S/O's friend is ALWAYS coming over without asking. Advice?
Brianna72994
Posts: 887
in Chit-Chat
My boyfriend has a friend, we'll call him "Gary".
Gary is always coming over (multiple times a week) without asking. This includes when me and my boyfriend are hanging out, having some alone time. He doesn't even call or text. He just shows up.
So my question is, what do I do? It is my boyfriend's house. Do I have the right to tell him to stop? Should I keep my mouth shut? I have literally never experienced this before, so I'm completely clueless on what to do! But it does bother me quite a bit. Any advice would be helpful
ETA: When he does come over, we dont even do anything entertaining. It's usually either watching a boring movie, or watching his friend play my boyfriend's Xbox. Completely boring.
Gary is always coming over (multiple times a week) without asking. This includes when me and my boyfriend are hanging out, having some alone time. He doesn't even call or text. He just shows up.
So my question is, what do I do? It is my boyfriend's house. Do I have the right to tell him to stop? Should I keep my mouth shut? I have literally never experienced this before, so I'm completely clueless on what to do! But it does bother me quite a bit. Any advice would be helpful
ETA: When he does come over, we dont even do anything entertaining. It's usually either watching a boring movie, or watching his friend play my boyfriend's Xbox. Completely boring.
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Replies
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My boyfriend has a friend, we'll call him "Gary".
Gary is always coming over (multiple times a week) without asking. This includes when me and my boyfriend are hanging out, having some alone time. He doesn't even call or text. He just shows up.
So my question is, what do I do? It is my boyfriend's house. Do I have the right to tell him to stop? Should I keep my mouth shut? I have literally never experienced this before, so I'm completely clueless on what to do! But it does bother me quite a bit. Any advice would be helpful
ETA: When he does come over, we dont even do anything entertaining. It's usually either watching a boring movie, or watching his friend play my boyfriend's Xbox. Completely boring.
this your first relationship? that sounds like a normal bro to me...0 -
What is your boyfriend's opinion of this behavior? Have you mentioned how you feel about it?
No, you do not have the right to tell the man to stop without consulting with your boyfriend. You do have the right, and responsibility, to talk to your boyfriend when dude is not around.0 -
uh yea this is pretty run of the mill stuff.0
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I love my boyfriends friends, so wouldn't mind at all. Multiple times a week seems normal for friends to hang out, does your boyfriend mind?0
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Talk to him about it.
Why is open communication such a foreign concept, idgi. If something is weirding you out or making you uncomfortable, talk about it.0 -
if he keeps coming over...then your S/O hasn't told him to GTFO....
so it seems to me your S/O is ok with him being over.....
it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.0 -
it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.
huh? I feel cheated...0 -
it's your boyfriends house.
the most you can really say is to your bf "hey, sometimes he comes over unannounced, and i just want to spend time with you, and it kinda puts a damper on the mood." shoot him a wink, and he'll know what it means.
also, become friends with you bf's friends. then when you bring this up to them, your saying it as a friend, and not as a girl that wants to take away this guys' best friend.0 -
m e n a g e a t r o i s0
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sorry to say, but it is his house and unless he has a problem with it, it will probably stay that way... maybe talk to him, though? Express your feelings...0
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There was this one time at band camp....
Apparently, you dont remember being a kid and just going over to your friends house's unannounced to hang.....0 -
if he keeps coming over...then your S/O hasn't told him to GTFO....
so it seems to me your S/O is ok with him being over.....
it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.
He just doesn't want to be mean.
He has admitted that his friend is "boring"0 -
...just because it's his house doesn't mean she can't <female dog> her *kitten* off about it...
Where are these women who would put with anything because it's "his house" and why I have never met any of you?0 -
OP is 18
/end thread.0 -
Tell him the TV is broken.0
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Tell him the TV is broken.
break the TV...that's what my cousin's would do...0 -
While he is playing a video game, poop on the rug.0
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two boys are better than one - - - embrace it (and yes, i mean that literally)0
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Doesn't matter if it's his house. You should tell him how you feel and he should tell his buddy to not come over when you're there, or without asking first. What a weirdo.0
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Duh...start coming on to him (or at least flirting a little).
Prediction: S/O will put friend on the unwelcome guest list.0 -
Get your own place and invite your boyfriend over.0
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OP is 18
/end thread.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen. Haha0 -
I guess you guys could hang out at your place instead? If I were you, I'd just discuss with the boyfriend though.0
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OP is 18
/end thread.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen. Haha
I didnt realize age had anything to do with it, or the point of this thread.0 -
LOL love the two boys are better than one.
i have a similar situation but i'm married so the house is just as much mine (if not more) i just told his freind if he is going to show up unannounced he is required to bring me a six pack of delicious beer. Its worked out pretty good so far.0 -
Tell your boyfriend how you feel. You boyfriend needs to tell his friend to call or text to see if it is ok for him to come over or if you guys are busy. He shouldn't just show up.0
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1. Don't put your relationship problems on the internet for a bunch of strangers to comment on. They don't know you, him or what's really going on. Also, a relationship should be between two people..not two people and everyone else who has an opinion. Plus, I think your SO would probably be pissed.
2. Learn about communication. It's one of the most important things in a relationship. This means instead of talking to everyone else about something - talk to him. Even if it is frustrating, keep talking because no one but the two of you are going to be able to resolve your relationship issues.
3. You may say that this isn't a relationship issue but it is.
4. Again, don't ever put your relationship problems on the internet unless you are just looking for reasons to break up with someone, trying to encourage people to side with you on a situation even if you are presenting the situation in a biased way, or you just want attention.0 -
OP is 18
/end thread.
'nuff said.0 -
Move along , nothing to see here0
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if he keeps coming over...then your S/O hasn't told him to GTFO....
so it seems to me your S/O is ok with him being over.....
it's not your house, you don't get to make the rules.
He just doesn't want to be mean.
He has admitted that his friend is "boring"
^^Just because someone knocks or rings the bell doesn't mean you have to answer it. Its not a summons. OR...open the door in lingerie and tell the friend that your b/f is not available ::wink wink::.0
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