What did the volcano say to the other volcano?
justgowithit17
Posts: 1,392 Member
in Chit-Chat
I lava you 
your turn. share your cheesiest joke.
your turn. share your cheesiest joke.
0
Replies
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What did the baby corn say to the momma corn?
Where's popcorn?0 -
I figured the volcano would have said "you're hot"
What did the mother buffalo tell her son when he got on the bus for his first day of school?
"Bye son!" //bison0 -
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Call him "Cigarette", because every night you take him out for a drag.0 -
What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Call him "Cigarette", because every night you take him out for a drag.
Sparky0 -
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. :blushing:0
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knock knock. whos there!! dwain! dwain who! dwain the bathtub im dwrouning!!! lol -- person from looney tones if u didnt know0
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A giant ground sloth was robbed by a band of rogue snails. When the police asked the sloth to describe his attackers, he replied slowly "I... don't... know... It... happened... so... fast..."0
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A giant ground sloth was robbed by a band of rogue snails. When the police asked the sloth to describe his attackers, he replied slowly "I... don't... know... It... happened... so... fast..."
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I think you all could get a career in writing jokes for companies that make christmas bon-bons!
Nothin' like a really bad joke!0 -
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.0 -
What is the difference between a train and a teacher?
The train says "Choo Choo!"
The teacher says "Spit out that gum!"0 -
Three muffins were baking in the oven. The first one said, "Wow it's hot in here." The second one one said, "holy crap, a talking muffin."0
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What did one casket say to the other casket?
.
.
.
Is that you, coffin?0 -
Two goldfish are sitting in a tank. The one turns to the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive!" 0
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What did the grape say when someone squished him?
Nothing, he just let out a little wine.0 -
What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific?
Nothing, it just waved.0 -
How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
Poke her face! (poker face)0 -
One day a first mate noticed that before every battle his captain would ask him to fetch him his red shirt, and decided to ask why. So he says to the captain, "Sir, why is it you always wear a red shirt into battle?"
To which the captain replied, "Why, it is in case I get wounded in battle. Then my men won't see me bleeding and their moral will stay up."
The next battle came and the captain again asked the first mate to fetch the red shirt, and the first mate did so beaming with pride at his captain's brilliance.
However a week later the ship came face to face with an entire fleet. The captain wiped his brow, and turned to the first mate and said, "First mate! Bring me my brown pants!"
xD0 -
What did the guy say when his girlfriend dumped him at the Mexican restaurant?
(him:) Can't we TACO 'bout it?
(her:) No, I'm NACHO girl anymore!0 -
my nerdy high school science teacher told me this one:
so a guy lost his eye when he was an active duty marine. when he returned to the US he had to purchase a new eye and couldn't afford the more realistic glass eye so he opted for the cheaper option- a wooden eye. He was a little self conscious about it and his friends eventually drug him to a club so he could meet some women. He felt like all the women would notice his eye so he decided to talk to a girl who also had flaws. He found a woman sitting at the bar and she had a large nose so he thought they were more on the same page. He goes over to her and asks her if she'd like to dance. She replies: "Oh, would I!" and stands up to dance with him. He gasps, covers his eye and shouts "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!"0 -
One day a first mate noticed that before every battle his captain would ask him to fetch him his red shirt, and decided to ask why. So he says to the captain, "Sir, why is it you always wear a red shirt into battle?"
To which the captain replied, "Why, it is in case I get wounded in battle. Then my men won't see me bleeding and their moral will stay up."
The next battle came and the captain again asked the first mate to fetch the red shirt, and the first mate did so beaming with pride at his captain's brilliance.
However a week later the ship came face to face with an entire fleet. The captain wiped his brow, and turned to the first mate and said, "First mate! Bring me my brown pants!"
xD
Now, that's some funny *kitten*.0 -
My cousin was an incredibly tough man. He was a karate black belt who eventually joined the army. Sadly the first time he saluted he killed himself.0
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A guy had lived his entire life with a limp. His best friend kept trying to persuade him to go to the doctor, but being stubborn he argued against it. Finally he relented and was surprised that his limp was easily corrected by wearing some orthopedic shoes.
When his friend noticed, and said, "Why didn't you listen to me all these years?"
"Well", he said, "I stand corrected!"0 -
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he ain't coming no matter what you call him.0 -
Why did the orange go to doctor?
He wasn't peeling well.
*******
What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
It wooden go.
PLEASE NOTE: I have a whole ARRAY of "the man with no arms and no legs" jokes.0 -
my nerdy high school science teacher told me this one:
so a guy lost his eye when he was an active duty marine. when he returned to the US he had to purchase a new eye and couldn't afford the more realistic glass eye so he opted for the cheaper option- a wooden eye. He was a little self conscious about it and his friends eventually drug him to a club so he could meet some women. He felt like all the women would notice his eye so he decided to talk to a girl who also had flaws. He found a woman sitting at the bar and she had a large nose so he thought they were more on the same page. He goes over to her and asks her if she'd like to dance. She replies: "Oh, would I!" and stands up to dance with him. He gasps, covers his eye and shouts "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!"
The version I heard had the woman as a hair lip. LOL0 -
bump0
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Tom was so shy he’d never had the courage to ask a girl out so his mate Jack decided to take him out on the town and get him laid. Halfway through the evening they were drinking in a nightclub when a girl at the other end of the bar winked at Tom.
“Hey, Jack,” he stuttered, “that girl over there winked at me.
What shall I do?”
“Wink back,” said Jack.
A little later she smiled at him.
“Hey, Jack, she’s smiling at me now.”
“Well, smile back,” said Jack.
A moment later he turned to his mate again and gasped,
“Jack, Jack, she’s just leant forward and shown me her BOOBS. What should I do?”
“Show her your nuts,” said Jack who was busy chatting up someone else.
So Tom turned to face the girl, crossed his eyes, put one finger in his ear, one finger up his nose and started screeching, KOO-KOO-KOO-KOO.....0 -
Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: Ness0 -
Volcano jokes magma so happy. :-) Think I'll bring a chem joke to the table -
Some helium floats into a bar. "We don't serve your kind here," shouts the barman. The helium doesn't react.0
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