Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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Or just get super hot and make him feel like a fat slob so he'll start losing weight too0
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Yeahhhhh, no. His way of handling the situation was wrong. He should have just communicated that he would like some food in the house that he prefers to eat. Nothing wrong with using your words.0
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just break up0
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In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^ I agree with this.
It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...
^ I agree with both of these. My husband is already at his healthy weight and has maintained for over two years. He has his foods that he needs to have around him and so we try to plan for his foods and my foods throughout the day so we are both happy.0 -
EXACTLY!!!0
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ooooh ooooh oooooh, let me slap him upside the head for you. Oh hell no!!! Make him go buy it. :flowerforyou:0
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dayum. I'm a scared of you.
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Geesh I can't imagine living this way Holy mole.
Okay so to the OP. I think your husband was right to be mad, not right in the way he handled it. I don't really get why you'd put him on your diet when he's the one who is already slim? I think it's reasonable that WHILE you are losing weight and have a problem to fix, it be your problem and not everyone else's. I can only HOPE you were not putting the calorie restrictions of a woman on a man?! He was only trying to sabotage your diet because you put him on it too! He just wanted it to be over for everyone.
I would seriously go out and get him some things he likes. I would have done this even if he hadn't made that terrible demand but the fact that he did, at least shows that he is somewhat in touch with his emotions. He was trying to keep it in for a full month! I would have snapped too. Imagine this lady I just quoted she wouldn't have taken it for a hot second. You're lucky he held out this long, but would have been luckier if he had starting telling you he doesn't like that stuff sooner....OR HAS HE?
Usually whenever someone makes a complaint during an argument LOTS of omissions are made and that's why I ask.
Get YOU and HIM both food you both like and make him and yourself happy and agree to disagree on what to eat for the next year or two or however long it takes you to lose your excess weight. You're on a diet NOT him. Poor guy. :noway:0 -
So YOU'RE the one that is making all these changes, without asking him. And then you're wondering why he's snapping when you're feeding him crap in the name of "health food"? I eat all the good food, like full fat milk, butter etc and I am still losing weight. I don't have to eat whatever you're calling food in order to lose weight.
Oh, and I drink soda and ice cream almost daily.
Get the man some real food or just break up. You're clearly too self involved in your own thing to consider your spouse what HE wants.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?
I am going to call bullsh*t on this one...who grafted a skillet to her hand anyway. He wants to eat some types of food that are not on her diet (the person doing the cooking) he should do what he did - get himself his stuff and eat it BUT WITHOUT PUSHING IT ON HER. He can make a list of what he misses and have a part of the pantry that is just his. If he worries about meals and the content then he should crack out the pots and pans and cook them himself...he is not an amputee so he has arms and hands that can prepare some food.
In my house I prepare the food so unless we are starting to be democratic about it and my man is going to start cooking he knows enough to not ***** too much about it or he will get an empty plate in front of him. I already cook three meals a night because I have the adults and two kids to cater to (they are at various stages of learning to eat (1 and 5) - and my oldest is hugely picky)...if I had to do something different because of what it is that I am supposed to be cooking for him I would go mental. It is really hard to make all that stuff that is bad for you and not partake. That is a huge ask. And not fair of him.
Maybe speak to him about a Sunday roast sort of situation - you can do a healthy roast but with fixings for him (like gravy, stuffing, fried chips and what not) but not have them yourself, or plan how many you can have and still stay within your calorie goals. Also, look for both of your favourite meals but in healthy versions - a lot of the time if you look at ways of making things that are low fat or low calorie versions they are tastier as well as healthier.
But throwing out food is not only childish and mean but so wasteful. Replace the stuff but also get him a few things that he wants...I, however, would burst the bank on the shop as a quiet little *kitten* you from me to him...0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
Tell your husband to call me so I can get YOU to pay HIM child support. I know good lawyers0 -
:blushing: I got trampled by all the soon-to-be-divorced-women who think it's their way or the highway!In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?0 -
Wow, well if he wants those things he can go out and buy them. If your in charge of doing the shopping and cooking then he shut up and eat what is made for him. Just because he is thin doesn't mean he is healthy. He probably needs a little healthy food in his life.
Whole milk is fine, skim is gross. As long as your not drinking 3-4c a day you can have whole milk and cheese and be healthy. Yogurt is LOADED with sugar unless you get greek. Less sugar and more protein. I think you guys could meet in the middle somewhere. I make dinner for my guy and me but we don't eat the same things.
Focus on you and let him take care of him self. He's a big boy.0 -
I also don't think it has to be all or nothing.
I buy 3 different types of milk at my house....I drink skim, the kids drink 2% and my husband drinks rice milk (he's lactose intolerant). I'm the only one who likes Greek yogurt, so I buy that for me and buy regular yogurt for the kids. There are plenty of things that I like to eat that nobody else in the house does. No big deal.
This. My husband always preferred skim over 2%, so he has his milk and I have mine. Same for toothpaste and shampoo. I'm not going to force my husband to smell like strawberries and cream when he goes to work, so why should I force him to drink something he doesn't like? Let the poor man have his 2% for crying out loud.0 -
the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
I like you.0 -
tell him this is for u and not him! Tell him to quit being so damn selfish. What an ultra douche! No worries, I had to put my husband in check. What is fricken funny is how he has managed to lose 45 pounds and me only 15 but he's finally getting the concept...m lol...0
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If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right?
this.0 -
How disrespectful of him. I'm sorry. That's awful. Tell him to go buy his own "real food."
Edited to add: Yes, it would be nice if you bought him some things he enjoys eating. But to throw all the food away and demand new food the way he did? Ridiculous. My husband is thin and doesn't need to diet, and wants me to succeed, and is more than happy to give up his ice cream and cookies to see me get healthy. It's called love and respect. I hope he apologizes for the way he acted and you guys can work something out.0 -
lol..."I'm not a waitress!" My new word of the day. Waitress. lemme go to the chit chat boards with it.0
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How disrespectful of him. I'm sorry. That's awful. Tell him to go buy his own "real food."
He did. And wanted to share with his wife. Who's been feeding him crap in the name of "health food" for months. I don't know about you but I sure don't want to be in a relationship where my wife and I eat separately every time because my wife is on some fad diet again and feels insecure about her weight...0 -
So YOU'RE the one that is making all these changes, without asking him. And then you're wondering why he's snapping when you're feeding him crap in the name of "health food"? I eat all the good food, like full fat milk, butter etc and I am still losing weight. I don't have to eat whatever you're calling food in order to lose weight.
Oh, and I drink soda and ice cream almost daily.
Get the man some real food or just break up. You're clearly too self involved in your own thing to consider your spouse what HE wants.
You realize he freaked out on her because she didn't want to eat his food......
Plus he is a grown man, I doubt she held a gun to his head and FORCED him to eat the food in the house. He is an adult and can grocery shop for himself.0 -
I agree with much of what has been said before me.
My husband doesn't mind me trying to eat healthier, and he doesn't mind me adding more veggies to our meals, but he would blow a gasket if I told him not to bring snacks or bacon into the house ever again. lol. So we have a deal - he has his snacks and coke and junk food, but he keeps it where I never go. In this case, in his office. And I asked him not to buy my biggest temptation, which is Oreos. If he wants something unhealthy for dinner, he tells me the night before so that I can either make space in my calories for some, or I can plan to eat something else. But he knows he has to cook it himself! And since many of our meal plans include chicken, it's very simple for me to make one piece for him the way he likes, and one for me that's healthier. He still sort of feels weird about it, but we manage.
Sensible.
My husband is pretty happy to see how much success I am having so he is very keen on not throwing his rattle out of the pram and spoiling it. We have stuff in the house often that I can't eat the way I used to, but I am at a point in my progress where I am able to control the worst of my temptations. I have only cooked a separate meal for me once - they were having 300/link sausages and I had only about that much on my total left so had a veggie burger instead...that was hard.0 -
What you need to do is go house shopping, and get a new house from a Kosher Jewish family, with 2 totally separate kitchens. Problem solved. No need to break up.0
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Let him cool down. Maybe you can compromise? Buy some of the food he likes too. Its okay to cook some unhealthy meals once in awhile. I have a "cheat meal" usually once a week. Maybe more, depending on how active I am. I know you want to be healthy but it's his house too. Buy the man some soda!0
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So YOU'RE the one that is making all these changes, without asking him. And then you're wondering why he's snapping when you're feeding him crap in the name of "health food"? I eat all the good food, like full fat milk, butter etc and I am still losing weight. I don't have to eat whatever you're calling food in order to lose weight.
Oh, and I drink soda and ice cream almost daily.
Get the man some real food or just break up. You're clearly too self involved in your own thing to consider your spouse what HE wants.
You realize he freaked out on her because she didn't want to eat his food......
Plus he is a grown man, I doubt she held a gun to his head and FORCED him to eat the food in the house. He is an adult and can grocery shop for himself.
That is fine. He's a grown man and can eat outside daily. My favorite spot is at my mistresses place and/or strip club. He'll find someplace too0 -
Man you ladies are vicious on here. Husband abuse going on here. Really you would "smack him in the head" or "slap him" over that? What if he did that to you? That's kind of messed up. Also kicking him out for it? No no. If he did that to me we'd talk about it first and come to an even compromise.
Defiantly tell him how that made you feel. You can't dance around it with guys you need to be direct.
Really it's not worth abuse or divorce.0 -
I actually think that you should buy some food for him too. I know how he feels - my mom went on a diet, and my dad was SUPER supportive. But after months of eating all healthy, organic, kosher food, he got tired and started to miss soda and a good old steak. Try buying some of the foods he considers "real foods" that he likes but you don't, so you're not tempted to eat them, while still buying your healthy food. 0
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My boyfriend and I live together and we don't share the same diet. We go grocery shopping together and he buys what he wants and I buy what I want. Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him and we always ask each other what we'd like for lunch or dinner if the other one is cooking.
I agree that your husband overreacted and he handled it the wrong way but you can't expect him to follow in your steps if he doesn't want to (I'm NOT justifying what he did though).
It's all about COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.
It takes two to make a relationship work, not one telling the other what to do.0 -
How disrespectful of him. I'm sorry. That's awful. Tell him to go buy his own "real food."
He did. And wanted to share with his wife. Who's been feeding him crap in the name of "health food" for months. I don't know about you but I sure don't want to be in a relationship where my wife and I eat separately every time because my wife is on some fad diet again and feels insecure about her weight...
Why are you on MFP if you think being here is a 'fad' diet? Scratching my head - and maybe feeding the trolls on this one. It works both ways - neither of them should be imposing on each other what they don't like. But seriously, in 2013 he can't do a bit of shopping for himself? He is not equipped to manage the tills at a grocery store. Really?0 -
This forum is great but the "my husband is sabotaging me" stuff is getting old. And dear god some of you sound like you would call for divorce if your "hubby" left the toilet seat up. Buy something you both like and fight about something more important.0
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This is your husband, so I don't want to be flip or dismissive. While he is entitled to his feelings and thoughts, HOW he reacted was inappropriate. I also can't assume what you two have negotiated between the two of you - who is in charge of what chores, buying and prepping food, etc. We all have different approaches within our own families - and we can't assume to understand your relationship based on one post.
However, here's a couple things I think you should consider:
- an open discussion about how he acted and communicated. What worked and what didn't. Stewing about it and fuming silently can only destroy your relationship. An ultimatum like he delivered wouldn't work for me... but it might for you. Talk it through.
- When calm, explain WHY you're doing what you're doing.
- Clear out a shelf and a cabinet for HIS food, keep one for YOUR food, and one shared. Negotiate how your household will stock those shelves. Maybe it's that you will stock yours and he can stock his... maybe it's that you buy for both.
- Cook a base meal that would work for both of you. (For example, make a protein without salt, but ensure he has salt available to him), a starch or two, and a vegetable
- Give where you can. For example, I refuse to buy 2 kinds of milk, but my husband hates skim. So after researching and tallying, I can live with 1 or 2%, and so can he. It's a middle ground that works for us.
No matter what, I think the larger problem is not the discarded food but the anger and resentment. Work on getting to the root of that and the other stuff will likely disappear. My best to you.0
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