Can people REALLY be motivated by someone else?

2

Replies

  • Katalyst77
    Katalyst77 Posts: 79
    Yes. On a daily basis.
  • coastie_wife07
    coastie_wife07 Posts: 99
    It is both.

    I started lifting weights after seeing another women in my gym do them (I know her outside of the gym)

    Last week she came up to me and said "you should start doing abs with us!" (her and her workout buddy)
    So I jumped on in and did it, every since last weds I have been doing it on my own without them since I have a 2 hr limit (Have to pick up my youngest from the child watch)
  • DaniJeanine
    DaniJeanine Posts: 473 Member
    Absolutely! There's a lot of times that my boyfriend will suggest that we both go to the gym. If we go together, it helps motivate me more to get out of the house--especially now in winter. This site is also motivating when I see that no one else is making excuses today! However, I believe you do have to have some inner drive that leads you to *care* about being in shape. Without that, it doesn't matter what the people around you are doing lol
  • symkat
    symkat Posts: 70
    Sometimes a person can change your view or perception of something. they say something in a different way and you say " hmm, I never thought of it that way." you can't make someone change if they don't want to but you can keep them from giving up when they get discouraged.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    YES....

    at the gym the other night was on the elliptical and was just about done when this cute girl got on the glider n front of me wearing yoga pants, sports bra and a pony tail. another 20 minutes may not kill anyone but it will make you sore like nobody's business..
    Just sayin...
  • Healthydiner65
    Healthydiner65 Posts: 1,552 Member
    Yes OlDave! We can be motivated by other as long as the motivation is non judgemental and given with a gentle nudge. I find the greatest motivators for me are the ones who give helpful comments honestly. People who never give their own personal thoughts are o.k. to have as friends but don't actually motivate me. For instance one of my greatest motivators stated"own it, log it, and move on" when I complained about screwing up my diet for the day.
  • notenoughspeed
    notenoughspeed Posts: 290 Member
    I say you still need some internal drive to do something because if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it. I can tell you that yes, others can motivate you. I have a friend whom at the time, I had not talked to in two years. When I saw her again, she had dropped like 60 pounds. I was like "Holy Crap!" I was definitely impressed, and it was a motivational factor for me to start to improve my health. It could also be that I was and still am attracted to her, and didn't want her seeing me like I am now. Had to catch up.

    Now, I'm doing this for myself. I want to look in the mirror and see my slim sexy self of yesteryear. I remember what it was like to be in shape (and not the round shape).
  • Car0lynnM
    Car0lynnM Posts: 332 Member
    I was motivated by my doctor to lose weight and be more healthy...he said exactly the right thing to make it happen for me. But, it did have to click inside me. If what he said hadn't resonated with me, it wouldn't have happened.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It has to come from within. Motivation and support from others is just a bonus.

    And I say this from experience. I used people as crutches in my weight loss attempts before. I'd buddy up with someone and they didn't check in with me as often as I thought they should so it was their fault that I failed. Or they didn't keep up with our gym schedule and that made it ok for me to slack off too. We're adults, we're all accountable for our own actions and it's no one's fault but our own if we fail. If something doesn't work then you figure out another way to make it work. You don't blame someone or something else for your failures.

    For instance, it's not my husband's fault if he tempts me with pizza and I give in...that's on me. But I can find ways to lessen the blow. I plan meals for the week so when he asks me "hey, how about pizza for dinner", I can say "no, I really need to cook up this chicken or it'll go bad, maybe Saturday". This also gives me a chance to plan my calories for Saturday (eat light, exercise) so that I can afford that pizza. And knowing my husband like I do, if he's asking for take-out a lot, it's probably because he's not enjoying the current choices. So maybe I get out the recipe book and come up with some new and tasty options and have a little chat with him about what he'd like since he's obviously bored.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    i have been told several times that i am motivating people. both on here and out in the real world. while it does have to come from within, and for lack of a better word/phrase a person has to hit their lowest point or they have to make a hard decision to change.

    i did the latter strictly so that i could play basketball better. i would guess people seeing that someone with in pissing distance of 300 and eats fast food at least 3-5 days a week can make a change shows them that is possible and that its not a miracle drug or some fad diet.

    all my friends know the decisions i have made to get to where i am and will continue to do from this point on and while they provide me encouragement i to provide them inspiration....
  • s07civic
    s07civic Posts: 50 Member
    To answer the OP (original poster)'s question, for me, I am DEFINITELY motivated when I see someone who is fit (or fat) working out. It makes me realize that I, too, am capable of doing it! But, yes, you must get to a point where you really want to make a change. For me, it was going to my yearly checkup (which I hadn't been to in years) and being told I had to do something or else I may get diabetes. I went to a nutritionist and started MFP and haven't looked back.

    EDIT: Oh, by the way, I am only 21, so you can imagine how shocked I was when I heard that I may get diabetes.
  • junerbooner
    junerbooner Posts: 188 Member
    others might be able to encourage you...but yes, if you don't WANT it for yourself, it won't happen....

    This is right, It is both, BUT YOU MUST WANT IT YOURSELF SO BADLY THAT WEAK MOMENTS OR STRESS FROM LIFE WON'T DERAIL YOU!!
    It takes dedication, perseverance, determination, and will power to eat clean while everyone around you is having the pies, cakes, pastas, junk food, etc. in front of you!! The past holidays were the major test for me. I not only watched them eat all those goodies while I had a salad; but I had to cook it too!! Friends here on MFP are super ,very supportive, and encouraging, That does help a lot, but it still comes down to YOU and what you put in your mouth and the exercise you do to improve your health!! Best of luck on your journey!!
  • missability
    missability Posts: 223
    First the "CLICK", then when it begins to wax and wane, and the creeps start to tug at your mind....."ah just a bite won't hurt, and I'll eat that, and start again tomorrow"...THAT'S when friends and other peoples success, empathy, pictures, struggles, etc...can keep you from giving in...at least that's how it was for me...the click came the morning of January 1st....I had been making all the plans, slowly changing things for 2 month, (since Thanksgiving), but when I woke up New Years Day, I was headed right for the kitchen to do my usual routine.....and then CLICK....IT HAPPENED, I said "NO, Not this time!!!!" Literally out-loud, I said that! And have not looked back in 37 days. I have lost 18 pounds in this past 5 weeks and I have had several little nigglings in my mind....but then I get on MFP and either start to write my blog, or look in the community for success with pics....it has been a great tool....but i needed the CLICK initially. Beth Ann
  • North44
    North44 Posts: 359 Member
    Both but here's the other side of the motivation coin that is very vital for me and that's accountability. If I have zero external accountability I tend to slide back into old habits slowly but surely. I'm kept accountable by logging, by the scale and by the people around me. Of course the desire to achieve my goals is coming from within.
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    I truly find motivation and inspiration in other people. I have had so many low days, but when I see someone just hang in there and fight the fight, I get new motivation to keep on going. This has happened SO many times in my journey.
  • thatcrazykat
    thatcrazykat Posts: 73 Member
    You have to make the choice for change yourself. Others may help motivate you by telling you their stories of success and what works for them, but that may not work for you. Our individuality is what makes every person's journey in life different. I also believe that sharing your own stories help you be accountable and may be the thing that helps others stay motivated and inspired.
  • gayatrik
    gayatrik Posts: 173
    Or....does something INSIDE of each person have to "click" to change long-held behaviors? I believe it's the latter.

    Your thoughts please.

    the latter for sure!! My family (bros, mum, hubby) has been pushing me and trying to motivate me for an year now but never ever it clicked... unless in Jan, there was a festival and we had to go shopping and all dresses were so tight .. even then i didnt feel the heat to lose weight totally.... but again on the day of festival, my bros took some pics and i almost puked looking at my ownself and its after a week of that incident that i really moved my *kitten* and from then on trying to at least get sweated for 30 min in a day and keeping a track of what i am eating and all that...

    Of course, i started to look at Success Story pics in MFP to add the fuel but the heat should start within!!
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Motivation comes from deep within you. Its up to you to dig deep to find it.
  • skmolove
    skmolove Posts: 191 Member
    i think it comes from within. once you start we easily become motivated by others. i heard a saying once; after hearing it i've applied it to my life. i've referred to it over and over again. here it is, I hope it strikes a chord in just one of you and inspires...
    - if you settle for what you got, you deserve what you get -
    humm think about it, how's it apply to you & don't we all deserve better? :huh:
  • Katy_G2013
    Katy_G2013 Posts: 70 Member
    Certainly, seeing other peoples' progress is motivation. How we use that motivation is up to us.
  • Shellbug75
    Shellbug75 Posts: 74 Member
    I think it is both as well. I personally think it is easier to have a support system. My husband and I have decided to eat healthier and lose weight together. We tried this in the past, but when one of us "cheated", the other one did as well. So we are more willing to stick to the plan. If one wants to cheat on our diet/exercise program, the other has to tell them it's not a good idea. It is so easy to get into those old eating habbits, but so hard to try and dig yourself out of it again.
  • yasavi
    yasavi Posts: 30
    well, if I see someone in great shape and they have earned and struggled to get there, it makes me want it for myself. So yes, people motivate me and something inside me clicks! It's both.
  • hcokley
    hcokley Posts: 8
    I think it's mostly a personal decision to want to change. YOU have to want it. But encouragement and people noticing your efforts and progroess definitely help.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    Once you want to make the change, other people can help you...

    Myself... even with people wanting to help, it didn't do anything until I wanted to make the change.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    I believe it's both.

    People have to find their motivation within themselves, but sometimes it takes seeing someone else to make it "click". Once you're motivated on your own, it's more than possible to get extra motivation from others.
  • spike90
    spike90 Posts: 704 Member
    I believe it is both as well :)
  • usmc73
    usmc73 Posts: 18
    I believe that most people need a "life changing moment" in there lives that enables them to motivate themselves. Only after you have made that lifestyle change is when you need to get motivation and help from others. The beginning is the easy part sticking to it is the hard part.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    you 'click' when the time is right..you are then inspired by others to do more and carry on. I decided on a new 'lifestyle' and to lose weight..my mfp friends inspired me to do it.

    and now they kick my *kitten* without mercy if i slack.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Yes, but it usually involves firearms or a medieval dungeon.
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
    I started on here without 'friends' and gained some after several months, but I found the comments to be obnoxious since they were pretty generic and nobody actually knew me anyway which made me less likely to log in and follow through on my plans, so I deleted everyone and got back on track (after not logging for several months and gaining about 12lbs back from my initial loss.) I find that my real life friends are somewhat motivating when they comment on how much better I look, but I think it mostly is internal motivation that drives me. Everyone's different, though.

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