Binge Eating... Do you Own up?

kingkoopaluv

i binge when i know im going to be alone, its almost planned, its effed.

Mverdecia1

bump

HotDolphinMama

Binge eating is a huge issue for me. I call it "feeding the beast". I can go along - eat & log my food on a daily basis - make conscious decisions about do I want that cookie (sometimes), etc. , and be okay 90% of the time.
But then - without any forewarning - I will inadvertently feed the beast. I know that it is an emotional thing for me, but in all truthfulness - I am an emotional person! So, I still haven't quite got a handle on what the triggers all.
All I know is I can be eating like normal, logging my calories, etc. And then, after a healthy snack or meal - all of a sudden I am just starving!!! Like - okay - I will eat some carrots & celery because I am wanting to eat. And then, lets see if there are any fibre bars left? And then, well, maybe some peanut butter & crackers will help. Okay, now lets eat a yogurt or frozen pudding pop, etc. And on and on until finally I am disgusted with myself and bursting at the seam and when I log I have ate 1000+ calories in snacks in an 1-2 hour sitting!!!
Obviously I am substituting what I feed the beast - it used to be crackers, chips, ice cream, cookies, etc etc. But I haven't yet figured out how to redirect it or better yet stop it altogether.
Any suggestions?????

anifani4

What a powerful and amazing topic to read. Thank you all for your honesty.


I always hid my binge eating from everyone and tried to deny it even to myself. I hid food wrappers in the bottom of the trash can. Bought things just for binging and hid them from my family. I live alone now so the secret part is not an issue. And I've begun to talk about it with my mfp pals. When I'm with others I don't feel the need to overeat at all. In fact am totally satisfied with the company and modest portions. But the next day...it's a battle all day to "not stuff my face". What exact emotion is in play in this instance I have yet to figure out.


I do it less often now and amounts are much smaller but it is that "out of control" feeling that defines a binge for me.


I've been on MFP since sept 2012 and only recently began to log ALL my food EVERY DAY. That's because I would do awesome all day, close out my diary, and a few hours later "need" to eat even though I was not feeling hungry. For a while I just didn't add it on the next day but now I am because it's happening a bit more often the past month. It's never a huge amount of calories...maybe 500... but it puts me over my goal amount and I haven't gotten any smaller in weeks.



It's definitely an emotional issue. And even though I don't recall ever being super hungry as a child...we always had enough food.. I always wanted MORE sweets and that was limited by my Mom. So it's not actual deprevation but in my child mind it was. My Mom had a rule: take only 2 cookies. I was a "good girl" and obeyed. A couple of years ago I found out that all my 9 siblings disobeyed that rule. They ate all the cookies they wanted and were never punished. Even if Mom caught them she'd just chuckle.


Been in major therapy for depression. Once even in a therapy group for eating disorders. I understand a lot about myself much better from all that but never got a real "click" that led to a permanent change in my eating patterns.

murphy612

I just finished reading David Kessler's book "The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite" it was extremely insightful and I would suggest it to anyone with a binging problem.

I'm reading that book now, it was recommended by my Nutritionist. This is an amazing thread, thank you all so much for sharing! I never considered myself a binge eater, but I've always known I'm a closet eater so I guess that is very similar. I’ve done it since childhood actually. I'm pretty honest about it now and will continue to work through my relationship with food. I’ve almost reached my goal weight with the help of a nutritionist, doctor, and personal trainer so now it’s time to work on my mental health with a therapist to figure out the mental aspects of gaining and losing weight. I’m excited to see how that turns out!!!

I applaud all of you for sharing your stories!!

kdkyzer

Wow...suddenly I don't feel alone.

Yes, I binge eat. For me, it HAS to be something sweet. Lots of it. Lots and lots of it.
I ALWAYS do it alone. I ALWAYS hide any evidence. My hubby has no idea.

Sometimes, I liken myself to an alcoholic. Only for me, it's sugary sweet things rather than alcohol.

I binged once since I've been on MFP (Jan 2013) and I logged it. Trying ever so hard to not do it again. But I think about eating a lot of something sweet many times during the day.

KenosFeoh

I tried to be secretive about it, but the habit was so firmly entrenched that I sometimes found myself wandering around the kitchen having a pinch of this and a bite of that and a serving of this other thing when other people (family) were around.

I've pretty much conquered that behavior. It has taken 4 years.

KenosFeoh

As for how to stop it, for me it was commitment and practice. I decided I was going to stop it! At first it was almost like I blacked out and "came to" spooning ice cream into my face. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I would stop myself, put food away, and go do something else. After awhile (4 years), I got to the point where I would catch myself opening the cabinets or the refrigerator. Then my mind asks me "is it meal time? (I have a schedule.) No? Then get out of the kitchen!" And I get out of the kitchen. It's that simple.

Sometimes I wish that I could just go with it because binge eating worked: it made me focus on that one thing I hated about myself and forget all the other problems in my life that I have no control over. Sometimes it's so hard to look at the real problem and try to solve it but not be able to. I wish I could "black out" again, not that it was ever really blacking out, just kind of abandoning control and mindlessly munching. But most times I am extremely proud of myself. It feels so good to no longer have that inner image of me as an eating machine.

KANGOOJUMPS

for sure,,, if i binge,,, then i go workout for another hour,

lawtechie

bump for later reading. I binge occasionally. Live by myself, so no one to own up to. Maybe nutritionist -- will find out in a few weeks. I DO log it on here though, whereas before I might used to have.

tj1376

I'm curious as to what people consider to be binge eating. How many calories in a day, for instance? I've always thought of binge eating as stuffing down five or ten thousand calories at a sitting (not a secret trip to McDonald's for the #8 and a milkshake) but I'd like to know what it means on MFP. Thanks!

Mine is when I eat an entire bag of potato chips (or 3) and a container of sour cream for breakfast lunch and dinner. I have a hate/love relationship with the grocery store. I hate going in because I know I will buy chips and the store loves me because it knows I will to. I swear they rearranged the aisle just so I would buy more chips now that they are right across from the dairy products.

Nerdinista

Great thread. Bingeing today, actually. I largely keep it secret, but sometimes bring my husband in with me. "Let's order Chinese and make cookie dough, and tomorrow we'll start eating healthy again". This happens all the time.

Katy_G2013

I binge in secret. I don't do it often, but when I do I will find myself 'sneaking' a snack and I absolutely hate it. I always feel horrible after. I hide it from my hubby when I am 'sneaking' but other times I will binge in front of him without really even thinking about it. I haven't had many occurrences though since starting MFP.

northfresh

I definitely binge eat. I always do it alone, in secrecy. I'm ashamed of it, of course; making poor food decisions and the lack of self control. Yet it still happens. And I tell no one. Its always my favorite foods and junk foods: candy, cheese, bread, red meat, snack products.

wormy80

bump

Moxie42

I was just talking to my mom (who's weight and emotional problems are very like my own) and I said how my bingeing gets worse when I am on PMS (now) and she was shocked I said the word out loud. She knows I do it, and I learned it from her, but we've never talked about it, and we pretend it doesn't exist when talking about our "healthy" diets.

She said she does it alone, and she would never talk about it. I will only do it alone too, but I feel like talking about it is the first step to stopping the behaviour. What about you?

If your spouse is around, will you not binge?
Do you hide your food packaging?
Does your spouse know about it?
Do you talk about it? To who? Therapist?

Just Curious

1) If my fiance is around, I will sometimes overeat a LOT but I don't necessarily consider it a binge because it's something I choose to do...bad choice but I'm not shoving food into my mouth uncontrollably.

2) My true binges, yes, I hide the evidence. I used to practically plan binges. On the rare occasion I'd have the house to myself, I'd go for something like an entire pizza only if the outside trash can was empty enough for me to hide the whole box. Otherwise, I'd take the trash out, eat something like a box of Mac & Cheese AND a box of stuffing, rip up the boxes, put some paper towels in the trash, put the pieces of box on top, and then cover it with more paper towels (so the boxes couldn't be seen from any side of the trash bag). Other times, I'd stop by a fast food place...binge in the car...stop by another fast food place...eat more...and then stop at a gas station to throw away the garbage. Sometimes I'd go to the store and buy my binge food so that my fiance wouldn't ask why the entire box of ice cream cones was gone. Or I'd buy TWO pizzas...eat one...cook another one...and eat or throw away half of it...so I could tell my fiance I bought "us" a pizza and he'd assume I had only eaten half of it. It's been a long time since I binged like that. My last several binges were to due to "the drunken munchies" and I finally decided to quit drinking for the month of February because of that, and some other reasons. Binge drinking was something I did too. I wouldn't mean to, but sometimes I'd polish off a whole bottle of wine...so I'd hide that in the trash too...or I'd keep the bottle out with a stopper and just hope against hope that my fiance wouldn't try to pour himself a glass and realize I drank it all.

3) I've never talked to him about it but I know he knows it happens sometimes...he just has no idea how often it has happened, or the extent of them.

4) I very rarely talk about it...only on MFP, and this is the most I have ever talked about it...I've never gotten into the details of how bad it's been and I don't log them. But it's nice to not feel alone, and I hope everyone else going through this feels less alone from reading all these responses too.

I consider a binge anytime I eat uncontrollably. It doesn't matter how many cals. Sometimes I binge on one unhealthy food. Sometimes I binge on anything and everything in sight. Sometimes I even binge on healthy things. The key is control. If I'm not hungry, and I want to stop and know that I should, but keep eating...it's a binge.

Thankfully, I was able to stop other than when alcohol was involved...hence the reason for quitting.

momasox

If your spouse is around, will you not binge? I will not binge when anyone is around.
Do you hide your food packaging? Yes, if I have candy or something I will dispose of it where no one can find it.
Does your spouse know about it? Nope
Do you talk about it? To who? Therapist? I have no one to talk to about it.

I never really thought about these questons before and seeing my answers are a little disturbing to me.

OspreyVista

I don't do it around my fiance specifically because him being there helps me want to keep in check. He also helps me keep on track when he is home, so that helps keep me from doing it. I used to do it a lot out of boredom. I got that under control, and now it's creeped back up on me and the reason for it now would be stress from school (Theres a lot of it!) plus my depression. My depression alone wasn't enough to make it happen, but adding the huge stress I have from school, is making it where I've started binge eating again, so now that's something else to worry about too. I do talk to my fiance about it, and he knows when I do it. I don't see the point in hiding it, as it's just going to make the binging worse if I don't own up to it. Owning up to it, finding the triggers and being determined and aware of what I'm doing helps me correct what I do, and I plan on fixing my binge eating habits now, even if its just a bit at a time. After two and a half weeks, this session will be over with, and my stress will plummet. I only have that amount of time to fix my stress binge eating. Boredom and anger binge eating, checked! Stress binge eating...working on!

rougecrayon

I have not been loggin my binges on MFP... I should though.
Seeing the amount of calories and fat I'm eating is a real kick in the pants...

melinda200208

I binge when I am alone. I will not binge around my husband. Yes, I will overeat but not binge in front of him.
Yes, I have hidden my big empty bags of chips in the garbage, ect. Spouse has a little idea but he doesn't think much about it.

Binging to me is not "going over on your calories for the day" It is eating a whole bag (the big size ) of chips in one sitting or in two nights. But, I can down a big bag in one night. I will also eat a whole box of macaronni and cheese. Sometimes I feel sick afterwards. I notice I am struggling with it more now that my husband is working out of town. I get lonely in the afternoons. I used to purge. I very seldom do that anymore.

If your spouse is around, will you not binge?
Do you hide your food packaging?
Does your spouse know about it?
Do you talk about it? To who? Therapist?

Just Curious
[/quote]