Just broke up. ...feeling my motivation slipping away.

RingSize8

My boyfriend and I just broke up, like literally, within the hour, and I can already feel my will to push forward weakening. This morning I was looking forward to going for a run after work, and doing some lifting. ...now I just kind of want to go home and go to sleep. I could use some help from someone who has gone through this before. How did you keep from losing your motivation? I can only imagine my desire to do some emotional eating will crop up soon too. I've been completely on track for a month. Eff.

runningfromzombies

My boyfriend and I just broke up, like literally, within the hour, and I can already feel my will to push forward weakening. This morning I was looking forward to going for a run after work, and doing some lifting. ...now I just kind of want to go home and go to sleep. I could use some help from someone who has gone through this before. How did you keep from losing your motivation? I can only imagine my desire to do some emotional eating will crop up soon too. I've been completely on track for a month. Eff.

Been there, done that! Fall 2011, I was at my lowest weight ever, and could've gotten used to keeping that body--then me and my boyfriend of 4+ years broke up, and I went into full-time party mode, all the time. Needless to say, I gained back some weight. What I wish I'd done was calmly reassess my priorities, but I can't blame myself for how I reacted, and I honestly look back on that fall with fondness, anyway. I would suggest trying to take today, or maybe the next few days, off, and getting back on the wagon after allowing yourself to be a grub for a little bit. It's gonna take some effort, but you can push through. (:

SallyMadonna33

Think of that month and how proud of yourself you were! Don't let the EX ruin your progress! You deserve happiness and if he isn't the source of it, Good bye to him! I say get your butt out there and complete that run you planned on and imagine each step releasing anger. Running is a great way to clear your mind.

Shock_Wave

Use it as fuel..

Bowtieguy3

I actually used my breakups, and subsequent divorce, as more motivation to get in shape, work out, and lose weight... There is no better revenge than making yourself even better looking and healthier than they remember....

If you go exercise, remember the endorphin rush will help make you feel better. If your gym has a sauna/steam room/hot tub, take adventage of that and use it to relax and calm your nerves...

infamousmk

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

MightyDomo

It hurts and we all naturally feel like crawling into a warm bed with a bowl of devilish goodness to soothe us.

The only way not to do it is to keep on with your plans. Don't let this stop you. You are a powerful person with goals that you cannot wait to reach, so reach them and use the hurt to fuel your workout Run the feelings out, then lift the aggression of the loss.

You can do it!

TeachTheGirl

I'm with Kortney. I think you're entitled to do whatever you feel you need to do to get through.

Hell. Eat the ice-cream WHILE working out.

Grief is a necessary human emotion, but it sucks; you'll find out how to cope once you're over the initial rush.

pastryari

Bobtheangrytomato

Step 1) Get really skinny and hot
Step 2) When he asks to get back together say NO
Step 3) Feel awesome!

coleeli

My boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up recently too. I don't think I ate for 2 days because I was miserable. I stayed in bed and cried. It's terrible and hard, and I'm still sad to be honest. But I knew I had to pick myself back up and keep going because I was getting healthy for ME. I channeled my sadness into exercise and I really think that helped me get through it. Exercising helps keep the mind off of things like this. Now I'm even more committed to my weight loss. I'm seeing positive changes in my body and that makes me happier than any other person could right now. Stay strong!

bellaa_x0

this is simply more reason for you to have double the motivation to move forward! i don't know the details of your break-up of course, but i have gone through similiar experiences in the past and used it to my advantage to better myself mentally and physically. keep your head high and your eyes on the prize! :flowerforyou:

PlanetVelma

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

This right here! I went through a pretty nasty break up recently. I kept up (as best as I could) with my workouts, kept up my nutrition BUT i did allow myself time to grieve, be angry and throw all his *kitten* out! (Bitter party of one, you're table is ready!).

KenosFeoh

Allow yourself to take some time to mourn your loss if you need to; there's no shame in that.

LareishaH

So I recently went through the same thing, and I suggest that you evaluate the entire situation. Where you losing weight for him? If your answer is no, and I hope it is, then realize that your life goes on with or without him. You want to be the best person you can be for yourself! Either go into the run realizing that you are not going to have the same results as you had yesterday because you are not focused or use the anger and disappointment to drive you to have the best run ever!! Either way get out there and run for yourself girl!! P.S. It is okay to cry later....

calibriintx

Sorry to hear about your breakup. I don't want to sound harsh, but why would you lose your motivation after your breakup? Were you doing this for him? If you're doing it for you, then KEEP doing it for you. You're going to experience ups and downs the rest of your life. Unless you want your weight to mirror those ups and downs, you've got to keep your feelings off the fork. I don't have a lot of advice for staying motivated to work out, because I struggle there even when I'm happy. But just find something you love and stick with it. Good luck!

MissFitee

If you're angry, take it out on the dumbbells, kettlebell, barbell... If you're sad exhaust yourself and pump your body full of endorphins - they're like your own personal happy pill.

Cyndieann

Remember how fabulous falling in love feels? Focus on preparing yourself for that...cuz you know your next love is just around the corner!! :flowerforyou:

_DaniD_

Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.

_JamieB_

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

Completely agree!!!!

meghan6867

Use it as fuel..

This! It's time to kick some *kitten* and take some names.

triathlete5301

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

This! You are only going to make yourself feel worse if you give up- It will be a downward spiral!

Good luck! :ohwell:

Jul158

I had this happen on New Year's Day..and it actually helped fuel my motivation. I gave myself five days to get my act together (I hung out with friends, called family, and went to dance classes and kept really busy so I wouldn't look at my phone). I felt like it was a new chance to work on me and focus only on me, no one else! I started paleo and weight lifting to keep my mind busy, it helps : ) try something new, even if youre not sure youll like it! give yourself a few days to sleep/be sad/read/yoga and try to not turn to food. It'll make you feel better in the long run.

toscarthearmada

If anything a nice jog is what you need! I lost a lot of sadness out on that track!

17ChargerGirl17

I actually used my breakups, and subsequent divorce, as more motivation to get in shape, work out, and lose weight... There is no better revenge than making yourself even better looking and healthier than they remember....

If you go exercise, remember the endorphin rush will help make you feel better. If your gym has a sauna/steam room/hot tub, take adventage of that and use it to relax and calm your nerves...

THIS IS SO TRUE!!

Simutaytion

I just did too and trust me its sucks for the first couple of days but you will get through this i promise you. You can allow yourself a day to have some ice cream but you have to make sure that the next day you get up and eat right and workout and forget about it all as much as possible and kick some *kitten*! good luck to you!

sixpacklady

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.

My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

Love this ^^. Best of both worlds , And also have a warm dark chocolate brownie with the icecream

Yeah, I totally agree...We are here to support you. Go kick some butt!!

keshiabug1

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

This right here! I went through a pretty nasty break up recently. I kept up (as best as I could) with my workouts, kept up my nutrition BUT i did allow myself time to grieve, be angry and throw all his *kitten* out! (Bitter party of one, you're table is ready!).

I agree with this! Do 1 and 2... and maybe even add a long nice bath to it! The emotions WILL hit you at some point, so you might as well do it sooner rather than later, but its no reason to give up a healthy lifestyle. Work out, then eat, cry, sleep... whatever! Mental health is just as important as physical health... so take care of both!

fuzzieme

I actually used my breakups, and subsequent divorce, as more motivation to get in shape, work out, and lose weight... There is no better revenge than making yourself even better looking and healthier than they remember....

If you go exercise, remember the endorphin rush will help make you feel better. If your gym has a sauna/steam room/hot tub, take adventage of that and use it to relax and calm your nerves...

this

BondBomb

I don't indulge my sadness. I exercised my way through my divorce and came out hotter than when I went in. I'm guessing that felt way better that gaining 20 lbs being miserable and feeding the misery. Food is not a good coping mechanism.

zumbarock

Totally agree with using it for fuel! Anger and sadness are great for working out, getting motivated is the hard part! Who wants to work out when they are sad. Once you start though........you'll be glad that you did! Then eat the ice cream!! You'll deserve it :flowerforyou:

Rough one, so sorry!