weight loss + insercuirty

isabulle13

I'm sort of opposite! I had more confidence when I was heavier.. Now like you I'm more focused on my flaws, I think my mind hasn't adjusted to the fact that I'm no longer obese! But I've worked so hard and still am left with a mess.. I look hot with clothes on, so I feel like a fake? lol Before I was BIG and beautiful so guys knew what they were getting themselves into, and now its just different! But I'm learning to accept my new found body. From my experience weight loss doesn't solve self esteem issues (if you just have a little to lose yes maybe it can) But I believe in the in the power of positivity! Maybe put a up-lifting quote on you mirror, and every time you look in in the mirror read it to your self a few times. Before you go to sleep and when you wake up tell yourself "I am smart, I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am destined for greatness". Make a effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one, the moment the negative thought enters your mind push it away!! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves how wonderful we are!! Eventually these thoughts will become a part of your subconscious mind and you will no longer have to convince yourself of your greatness.. I realize I may sound like a crazy person, but no one is perfect. And the fact that you realize you are negative toward yourself you can work one learning to love yourself!! Theres a book called "the key to yourself" in my opinion its common sense, but not things you think of on a daily basis. It reminds you that you can change any bad habit you have and opens you mind up to all the possibilities within youself! I hope this helps and in my opinion your BF is right, your are gorgeous girl

This! ^^^

I want to say that for me it got better with age. I hated my body so bad, and always felt like a fake that people wouldn't see it with clothes on. Working out --> sanity check! I have not so much weight to lose but I am struggling with the scale as I see a number I haven't seen in years, and I just can't "see" it. So every time I work out it reminds me I'm also doing this because I want to live a long, healthy life, and I have a ritual of thanking my body for all it allowed me to do on that workout day. Might not be perfect but it's healthy and getting stronger every day :-)

tooliebell

I have good days and bad days. The good days, I feel awesome, thinner, and really good about what I am doing. Other days (and I have found these days are around my monthly cycle), I look at myself and don't see much change. Well I see the change, but it doesn't look good yet. I think its the expectation of what you should see and what you really see is different and that can cause strife in your confidence level. For me, getting back to feeling good about what I am doing and where I have come from is remembering that this is a process and I am still on the road to where I want to be. And the road looks different at different points. Sometimes, you just have to look backwards to see how far you have come.

I think after being overweight for so long, you have to give yourself a while to get into a new mindset.

deksgrl

Self esteem isn't about your body, it's all about what is in your head. There are a lot of skinny girls with low self esteem too. So, work on your whole self, not just your body.

ashlielinn

It helps and it doesn't. I'd say I'm overall more confident and accepting of myself. I feel better, for sure, and just knowing my clothes are half as big as they used to be makes me feel better in them. Also knowing I can wear a lot of things I couldn't before helps. That being said, I still have days when I feel like everything looks fat and I'm not pretty or attractive at all (having one of those today). Like others said, your body can change, but it doesn't mean your self esteem will. You have to work on both things simultaneously! Good luck!

dgljones

I know a guy twice your age wasn't who you were seeking advice from, but here I go anyway.
Plenty of girls feel exactly the same as you do, even ones you think are really pretty. Same as I promise plenty of them think you are.
So, don't focus on you, just make sure everyday you give out genuine compliments. Help other people feel better about themselves. You may find it makes you feel better about yourself, and often when you give out positivity the universe will throw some back.

sweetjrl

After the first 40lbs lost on my weight loss journey, I first, didn't believe it, and second, couldn't see it. I found myself in tears on more than one occasions believing all my hard work was for nothing. I spent a year sustaining that weight and it definitely has taken that long for me to get used to what I look like now and to adjust my own perception of myself. For the next 50lbs I want to lose, I'm making an effort to be more conscious of my weight loss and how my body is changing, while it's changing, instead of being shocked with it. You're beautiful, it takes time to adjust to big changes!

rmcminn89

I almost immediatley start feeling somewhat better just after I have changed my diet & exercise for a few days. It gives you a boost of energy you aren't used to having so it puts me in more positive moods. I have lost 5.5 pounds in the past 9 days and I am feeling great!

prettymorbidity

girl i used to be the same way....trust me , the way to start believing it , is when he tells you that you are beautiful, that you BELIEVE him, and say "thank you" never say "no im not" cause he will quit telling you. ...guys don't say stuff like that unless the mean it. i promise...you are beautiful to him or he wouldn't say it! you better start believing him! cause you ARE.....yes losing weight will help you feel better, but happiness starts on the inside out, not outside in. however, when i exercise, sometimes i cry! i know it sounds silly but its all those negative emotions that i used to feel about myself leaving my body! so it does help.......hang in there. we are all self concious.but the best thing to change how you feel is to start telling your boyfriend 2 words......."thank you" ...nothing more...... add me as a friend if you like. i just started the jillian 30 day shred 4 days ago and its WORKING...........

beckieboomoo

Thankyou all for leaving a comment and it really has opened my eyes and its a lot to take on board but its possible and i will get there , since ive started in January i have lost half a stone what is brilliant and i already feel better about myself most day just 4 stone to go

jsiricos

Update your weight seeing that number grow or decrease (depending on your settings) is a boost too

1Kristine1

Weight loss most definitly helps. Its helped me immensely.

runningfromzombies

So basically i always look in a mirror and just feel fat and ugly my boyfriend always tells me how beautiful and sexy i am, but i never believe him. So for anyone who has felt the same then lost weight, does it help? does it make you feel better? since ive started on this site i feel much healthier and every time i do exercise i feel better bout myself but i still feel insecure

Can only really share my experience, but, honestly--no. It helps a little, but honestly at 143 pounds I think I felt more critical of/worse about my body than I feel at 165.8 pounds. That's not to say that I don't want to relose that weight, because I do, but the change has to happen in the mind, not just the body. Work on eliminating negative self-talk; try to incorporate more positive self-talk; and give it time. You're doing all the right things to transform yourself, but it's going to take some work. :flowerforyou:

montlucia

I feel more confident when I lose weight however I wouldn't say it does much to change how I perceive my looks. I'm a lot more confident than I used to be but that wasn't down to weight loss. It's something I worked out on my own. Weight loss helps though!

Kauaiartist

Beckie:
There is a saying - "The mind is everything - what you think, you become" (a quote from Buddah)

Positive self-talk works - and so negative self-talk unfortunately works as well.

Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful - because you are - tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful - inside and out - and before too long you will finally realize yes, you are now and have always been beautiful.

Our society does put so much emphasis on a manufactured false unattainable type of beauty - google some of the beauties from years past - Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren - beautiful talented incredible women who were not a size zero, one, two, three ....curvey and absolutely stunning - go back even further to the Renaissance and look at paintings of women who were round and soft - a very different look from what you would see on the red carpet and they were all considered beautiful - and they were.

Look at other cultures and see that beauty is measured by many different yardsticks - the bottom line - you have a body that is where it is now - you can alter it in whatever way you want and that's fine - - but thank it for all that it does for you TODAY - you are healthy, you are able to walk, talk, move, lift, carry, see - so many things to be thankful for.

Best of everything on your weight loss journey - but don't wait for the pounds to come off to see your beauty - you already have that.

Aloha - Lynn Maile Taylor :flowerforyou:

MissJanet55

i wish i was like that but i think am blinded to only find flaws, maybe as i get older i will be more wise, i think being a teenage is hard sometime because to some people its all about being pretty/popular and how you should look because of the way famouse people look. i never have been bothered about being popular i am who i am and if people don't like that they know where the door is, i think its the pretty part, that sticks in my head when it shouldn't as i know am a nice person, i always put other people first, all i want to do is help people feel better about their self and have a better life. its better to be lovely and not the prettiest girl in the world rather than the other way round i guess i just can't take my own advice ...

You can learn this, but you need to practice.

You know how you can look at a photograph of someone you love and think it's a wonderful picture because you see their essence (for lack of a better word)? And all they see is a double chin or floppy upper arms or droopy eye? You need to look at yourself through those same eyes, the ones that love that person in the photograph.

Work on it every day. Try. Fail. Try again until you get it. You need to learn to see who you really are, and believe that it's reflected in the exterior. Flaws or not.

beckieboomoo

thankyou with what everyone has said has been really helpful and hopefully in time i will be able to see my beauty

KBeener

I look back now to my teenage years and I see that I was a cute and even thin girl. But I sure had low self-esteem... all the way through college. It's hard to be around pretty girls all the time, and girls tend to not build each other up, but rather judge each other and pick out each other's flaws. My relationship with my husband, having natural childbirth, and just getting older have really improved my self-esteem. My husband is so loving and accepting. Giving birth naturally showed me what an amazing thing my body really is, and getting older has made me realize that life is too short to not enjoy everything as much as i can. And that's what i most remind myself of whenever i'm feeling down about my looks.

Eating healthy and exercising really improve your mood and boost your self-esteem, so keep doing that! Also, just try to really enjoy these years you have and remind yourself that youth doesn't last forever and you should enjoy it as much as you can! Some people have lives much harder and physical disabilities that literally inhibit them from enjoying life fully. You are a beautiful and cute girl! And you are worthy of love and a happy life! Soak in the love that others give you but also love yourself!

KBeener

Beckie:
There is a saying - "The mind is everything - what you think, you become" (a quote from Buddah)

Positive self-talk works - and so negative self-talk unfortunately works as well.

Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful - because you are - tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful - inside and out - and before too long you will finally realize yes, you are now and have always been beautiful.

Our society does put so much emphasis on a manufactured false unattainable type of beauty - google some of the beauties from years past - Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren - beautiful talented incredible women who were not a size zero, one, two, three ....curvey and absolutely stunning - go back even further to the Renaissance and look at paintings of women who were round and soft - a very different look from what you would see on the red carpet and they were all considered beautiful - and they were.

Look at other cultures and see that beauty is measured by many different yardsticks - the bottom line - you have a body that is where it is now - you can alter it in whatever way you want and that's fine - - but thank it for all that it does for you TODAY - you are healthy, you are able to walk, talk, move, lift, carry, see - so many things to be thankful for.

Best of everything on your weight loss journey - but don't wait for the pounds to come off to see your beauty - you already have that.

Aloha - Lynn Maile Taylor :flowerforyou:

beautifully said!

beckieboomoo

Making this topic , was the best thing i have done in awhile its opened my eyes and made me smile for that thankyou everyone

princessdracos

I'm right there with you. Losing weight has definitely helped me feel prettier, but I still usually feel ugly. The other day, I looked in the mirror and actually smiled at what I saw: a jawline! lol I definitely feel better now than I did before, but I have 34 years worth of self-loathing to work through, so finding confidence is a slow process. It helps having friends who are amazing and supportive, but it still comes down to each of us as individuals to love ourselves. Now to practice what I preach! :laugh:

That being said, you're beautiful. Your boyfriend is not lying when he compliments you. :flowerforyou: