Why are you giving me advice?

wendybird5

I've had something strange happen recently and wondered if anyone else has experienced this. This year so far I've had some people come up to offer me unsolicited advice about my diet. Normally this is generally annoying when it is people who don't even know what I'm eating regularly and when I wasn't even asking them in the first place. But the biggest reason it irked me was that it came from people just starting out on their own weight loss journey.

I enjoy when people share things that worked for them because sometimes something they did is something I decide to try out. And I have no problems asking for advice when I'm struggling. I'm not perfect and know I could still improve my nutrition and fitness routine. But to have someone just barely 20 pounds in come to me specifically to say "You need to eat this." or "You need to do this diet." without me even asking (and why is it always a Dr. Oz diet... *le sigh*) makes me want to scream. I'm only 6 pounds from my goal. I obviously have figured out some things to have gotten this far.

Anyone else running into people like this or am I just lucky?

runningfataway

Listen Smile Agree And Then Do Whatever The **** You Were Gonna Do Anyway - Robert Downey Jr.

kdeaux1959

I understand where you are coming from... Gotta love it when people have all the answers but have not applied it to their own life. I heard it preached one time that a person is far more likely to listen to somebody about how to make money if they are a millionair than if they live in government housing... Walk the walk THEN I'll listen to you talk.

needles85365

Have to agree with runningfatawa. Great job, keep it up as you have been very successful. Just nod your head when someone gives advise and then move on. You are doing the right thing for you!

RunFarLiveHappy

Lol yep happens to me too. After over 100 pounds lost, I too think I might've figured some things out...lol

Sharkington

It doesn't happen to me often, but it does every once in awhile. I will usually listen to what they have to say, but most of the time it is usually some crazy "diet" and I either choose to nod my head, smile, and ignore it, or express my feelings on why I don't agree. (The latter of which I only do if it is a friend or family member). I have no problem with suggestions and trying new foods (i have tried all sorts of great foods thanks to people here on MFP suggesting them), but I tend to avoid the word "diet" like the plague.

jazzy1a

The people who are just starting out on their latest diet journey are often excited about it ("THIS is the ONE that's GONNA WORK!") and so their enthusiasm compels them to share...don't take it personal it so much more about them then it is about you

wendybird5

Listen Smile Agree And Then Do Whatever The **** You Were Gonna Do Anyway - Robert Downey Jr.

:flowerforyou:

celebrity328

It is only from the women at my work and goes something like this, I was watching Dr. Oz today and he said X, Y, Z and you should be doing that instead of this crazy diet you follow. Mind you I eat 90% clean and have been able to lose 90Lbs on my own, I think I got this covered! I smile, say I will look into it and leave it at that There is no magic diet pill that will solve the worlds problems!

skinnyjeanzbound

The people who are just starting out on their latest diet journey are often excited about it ("THIS is the ONE that's GONNA WORK!") and so their enthusiasm compels them to share...don't take it personal it so much more about them then it is about you

^^This. They are probably just excited to be starting out and figure you would be interested in discussing nutrition and fitness since you've obviously been successful. Take it as a compliment that they know you pay attention to what you eat--so many others don't.

pinkraynedropjacki

I got told "you dont need to go to the gym, your skinny enough" ..... nevermind that I'm going there to tone up right? I looked her up and down & then wondered why she's so fat despite her "healthy organic lifestyle". Then it dawned on me that she wants me to stop so I can be like her....... never again.

I walked off swinging my toned *kitten* as I went, while she walked the other way with her organic soy milk & walking stick.

dbrooks82

I dont so much get advice, but criticism. They like to tell me im starving myself, i need to eat more, and my favorite...why are you even bothering?! Why is none of their business, really none of it is lol I eat enough for me and i tell them that 30 lbs in 6 months im pretty sure im doing just fine. Keep doing what works for you! Youre doing fantastic! Try telling them something that works for you, spin it around onto them!

conorpatmanCHANGED

this like did i ask you

ferrytrip

Just lucky

jenilla1

The people who are just starting out on their latest diet journey are often excited about it ("THIS is the ONE that's GONNA WORK!") and so their enthusiasm compels them to share...don't take it personal it so much more about them then it is about you

This always amuses me to no end. I've always been known as one of those healthy, fit types. I'm already where I want to be and I've never been overweight, but it's funny how the same people who have yo-yo'd for decades just always have to push their latest fad on ME. OMG it's like a new magic diet comes along every year or two. Like, "You're in great shape, but you might like to try this and see if you can get even better!" No offense meant, but the number of low carb fans who have pushed low carb at me for years but never stuck to it themselves is amazing. The several I've known are great at losing but just can't keep it off long-term. I've only seen one long-term success with that particular group - and that guy is dedicated! :drinker: Yet these same people won't even try my lifestyle! I never even get asked for advice. Maybe they just think I'm naturally gifted. Oh well - their loss... :laugh:

ETA: Low carb is a valid lifestyle. I just hate it when people try to push it as the only way. :flowerforyou:

Viva_Karina

stellabobella79

Meh...it's probably like born again Christians or first time Moms. (no offense if you are a born again Christian or a first time Mom. I've been both, lol). They are just super gung ho and are probably happy they found a diet friend to talk at.

Just smile and nod.

optimist49

Listen Smile Agree And Then Do Whatever The **** You Were Gonna Do Anyway - Robert Downey Jr.

awesome pic of Robert

Mighty_Rabite

This happens to me once in a while too, if and when it does I just use that Downey approach.

Most common for me though is people will ask what I'm doing.. I'm like, "did P90X first, then kind of just started doing my own thing, but eating better is by far the most important part."

That last part usually gets lost in translation somewhere since it's the most challenging part.

EDIT: And furthermore, so many people who only see me eat, tell me I eat like a bird. Yeah, my food diary would like a word with that opinion!

pg3ibew

F@ck 'em.


It seems strangers that I meet for the first time are extremely interested in how I did it. (Makes me feel good)

It seems FRIENDS feel the need to tell me HOW I should continue. (Makes me wanna vomit on them)

skinnyjeanzbound

F@ck 'em.


It seems strangers that I meet for the first time are extremely interested in how I did it. (Makes me feel good)

It seems FRIENDS feel the need to tell me HOW I should continue. (Makes me wanna vomit on them)

Don't do that, or they'll call you bulimic.

Spokez70

I had to laugh reading this because it happened to me twice right after New Years. One family member and one coworker- both of them know I dropped around 70lbs last year- both of them starting out on their own 'journey'- both of them trying to sell me on their concepts (the family member LITERALLY trying to sell me some detox product she's hocking)- and neither of them asking me anything about what I did to be somewhat successful. So yeah- my reply to both of them was pretty much the Robert Downey Jr. response... although I reallllly wanted to argue with the family member on the detox things she was posting all over Facebook but my wife said not to (and it was her Aunt so I haven't ...yet.) :noway:

wendybird5

The people who are just starting out on their latest diet journey are often excited about it ("THIS is the ONE that's GONNA WORK!") and so their enthusiasm compels them to share...don't take it personal it so much more about them then it is about you

^^This. They are probably just excited to be starting out and figure you would be interested in discussing nutrition and fitness since you've obviously been successful. Take it as a compliment that they know you pay attention to what you eat--so many others don't.

If it was just someone excited to share something that they wanted to try, that would be alright. But it wasn't even a discussion. It was "YOU need to do this..." I understand enthusiasm for a new plan, but to just come up and tell me what I need to do without an invite or even knowing what I was doing already was annoying.

I got told "you dont need to go to the gym, your skinny enough" .....

Yup, I'm starting to get that as well. Or the "Oh, you can eat this (insert not healthy food here) since you workout so much." Yes, I know I can. I just don't want to today.

pg3ibew

F@ck 'em.


It seems strangers that I meet for the first time are extremely interested in how I did it. (Makes me feel good)

It seems FRIENDS feel the need to tell me HOW I should continue. (Makes me wanna vomit on them)

Don't do that, or they'll call you bulimic.

lmao

Mistyfied_MD

Ah, don't let it bother you. You are right, of course, but on the other hand, maybe it's them showing their enthusiasm for losing weight and getting fit and that's their way of getting involved

cmcollins001

I really don't get a whole lot of the advice, I do, however, get a lot of "what/how are you doing?" However, if its not a magic pill, or special magic "diet," and I tell them about counting calories, eating real food, and exercising, then I get the eye roll and the "uh-huh, sure" nod....and then they walk away.

MyChocolateDiet

Seeing you all thin reminds them of dieting so they immediately begin to regurgitate the last weight loss idea they had Dr Oz being a popular show it's that. It's like if I meet a guy who likes say "Castle" and I just immediately start talking about the last episode. They are "telling" you what to do, because that's the modality of our generation. More info needed please. They think the more info they give you on weight loss the more weight you'll lose. They are new at it enough that they haven't figured out that you can't just add bits and pieces of different plans and have success so they think they are adding to your arsenal. When in reality they are insulting you because clearly you know what you're doing you are a walking "exhibit A".

I had a friend who dieted this way just adding more and more restrictions from every new faddy diet until of course she lost weight because she wasn't eating much of anything and had excluded entire food groups.

I think the best approach is the Robert Downey Jr. advice because you gotta just let it roll off you and not take up too much of your time. Like literally interject after the first tip..."thank you that's an awesome tip!" (as though there were only going to be one). look them dead in the eye with a smile and then just walk away. Don't let more info derail your efforts and waste your time, you already know what you're doing.

A friend of mine is constantly telling me what her trainer says. If I want to hear from a trainer I'll hire one myself, not get 2nd hand hearsay intended for a different person and run with that? The minute I hear her going down that road I cut her off because she literally says "you should" and "you have to" and blah blah. That's called "should" -ing on someone, and it feels just as bad as the other kind of sh@#$-ing on someone. It's better to say this is what my trainer told ME to do. But dr oz's recommendations are for EVERYONE, right? RIGHT?

tndejong

the thing that bothers me the most is when people can not believe that to lose weight that its all in exercise and watching what you eat. many thing i have lost weight with a diet plan or pills. very not true! then i have had people like my sister that i feel i have to babysit. she wants to lose weight. she will come with me to the gym. but i have to tell her what to do at the gym and then she will go home and eat a 1000 calorie dinner of taco bell.

and i know your venting. but a lot of people. me included are newbies on here. so if we comment, that is exactly as people are speaking.. excited that they found stuff that has worked. and even though you have lost a lot of weight. doesnt make you or anyone an expert. when we get into losing weight, it is on our minds all the time. its all we talk about and think about. the hard part is you losing and getting to your goal weight and keeping it off.

i do agree about the stupid VI diets and such. i have a friend on facebook into that crap. i love picking on her and questioning everything about it. its like 250 bux for that crap!

ashleydmassey

I've had something strange happen recently and wondered if anyone else has experienced this. This year so far I've had some people come up to offer me unsolicited advice about my diet. Normally this is generally annoying when it is people who don't even know what I'm eating regularly and when I wasn't even asking them in the first place. But the biggest reason it irked me was that it came from people just starting out on their own weight loss journey.

I enjoy when people share things that worked for them because sometimes something they did is something I decide to try out. And I have no problems asking for advice when I'm struggling. I'm not perfect and know I could still improve my nutrition and fitness routine. But to have someone just barely 20 pounds in come to me specifically to say "You need to eat this." or "You need to do this diet." without me even asking (and why is it always a Dr. Oz diet... *le sigh*) makes me want to scream. I'm only 6 pounds from my goal. I obviously have figured out some things to have gotten this far.

Anyone else running into people like this or am I just lucky?

I thought it was just "me" in this situation. Glad to hear it's not. Thanks for the post!

Melanie2345

Yes, I hate it! Its always people who've lost like 2lb!

elisa123gal

I find myself posting advice on here and i've only lost 6 pounds. Two things: i really want to participate...2. i have lost all my weight before and reached goal and did learn some great stuff doing it. I also learned some great stuff about how i gained it back.

so..often i shut down for a while and feel like i can't post until i've lost way more. But, in person I don't advise other people.especially someone like you who obviously has it figured out.:flowerforyou: