Giving up on moderation. (please read)
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After fighting this battle with my weight for literal years, I honestly have gotten to the point where I'm fed up with trying to moderate foods that I always end up over eating. I posted a thread a few weeks ago about how sugary pastry-like foods such as cookies, pies, cake, snack cakes, etc, were always my ultimate vice when it came to weight loss & maintaining a healthy weight, & have always been the reason why I either fail to lose weight, or I gain it back once I've lost it. I said that I was going to try limiting my intake of them to 200 calories worth a day in order to practice "moderation" & to somehow re-wire my brain to realize that I don't *have* to overeat on those things, & that I could enjoy them in small portions.
Boy was that an epic fail. First of all, 200 calories worth of a food that I'm typically known to binge on felt like a crumb. You ever try giving an alcoholic just one glass of wine? How well does that ever work out? Once I'd eaten my 200 calorie serving I'd sit there & try to convince myself "Okay, Angie. That was enough. Now continue on with your day like nothing happened." But here's the thing - I couldn't. The voice screaming "MORE, MORE, MORE!" was always so ridiculously strong & unwavering. It was almost scary sometimes. It made me realize why I usually say "**** it, I'm eating the whole box" after the first bite without even trying to fight it. Because trying to fight it literally becomes an exhausting mental battle & focusing on anything else becomes difficult. It's like my mind can't rest until I've had more.
I know I probably sound crazy, and I'm not sure if any of you out there can relate to me on this, but I truly believe that all the years of binging & over eating on sweets has corrupted my brain somehow, in that once I get a taste, my will to stop whittles to nothing. I can honestly say that just not having any at all is MUCH easier than having one & then wanting a thousand more but attempting to fight that urge.
In the past I've thought it impossible to give up those foods for good. "How could I ever give up cookies & cake & pie forever? There will always be some event that has it. What if I go out to eat & they order some great dessert? etc. etc." But then I thought about it this way. People who go vegetarian or raw vegan or gluten-free have to say no to WAY more foods. They can't eat 9/10 of the stuff at the average grocery store or restaurant, & I'm worried about saying no to dessert? Plus, when I actually take the time to look back, 95% of the time I overate on dessert, it was when I was alone in my room with no one around. People rarely offer the stuff to me. I always choose to eat it myself & in private. And when I think about the benefits - having a body I'm actually proud of, fitting into my old clothes again, no longer losing weight only to gain it back after slipping back into the sugar trap, being able to enjoy the vast amount of healthy food available to me instead, no longer spending nights alone in my room ashamed & sick to my stomach after a binge session, avoiding the risk of diabetes that runs in my family - it seems worth it.
But I can't lie, I still have some doubts & worries about changing my life in such a drastic way. I think about occasions like Valentine's Day, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving & birthdays, where there's bound to be sugar involved, & wonder how I could possibly evade the urge to have any, especially if I'm offered it or it's being given out. I'm scared of doing well for a period of time and then relapsing. I want to hear opinions/possible alternatives to my plan, or if any of you have faced similar struggles. It's a really big decision & I know in order for me to succeed in it, I have to decide 100% that it's what I want to do.
Hang in there and I agree completely- sometimes you can't even try a taste bc it will only torture you. I tried something that usually works which was to omit all flour and ice cream- weight comes off pretty fast. Good luck.0 -
Thanks for posting this, it has been kind of a wake up call to me. I've been a sugar craver for as long as I can remember. My mom always watched her weight and didn't keep snacks in the house, so as soon as I was old enough, I would ride my bike to the store to get candy or chocolate chips to make cookies. I was never a "have one piece" or "have one bite person" either. Years ago, I did low carb for awhile and it really helped me to kind of reset everything. I can relate to those who have said that really sweet things are too much now. You can, I think, change how things taste and what you like and can tolerate. But for me chocolate is still something I crave daily. I had been keeping dark chocolate in the house and only having a square a day, but just had the realization how much I've actually been eating in a week. One square turned to 2, 2 to 3, so maybe it is time to get it out of the house too?
A lot of people on MFP preach that you shouldn't deprive, you need to have moderation, balance, etc., but for some that is easier than others. I would try what some have suggested to cut out sugar entirely for a period of time, which will be difficult, but might help in the long run.
Oh, and I just dumped out my coffee that I had put a bunch of sugar in!0 -
I hear ya. I've completely stopped shopping down the "snacks" aisle at the grocery store for the same reasons. If I was to buy a box of Oreos or a cake I'd just end up demolishing the whole thing rather than limiting myself to a 200-300 cal snack.0
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Sounds so familiar to me. As I write this, I have a batch of monster cookies sitting in the kitchen. I sneak one every time I walk by, because I know my husband would be disgusted if he saw how many I can eat in one go. He has no issue with sweets - can take it or leave it - and always says that everything in moderation is okay. Yes, it is....if you can DO MODERATION. I've agreed with so many things in the comments here. I know if I go cold turkey (2 weeks usually kicks it) I won't even want it anymore. It's this painful first few days.0
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OP - this is such a wonderful post...so honest and well explained. I don't have this issue but my BF does. All people are different. I can do moderation and be fine......I believe my BF struggles in his mind like you mentioned. I do think that you must do what works for you. Clearly moderation does not work for you at this time in your life, so follow your brain and heart and walk away completely. Hopefully this will create the discipline you are looking for, and it may be a while and it may never get to moderation however it should get easier.
I wish you well in your decision.0 -
One day at dance after Halloween, I had a brain wave that every bad relationship song applied exactly to my relationship with sugar. As a result, I have lots of phrases I can sing to the evil chocolate cake that is calling my name.
Something that helps me is to replace the bad treats with good ones. As an example, I love raspberries. Yes, they are expensive, but not really as expensive as all those bad treats! So I allow myself wonderful fruits and vegetables, the tasty kind, to replace the bad treats.0 -
I, too, am a sugar addict. I've never had any issues with salty things like chips, fast food, soda, alcohol or drugs. Just sugar. I was never able to have 'just one' unless the 'just one' applied to the entire box/bag of cookies or chocolate (Lindor chocolate is my biggest weakness!). At some point I happened to be reading an article on how treatment centers for alcoholics were having good results curbing cravings for alcohol using the amino acid L-glutamine. The article also mentioned that there was promising evidence that L-glutamine could help curve sugary food cravings, too. I started looking in to this and came across a book called The Diet Cure by Julia Ross (the revised and updated version). I think it's a terrible name, but I assume it is named as such because it is supposed to 'cure' you from ever feeling like you have to diet again. The premise is that due to poor eating/drinking habits over an extended period of time, you end up with some biochemical imbalances and you can help restore that balance by supplementing with the correct amino acids. Long story short, I read the book twice (it can be complicated and there is a lot of info in there) and I started supplementing with L-glutamine and my cravings have significantly lessened. It took about 2 weeks for me (the book says it can happen really quickly for some. It was not immediate for me) and I can honestly say that I really only have serious cravings for about 2-3 days before my period starts. This month I upped my L-glutamine dose just for the week that is always the worst for me and I made it through remarkably well. I used to get cravings bad enough that I would head out at 10pm at night to get some Ben & Jerry's or some other equivalent to try to satisfy them. And of course I would then proceed to eat the whole thing. That wasn't necessary this month, for the first time in years. The idea with the supplementation is that once balance has been restored you can stop taking the amino supplements, and you are able to maintain that balance through eating a healthy diet. It's not something that you will have to take for the rest of your life.
I'm not saying that this book is correct, I'm not saying it will work for everyone, and I would appreciate it if anyone with negative opinions about it would not direct them at me. Obviously you should feel free to share your opinion and that should only help to give more information to everyone on here. I'm just saying that the supplementation that this book recommends greatly helped me. I will say that I think supplementing like this would be much better if explained/supervised by someone medically versed in it. I will also mention that depending on how much of how many supplements you need, it can get a little expensive, it might be tricky to determine your dose (I just started at the low end and that has worked well for me, with the exception of upping it for PMS week), and you need to take them at specific times of the day (which may be difficult or frustrating for some folks). However, you only need to take them until things are back in balance and for me, so far it has been so worth it. It is much easier to eat healthy when you aren't constantly fighting cravings!0 -
Like you, I have been down this road many times. While I really wanted to lose weight, I wasn't setting reasonable or sustainable goals for myself. I have followed every "program", "food plan", fad, diet, trend, restrictive, low cal, low carb, you name it, I've tried it. I started out great, for the first week or two and then as that deadline approached (the unrealistic one) I would get overwhelmed, know there was no way I could ever do it, feel like a failure, start to fall off, feel more guilty, binge, guilt again, done. (Sorry for the run on but kind of out of control like the way you feel at the time). The fact that I was not fueling by body or my brain enough didn't help my thought process. Back then I could run and exercise like crazy.....oh, those were the days.
I've lost the same 40 - 50lbs probably 20 times and now I'm looking at losing over 100. This time, and for the life of me I can't tell you why it just "clicked", it will be the last time. My head is finally in the game, and unfortunately, yours doesn't sound like it is. Oh I get that you want to lose the weight, but you don't want it more than you "think" you want that food. I have no "expectations" for myself, I am not doing anything that is something I wouldn't do every day of my life. I follow MFP recommendations, I will eat what I exercise, even though that isn't even in the cards yet and I am still losing weight. That being said, I am doing it in a healthy, slow, reasonable and sustainable way.
I don't wan't to be looking back a year from now and say "That could have been me". I will not omit anything so I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. I can have just one piece of cake or what have you, heck I can have the whole cake too if I want, nothing stopping me. The difference now is that I want to be successful, confident and happy more than I "think" I want that cake. The other turning point for me is if I did eat the whole thing, I wouldn't beat myself up, feel guilty, or quit. That entire cake would be in my food log to remind me that this week I didn't lose a pound or gained a couple and that is that. No guilt, no blame, just a simple fact.
I have also found that I used to reach for sugary treats, actually anything that was in reach and edible, when there was something else going on. For example, mindless snacking when you are watching TV, when you get stressed or excited,sad. Maybe there are some other factors holding you back? This is definitely not easy for me, and there is no magic pill or plan it really comes down to willpower and patience. Not something I had back in the day. If you really put your mind to it you can do this! Good Luck!0 -
I had to give up pop and candy for health. I is easier to do the impossible then you think. Cut those binge foods out, think of them as rat poison. Good luck!0
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I felt this way when I was undereating. I'm not suggesting that you're undereating - just sharing what happened with me. I constantly craved sugar and when I would eat any type of sugary, pastry, dessert, icecream, etc. I'd overindulge. There was no turning it off - I felt like I HAD to it, and ALL of it, like an addict or something. It was scary and it really stressed me out b/c I felt like I could never be successful. Now that I'm eating more I feel so much better. It's still a struggle b/c I still love those foods and want to keep eating just because they taste so good, but the needy-addict feeling is gone. Do what you need to do to be successful. Hopefully you can find a balance eventually, but do what you've got to do to get there.
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After fighting this battle with my weight for literal years, I honestly have gotten to the point where I'm fed up with trying to moderate foods that I always end up over eating. I posted a thread a few weeks ago about how sugary pastry-like foods such as cookies, pies, cake, snack cakes, etc, were always my ultimate vice when it came to weight loss & maintaining a healthy weight, & have always been the reason why I either fail to lose weight, or I gain it back once I've lost it. I said that I was going to try limiting my intake of them to 200 calories worth a day in order to practice "moderation" & to somehow re-wire my brain to realize that I don't *have* to overeat on those things, & that I could enjoy them in small portions.
Boy was that an epic fail. First of all, 200 calories worth of a food that I'm typically known to binge on felt like a crumb. You ever try giving an alcoholic just one glass of wine? How well does that ever work out? Once I'd eaten my 200 calorie serving I'd sit there & try to convince myself "Okay, Angie. That was enough. Now continue on with your day like nothing happened." But here's the thing - I couldn't. The voice screaming "MORE, MORE, MORE!" was always so ridiculously strong & unwavering. It was almost scary sometimes. It made me realize why I usually say "**** it, I'm eating the whole box" after the first bite without even trying to fight it. Because trying to fight it literally becomes an exhausting mental battle & focusing on anything else becomes difficult. It's like my mind can't rest until I've had more.
I know I probably sound crazy, and I'm not sure if any of you out there can relate to me on this, but I truly believe that all the years of binging & over eating on sweets has corrupted my brain somehow, in that once I get a taste, my will to stop whittles to nothing. I can honestly say that just not having any at all is MUCH easier than having one & then wanting a thousand more but attempting to fight that urge.
In the past I've thought it impossible to give up those foods for good. "How could I ever give up cookies & cake & pie forever? There will always be some event that has it. What if I go out to eat & they order some great dessert? etc. etc." But then I thought about it this way. People who go vegetarian or raw vegan or gluten-free have to say no to WAY more foods. They can't eat 9/10 of the stuff at the average grocery store or restaurant, & I'm worried about saying no to dessert? Plus, when I actually take the time to look back, 95% of the time I overate on dessert, it was when I was alone in my room with no one around. People rarely offer the stuff to me. I always choose to eat it myself & in private. And when I think about the benefits - having a body I'm actually proud of, fitting into my old clothes again, no longer losing weight only to gain it back after slipping back into the sugar trap, being able to enjoy the vast amount of healthy food available to me instead, no longer spending nights alone in my room ashamed & sick to my stomach after a binge session, avoiding the risk of diabetes that runs in my family - it seems worth it.
But I can't lie, I still have some doubts & worries about changing my life in such a drastic way. I think about occasions like Valentine's Day, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving & birthdays, where there's bound to be sugar involved, & wonder how I could possibly evade the urge to have any, especially if I'm offered it or it's being given out. I'm scared of doing well for a period of time and then relapsing. I want to hear opinions/possible alternatives to my plan, or if any of you have faced similar struggles. It's a really big decision & I know in order for me to succeed in it, I have to decide 100% that it's what I want to do.
I understand where you're coming from. Eat some pastry, spike my blood sugar, get ravenous and need more. If it's in my house I'll finish it up.
I can not have that stuff in the house but if I'm good and stick to my better eating habits I never pass on a serving on special occasions. Today I'll be at a birthday party and intend on having a piece of cake. I'll eat my real meal before I go so I don't eat the pizza, fried chicken or whatever else they have there but I'll join in the celebration and have a piece of cake then go home and if I'm hungry I have some chicken breast cooked and ready. 5oz and a salad will take care of the after effects of the blood sugar spike and I didn't have to give up on anything. I just had to walk away from the "trigger food".0 -
I agree to the most, but we all have developed our own way of handling it. Best thing for you is find out what works best for you.
If you do not have any sweets at home, there is less you can eat and if you grave for more, grab a healthy comparative of your choice or in really bad times JUST BUY ONE PIECE instead of a box.
I am believing you have shown many times dicipline in different areas of your life and reached your goal whatever it was. Exact his same dicipline you can develope in this little field too. I am very confident of you and your future path ... YOU CAN DO IT, WE ALL CAN!!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
I have to give up all of those things too. I just can't/won't stay in control. "Only in moderation" does not work for the gooey crunchy good chocolately sugary sweet cake stuff.
I can stay in control with Skinny Cow Ice cream, so I will have that daily.0 -
I was thinking on this very subject last night and thinking I was the only one.
It is almost like I have a fear of foods now because I know I am only 1 step away from a binge and failure and I want so much this time to succeed; I need to succeed to save my life. I have a huge problem with sweets, especially chocolate. Once I start with it, it appears I can do it in moderation as I will only eat 1 candy bar, 2 cookies, 1 piece of cake, etc., but the problem is I will want to repeat it in a few hours and then the next day and the next and then the next thing I know I am in a pattern that is hard to break. The same thing goes with a few other non-sweet food items. So I have learned after a lot of trial and error that those are my trigger foods, and there are many trigger foods for me. I live alone so it is a little easier for me to clean out the cupboards, the frig, the freezer and remove any items that will cause me to overeat. or binge. I am not saying I never eat these things. What I do is make sure that I have them in a situation where I could not overdo it. Occassionally, if I have craved a candy bar for days, I will go to the store and buy 1...just 1, not a whole bag, and I will eat it. This week I craved potato chips all week before I finally bought a bag at the end of the week. I counted out 2 servings, 23 chips, for about 200 calories. I did it when my daughter was with me because if I were alone, I might not have been able to stop at 2 servings. When she left to go home, I had her take the bag with her. It doesn't feel good to not be able to trust myself with food, but it doesn't feel good to weigh 300 lbs either. Last night I was thinking I was some kind of wierdo for having this strange relationship with food. Your post has helped me just by knowing I am not alone and I just need to continue doing what I'm doing if that is what works for me. I hope you find a way to make it work for you too. 0 -
Sweets and pastries don't have to be unhealthy. Learn to make your own healthy snacks.
You can make anything healthier and have much less calories and it can be just as good if not better.0 -
Also, for anyone that struggles with not being able to limit yourself to only a small amount, you will have to learn eventually. That is unless you want to gain weight back. I'm guilty of this myself, I can't have just one slice of pizza or just a couple of wings. Once I start I can't stop. This is lack of discipline and its something we all have to train ourselves to change.
We have to shape and retrain our minds so that we can make a permanent healthy lifestyle change. If we don't, we'll spend our entire lives in the vicious cycle that is yoyo-ing.
I for one don't want to ever give up unhealthy, fatty, yet delicious junk food that I love so much. I want to be able to have just a few bites and be ok with that.
One tip that has helped me tremendously is drinking water whenever I crave anything. Not just a glass, but 2-3. I've started drinking 1-2 gallons of water recently and had since curbed most cravings and have also began to lose weight at a faster rate.0 -
Everyone is different
I gave up: white sugar (and all things made with it), white flour and beer about 12 years ago and all heavily processed foods, including most fast food.
The first two weeks sucked.
Now, 12 years later, the thought of a snickers, my former favorite vice, makes me want to hoark.
For me, the key was keeping my blood sugar/insulin stable. Spikes are not my friend.
I don't "moderate" those foods. I just don't eat them.
And I don't crave them.
Good luck finding what works for YOU (not trying to do what everyone on here swears is the only way).
The goal is not weight loss. The goal is getting to and MAINTAINING a healthy weight.
We all know how to lose weight...0 -
This is why I had to give up peanut butter. I would eat it with a spoon until it was too late and I realized how many calories I'd just consumed in like 5 minutes..... PB is evil!!!!!!! Now I buy the Jif Natural to go and stick only to the 1 serving, it's SUPER TOUGH0
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I didn't give up sugar, but I did give up items with high fructose corn syrup in them. I felt like my desire to binge dropped WAY back and I just felt better overall not having it. I'll admit that occasionally I miss it on the ingredient list of certain foods (I'm in a hurry and don't read each and every thing) - I can definitely feel it. It makes me bloated and gives me a headache. I found that once I cut that out of my life, I could eat sweets in moderation. I didn't feel the desire to gorge on them anymore. *shrug*
Also, learning to limit your food consumption (of any food really) to a healthy portion is NOT an easy thing to do. Especially when you are used to overeating. It takes time and energy.0 -
I agree with you that it is easier to say no to something altogether than it is to have a bite and then say no to the rest of the box! It it easier said than done I know, but I agree with not buying or keeping anything in your house that you don't want yourself to eat. I also don't eat out when I am getting serious eating healthy...when I eat out it is a treat so I can order whatever I want and that is a "cheat day". At night I often find I crave something less healthy. I started having an apple with peanut butter spread on the side. Still crunchy, and the peanut butter reminds me of a reece's pieces peanut butter cup (or I can talk myself into believing that it does It feels like I've "cheated" but it's actually a snack that I don't have to feel guilty about 0
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A trick I use, when I want sweets is to get sugar free chocolate pudding, and a spoon of peanut butter, and dip the spoon in the pudding. In our house they're called "peanut butter pudding spoons. Husband loves them. 60ish calories of "sweets" and some protein!I agree with you that it is easier to say no to something altogether than it is to have a bite and then say no to the rest of the box! It it easier said than done I know, but I agree with not buying or keeping anything in your house that you don't want yourself to eat. I also don't eat out when I am getting serious eating healthy...when I eat out it is a treat so I can order whatever I want and that is a "cheat day". At night I often find I crave something less healthy. I started having an apple with peanut butter spread on the side. Still crunchy, and the peanut butter reminds me of a reece's pieces peanut butter cup (or I can talk myself into believing that it does It feels like I've "cheated" but it's actually a snack that I don't have to feel guilty about0 -
I 'm so with you, I think like you even put in freezer, still calls, on occasion dug it out of the garbage, disgusting. I'm eating better now , more calories than other programs ,more satisfied and happy. I only buy portion size treats, one at a time. But eating better more calories has been a major boost for me. Good luck to you!!!!0
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I 'm so with you, I think like you even put in freezer, still calls, on occasion dug it out of the garbage, disgusting. I'm eating better now , more calories than other programs ,more satisfied and happy. I only buy portion size treats, one at a time. But eating better more calories has been a major boost for me. Good luck to you!!!!
I too have eaten frozen candy (it's a wonder I didn't break a tooth) and other things. Also, dug things out of the garbage. Now, I don't just throw it in the garbage, I also throw something on top of it like coffee grounds, water, anything to make sure it stays in the garbage. I applaud you for your courage in admitting that on here. I know it isn't easy, but as they say in AA, "we are only as sick as our secrets". I am not an alcoholic, but have gone to a few meetings and while listening to others talk, I have substituted the word "overeater" in place of alcoholic. For some people, food is an addiction and I wish it wasn't that way for me, but truth is, it IS that way for me. I feel that just in admitting it, accepting it, that a (small) part of the battle is conquered. Good luck to you pal. I'm so glad you are on here.0 -
Sugary stuff causes reactions in your brain similar to drugs. For some people (people who react so strongly and binge on sweets), completely eliminating sweets is the only way to do it. I've cut out almost all carbs because it helps me lose weight and have a more stable mood and more energy. When I was dieting before without really limiting carbs, I always craved sweets. Now I am much more under control. I feel full when I'm done eating and my cravings are almost nothing. A website that I have been finding really helpful is the eating academy (Peter Attia). Best of luck to you!0
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I totally understand. There are just some things I cant have. After not eating there for months I went to my favorite.coffee shop and got one of their wonderful scones. It was delicious. And gave me the shakes and uncontrollable carb cravings for hours. If I can avoid that feeling and being so out of control just by avoiding a food that I already know isn't good for me...pretty easy decision. I'm not saying I will never eat a pastry again. I'm just saying I can choose differently and make sure it IS a choice.0
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I understand totally what you are going threw, but I make sure if I do crave sweets I make sure its in my calorie intake and because I eat healthy most days I really dont crave the sweets as much as I did before. You have to do whats best for you and in the beginning I did go cold turkey cause I did not have control, but the more focus and the determined you are to reach your goal you wont let one small cookie turn into a whole pack.You are going to do great you are already determined.0
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I've had my own struggles with portion control (salty/spicy/starchy, though--not sugar). There have been studies that show eating high-carb foods (simple sugars and starches) actually increases the production of serotonin in the brain. So, for a short burst of time, they do actually make you feel good and elevate your mood.
Maybe if you either struggle with depression or anxiety or just experience high levels of stress (don't know if that's the case, just throwing the idea out there since it is the case for me), you may be craving and eating these foods as a way to cope. It's definitely something I do! So, instead of turning to food, I've been trying to reach out to friends or accomplish something around the house. Essentially, I'm replacing it with something that will make me feel equally good that has nothing to do with food.
Since I've started changing the eating habit into more productive ones, I've found that my interest in the trigger foods has waned. I've also been dividing the packages of snack foods I do buy into single-serve portions as soon as I get them in the door. It allows me to still enjoy those foods in a way that doesn't wreak havoc on my body or my mind.
You should be very proud of your goal to take control of your health and lifestyle; it's not easy! Good luck on your journey and I hope you find the solution that works best for you! 0 -
It is SO hard to get over sugar, but it can be done. I would get irritated and anxious, and could feel just how addicted I was. The methods that worked best for me were to get out of the house (far, far away from the treats, without my wallet to buy others), drink a glass of water, chew gum, fill up on veggies. It took a few weeks, but its so much better now. It made me feel so horrible to crave sugar the way I did that I cannot even bring myself to touch peanut butter since that would set me off (natural is so much better and doesn't drive me crazy). Yes, I fear Kraft Peanut Butter. And yes, sugar made me feel crazy.
Good luck, and thank you to everyone sharing here about how far they've gone.0 -
I get it 100%. Sweets are my problem too, I can't eat them in moderation. I can not. I eat the whole container. Soda too. I'm cutting them out.0
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Will power is leaving the cake at the store. I don't keep that stuff in the house either (anymore). If I don't buy it, I can't eat it. That part gets easy. I do "window shop" in the bakery or ice cream isle, but, I leave with out them. If I do have something now, it's either purchased or made in a portion that I can't over eat, because one I eat my 1 serving, it's all gone.0
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