weight loss + insercuirty

beckieboomoo

So basically i always look in a mirror and just feel fat and ugly my boyfriend always tells me how beautiful and sexy i am, but i never believe him. So for anyone who has felt the same then lost weight, does it help? does it make you feel better? since ive started on this site i feel much healthier and every time i do exercise i feel better bout myself but i still feel insecure

Guamybear

I am the opposite but from what I have seen from others...you have to love yourself the way you look NOW.. because no matter how skinny you get you will always find flaws..

I was blessed with a mom who taught to have great self esteem.. (maybe too much at times..LOL) so I could be a big as a horse but will stick love myself...

beckieboomoo

i wish i was like that but i think am blinded to only find flaws, maybe as i get older i will be more wise, i think being a teenage is hard sometime because to some people its all about being pretty/popular and how you should look because of the way famouse people look. i never have been bothered about being popular i am who i am and if people don't like that they know where the door is, i think its the pretty part, that sticks in my head when it shouldn't as i know am a nice person, i always put other people first, all i want to do is help people feel better about their self and have a better life. its better to be lovely and not the prettiest girl in the world rather than the other way round i guess i just can't take my own advice ...

Guamybear

You should never put yourself down and feel inadequate.. Look in the mirror and find something you like and go from there..find another thing.. don't compare yourself to others either..especially famous people..

I am hoping I can raise my girls to have my self esteem.. I never want them to feel like they aren't beautiful..

beckieboomoo

there is only 3 things i like about myself, my eyes, dimples when i smile and my boobs lol

I reckon they will grow up with self esteem as they have you to look up to a strong minded mom who will always love themself for who you are

MinnieInMaine

New rule - you're not allowed to talk to yourself in any way that you wouldn't talk to someone else. Would you tell your best friend that she's not pretty? Not likely... Like any habit, it can take some time and practice to break but you can do it.
And listen to your boyfriend. Guys tend to be very honest - they're not raised to be shady like we females are.

Like the other poster said, if you're not truly happy with yourself, just losing the weight's not going to help you. How about trying some new things and find something that brings you joy and pride and a sense of accomplishment? I know a lot of people get this from exercise but many others get it from doing crafts or taking classes or volunteering or finding a job that really suits them...

AngelaBianco82

I'm the same way. I have days where I feel good and I feel awful. I was telling my friend who I have know for 13 years that I was going to finally lose the weight and how I have been overweight all my life. She looked at me and said "you were skinny when I met you and started gaining weight" I looked at the pictures from that time and couldn't believe how small I was but I always viewed myself overweight....the point is that we view ourselves differently then others. You should look into counseling if that is the way you are feeling all the time. I'm doing the same when i get closer to my goal so I don't go over the edge

Remember your boyfriend loves you for you....

beckieboomoo

Thankyou for commenting

well i do feel a lot better about myself after exercise and i feel better helping people, thats why am going to university so i can become a probation officer so i can help people turn their life around

From now on am going to look in a mirror each morning and not move untill i see a feature that makes me feel god about myself and try to listen to my boyfriend ha

lawandfitness

Hunny you are gorgeous, no need to feel insecure.

I think part of it is the fact you are insecure about your looks which can make you feel non confident. You need to focus on the inside as much as the outside. Not matter what shape or size you are, you will never be satisfied unless you can love yourself fully for who YOU are.... as you said, you don't focus on being popular because you are who you are..... Really think about those words...

I know being a teenager is rough, I was always the fat girl that was considered like being one of the guys because I was so laid back, and worse off they would tell me if I was thinner then I would be perfect girlfriend material.... but what got me through this was my confidence.... confidence not to care what they thought of me, confidence to stand up for myself when someone put me down, confidence to tell myself you are who you are and if someone doesn't like it, then show them the door, confidence to know if those loser guys didn’t like me I could easily find someone who did, because I was hot and no one was going to bring me down… (Sex appeal can help with this as well)

I think if you can work on your inner beauty you will see that it will radiate, and trust me hunny, you are beautiful!

TheRealPDouble

I feel a lot better since I lost my weight (55lbs and counting) I even look in the mirror sometimes and think "damn I look good"... but I still don't know how to accept compliments, nor do I ever expect them. I still feel like the chubby guy I always was and while I have definitely gotten better about it, the feeling is still there. I think it is just one of those things that will take a lot of time and a lot of self encouragement to get used to...

beckieboomoo

I'm the same way. I have days where I feel good and I feel awful. I was telling my friend who I have know for 13 years that I was going to finally lose the weight and how I have been overweight all my life. She looked at me and said "you were skinny when I met you and started gaining weight" I looked at the pictures from that time and couldn't believe how small I was but I always viewed myself overweight....the point is that we view ourselves differently then others. You should look into counseling if that is the way you are feeling all the time. I'm doing the same when i get closer to my goal so I don't go over the edge

Remember your boyfriend loves you for you....

i use to go to counseling a couple years ago as i suffered with really bad depression and counseling meetings helped me but i started to feel better and i started getting messed around with appointments so i just stopped going, i reckon that these insecurity came with my depression but didnt leave

beckieboomoo

i'd just like to say thanks for those who have left a comment, you have all have made me smile, its nice to know am not the only one to go through it and there's a light at end of a tunnel and you have also given me alot of good advice to get through this

Twylashea

When I look at myself in the mirror I make sure that the last thing I focus on is a part of myself I am proud of or that has seen the most change. It's hard not to see the bad I know, but if you walk away with your last thought being a positive one, that's what you'll carry with you. Also, I have found that the more I try to focus on the positives, the easier they are to see. Glass half full vs. half empty.

cubbies77

I remember feeling that way when I was 18. I weighed around 165 pounds, and I was in decent shape, but I was a little "chunky", maybe 10-15 pounds overweight. I thought I was "fat", and my friend (who was 25 at the time) kept saying, "NO! You're curvy! You look gorgeous."

She was right. When I look at old pictures, I see a gorgeous hourglass figure with just a little bit of extra weight (easily covered with proper clothing). I looked amazing, and I can't wait to look like that again.

Please try not to compare yourself to Photoshopped celebrities. Try to remember they have bad hair days, bad makeup days, and days where they feel like they're too heavy too. They also have chefs, personal trainers, etc. Also, I don't envy them because their weight is a constant news item. Could you imagine gaining three pounds and having the tabloids shrieking about it and then losing five pounds and having them call you anorexic? Ugh. No thanks.

Focus on all of the things you love about yourself and then try to improve the things you don't. Don't insult yourself.

I think you are lovely. You have a very pretty smile and gorgeous hair, and your face has a nice shape. You don't have any full-length pictures, but I'm sure I and the others could find nice things to say if you posted some. (That isn't meant to sound creepy, I promise.)

beckieboomoo

Thank you very much proper made my day. I've been in bed all day ill and now sat on bus to my grandparents. Proper made my day and im going out for my brothers 21st next Friday and have a nice dress so gonna put a full lenght picture up then

DannielleMM

You have to love yourself for who you are, you will always be you no matter how skinny or heavy. Find the inner beauty in yourself and you will find peace. Of course feeling comfortable in your weight helps but ultimately weight and beauty play a minimal role in yourself worth. Good luck on your journey and be well

lisavirani

I was/am in a similar situation. At my heaviest, I hated to look at myself. I couldn't believe I had let myself get as big as I had. When I began to lose weight, people were commenting and complimenting me. I thanked them for the compliments but thought they were just trying to be nice. I am still very critical of myself, and insecure, and pick out my flaws, even though I have lost 47 pounds, and am way into the "healthy BMI" range. I am hoping my mind will catch up to my body soon. But when you have spent years looking in the mirror and seeing the fat girl, it takes a while to realize that's not you anymore. I agree with everyone who's posted before me, you HAVE to learn to love yourself, and stop putting yourself down... but it's easier said than done. You will get there though, just like I am slowly getting there. There are times when I look in the mirror now and say "wow, I look good" or even "i look HOT!" which is a big step forward from where I was. So, you can do it. Just love you for you, and if there is a goal you want to get to physically, try your hardest to get there. And take the compliments along the way... people would not say good things if they didn't mean it--they would just say nothing at all.

Good luck. you're beautiful!

BrittKnee_Rae

I'm sort of opposite! I had more confidence when I was heavier.. Now like you I'm more focused on my flaws, I think my mind hasn't adjusted to the fact that I'm no longer obese! But I've worked so hard and still am left with a mess.. I look hot with clothes on, so I feel like a fake? lol Before I was BIG and beautiful so guys knew what they were getting themselves into, and now its just different! But I'm learning to accept my new found body. From my experience weight loss doesn't solve self esteem issues (if you just have a little to lose yes maybe it can) But I believe in the in the power of positivity! Maybe put a up-lifting quote on you mirror, and every time you look in in the mirror read it to your self a few times. Before you go to sleep and when you wake up tell yourself "I am smart, I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am destined for greatness". Make a effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one, the moment the negative thought enters your mind push it away!! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves how wonderful we are!! Eventually these thoughts will become a part of your subconscious mind and you will no longer have to convince yourself of your greatness.. I realize I may sound like a crazy person, but no one is perfect. And the fact that you realize you are negative toward yourself you can work one learning to love yourself!! Theres a book called "the key to yourself" in my opinion its common sense, but not things you think of on a daily basis. It reminds you that you can change any bad habit you have and opens you mind up to all the possibilities within youself! I hope this helps and in my opinion your BF is right, your are gorgeous girl

stephdeeable

I just act confident and people believe I'm confident. Fake it till you make it.

Krecob

Hunny, you are beautiful dont let society make you think any differently. If everyone looked the same we would live in one boring world. Diversity is a beautiful thing, and being confident is the sexiest thing you could ever do for yourself. Look in the miror look at all your "flaws" (i call them differences) and love them. 30 years from now your going to be hitting yourself over the head for thinking this way and wishing you could look how you do now. Be confident in your skin, I know I stuggled alot with this in High School, having redhair and people telling you, you have no soul was hard to hear... but being different is probably the best thing ever, I would walk around the halls confident and people believed I was even tho underneath it i was very insecure. Now looking back at it I was being so redic and that is the age i guess. Now im soo greatful to have a healthy body, a great personality and im surounded by people who love me. If you are healthy you should be happy, if not keep doing what your doing eat healthy and workout.

jsiricos

You have a very pretty face now, just think how drop dead gorgeous you will look when you get where you want to be!

You have everything going for you, enjoy it!