weight loss + insercuirty

1Kristine1

Weight loss most definitly helps. Its helped me immensely.

runningfromzombies

So basically i always look in a mirror and just feel fat and ugly my boyfriend always tells me how beautiful and sexy i am, but i never believe him. So for anyone who has felt the same then lost weight, does it help? does it make you feel better? since ive started on this site i feel much healthier and every time i do exercise i feel better bout myself but i still feel insecure

Can only really share my experience, but, honestly--no. It helps a little, but honestly at 143 pounds I think I felt more critical of/worse about my body than I feel at 165.8 pounds. That's not to say that I don't want to relose that weight, because I do, but the change has to happen in the mind, not just the body. Work on eliminating negative self-talk; try to incorporate more positive self-talk; and give it time. You're doing all the right things to transform yourself, but it's going to take some work. :flowerforyou:

montlucia

I feel more confident when I lose weight however I wouldn't say it does much to change how I perceive my looks. I'm a lot more confident than I used to be but that wasn't down to weight loss. It's something I worked out on my own. Weight loss helps though!

Kauaiartist

Beckie:
There is a saying - "The mind is everything - what you think, you become" (a quote from Buddah)

Positive self-talk works - and so negative self-talk unfortunately works as well.

Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful - because you are - tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful - inside and out - and before too long you will finally realize yes, you are now and have always been beautiful.

Our society does put so much emphasis on a manufactured false unattainable type of beauty - google some of the beauties from years past - Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren - beautiful talented incredible women who were not a size zero, one, two, three ....curvey and absolutely stunning - go back even further to the Renaissance and look at paintings of women who were round and soft - a very different look from what you would see on the red carpet and they were all considered beautiful - and they were.

Look at other cultures and see that beauty is measured by many different yardsticks - the bottom line - you have a body that is where it is now - you can alter it in whatever way you want and that's fine - - but thank it for all that it does for you TODAY - you are healthy, you are able to walk, talk, move, lift, carry, see - so many things to be thankful for.

Best of everything on your weight loss journey - but don't wait for the pounds to come off to see your beauty - you already have that.

Aloha - Lynn Maile Taylor :flowerforyou:

MissJanet55

i wish i was like that but i think am blinded to only find flaws, maybe as i get older i will be more wise, i think being a teenage is hard sometime because to some people its all about being pretty/popular and how you should look because of the way famouse people look. i never have been bothered about being popular i am who i am and if people don't like that they know where the door is, i think its the pretty part, that sticks in my head when it shouldn't as i know am a nice person, i always put other people first, all i want to do is help people feel better about their self and have a better life. its better to be lovely and not the prettiest girl in the world rather than the other way round i guess i just can't take my own advice ...

You can learn this, but you need to practice.

You know how you can look at a photograph of someone you love and think it's a wonderful picture because you see their essence (for lack of a better word)? And all they see is a double chin or floppy upper arms or droopy eye? You need to look at yourself through those same eyes, the ones that love that person in the photograph.

Work on it every day. Try. Fail. Try again until you get it. You need to learn to see who you really are, and believe that it's reflected in the exterior. Flaws or not.

beckieboomoo

thankyou with what everyone has said has been really helpful and hopefully in time i will be able to see my beauty

KBeener

I look back now to my teenage years and I see that I was a cute and even thin girl. But I sure had low self-esteem... all the way through college. It's hard to be around pretty girls all the time, and girls tend to not build each other up, but rather judge each other and pick out each other's flaws. My relationship with my husband, having natural childbirth, and just getting older have really improved my self-esteem. My husband is so loving and accepting. Giving birth naturally showed me what an amazing thing my body really is, and getting older has made me realize that life is too short to not enjoy everything as much as i can. And that's what i most remind myself of whenever i'm feeling down about my looks.

Eating healthy and exercising really improve your mood and boost your self-esteem, so keep doing that! Also, just try to really enjoy these years you have and remind yourself that youth doesn't last forever and you should enjoy it as much as you can! Some people have lives much harder and physical disabilities that literally inhibit them from enjoying life fully. You are a beautiful and cute girl! And you are worthy of love and a happy life! Soak in the love that others give you but also love yourself!

KBeener

Beckie:
There is a saying - "The mind is everything - what you think, you become" (a quote from Buddah)

Positive self-talk works - and so negative self-talk unfortunately works as well.

Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful - because you are - tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful - inside and out - and before too long you will finally realize yes, you are now and have always been beautiful.

Our society does put so much emphasis on a manufactured false unattainable type of beauty - google some of the beauties from years past - Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren - beautiful talented incredible women who were not a size zero, one, two, three ....curvey and absolutely stunning - go back even further to the Renaissance and look at paintings of women who were round and soft - a very different look from what you would see on the red carpet and they were all considered beautiful - and they were.

Look at other cultures and see that beauty is measured by many different yardsticks - the bottom line - you have a body that is where it is now - you can alter it in whatever way you want and that's fine - - but thank it for all that it does for you TODAY - you are healthy, you are able to walk, talk, move, lift, carry, see - so many things to be thankful for.

Best of everything on your weight loss journey - but don't wait for the pounds to come off to see your beauty - you already have that.

Aloha - Lynn Maile Taylor :flowerforyou:

beautifully said!

beckieboomoo

Making this topic , was the best thing i have done in awhile its opened my eyes and made me smile for that thankyou everyone

princessdracos

I'm right there with you. Losing weight has definitely helped me feel prettier, but I still usually feel ugly. The other day, I looked in the mirror and actually smiled at what I saw: a jawline! lol I definitely feel better now than I did before, but I have 34 years worth of self-loathing to work through, so finding confidence is a slow process. It helps having friends who are amazing and supportive, but it still comes down to each of us as individuals to love ourselves. Now to practice what I preach! :laugh:

That being said, you're beautiful. Your boyfriend is not lying when he compliments you. :flowerforyou:

sandi117

I've made it a habit to look at myself in the mirror and compliment something new about myself everyday. Even if it's something I still don't like, I try to make it a positive. "I love how my stomach is shrinking!" Part of weight loss, I've found, is having a positive attitude about everything, even things you don't like.

bluecrayonz

hey omg i so can relate. So many times i look in the mirror and I'm like eww why cant i just do it..just lose the weight. And then because i feel so fat I tell myself theres no point in even trying im never gunna change and then i binge which is terrible but ik from the times i was losing weight i always felt alot better and so much more confident...so ye it helps alot

kimosabe1

Self esteem isn't about your body, it's all about what is in your head. There are a lot of skinny girls with low self esteem too. So, work on your whole self, not just your body.

GREAT ADVICE.......

2stepscloser

So basically i always look in a mirror and just feel fat and ugly my boyfriend always tells me how beautiful and sexy i am, but i never believe him. So for anyone who has felt the same then lost weight, does it help? does it make you feel better? since ive started on this site i feel much healthier and every time i do exercise i feel better bout myself but i still feel insecure

A friend and I recently had a lengthy discussion about this and he pointed out that over 90% of women have difficulty with confidence. It's changing a mindset and learning to love yourself in the process. I have very low self confidence when it comes to my appearance. Although my goal weight is still far away, I am working on accepting compliments as they come and believing in myself as I do in other aspects of my life.