S/O's friend is ALWAYS coming over without asking. Advice?

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Brianna72994
Brianna72994 Posts: 887
in Chit-Chat
My boyfriend has a friend, we'll call him "Gary".
Gary is always coming over (multiple times a week) without asking. This includes when me and my boyfriend are hanging out, having some alone time. He doesn't even call or text. He just shows up.
So my question is, what do I do? It is my boyfriend's house. Do I have the right to tell him to stop? Should I keep my mouth shut? I have literally never experienced this before, so I'm completely clueless on what to do! But it does bother me quite a bit. Any advice would be helpful



ETA: When he does come over, we dont even do anything entertaining. It's usually either watching a boring movie, or watching his friend play my boyfriend's Xbox. Completely boring.
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  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    My boyfriend has a friend, we'll call him "Gary".
    Gary is always coming over (multiple times a week) without asking. This includes when me and my boyfriend are hanging out, having some alone time. He doesn't even call or text. He just shows up.
    So my question is, what do I do? It is my boyfriend's house. Do I have the right to tell him to stop? Should I keep my mouth shut? I have literally never experienced this before, so I'm completely clueless on what to do! But it does bother me quite a bit. Any advice would be helpful



    ETA: When he does come over, we dont even do anything entertaining. It's usually either watching a boring movie, or watching his friend play my boyfriend's Xbox. Completely boring.

    this your first relationship? that sounds like a normal bro to me...
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    What is your boyfriend's opinion of this behavior? Have you mentioned how you feel about it?

    No, you do not have the right to tell the man to stop without consulting with your boyfriend. You do have the right, and responsibility, to talk to your boyfriend when dude is not around.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    uh yea this is pretty run of the mill stuff.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    I love my boyfriends friends, so wouldn't mind at all. Multiple times a week seems normal for friends to hang out, does your boyfriend mind?
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    Talk to him about it.

    Why is open communication such a foreign concept, idgi. If something is weirding you out or making you uncomfortable, talk about it.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    if he keeps coming over...then your S/O hasn't told him to GTFO....

    so it seems to me your S/O is ok with him being over.....

    it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.

    huh? I feel cheated...
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    it's your boyfriends house.

    the most you can really say is to your bf "hey, sometimes he comes over unannounced, and i just want to spend time with you, and it kinda puts a damper on the mood." shoot him a wink, and he'll know what it means.


    also, become friends with you bf's friends. then when you bring this up to them, your saying it as a friend, and not as a girl that wants to take away this guys' best friend.
  • Igotdisbish
    Igotdisbish Posts: 91
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    m e n a g e a t r o i s
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    sorry to say, but it is his house and unless he has a problem with it, it will probably stay that way... maybe talk to him, though? Express your feelings...
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    There was this one time at band camp....

    Apparently, you dont remember being a kid and just going over to your friends house's unannounced to hang.....
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    if he keeps coming over...then your S/O hasn't told him to GTFO....

    so it seems to me your S/O is ok with him being over.....

    it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.

    He just doesn't want to be mean.
    He has admitted that his friend is "boring"
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    ...just because it's his house doesn't mean she can't <female dog> her *kitten* off about it...

    Where are these women who would put with anything because it's "his house" and why I have never met any of you?
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    OP is 18

    /end thread.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Tell him the TV is broken.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    Tell him the TV is broken.

    break the TV...that's what my cousin's would do...
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    While he is playing a video game, poop on the rug.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
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    two boys are better than one - - - embrace it (and yes, i mean that literally)
  • heypurdy
    heypurdy Posts: 196 Member
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    Doesn't matter if it's his house. You should tell him how you feel and he should tell his buddy to not come over when you're there, or without asking first. What a weirdo.
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
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    Duh...start coming on to him (or at least flirting a little).

    Prediction: S/O will put friend on the unwelcome guest list.

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