Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
Options
Replies
-
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^ I agree with this.
It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...0 -
Oh dear.
Trying to lose weight is already hard enough and it's even harder when the person that you're in a relationship with, doesn't need to lose weight. If you want to be with this person, you will have to conquer the biggest task in weight loss... willpower. I understand where you're coming from about wanting healthy food in your body and working out but, that doesn't mean that he has to have healthy food in his body. The house that you live in is both of yours- You both need to feel welcome and satisfied in your home. He needs to feel like there is food for him to eat and you need to feel the same way. Can I suggest making your own cupboard and giving him his own? You could have your healthy food in that cupboard and he can have his crap (lol) in his cupoboard. You can also have your own space in the fridge. I am not trying to come off as being rude but, I know how it feels to be in a house with someone who has different ideas than you do and it doesn't feel very good. The two of you CAN work this out if you can learn how to talk to each other without these strange outbursts. He sounds like he has been bottling up his emotions for quite sometime now, (I see that you have lost 80 pounds) and it sounds like he just exploded for no reason at all. You didn't and don't deserve what he did or what he said so, don't get me wrong when I am sticking up for his eating habits. You should have a conversation with him explaining WHY you want to lose weight and WHAT kind of support you need from him. He should want you to be happy even if that means losing weight. I guess you could take it as a compliment that he loves you the way that you are. It isn't fair for you to have to walk on eggshells everyday and not be able to talk to him about things that you're passionate about.... you need to get that point accross to him. Is there any way to have a nice conversation without fighting and without using foul words on each other's emotions? That should happen soon so that you can continue on your weight loss adventure.
Good luck to you. Add me as a friend if you'd like.0 -
Ouch. I bet he's afraid you'll realize you're too hot for him. But, he managed to bring home wings, so he can probably bring home pop or other things he wants. The compromise I have with my husband is on the grocery list - if he wants something he has to put it on there. I don't drink pop, so I don't know when there's none left. I don't like that he drinks it, but that's his pleasure.0
-
Your husbands a food addict.0
-
I live in a split house too, I am watching what I eat and my hubby is not. I buy all the old stuff he likes and all the new stuff that I like. When I fix a meal I build it around my plan, but have extra dishes for hubby. I do most of the cooking because I can't trust his judgement and I certainly don't want to have separate meals. That would not be constructive. I don't know the extent of your calorie reduction, but your husband may have been experiencing low blood sugar and reacted badly. He wouldn't be the first or last person to throw a tantrum out of frustration. I would bet that everyone here has done the same thing over something just as solvable. I know I have.0
-
I also don't think it has to be all or nothing.
I buy 3 different types of milk at my house....I drink skim, the kids drink 2% and my husband drinks rice milk (he's lactose intolerant). I'm the only one who likes Greek yogurt, so I buy that for me and buy regular yogurt for the kids. There are plenty of things that I like to eat that nobody else in the house does. No big deal.
As for meals....I only cook one meal. My husband does understand and appreciate that I cook healthy 80% of the time. I'm not so strict about it that we can't have some 'fun' food sometimes. It's all about balance. Our dinners usually consist of a protein (meat), starch and veggie. When we eat balanced, healthy food 80-85% of the time, we don't think twice about having pizza or chinese take out here and there.0 -
Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.
most sensible answer on this topic... the rest of these folks gonna have you fat lonely and alone in the not too distant future....0 -
I agree with much of what has been said before me.
My husband doesn't mind me trying to eat healthier, and he doesn't mind me adding more veggies to our meals, but he would blow a gasket if I told him not to bring snacks or bacon into the house ever again. lol. So we have a deal - he has his snacks and coke and junk food, but he keeps it where I never go. In this case, in his office. And I asked him not to buy my biggest temptation, which is Oreos. If he wants something unhealthy for dinner, he tells me the night before so that I can either make space in my calories for some, or I can plan to eat something else. But he knows he has to cook it himself! And since many of our meal plans include chicken, it's very simple for me to make one piece for him the way he likes, and one for me that's healthier. He still sort of feels weird about it, but we manage.
0 -
He can cook for himself if he doesn't like the foods you eat..0
-
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?0 -
Or just get super hot and make him feel like a fat slob so he'll start losing weight too0
-
Yeahhhhh, no. His way of handling the situation was wrong. He should have just communicated that he would like some food in the house that he prefers to eat. Nothing wrong with using your words.0
-
just break up0
-
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^ I agree with this.
It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...
^ I agree with both of these. My husband is already at his healthy weight and has maintained for over two years. He has his foods that he needs to have around him and so we try to plan for his foods and my foods throughout the day so we are both happy.0 -
EXACTLY!!!0
-
ooooh ooooh oooooh, let me slap him upside the head for you. Oh hell no!!! Make him go buy it. :flowerforyou:0
-
dayum. I'm a scared of you.
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Geesh I can't imagine living this way Holy mole.
Okay so to the OP. I think your husband was right to be mad, not right in the way he handled it. I don't really get why you'd put him on your diet when he's the one who is already slim? I think it's reasonable that WHILE you are losing weight and have a problem to fix, it be your problem and not everyone else's. I can only HOPE you were not putting the calorie restrictions of a woman on a man?! He was only trying to sabotage your diet because you put him on it too! He just wanted it to be over for everyone.
I would seriously go out and get him some things he likes. I would have done this even if he hadn't made that terrible demand but the fact that he did, at least shows that he is somewhat in touch with his emotions. He was trying to keep it in for a full month! I would have snapped too. Imagine this lady I just quoted she wouldn't have taken it for a hot second. You're lucky he held out this long, but would have been luckier if he had starting telling you he doesn't like that stuff sooner....OR HAS HE?
Usually whenever someone makes a complaint during an argument LOTS of omissions are made and that's why I ask.
Get YOU and HIM both food you both like and make him and yourself happy and agree to disagree on what to eat for the next year or two or however long it takes you to lose your excess weight. You're on a diet NOT him. Poor guy. :noway:0 -
So YOU'RE the one that is making all these changes, without asking him. And then you're wondering why he's snapping when you're feeding him crap in the name of "health food"? I eat all the good food, like full fat milk, butter etc and I am still losing weight. I don't have to eat whatever you're calling food in order to lose weight.
Oh, and I drink soda and ice cream almost daily.
Get the man some real food or just break up. You're clearly too self involved in your own thing to consider your spouse what HE wants.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?
I am going to call bullsh*t on this one...who grafted a skillet to her hand anyway. He wants to eat some types of food that are not on her diet (the person doing the cooking) he should do what he did - get himself his stuff and eat it BUT WITHOUT PUSHING IT ON HER. He can make a list of what he misses and have a part of the pantry that is just his. If he worries about meals and the content then he should crack out the pots and pans and cook them himself...he is not an amputee so he has arms and hands that can prepare some food.
In my house I prepare the food so unless we are starting to be democratic about it and my man is going to start cooking he knows enough to not ***** too much about it or he will get an empty plate in front of him. I already cook three meals a night because I have the adults and two kids to cater to (they are at various stages of learning to eat (1 and 5) - and my oldest is hugely picky)...if I had to do something different because of what it is that I am supposed to be cooking for him I would go mental. It is really hard to make all that stuff that is bad for you and not partake. That is a huge ask. And not fair of him.
Maybe speak to him about a Sunday roast sort of situation - you can do a healthy roast but with fixings for him (like gravy, stuffing, fried chips and what not) but not have them yourself, or plan how many you can have and still stay within your calorie goals. Also, look for both of your favourite meals but in healthy versions - a lot of the time if you look at ways of making things that are low fat or low calorie versions they are tastier as well as healthier.
But throwing out food is not only childish and mean but so wasteful. Replace the stuff but also get him a few things that he wants...I, however, would burst the bank on the shop as a quiet little *kitten* you from me to him...0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
Tell your husband to call me so I can get YOU to pay HIM child support. I know good lawyers0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 998 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions