan in place....I'm trying to have at least one day/evening a week where everything isn't pre-meditated. . . it's uncomfortable for me.

Timshel_

I have a hard time going with the flow. I get uncomfortable if there isn't some kind of plan in place....I'm trying to have at least one day/evening a week where everything isn't pre-meditated. . . it's uncomfortable for me.

You ever read Who Moved My Cheese? Short story book that deals with that.

Cheers.

triciab79

I have a hard time going with the flow. I get uncomfortable if there isn't some kind of plan in place....I'm trying to have at least one day/evening a week where everything isn't pre-meditated. . . it's uncomfortable for me.

You ever read Who Moved My Cheese? Short story book that deals with that.

Cheers.

Love Who Moved My Cheese. I made one of my teenagers read it too when he became too whiny.

triciab79

I hate being pulled in multiple directions. Some people seem to thrive in that environment but not me. I have to focus, solve one problem, and move to the next. I wish I could be more like them.

Timshel_

Love Who Moved My Cheese. I made one of my teenagers read it too when he became too whiny.

I had all my employees read it at one point when we were going through some changes.

Another great one, kinda on and off topic is How Will You Measure Your Life
http://www.measureyourlife.com/

bcattoes

I am uncoordinated. I've been working out and doing different activities for years so you think I'd have developed some basic coordination. But nope. I can't even run on a treadmill without falling off the side. And if you ever need a good laugh, watch me try to do yoga. :grumble:

triciab79

That one looks interesting. Have you read The Seven habits of highly effective people? That is probably my favorite. Begin with the end in mind - so simple but it really changed my perspective.

triciab79

I am uncoordinated. I've been working out and doing different activities for years so you think I'd have developed some basic coordination. But nope. I can't even run on a treadmill without falling off the side. And if you ever need a good laugh, watch me try to do yoga. :grumble:

OMG this is me too! I can't dance... I can barely clap to the beat.

Timshel_

I am uncoordinated. I've been working out and doing different activities for years so you think I'd have developed some basic coordination. But nope. I can't even run on a treadmill without falling off the side. And if you ever need a good laugh, watch me try to do yoga. :grumble:

Well cheers for not accidently killing yourself yet! That is a positive!

Timshel_

That one looks interesting. Have you read The Seven habits of highly effective people?

We have had training on that through the college I work for years. I like that too. All of it is honing and improving your mental image and being optomistic.

whierd

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

whierd

I am uncoordinated. I've been working out and doing different activities for years so you think I'd have developed some basic coordination. But nope. I can't even run on a treadmill without falling off the side. And if you ever need a good laugh, watch me try to do yoga. :grumble:

OMG this is me too! I can't dance... I can barely clap to the beat.

Ugh, same with me.

triciab79

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

I have chit chatted with you and you were witty and entertaining so I call bull here!!

whierd

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

I have chit chatted with you and you were witty and entertaining so I call bull here!!

Online it is easier because there is no pressure to respond right away and gives me time to think about my response. In a talking conversation, it is a lot harder because I am focused on what the other person is saying and when they finish I am usually unprepared to say anything and the sudden pressure makes me a deer in the headlights. :P

It is something that has gotten better over the years but still needs a lot of improvement.

milf_n_cookies

I have a hair trigger temper, and have been known to throw a punch when it comes to defending a friend/lover/family member (mess with me and I will laugh it off or give you a verbal beat down, but mess with someone I love and I will hit first and ask questions later). It sometimes takes people by surprise b/c I don't "look" like the type to just fly off the handle, but its happend more then I would like. I have been trying to control it, but it's hard when its just a gut reaction to a situation.

Oh and BTW I am a public speaker, one of those people who is completely comfortable in front of a room of people, and I honestly think it's something you are just born with. I think anyone can learn to address a crowd and eventually get "comfortable", but for me it's just always kind of felt like "home", and I wouldn't even know how to explain that to someone else or teach them how to do it.

triciab79

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

I have chit chatted with you and you were witty and entertaining so I call bull here!!

Online it is easier because there is no pressure to respond right away and gives me time to think about my response. In a talking conversation, it is a lot harder because I am focused on what the other person is saying and when they finish I am usually unprepared to say anything and the sudden pressure makes me a deer in the headlights. :P

It is something that has gotten better over the years but still needs a lot of improvement.

Well it might be easier if you stop staring at the girl's "headlights" :-P

Cp731

whierd

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

I have chit chatted with you and you were witty and entertaining so I call bull here!!

Online it is easier because there is no pressure to respond right away and gives me time to think about my response. In a talking conversation, it is a lot harder because I am focused on what the other person is saying and when they finish I am usually unprepared to say anything and the sudden pressure makes me a deer in the headlights. :P

It is something that has gotten better over the years but still needs a lot of improvement.

Well it might be easier if you stop staring at the girl's "headlights" :-P

I will have you know I maintain eye contact when people talk to me. :P

It makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. I find it hilarious.

disdatdude

Being too honest and saying what's on my mind.

Timshel_

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

Ya certainly ain't alone in either of those areas pard. What sucks is, we let ourselves go for so long, when we get the gumption to get back in shape we are older and it is harder. Just keep doing what you can and it'll get there.

And I am totally with you on the small talk. In certain circles I am good, but othe times...I just get that awkward silence and don't know what to do.

Cheers.

Timshel_

I have been trying to control it, but it's hard when its just a gut reaction to a situation.

I think it is similar to me and having patience. I used to get frustrated with people quicly, which is not good when dealing with faculty or students all the time. Taken a lot of years to really listen to what is going on in my head and body to figure out the triggers.

2credneck208

getting old :sad:

triciab79

My body is what I feel are one of my inadequacies. I let myself go for a long time and feel a lot of shame in it, because it is something I can control but failed at.

Another is my conversational skills. I have a hard time picking up social cues sometimes and am awfuk at small talk. If it is something I know a lot about I am fine because I tend to be an over explainer, but with general chit chat I fall short and prefer to listen, leaving some awkward silences when I am suddenly expected to say something and freeze up.

I have chit chatted with you and you were witty and entertaining so I call bull here!!

Online it is easier because there is no pressure to respond right away and gives me time to think about my response. In a talking conversation, it is a lot harder because I am focused on what the other person is saying and when they finish I am usually unprepared to say anything and the sudden pressure makes me a deer in the headlights. :P

It is something that has gotten better over the years but still needs a lot of improvement.

Well it might be easier if you stop staring at the girl's "headlights" :-P

I will have you know I maintain eye contact when people talk to me. :P

It makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. I find it hilarious.

Erienneb

Social situations can send me into a tailspin panic.

I can't approach strangers, I dislike crowds, I don't like new places. My boyfriend on the other hand is such a HUGE people person and I wish I could be like that.

Timshel_

And I am totally with you on the small talk. In certain circles I am good, but othe times...I just get that awkward silence and don't know what to do.

Cheers.

And to that...here is a cover pic I made that I use on FB sometimes lol

davidpearly

Forums and online are a bit different, but I have a terrible time talking to people I do not know especially the opposite sex. May that's why I am single lol. I just get all choked up and lose all train of thought and can not think of anything to say.

cazzer69

Well I could do with a bigger willy. But then I'm a bloke, so even if I was tripping over it I would probably think the same thing.

LynnieG85

Well, I have my first ever job as a Registered Nurse starting on Monday ... so yeah, the inadequate feelings are flowing like adrenaline right now!!! :noway:

To fix it ... I guess I'll just have to make sure I don't kill anyone hehe

Timshel_

No worries man. The average Willie is around 5. See!

whierd

Well I could do with a bigger willy. But then I'm a bloke, so even if I was tripping over it I would probably think the same thing.

:drinker:

The way I see it, you can't change it so just do a good job with what you have!:laugh: