Just broke up. ...feeling my motivation slipping away.

2

Replies

  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    There are two schools of thought here:


    1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

    2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


    My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

    I agree. It's ok to feel down. Just don't let it keep you down.
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
    you're single? should give you more motivation
  • teachnc
    teachnc Posts: 9
    Give yourself a day or two to absorb the change in your life. Then call up a friend and go for a walk or a run. Having someone else there to take some of the attention OFF the ex might be helpful to get you over the hump. If you do go on a binge just remember that you are most likely NOT going to gain 5 lbs from one day of ice cream and it won't ruin your entire fitness plan.
  • Dementedllama
    Dementedllama Posts: 177 Member
    My boyfriend and I just broke up, like literally, within the hour, and I can already feel my will to push forward weakening. This morning I was looking forward to going for a run after work, and doing some lifting. ...now I just kind of want to go home and go to sleep. I could use some help from someone who has gone through this before. How did you keep from losing your motivation? I can only imagine my desire to do some emotional eating will crop up soon too. I've been completely on track for a month. Eff.

    I was where you are just last month. I allowed myself one day of horrible eating (I ate a LOT of ice cream!) with no exercise. But then the next day you really just need to pick up where you left off. Imagine how many guys will fawn all over you when you're at your GW! A lot! You'll find one even better with your new body and new gained confidence, look at it that way. Let it motivate you to be better so that he'll see what he really missed out on! <3
  • freshstart14
    freshstart14 Posts: 49 Member
    I just went through this! Someone who was a very important part of my life for 4 years was suddenly no longer in my life at all - and I am NOT one of those "so upset I can't even eat" people.

    I honestly think you have to come to terms with it to really deal with it correctly. Binge eating won't help and working out just to make him jealous won't either from my experience.. I've never been able to change myself for someone else's sake.

    Just remember, the best revenge is living well (in general! and for your own sake! no binging or obsessing)

    Good luck! And I swear every day is easier than the one that came before.
  • ChristiH4000
    ChristiH4000 Posts: 531 Member
    Been there! Force yourself to go exercise. It will help you. The emotions can really weigh us down, but you can help yourself by keeping yourself in motion. Exercise helps keep us from wallowing in our misery. With love!
  • bellaa_x0
    bellaa_x0 Posts: 1,062 Member
    I actually used my breakups, and subsequent divorce, as more motivation to get in shape, work out, and lose weight... There is no better revenge than making yourself even better looking and healthier than they remember....

    If you go exercise, remember the endorphin rush will help make you feel better. If your gym has a sauna/steam room/hot tub, take adventage of that and use it to relax and calm your nerves...

    THIS IS SO TRUE!!

    agreed!!
  • KarenJean91
    KarenJean91 Posts: 283 Member
    ! I've been through a lot of breakups...... they suck and hurt so bad. I got super depressed and didn't eat and felt awful. Just like everyone says, time heals all.... always thought that was BS, but it really is true. Try to use your hurt as motivation... that always makes me feel better.
  • JULIEdance
    JULIEdance Posts: 139 Member
    I would give myself a day or two off. If you feel like running, fine. If you don´t, try to go for a walk instead (this works the best for me). If you want to sleep, do it. Whatever helps you at the moment.
    Just try to awoid emotional eating. Maybe it could make you feel better for a while, but for me it simply doesn´t work. I would feel even more miserable - while eting or the minute afterwards. Try to have a nice cup of tea and something healthy to have energy instead. Also resisting will help you feeling stronger and it will be easier for you to get back to on track and feel motivated again.
  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    They do give out awards for best break up revenge body. :)

    Seriously though, Don't give someone else that kind of control over yourself. Sure, maybe tonight calls for a tub of ice-cream and a bottle of wine, but do not give yourself permission for anything past that. We are creatures that are amazing at making excuses, we can come up with a justification for about anything, don't give into them!
  • shrinkingjackie
    shrinkingjackie Posts: 14
    My motivation is to see the look on my Ex's face when he realizes just how dumb he was to let me go over something so temporary like weight...but then I guess there is a reason why he is an X and I am a happier and healthier single!
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
    There are two schools of thought here:


    1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

    2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


    My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

    This, this, this!!! Best of both worlds
  • georgehatten1
    georgehatten1 Posts: 5
    Just remember why you started doing this in the first place and with your new and improved figure you will be able to do much better than your ex.
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
    Go for a walk, take a bath, go get a pedicure. Do what you need to treat yourself AND get away from food. You're probably not ready to think this way, but when you are, motivate yourself with how hot you'll look for your next date. (Again, when you are ready, which you are clearly not.) For now, focus on nurturing yourself and remind yourself that food can nurture or hurt you. Just like a man. Hmm... making good choices now makes for happiness and stability in the future. <HUGS>
  • LPDLPD
    LPDLPD Posts: 25
    keep on the diet and show your ex just how good you can look!
  • myturningpoint
    myturningpoint Posts: 22
    My ex and Isigned divorce papers in May of last year. August we had a briht ray of hope for rekindling our relationship. By October this was utterly crushed. The 45 pounds I had lost in trying to be a better person for him... I gained it back. It is now February adn I have only truly lost about 10 of those pounds... and I'm looking at summer.

    You never ever gain anything by giving up. You only lose more progress.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    I would say use the hurt to motivate your workout. You may want to just go to bed and never leave it, but that won't help you. Use the negative energy and make it fuel your workout.
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
    You're emotional health and physical health are both very important.

    Not all days are equal and sometimes one type of health needs to be placed above the other.

    Listen to your heart and body and make the decision accordingly.

    :flowerforyou:
  • gloryofthis
    gloryofthis Posts: 46 Member
    i didnt cope i regained 60lbs.... trust me, you dont wanna go down that road x
  • Indyimp
    Indyimp Posts: 75 Member
    There are two schools of thought here:


    1] Go work out. Smash *kitten*. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

    2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


    My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.

    ^^This^^
  • txbutterfly69
    txbutterfly69 Posts: 115 Member
    HIS loss! I agree with the post go run! Do something using super high energy and you will be amazed how good you feel afterwards. Don't give up. :flowerforyou:

    Personally I like to crank up the music super loud and dance.
  • TheRunningGuppy
    TheRunningGuppy Posts: 651 Member
    I wish I had some good advice for you. I've never dealt with a breakup (married the first guy I dated, no regrets!), but have had some serious issues come up between my husband and I that I allowed to push me off track. At that point my starting weight was lower than this time around, and I'd lost 20+ lbs already, but I just dropped everything good that I was doing with my health, and gained the 20, plus 20 more beyond. So please grieve as you need to, but push through it, don't allow it to do to you what happened to me.
  • gloryofthis
    gloryofthis Posts: 46 Member
    i didnt cope i regained 60lbs.... trust me, you dont wanna go down that road x
  • littlebre33
    littlebre33 Posts: 318
    Use it as motivation!! Make him regret breaking up with you when he sees you all sexy and confident!!! Remember, you are doing this weight loss for yourself! Keep going and let the pieces fall where they may :)
  • RingSize8
    RingSize8 Posts: 175 Member
    Just to clarify, my weight had nothing to do with our breakup. I'm getting in shape for myself, period. He was actually really supportive of my decision to get into better shape. Which is weird, because I almost feel like my getting in shape has pushed us apart on some level - don't really know why though. Thanks for all the advice, and I think I'm going to try and get in tonight's workout in one form or another. I just feel. ...empty. I know that whatever happens, things will be okay, but in this moment, I dunno. I just don't know where I am. This wasn't at all how I expected this day to go. I wish something about this situation made sense to me. But, when dealing with another person, sometimes the things they do just don't add up for you. I guess I just have to live with that. Thanks again, ya'll.
  • skittles137
    skittles137 Posts: 40 Member
    Step 1) Get really skinny and hot
    Step 2) When he asks to get back together say NO
    Step 3) Feel awesome!

    Exactly :)
  • trb85
    trb85 Posts: 81 Member
    Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.

    Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
  • terijoestoes
    terijoestoes Posts: 205 Member
    Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.

    Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
    This is so beyond disgusting!!!!
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
    guuuurllll. I know you are sad but if you keep working at it and you will make him super jealous later and it will feel good! Just sayin'

    Also, the book "It's called a break up because it's broken" is excellent.
  • montlucia
    montlucia Posts: 90
    Stay strong and try your best not to get into self-pity mode 'cause it'll be a slippery slope.
    Also check out baggagereclaim.com. That site helped me so much with the whole break-up angst stuff.

Categories