What did the volcano say to the other volcano?

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justgowithit17
justgowithit17 Posts: 1,392 Member
in Chit-Chat
I lava you :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

your turn. share your cheesiest joke.
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Replies

  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    What did the baby corn say to the momma corn?

    Where's popcorn?
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    I figured the volcano would have said "you're hot ;)"

    What did the mother buffalo tell her son when he got on the bus for his first day of school?

    "Bye son!" //bison
  • zrmac804
    zrmac804 Posts: 369 Member
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    Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

    A: Call him "Cigarette", because every night you take him out for a drag.
  • T1mH
    T1mH Posts: 568 Member
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    Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

    A: Call him "Cigarette", because every night you take him out for a drag.
    What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?


    Sparky
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. :blushing:
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    knock knock. whos there!! dwain! dwain who! dwain the bathtub im dwrouning!!! lol -- person from looney tones if u didnt know
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,162 Member
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    A giant ground sloth was robbed by a band of rogue snails. When the police asked the sloth to describe his attackers, he replied slowly "I... don't... know... It... happened... so... fast..."
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    A giant ground sloth was robbed by a band of rogue snails. When the police asked the sloth to describe his attackers, he replied slowly "I... don't... know... It... happened... so... fast..."


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
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    I think you all could get a career in writing jokes for companies that make christmas bon-bons!
    Nothin' like a really bad joke!
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
    Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    What is the difference between a train and a teacher?

    The train says "Choo Choo!"
    The teacher says "Spit out that gum!"
  • michaela4910
    michaela4910 Posts: 543 Member
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    Three muffins were baking in the oven. The first one said, "Wow it's hot in here." The second one one said, "holy crap, a talking muffin."
  • emacb123
    emacb123 Posts: 254 Member
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    What did one casket say to the other casket?
    .
    .
    .
    Is that you, coffin?
  • jessgumkowski88
    jessgumkowski88 Posts: 189 Member
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    Two goldfish are sitting in a tank. The one turns to the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive!"

    :wink:
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    What did the grape say when someone squished him?

    Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific?

    Nothing, it just waved.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    How do you make Lady Gaga mad?

    Poke her face! (poker face)
  • jessgumkowski88
    jessgumkowski88 Posts: 189 Member
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    One day a first mate noticed that before every battle his captain would ask him to fetch him his red shirt, and decided to ask why. So he says to the captain, "Sir, why is it you always wear a red shirt into battle?"

    To which the captain replied, "Why, it is in case I get wounded in battle. Then my men won't see me bleeding and their moral will stay up."

    The next battle came and the captain again asked the first mate to fetch the red shirt, and the first mate did so beaming with pride at his captain's brilliance.

    However a week later the ship came face to face with an entire fleet. The captain wiped his brow, and turned to the first mate and said, "First mate! Bring me my brown pants!"

    xD
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    What did the guy say when his girlfriend dumped him at the Mexican restaurant?

    (him:) Can't we TACO 'bout it?
    (her:) No, I'm NACHO girl anymore!
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    my nerdy high school science teacher told me this one:

    so a guy lost his eye when he was an active duty marine. when he returned to the US he had to purchase a new eye and couldn't afford the more realistic glass eye so he opted for the cheaper option- a wooden eye. He was a little self conscious about it and his friends eventually drug him to a club so he could meet some women. He felt like all the women would notice his eye so he decided to talk to a girl who also had flaws. He found a woman sitting at the bar and she had a large nose so he thought they were more on the same page. He goes over to her and asks her if she'd like to dance. She replies: "Oh, would I!" and stands up to dance with him. He gasps, covers his eye and shouts "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!"

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